Note: This story was written along time ago when Sonny and Carly first slept together. This is my first time posting on this site. Please read and enjoy.
FORGIVENESS
Written by geniakay
Prologue
After the fallout of Sonny sleeping with Carly and Jason finding out, several situations began to unfold. Jason refuses to deal with Sonny in any shape or form. He is still nursing his wound from Moreno with the help of Liz and Bobbie.
Chapter 1
Jason's Old Room at Jake'sJason sits on the edge of the bed with a grimace on his face. Several thoughts run through his mind at once, "I've got to get out of here! I can't be caged up. I'll go crazy but I won't go back to Liz. She's my friend and has really helped me out. But it's time to get her out of this mess. It's not safe for me, and definitely not for her."
"Where will I go? I will not go to Sonny! Maybe…no, it's still too hard. I can't even look at her right now, if ever. But," he thinks with a sad smile, "she'd still help me out even now." A knock at the door shakes him out of his thoughts. He stands up with a slight twinge of pain, a reminder of his recent bout with Moreno.
He opens the door..,
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, "Maybe I shouldn't even be here," she thought. "He doesn't want me here. And I don't think I can stand to see that look of hurt, anger, and hatred for me that I see in his eyes. But I have to seem him at least one last time."
"…Carly what the hell are you doing here!?! Didn't I tell you that I didn't want to see you right now! Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you push so hard? It's always about you, isn't it? Why did I ever think that you'd change?" he sadly ended his tirade.
"I…I won't bother you anymore, Jase, but…this needed to be said." She walks through the door passed him to a corner in the room. She eyes the room, cautiously from this corner. Then a twinkle gleams in her eyes as she remembers. A small smile peeks out across her lips. Jason watches her intensely. For just an unseen, moment, his ice-blue, rock hard stare softens as he realizes, from Carly's expression, that she too valued the time they spent here together in Jake's in this room. Just as quickly as it appeared, that softness in Jason's eyes disappeared. Carly feels his stare on her. She looks up. Expecting what exactly she hopes to see, she doesn't know. But what she does know is that what she sees in Jason's eyes isn't it.
"Well just get on with it."
"Jase…Jason, I know that what I'm about to ask you is not something that you can give me right now, if ever, but I need to ask it. Uh…whatever we were to each other, whether real or imagined, said or unsaid, it was always clear that we were friends. Actually you were one of the two friends, real true friends, which I've ever had. And just like with Carly Roberts, I messed up. I messed up BIG time. Jase, well, friends forgive and accept. I already know that, like it or not, you do accept me exactly as I am…the good, the bad, and the ugly…especially the ugly," she laughs an unusually nervous throaty laugh. Jason listens and catches her tone. She looks at him intensely, pausing—getting no reaction from his stoic face, she swallows and continues on…
"I need for you to forgive me. I know I have no right to ask, but maybe one day…just maybe. Maybe even I can forgive myself. Well…Well," she stutters, "I'll be on my way. Jason, regardless of this, uh situation, always treat yourself good. Be happy, fall in love, you'll find the right one; she'll make you happy. I'm just sorry I'm not the one…" A tear falls down her cheek, " Damn," she thought, "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."
She starts for the door, as she reaches for the knob, Jason catches her wrist with is strong hands. He can fee his heart race to the same beat that pulses through the veins of her wrist. "Carly, I already thought I fell I love with the girl that could make me happy," he whispered. The look in her eyes told him that had finally hurt her like she had hurt him when he saw her bouncing down the stairs at Sonny's in only Sonny's white dress shirt. Amazingly enough, it didn't make him feel any better. Creating that look in her eyes just worsened his hurt. He went on as he let go of her wrist, "I'll try to forgive you, but I can't make any promises about things that I don't know." She nods to him understandingly.
Now they are only inches away from each other, leaning in towards one another… So close. Jason can feel her breath on his skin. So close, Carly can smell that smell of soap and leather that she knew to be Jason. So close… That maybe if their lips just touched, even briefly, forgiveness could start. At least that's what each thought simultaneously. So close!
Just then, "Carly, what are you doing here? Can't you just leave him alone. Just get out of here! Haven't you hurt him enough?" With the sudden intrusion, Carly retracted from the closeness of Jason's gaze. And he noticed…his temples started to throb in anticipation of Carly's reaction. But the typical reaction of lashing out in fierce anger to defend herself and acting before she thought was not what Jason viewed. Instead, to his amazement, he saw Carly's pained look and was unbelievably shocked when he heard Carly's hoarse whisper to Liz, "You're right, I have hurt him enough. So Liz, be his friend and take care of him. I'll, uh, I'll be on my way. And I won't bother you or Jase anymore." To Jason she said, "Jase, I'm so sorry, really I am. I'm sorry that I always mess up a good thing. And you were, besides Michael, the best thing that ever happened to me. Always remember, Michael loves you. I love you. And in my heart and Michael's and in yours, too, you'll always be his father." As she left, one lonely tear trickled down her cheek. With all the strength she could muster, she kissed Jason's lips softly, and then his cheek, hoping that it wouldn't be the last time, but somehow realizing that it probably was. She walked out of that room at Jake's brokenhearted, not even having the strength to turn back and look one last time. If she had, she would have seen a stunned Liz and a sadden Jason.