A/N: I redid this chapter, as I am the whole story. It has the same stpryline but I'm adding in details and proofreading.
CHAPTER ONE:
She hadn't seen or heard from him in twelve years. She hadn't laughed or been truly happy in those years either. She had been completely miserable for twelve years. She just went through the motions of life. Each day was harder than the last.
For the first time in years the Jedi had actual business in Naboo. Would he be there with them? What were they doing here in Naboo?
Padme was a part of the council that was meeting with them. She had to. She was the Senator. It was a less important title than being the queen had been, but it was practically the most she could deal with.
She was walking in the gardens when she saw him. He was sitting there just meditating. His eyes were closed and he looked completely relaxed.
Padme smiled. At least this time he hadn't changed. He was just the way she remembered him. He didn't open his eyes, which meant that their connection was gone. That made Padme sad. At one time he had always knew when she was within three feet of him. Just as she was finishing that thought his eyes flew open and gazed at her.
They stared at one another for a moment. Neither knew what to say to the other. For once they were at a complete lost for words.
Then she saw him get up. He walked away slowly and purposely. He didn't run and he didn't take his time.
"Where are you going Anakin," asked Padme.
"I am needed Inside. Master Kenobi has just contacted me through the force. He would like to have a word with me."
"Fine then, Anakin."
It was the way that she said it that made him turn around to look at her. The way she had said it had been cold and angry, almost hurt.
"What is it Padme," asked Anakin almost detached.
Padme fought her own tears. She would not cry in front of him. She refused to let him see her weak side. She'd be damned before showing it to him.
"What happened to you Anakin? This isn't you. You've changed so much that I can't even recognize you," complained Padme.
"I suppose that is what age does to you. I'm a Jedi knight now and proud of it," said Anakin.
"Ofcourse you are."
"I don't have the time for distractions," said Anakin.
"A distraction? What we had was never a distraction. Anakin, I was in love with you," said Padme.
"Well, you sure had a interesting way of showing it. Oh well, that was the past. I was young back then. I let myself fall the first pretty girl I saw. I let my emotions get the best of me. That was the old me. I've grown up now,"said Anakin.
Padme tried to hide her hurt but she knew that most likely Anakin would sense it. She had never felt this angry with him. She also felt completely in love with him.
Anakin tried to controle his emotions as hers washed over him. He felt her pain and love. His words had truly cut her. He almost felt horrible about himself.
"You haven't grown that much Anakin. I'm not fooled by your demeaner. I know you're still in love with me. If you can stand here and deny that you're not half the man you were the last time we said our good-byes. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me like I love you," said Padme.
It would be so easy to grab her and kiss her with all the pent up passion inside of him for her. It would be much simpler to tell her how much he did love her but he just couldn't. He had a duty to the Jedi. And she had a duty to the Senate. They had chosen their paths years ago. They had chosen their professions over love. They couldn't go back now. It really didn't matter how much they both wanted to.
"I'm not doing this. It's too late." he said.
"Anakin, wait,"said Padme.
"No, we made our decision years ago. Well, actually you made it for us, but that's rather irelevent now. We are not going to get tangled into that web again. We only get hurt by it," said Anakin.
"You aren't answering my question. Do you love me?"
Anakin forced himself to look in her eyes. How he wanted to look away. How could he look into those eyes and lie. As he spoke to her he reminded himself that he was doing it not only for his sake, but hers as well.
"Not anymore. Things have changed now. I have chahged," said Anakin.
*************
He then walked off, away from her. He couldn't manage to stand in fron of her for one more moment. He wondered how he had done that. How had he been able to lie to her? He did it to protect the both of them and their feelings. Why didn't he feel any better about what he had done? He had done the right thing.
He went to one of the many conference room where he found his old master sitting, waiting for him. He took a chair across from the older man.
"What took you so long, Anakin," asked Obi-Wan with a skeptical gaze.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I was meditating in the gardens when Senator Amidala found me and wished to have a word with me. I didn't want to be rude by cutting her off. I came as soon as I could."
Obi-Wan still stared at him skeptically. Sometimes he did not understand or recognize the young man in front of him. Thirteen years ago after they returned from Naboo after escorting Senator Amidala home he was dedicated. It had been what Obi-Wan had desired for hom for years, but when it came he wasn't so sure it was for the best. He never laughed, never smiled was always respectful and rather quiet.
