"Welcome to ECTR, Elemental Countries Talk Radio! I'm your host, the one, the only, ZenoNoKyuubi!" a six foot tall eighteen year old with a shaved head wearing a Konoha jounin outfit said sitting in a dark underground studio. "I'm coming to you live from a secret location I am afraid to reveal due to nine guys in black cloaks with little red clouds on them. Them and the IRS." he said with a grin.

"No, I'm just kidding. Though the thing about the guys in black cloaks were right, due to my status as the jinchuuriki of the ten tailed wolf, Fenrir. During my air time I will have guests here, and I don't mean just people from canon. I'm talking about OCs and authors as well! Now, to show you how it's done, please help me welcome my first guest from my 'bestselling' fic, The Gambler, Uzumaki Naruto!" Zeno said and pushed a button on his desk creating sound that sounded like a wild roar from an audience. In a poof of smoke a blond fifteen year old appeared in the studio wearing a black coat, black cargo pants and black steel toed combat boots. In his left eyebrow was a gold ring and on his chest were the four suites, spade, club, diamond and heart.

"Welcome, Naruto."

"Thanks, Z." Naruto said as he sat down.

"Um... I'm called Zeno or ZnK. Not Z."

"Fine. It's good to be here, Zeno."

"So, Naruto, how do you like the fact that a goddess has set her eyes on you?" Zeno asked getting a grin from Naruto.

"Well, what do you think? It's great and it sucks." Naruto said making Zeno raise an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's great that a goddess has set her eyes on me, especially Lady Luck, but... what if I piss her off? What will she do then?"

Zeno shuddered. "I don't even want to think about that. That will be the question this time. What do you think a goddess can do if you piss her off? Send your reviews, but for now, let's go to commercial." Zeno said and pushed a button.

Commercial!

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End commercial!

"I don't know why I let them advertise their business on this station... Oh! We're back! I'm here with Uzumaki 'The Gambler' Naruto. So, Naruto, in chapter one of The Gambler, Anko asked you if you'd ever killed before. When did you do that?"

"Well, during my training with the old man, a guy, a Konoha chunnin, decided he'd give 'kill the demon' a shot. He jumped me when I went home one night. We tussled for a while and suddenly I found that I had somehow stabbed him in the heart with one of my kunais. I can't really remember the details."

"That's alright. I just wanted to know when it happened and how in general. I don't really want to know how deep the knife went or anything. Now, in chapter one, you also thought that it was some kind of divine intervention when that deck of cards took the hit for you when you were young. Have you ever asked Lady Luck about that?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Hey! Why didn't I ever think about asking her about that?!"

"I'll take that as a no." Zeno said and started shuffling through his papers. "Now... No more questions for you..."

"Hey, Zeno. I got a question for you. Why wasn't Shukaku released when Sake smacked him over the head?"

"Well, I think that Shukaku only comes out when Gaara sleeps, not when he loses consciousness, like in Shippuuden, he gets knocked out there and the Shukaku doesn't come out." Zeno said as he searched the studio. "Now where are those papers...? Aw, screw it. We'll just cut to commercial here. Enjoy the ramblings of Jiraiya." he said and put a hand on his chin. "Now where are those damn papers...?"

Commercial!

"Guess what, boys! For this summer, we're going to... Disneyland!" came a mans voice.

The groans of two boys were heard.

"Aw, dad! Disneyland is so old! We want to go to Icha land!" said one of the boys.

"Yeah!" said the other.

"But-"

"Icha land! Icha land! Icha land!" both boys chanted in unison.

Who would ever want to go to Disneyland when they can go to Icha land? It's the theme park that's not just for kids or adults. It's for both!

"Hi! I'm Jiraiya, retired ninja and author of the bestselling Icha Icha series. You know, I made a lot of money writing these books and you people stuck with me. Now I want to give something back to you guys. So come on down to Icha land! We have fun rides and stuff for the kids and a pub and strip joint for the men. What about the women you ask? They have a chance to win the awesome award called 'Icha Icha woman of the month'! So come on down. We are located in Fire country, five miles north of Konoha."

End commercial!

"I still haven't found the papers!" Zeno shouted. "Naruto! Help me!"

Naruto sighed. "Fine..."

"More commercial!"

Commercial!

Club pink! It's the hottest gay bar in the Elemental Countries!

"Hi, I'm Orochimaru. Are you lonely and in need of companionship? Then come on down to Otogakure and enter-"

Commercial interrupted!

"Oh, hell no!" Zeno shouted as he took out the Club pink disc and torched it. Naruto just sat there with wide eyes as Zeno cleared his throat.

"Hi again! We're back! I'm sitting here with Uzumaki 'The Gambler' Naruto! Our next guest claims himself to be 'the most awesome fighter in history'... Right... Please help me welcome the captain of the eleventh squad, Zaraki Kenpachi!" he announced and pressed the 'Wild audience roar' button again.

A man with long, spiky, black hair with bells at the end of the spikes, a scarred face wearing a black kimono with a tattered white coat over it and an eyepatch walked into the studio with a bored expression on his face.

"Greetings, Zaraki-Taicho!" Zeno said with a grin as Kenpachi sat down. A grunt was all he got. Zeno sweatdropped. "Right... On to the questions! Zaraki-Taicho! Rumor has it that you're secretly in love with Unohana-Taicho! Is this true?!"

"Hey, Naruto..." Kenpachi said leaning in towards the bored looking blond. "Why does he bother asking me things when he's the one who writes our stories?" he asked and Naruto shrugged while Zeno fell of the chair with anime tears streaming down his cheeks.

"It's so that others know what to do, what's supposed to be going on here!" Zeno shouted as he got back onto his chair. "Now answer the damn question, lest I kill you off in the next chapter of 'Naruto's New Adventure!'"

Kenpachi sighed. "No. It's not true." he said as Naruto got off his chair.

"Hey, Kenpachi. You wanna go get a drink?"

"Gladly." Kenpachi said and got up. "By the way. I like those card tricks you've came up with." he said as they left the studio, leaving a sulking Zeno behind.

"I was the one who came up with the card tricks... I took it from Gambit from Xmen..." he said quietly. "Well, there's no reason to keep this up since my guests didn't want to stay here..."

"Hey!" a teenage boy with brown hair and a hyperactive posterior shouted as he entered the studio. "You still have me, the great Keigo!"

Zeno sighed. "Nobody likes you, Keigo... I can't do a show with you." he said and leaned towards the mic. "Well, if you want to be a guest, or if you want any of your characters to be a guest, or if you have an answer to todays question, just send me a PM... This is ECTR, signing off..."

Keigo just stood there with wide eyes as Zeno got off the air.

"Nobody... likes me...?"

"No." Zeno said and took out a bottle of whiskey from his vest pocket. "Now get the hell out of my studio! Our popularity is dropping by your very presence!" he said and pushed Keigo out of the studio before sitting down on his chair and staring at his whiskey. "This isn't a very good start to the show, is it, Mr Jack Daniels?"