Disclaimer: No…I do not own South Park. If I did, I would be a character. And sadly, there is no character named "Liza" or "Calamity" so my hope is lost, but at least I won't get sued! Hopefully!

A:N:Okay, I'm not so good with writing fanfics. Usually I just read them. Also, Kenny and Kyle are actually speaking through their hoods, so their friends can't tell which is which, of course, but I won't type all the mmmmphs. This idea came to me after I was humming SexyBack. I have no idea how I got the idea…but….the story shall be written!. !Ohhh, my baby's sexy fo shoooo! Sorry. Had to quote Pussycat Dolls before I got started. D

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Kenny Has His Advantages

"Remind why I'm doing this again," Kyle asked his orange hooded friend, as he skimmed Kenny's closet.

"We're fucking bored," Kenny replied.

"Right." Kyle was over at Kenny's house, and tried to pick out a parka that was like Kenny's, which wasn't that hard considering the fact that Kenny had a lot of orange parkas in his closet.

The plan was to dress Kyle exactly like Kenny, talk like Kenny, and act like Kenny, which Kyle would later take advantage on.

After half an hour of preparation, Kyle was done. He looked exactly like Kenny, after his hair was combed down so it would stick up, and flip the hood off of his head.

"Perfect," Kenny grinned, "now, we know how to talk, right?" Kyle nodded. Kenny had recently announced that he was bi, so no matter what gender, Kyle got to make perverted comments about everyone. The Kenny Jew wondered what he was supposed to say when it came to his super best friend, the one that he liked for quite awhile. Kenny was also well aware of it.

"Wait, what if one of us dies?!!?!" Kyle shrieked, acting more like Tweek, then Kenny.

"I made a bargain with death, don't worry."

"Good."

"Great, now it's off to the middle school," Kenny declared.

The non Kenny grabbed his green hat on the way out, somehow folded it, put it in his pocket, and walked side by side with Kenny, until they met with Stan and Cartman at the entrance of the school. Kyle had forgotten that he looked like Kenny, and he was confused himself for a while when Stan had a bewildered look on his face.

"Kenny?" Stan asked the two hooded figures.

"Yes?" Both of the Kennys responded simultaneously. Cartman chuckled.

"I think Kenneh cloned himself," Cartman laughed, "poor Kenneh wanted a friend!"

Both Kennys glared at Cartman. That was one of the things Kyle learned. If Kenny or Kyle is insulted, both are insulted.

"Okay, okay, then where's Kyle?" Stan asked, looking around for his super best friend. Kenny and Kyle looked at each other, and pointed.

"WHAT?" Stan yelled. Kyle (or maybe it was Kenny) shrugged.

Cartman found this hilarious.

"That's it, I'm settling this," Stan walked over to Kenny (or maybe it was Kyle), and attempted to pull his hood off. Luckily, they were ready for this. The other Kenny came from behind and kicked him in the fucking leg. Yes, that was their grand plan if someone tried to figure out who was who. Stan yelped and backed up, rubbing his leg. Whoever kicked him was a good kicker. Kenny and Kyle high-fived each other and walked into school as the bell rang.

Stan growled as he realized that Kenny and Kyle had every class together, except for History and LA.

Stan had History with Kyle, which meant that he could finally identify who was who, without getting kicked in the fucking leg again. Not even minutes into school, and Stan was already plotting.

In History, after many confused faces, angry teachers, and perverted comments

"Hello Kyle," Stan said, sliding into the seat next to "Kyle." "Kyle" was, in fact, Kyle, but he wasn't going to let Stan think that.

"I'm not Kyle," he said, barely understandable.

"Then you're Kenny!"

"No."

"Damn it!" Stan pounded his fists on his desk, causing the History teacher to turn around.

"Kenny! You're not in this class," Mr. Garrison informed Kyle.

"I'm mphmph," Kyle declared.

"What?"

"I'm MPHMPH"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Kyle growled

"Mmph mmph mmmph mmph!" The Kenny purposely made it hard to understand him, and soon Mr. Garrison got tired of asking.

"Who the fuck are you!?!?" Stan yelled at Kenny/Kyle.

"STANLY!" Mr. Garrison yelled, "Do not say FUCK in middle school! Do you want to get sent to the fucking principal's office?"

"No Mr. Garrison."

"Then shut up!" Stan and Kyle sat in the back, and Mr. Garrison started a movie about some Historic event, so the super best friends talked unnoticed.

Without notice, Stan pulled off Kyle's hood, but failed. Kyle was much too quick, and he held it to his head. And kicked Stan in the fucking leg.

"ARGH!" Stan yelped, feeling a sharp pain in his lower leg. Stan glared, as Kyle groaned.

Stan had made a tear in his hood.

Kyle angrily muttered to himself, causing Stan noticed the tear.

The non-Kenny Kenny thought carefully about what he was going to do with Stan, when he realized no matter what he did, he will never know who did it to him.

"Stan," Kyle whispered. It was hard enough understanding him with the hood on, but when he was whispering, it wasn't any help.

"STAN!"

"What?" Kyle received a question in a hush whisper.

"I'll tell you who I am after class, okay?" Kyle grinned beneath his hood. He wanted to do something that he would never get the chance to do, except for mostly now.