"I see. Is she alright," asked Obi-Wan.
"I'm sure she'll be fine."
"That's good news. I wanted to discuss with you the reason why we came to Naboo in the first place."
"Yes, I had a feeling that was what you wanted to talk about. Do you have an idea on how long we will be here."
"Not long. But I am here to inform you it will be longer than expected."
"I see. Well, why don't we discuss this after dinner? I am rather tired, seeing we just got here a couple hours ago."
"Alright. I will talk with you later, Anakin."
Obi-Wan watched the young man leave the room. He always thought the day Anakin was ready to be a jedi he would be happy to have him off his hands, but he was wrong. Somehow even after he became a Jedi they remained partners. But now, fights never occured between them.
In the short time anakin had been in Naboo he had grown up too fast, to the point at times he didn't even recognize him. He had always wondered what exactly had transpired on Naboo. He had never asked anakin, though. He knew whatever had happened to him might have been painful, and clearly life changing.
Before Anakin had become a Jedi Knight he never realized just how much Anakin occupied his time. He was always lecturing him, condeming him, telling him how he could better improve himself and at least a dozen other things. He never thought that he might miss that.
He had thought of taking another padawan on, but he never had. They may not be as much work as Anakin had been, so he did the next best thing. He asked Anakin to be his partner. He had half expected him to say no, and was nearly surprised when anakin firmly shook his hand saying that he'd be honored.
Obi-Wan remained in his conferance chair. There was need to get up. He had no where to be. Even though he was a Jedi and there was much work to be done he found himself at times bored and listless.
************************
Padme numbly sat on the garden bench that Anakin had occupied before she came to speak with him. She didn't notice anything that surrounded her. Her body was in a daze. She had a shocked expression on her face.
"He doesn't love me," she whispered to herself over and over again.
How could this be happening to her? Why was the one thing that kept her going all these years now gone? The thought that he loved her was what still kept her breathing. Now that she had lost that she didn't know what to do with herself.
She was crying, yet she didn't even know it. She was out of touch with reality. she knew nothing but that her heart ached. She knew that the pain wasn't going to go away either.
********
It was dinner at the Naboo mansion. Everyone was eating gaily except Anakin. He had too much on his mind. He looked around the table to see that Padme wasn't there. He turned to Sabe whom was serving dinner that evening.
"Where is Padme?"
Her concern mirrored his. Where was her mistress? She had said she was going out to the gardens for fresh air, but she had never come back. She couldn't still be out there, not with this rain.
"Sir, I know this is going to sound rather odd but I don't know where my mistresss is. She wasn't in her room when I looked for her. I supposed she had come down to dinner early. After accepting that idea as truth I went back to my work," said Sabe sadly.
"Did you look in the gardens," asked Anakin.
Sabe looked at him as if he had lost his mind as she looked at the window.
"Jedi Master, she went out there earlier, but I know she has come back. It is pouring. Lightning is about to strike. She has a good head on her shoulders. Believe me, she's not out there sitting and reading a book," said Sabe sarcastically.
She looked up at Anakin realizing she may have been a bit out of line. She almost appologized for her behavior, but judging by the look on his face he wouldn't have heard her. She watched as Anakin quickly got up. He really didn't give a damn if anyone wondered where he was going. He had to find Padme. He had a pretty good idea as to where she would most likely be.
**************************
Anakin's heart stopped as he saw her in the same place where he had left her. She looked half dead. Her hair was drenched. Her close were soaked through. She looked so cold. She just looked forward not even noticing he was even there, right in front of him.
It scared him. He had never seen her like this. What if she died because of him?
"Let's get you inside," he said more to himself than to her seeing as she didn't hear him.
She didn't so much as look up at him. She just looked forward with a dull expression on her face.
He picked her up meeting no resistance. He didn't notice as he cradled her against him how wet he was getting. And if he had noticed he wouldn't have cared.
As he carried her inside water fell on the floor in piles. Anakin ignored that thought as he carried her into the dining room.
"I need a doctor. Someone get a doctor here quick. She has a very high fever and I think she's dieing," said Anakin.
Where they were eating there was a couch. Anakin placed her on that couch.
He watched as she fell into a restless sleep.
He didn't noticed the people around them. If he had noticed he still wouldn't have backed away.
