So, I wrote this back in October, 2005. It's based right after Secret, season 4. It's a one shot song fic. The song is The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, by Brand New. It's a really good song and when I first heard it I thought of Jay. So, here it goes...
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.
Jay sat in his car outside Alex's house. He found himself doing this almost every night. Tonight, he knew something was going to happen.
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.
I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.
There was a tap at Jay's car window. It was Alex. Jay pulled the key out of the ignition and got out.
"Jay, what the fuck are you doing here?" Alex screamed.
"Alex, I'm sorry."
Alex stared at him, "Sorry for cheating on me? Sorry for giving me an STD? Or are you sorry you got caught?"
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," Jay reahed out for her hand, "Lexxi..."
"No, Jay. No," tears began to form in her eyes.
Jay reached out for her again.
If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.
You can keep to yourself.
I'll keep out of your way.
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.
This time she didn't pull away. She let Jay wrap his arms around her.
He whispered in her ear, "It's ok, Alex."
As quickly as she let him comfort her, she pushed him away. "No, it'll never be ok!" My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend!"
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room,
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
So call it quits or get a grip.
Say you wanted a solution.
You just wanted to be missed.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
Jay threw his hands in the air, "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Please, I need you. What I did, sucks. It was a mistake. Just forgive me, please."
Alex stepped backwards, not sure what to say. She wiped a tear from her eye, "Fine. I forgive you."
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...
You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold.
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.
Jay stepped towards her, but she put her hand up, "I said I forgive you. I never said we were back together. You hurt me, I'll never forget that."
Jay nodded, "I understand."
Spring keeps you ever close.
You are second hand smoke.
You are so fragile and thin.
Standing trial for your sins.
Holding onto yourself the best you can.
Alex turned to walk back in to her house.
Jay watched Alex walk in to her house. He waited until he could see in her bedroom window. He turned around and got back in his car. Before he drove away, he looked back up at the window.
She had her hand on the window, watching him. She noticed him staring and their eyes locked. They both whispered "I love you." Alex pulled the curtain shut and Jay drove away.
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.