"Okay," Stan was suspicious about the Kenny's plan, but he agreed anyways. After all, whoever he was, he was Stan's friend, and he wouldn't do anything unpredictable. Well, in the case of a certain super best friend, Stan did hope he would do something unpredictably good, but he didn't know who the History Kenny was, so, all he was left do, was hope that that Kenny was Kyle.

After History, in an empty class room.

"Who are you," Stan asked.

"Do you really need to know?"

"YES."

"Come here," commanded the masked Kyle. Stan came closer, expecting an answer. When Kyle only loosened his hood to reveal his mouth, Stan raised an eyebrow.

Kyle couldn't talk, for Stan would know who he was, so he just came closer to Stan, and planted his lips onto Stan's. Stan wanted to react, but he had no idea who was kissing him.

What the hell, Stan thought, and kissed the unknown Kenny back. They did just that for about a a minute, and it ended when Kyle suddenly broke the kiss off, by running out of the History classroom, in fear of his identity being discovered. Stan was left in the History class, wondering what the hell had just happened.

At lunch, where the Kennys received a lot of weird looks, and some happy faces

Kenny and, well….Kenny both got the same meal and sat down to eat. Kyle had told Kenny what happened in History, and warned him not to give off his identity. Kenny laughed.

"Shut up!" Kyle glared.

Stan came to the table, looking happy as ever, and also deep in thought.

"What's up man?" Kenny asked.

"One of you has been fucking with me!" Stan growled.
Kenny, and the new Kenny laughed, having the same perverted humor for the day. Kenny laughed even more, after learning what had happened in the class, and discreetly kicked Kyle. Kyle responded in kicking him back, hard.

"You wish Stan," Kenny snickered.

"Okay, you know what I mean,"

"I'm not sure we do Stanly," Kyle responded.

"I THINK YOU DO!"

Kenny and Kyle gasped and both faked being hurt.

"Dude, this is freaking me out," Stan informed the Kennys seriously.

"Yeah, whatever dude," Kenny pushed aside, "where's fatass?"

"He got suspended, again"

"For what?"

"Craig flipped him off and called him a fatass, Fatass got angry and threw a rock at Craig, Tweek got pissed and pushed Fatass, Cartman threw a rock at Tweek, Tweek and Craig jumped on Fatass and started punching the hell out of him," Stan replied nonchalantly. Everyone knew Tweek liked Craig except for Craig himself, and vice versa.

"Shouldn't Craig and Tweek be suspended then?" Kyle (or maybe Kenny) asked.

"Yes, but Cartman called Mr. Garrison a "fucking fag", so he got suspended," Stan said.

"Oh." Kenny (possibly Kyle) responded.

-silence-

"Which one of you kissed me after H. Class?" On plan, Kenny and Kenny both responded by spitting out their drinks in disbelief, with the liquid landing on Stan's tray.

"Oh gross." Stan made a noise of disgust and went to throw his food away. As he did that, Stan tried to think of anything that would give the kisser off.

'oh god, I think I'm turning into a Hardly Boy! My clues are a lot bigger now though, ahaha…wait, no. Can't think those kinds of thoughts. There are already two Kennys. There is no need for another perverted kid!' Then he remembered. He now knew how to find out who he kissed.

"Kyle, any way that he can figure out that you did what you did?" Kenny inquired.

"No, only the fact that---oh shit!" Kyle swore.

"What?"

"He ripped my hood!"

"Aw shit dude!"

"Rip your hood too!" Kenny took off his hood for a split second, but that split second was all that it took to give him away. Stan was coming back from his table and saw Kenny take his hood off. It was too late to rip his hood now. All Kyle could do was take his hood off too, so Stan didn't see the tear.

"DAMMIT," Stan banged his head against the table. The super best friend of Kyle's swore under his breath as he banged his head against the table.

"I feel bad for him, Kyle whispered to Kenny.

"I know,"

Stan finally lifted his head up and looked at Kyle.

"Your hair…?"

"Shut up."

End of day, after getting hit on by several girls, and guys

"Kenny, I'll return your clothes back to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay Kyle. Anytime you want. I always like company over at my place," Kenny smirked, getting closer to his look alike.

"Ah. Mhmm. Like this morning?" Kyle grinned, out of the corner of his eye he could see a glint in Stan's eyes that looked like jealousy. Stan made two fists, and was trying to calm down, and Kenny silent laughed.

"You know it," Kenny came in closer, and kissed Kyle softly. Kyle was quite surprised, but he knew why he was doing it. Good ol' Kenny. It was becoming difficult for both Kennys to hold a straight face. Now, Stan was really pissed.

"STOP IT!" Stan shrilled.

"What Stan," Kenny asked, stressing his name out.

"In public? Are you guys serious?" The envious friend attempted to cover up his jealousy.

"He's right sweetie, we should do this at my house," Kyle was about to kiss Kenny, when Stan had a sudden urge to push Kenny out of the way, and kiss Kyle like hell, for all of South Park to see.

Which is, of course, exactly how this story ends.

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Seems childish, eh?

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Remember,

Every review that you give is another day Kenny gets to live.

And OF COURSE I am not threatening Kenny's life. Death is though. That was part of Kenny's bargain.