"You got to be okay Padme. You can't die. I won't let you."
TBC
CHAPTER ONE:
She hadn't seen or heard from him in twelve years. She hadn't laughed or been truly happy in those years either. She had been completely miserable for twelve years. She just went through the motions of life. Each day was harder than the last.
For the first time in years the Jedi had actual business in Naboo. Would he be there with them? What were they doing here in Naboo?
Padme was a part of the council that was meeting with them. She had to. She was the Senator. It was a less important title than being the queen had been, but it was practically the most she could deal with.
She was walking in the gardens when she saw him. He was sitting there just meditating. His eyes were closed and he looked completely relaxed.
Padme smiled. At least this time he hadn't changed. He was just the way she remembered him. He didn't open his eyes, which meant that their connection was gone. That made Padme sad. At one time he had always knew when she was within three feet of him. Just as she was finishing that thought his eyes flew open and gazed at her.
They stared at one another for a moment. Neither knew what to say to the other. For once they were at a complete lost for words.
Then she saw him get up. He walked away slowly and purposely. He didn't run and he didn't take his time.
"Where are you going Anakin," asked Padme.
"I am needed Inside. Master Kenobi has just contacted me through the force. He would like to have a word with me."
"Fine then, Anakin."
It was the way that she said it that made him turn around to look at her. The way she had said it had been cold and angry, almost hurt.
"What is it Padme," asked Anakin almost detached.
Padme fought her own tears. She would not cry in front of him. She refused to let him see her weak side. She'd be damned before showing it to him.
"What happened to you Anakin? This isn't you. You've changed so much that I can't even recognize you," complained Padme.
"I suppose that is what age does to you. I'm a Jedi knight now and proud of it," said Anakin.
"Ofcourse you are."
"I don't have the time for distractions," said Anakin.
"A distraction? What we had was never a distraction. Anakin, I was in love with you," said Padme.
"Well, you sure had a interesting way of showing it. Oh well, that was the past. I was young back then. I let myself fall the first pretty girl I saw. I let my emotions get the best of me. That was the old me. I've grown up now,"said Anakin.
Padme tried to hide her hurt but she knew that most likely Anakin would sense it. She had never felt this angry with him. She also felt completely in love with him.
Anakin tried to controle his emotions as hers washed over him. He felt her pain and love. His words had truly cut her. He almost felt horrible about himself.
"You haven't grown that much Anakin. I'm not fooled by your demeaner. I know you're still in love with me. If you can stand here and deny that you're not half the man you were the last time we said our good-byes. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me like I love you," said Padme.
It would be so easy to grab her and kiss her with all the pent up passion inside of him for her. It would be much simpler to tell her how much he did love her but he just couldn't. He had a duty to the Jedi. And she had a duty to the Senate. They had chosen their paths years ago. They had chosen their professions over love. They couldn't go back now. It really didn't matter how much they both wanted to.
"I'm not doing this. It's too late." he said.
"Anakin, wait,"said Padme.
"No, we made our decision years ago. Well, actually you made it for us, but that's rather irelevent now. We are not going to get tangled into that web again. We only get hurt by it," said Anakin.
"You aren't answering my question. Do you love me?"
Anakin forced himself to look in her eyes. How he wanted to look away. How could he look into those eyes and lie. As he spoke to her he reminded himself that he was doing it not only for his sake, but hers as well.
"Not anymore. Things have changed now. I have chahged," said Anakin.
*************
He then walked off, away from her. He couldn't manage to stand in fron of her for one more moment. He wondered how he had done that. How had he been able to lie to her? He did it to protect the both of them and their feelings. Why didn't he feel any better about what he had done? He had done the right thing.
He went to one of the many conference room where he found his old master sitting, waiting for him. He took a chair across from the older man.
"What took you so long, Anakin," asked Obi-Wan with a skeptical gaze.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I was meditating in the gardens when Senator Amidala found me and wished to have a word with me. I didn't want to be rude by cutting her off. I came as soon as I could."
Obi-Wan still stared at him skeptically. Sometimes he did not understand or recognize the young man in front of him. Thirteen years ago after they returned from Naboo after escorting Senator Amidala home he was dedicated. It had been what Obi-Wan had desired for hom for years, but when it came he wasn't so sure it was for the best. He never laughed, never smiled was always respectful and rather quiet.
