Written for the hp_random_facts, Round Seven fest on LJ.
Disclaimer: It's all JKR's (and in this case, Warner Bros.', too). I just borrowed their toys for a while.
Words: 1352
Canon: Movie (DH 1 & 2)
Pairing: one-sided Scabior/Hermione
Author's Note: Scabior isn't a woobie, he's an amoral creep with an obsession. So this
fic is rather dark, therefore rated M, but without graphic details.
The character's first name is a handwave to the actor Nick Moran, who was so
gleefully hamming it up in the movies, he made me like the guy.
20 Random Facts about Scabior
1. The Scabiors are as old a family as the Malfoys. They've lived for centuries in the
same hovel near the coast of Kent, making a living by beachcombing and wrecking.
The main difference is that the Malfoys claim to be related to Salazar Slytherin and the
Peverells, while the Scabiors can't deny they're related to the Fletchers across the
river.
2. Gran Scabior still knows how to sing ships onto the Godwin Sands.
Her grandson Nicodemus doesn't: it's bloody hard to do, and those softies at the
Ministry have come to see it as a breach of the Statute of Secrecy.
So what? Those ships do it well enough on their own accord, and "Accio flotsam!"
works just fine.
You can also get fish and oysters that way, and sell what you don't need for yourself
to Wizards and Muggles alike. Those oyster farms are a godsend, as long as you don't
get too greedy.
3. Nick Scabior speaks a bit of basic Mermish: "Don't hurt me!", "Please, help me!",
"Wanna trade?", some cuss words, numbers – things like that.
4. The Scabiors are among the very few Wizard families in Britain who don't have an
open fireplace. A stove keeps you warm, too, without giving the coppers easy access to
your living room.
Apparition and the Knight Bus are all you need for travelling; and for business Scabior
uses the Floo in the backroom of this one wizard pub in Canterbury. Or the one in
Mundungus Fletcher's house.
5. Nick's a pureblood, not that he gives a toss: the way he sees it, all those toffs from
the posh Old Families talk about "pureblood unity" as long as they need you to do
their dirty work for them, and treat you worse than any mudblood when they don't.
They can all kiss his arse.
Some actually did, and paid good money for it, back when he was a regular in
Knockturn Alley as a lad.
Easy way to make a galleon.
6. The Hat thought Nick was "daring", so he was sorted into Gryffindor.
(No, really! It wasn't exactly Advanced Alchemy to figure out where the Slytherin
common room was. Besides, the Snatchers were shown pictures of all four Houses
before they were sent out.)
He followed the advice Gran gave him before he boarded the train - "Keep your eyes
and ears open and your head down. Say 'yes, professor', and do your own thing." - to
get through school without trouble.
As soon as he had the required minimum of OWLs - all As -, he left.
7. The best thing about Hogwarts was the Black Lake, where you could have fun
bothering the Giant Squid, jabbing with the Merpeople, or spying on the 7th year girls
going skinny-dipping.
8. McGonagall didn't really like Nick, but she only gave him a bit of grief once, when
he'd had to teach that uppity firstie Percy Weasley some manners.
Years later, You-know-who's ugly valet (or whatever he was) told him the little twerp
had named his pet rat after Nick in revenge. What a clown.
9. Nick has done business with Mundungus Fletcher for years: Nick procured the
goods, Dung sold them. The one time they swapped places it ended badly: Nick got 9
months for hawking those blasted cauldrons of Dung's.
It's a bad place, Azkaban.
Fortunately, he only had to do eight weeks. After that, the Death Eaters freed their
mates and let the rest of them go as well. And Nick was even offered a steady job.
He does have the Luck of the Gryffs, obviously.
10. Nick taught Fenrir Greyback how to play poker, and won about half of the
werewolf's pay. He didn't even have to cheat.
11. The rest of his crew didn't really believe the Girl-who-smelt-good had been there,
but Nick was always sure she was. Almost every night he wondered if she could see
him (she could), and if she was pretty (she was).
He used to dream of her, and he liked to imagine how she dreamt of him, too: not only
the scary kind of dreams that make you wake up - him carrying her off to the Ministry
or some such -, but, at least some of the time, of them … doing more exciting things.
(She did.)
12. When he found the scarf, he recognized her scent at once.
He put a Preserving charm on it and wore it all the time, day and night. It became his
Good Luck Charm.
13. It wasn't hard to convince the others to check the place once a week – the scarf
was a sign, after all.
In the end, he got lucky: she was even more beautiful than he'd hoped, and he learned
her name.
So what if she escaped? That crazy bint Bellatrix would just have wasted her, in more
sense than one.
14. When the bridge collapsed under them, Nick thought he was done for.
But when you've been scrambling over cliffs since you learned to walk, casting a
Cushioning charm becomes instinct.
And knowing the Merpeople of the Lake finally paid off: they were curious, and either
didn't realize which side Nick had been on or didn't care – they helped him to the
shore.
Long-distance apparition after losing quite a bit of blood was a risk, but he only
splinched half a finger.
The real miracle was Gran actually opening the door when Nick lay in her cabbage
patch, moaning.
15. Gran's good with healing spells and home-made potions; it took Nick just two
months to recover, hidden in the attic.
There isn't much he remembers from the first weeks – mostly how cool his Good Luck
Charm felt against his skin, just like Girl-who-smells-good, when she came to him. (Of
course he knows she wasn't really there, but she felt so real, alright?)
16. The Aurors haven't come looking for Nick yet.
He doesn't worry too much: he never took the Mark; he was legally employed by the
Ministry; Greyback is dead, as are almost all who were in Nick's crew. Hell, seems he
is considered dead, too, by most. And good luck with finding other witnesses.
As for Girl-who-smells-good (who turned out to be Famous Hermione Granger), he
didn't DO anything to her, did he?
17. It's funny: Old Mundungus fought on the winning side, you could even say he
played the hero; and all he got out of it was people calling him names. Makes you
wonder what Dumbledore had on him.
While Nick was with the losers, but came back with a nice stash of galleons (buried in
several places), and is left alone.
But he's learned an important lesson: whoever asks Nick to
do something for the Greater Good is just given the finger from now on, no matter which side they're on.
18. He still steers clear of Diagon Alley; so, a few days before Christmas, Nick was
mingling with the Muggle crowds in Oxford Street, looking for opportunities.
That's when he saw her again.
She recognized him, too, but she didn't reach for her wand. She just stopped dead in
her tracks, almost dropping some of the parcels she was carrying, and went as white as
sea foam.
Nick needed a minute to come to his senses, too, before he ducked into the next alley
and disapparated.
19. But still no Aurors, no "Wanted for questioning" in the "Prophet". Hmm…
Nick's sure she asks herself what he would have done with her, had Bellatrix not taken
her away from him.
Oh, how he'd love to give her a demonstration, all night long. He likes to imagine how
he'd become her Dirty Little Secret, how she'd come back for more again and again,
even if she hated herself for it… (And yes, Dirty Secrets may become reliable sources
of income, but this is not about business at all!)
It couldn't be too hard to find out where she lives now…
But there's daring, and there's foolishness...
Still, Nick's dying to know if she dreams of him THAT way.
20. She does.