"I see. Is she alright," asked Obi-Wan.
"I'm sure she'll be fine."
"That's good news. I wanted to discuss with you the reason why we came to Naboo in the first place."
"Yes, I had a feeling that was what you wanted to talk about. Do you have an idea on how long we will be here."
"Not long. But I am here to inform you it will be longer than expected."
"I see. Well, why don't we discuss this after dinner? I am rather tired, seeing we just got here a couple hours ago."
"Alright. I will talk with you later, Anakin."
Obi-Wan watched the young man leave the room. He always thought the day Anakin was ready to be a jedi he would be happy to have him off his hands, but he was wrong. Somehow even after he became a Jedi they remained partners. But now, fights never occured between them.
In the short time anakin had been in Naboo he had grown up too fast, to the point at times he didn't even recognize him. He had always wondered what exactly had transpired on Naboo. He had never asked anakin, though. He knew whatever had happened to him might have been painful, and clearly life changing.
Before Anakin had become a Jedi Knight he never realized just how much Anakin occupied his time. He was always lecturing him, condeming him, telling him how he could better improve himself and at least a dozen other things. He never thought that he might miss that.
He had thought of taking another padawan on, but he never had. They may not be as much work as Anakin had been, so he did the next best thing. He asked Anakin to be his partner. He had half expected him to say no, and was nearly surprised when anakin firmly shook his hand saying that he'd be honored.
Obi-Wan remained in his conferance chair. There was need to get up. He had no where to be. Even though he was a Jedi and there was much work to be done he found himself at times bored and listless.
************************
Padme numbly sat on the garden bench that Anakin had occupied before she came to speak with him. She didn't notice anything that surrounded her. Her body was in a daze. She had a shocked expression on her face.
"He doesn't love me," she whispered to herself over and over again.
How could this be happening to her? Why was the one thing that kept her going all these years now gone? The thought that he loved her was what still kept her breathing. Now that she had lost that she didn't know what to do with herself.
She was crying, yet she didn't even know it. She was out of touch with reality. she knew nothing but that her heart ached. She knew that the pain wasn't going to go away either.
********
It was dinner at the Naboo mansion. Everyone was eating gaily except Anakin. He had too much on his mind. He looked around the table to see that Padme wasn't there. He turned to Sabe whom was serving dinner that evening.
"Where is Padme?"
Her concern mirrored his. Where was her mistress? She had said she was going out to the gardens for fresh air, but she had never come back. She couldn't still be out there, not with this rain.
"Sir, I know this is going to sound rather odd but I don't know where my mistresss is. She wasn't in her room when I looked for her. I supposed she had come down to dinner early. After accepting that idea as truth I went back to my work," said Sabe sadly.
"Did you look in the gardens," asked Anakin.
Sabe looked at him as if he had lost his mind as she looked at the window.
"Jedi Master, she went out there earlier, but I know she has come back. It is pouring. Lightning is about to strike. She has a good head on her shoulders. Believe me, she's not out there sitting and reading a book," said Sabe sarcastically.
She looked up at Anakin realizing she may have been a bit out of line. She almost appologized for her behavior, but judging by the look on his face he wouldn't have heard her. She watched as Anakin quickly got up. He really didn't give a damn if anyone wondered where he was going. He had to find Padme. He had a pretty good idea as to where she would most likely be.
**************************
Anakin's heart stopped as he saw her in the same place where he had left her. She looked half dead. Her hair was drenched. Her close were soaked through. She looked so cold. She just looked forward not even noticing he was even there, right in front of him.
It scared him. He had never seen her like this. What if she died because of him?
"Let's get you inside," he said more to himself than to her seeing as she didn't hear him.
She didn't so much as look up at him. She just looked forward with a dull expression on her face.
He picked her up meeting no resistance. He didn't notice as he cradled her against him how wet he was getting. And if he had noticed he wouldn't have cared.
As he carried her inside water fell on the floor in piles. Anakin ignored that thought as he carried her into the dining room.
"I need a doctor. Someone get a doctor here quick. She has a very high fever and I think she's dieing," said Anakin.
Where they were eating there was a couch. Anakin placed her on that couch.
He watched as she fell into a restless sleep.
He didn't noticed the people around them. If he had noticed he still wouldn't have backed away.
"You got to be okay Padme. You can't die. I won't let you."
TBC