Press Corpse
Disclaimer -- We don't own Naruto, just Kyoko and Kasai Zuki. All of this is O.O.C. so if you don't like it you can just go... not finishing that sentance... Anyway, if you do like the summary enjoy!!
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Wanted
Two roomates who don't
mind the color black.
Call:
77-666-1313
"Hmm... she looks interesting, she looks annoying!" Itachi said, pointing to the two pictures of the two girl who were looking for roommates. One picture was of a girl who was flipping off the camera. She had pitch black hair and black eyes. The other girl was smiling with her tongue sticking out and doing a peace sign. This girl had light purple hair and cerulean blue eyes. Kisame looked over his shoulder, his bookbag, over his shoulder.
"I think she looks fun!" Kisame added, pointing to the girl with purple hair. Itachi rolled his eyes. Kisame and Itachi were looking for a place to stay since they lost their jobs at a local Gothic Shop store.
"We might as well call them," Itachi said with a sigh. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number. Kisame looked at the number and clicked his tongue.
"You'd think they would have personalized the number by the whole 666 thing," Kisame said, putting his bag on his bed. They were in Kisame's mother's house until they got a new place to crash. Itachi rolled his eyes as the phone began to ring.
"Hello?" a voice answered on the other end of the phone. Itachi sighed again.
"Hey, um, I'm Itachi Uchiha and my friend and I were looking at your roommate add and we were wondering if you were still in need of one," Itachi answered.
"Oh! Thanks for calling! We still need two roommates! If you could come over later that would be wonderful! By the way I'm Kyoko, the purple haired one!" Kyoko answered. Itachi sighed again. Kisame snickered as he heard the rest of the conversation. After five minutes Itachi hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket.
"We going to check the place out?" Kisame asked, fiddling with his red tie that had a skull on it. Itachi nodded his head and headed out the door. Kisame hopped off the bed and followed his friend out the door.
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Music blared from behind the door that Itachi and Kisame stood infront of. Kisame snickered as he realized the song. Press Corpse by Anti-flag. Lovely song. Itachi sighed. Then a voice called from inside.
"THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TALK TALK ABOUT IT! THEY JUST WANNA TIPTOE WALK AROUND IT!" Itachi raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He just raised his hand and knocked on the door. Instantly a girl with long black hair in a ponytail answered the door, looking very pissed.
"What?" she asked. Her voice was the same as the one that was singing earlier.
"We're here for the apartment roommate thing..." Itachi said, getting slightly annoyed. The girl raised and eyebrow and turned around.
"KYOKO! TWO FREAKS ARE AT THE DOOR! THEY WANT TO BE ROOMMATES!" the girl yelled down the dark hallway. A figure came bounding down the hallway. It was Kyoko.
"Hello? You must be Itachi and Kisame! Come in! Kasai try not to be rude!" Kyoko said as she slapped her friend over the head. Kasai held it and glared death at Kyoko.
"Yeah well I'm Kisame and this is Itachi, Kyoko!" Kisame said pointing to first himself and then Itachi. Kyoko nodded and turned around and walked down the hallway. Kasai just stood there looking at them. Itachi walked past her but Kisame just stared.
"What's with the blue skin?" Kasai finally asked. She turned around and walked down the hallway. Kisame followed and shut the door. He looked at her neck, it had a crow tattoo or something.
"Chemical accident. What's with the crow on the neck?" Kisame asked. At the end of the hallway Kasai turned around and glared at him.
"It's a birth defect, you bitch!" Kasai said. Kisame looked at her in shock. Itachi came up behind her.
"Really?" Itachi asked, moving her hair so he could see the crow. Kasai laughed and turned to him.
"No! It's a tattoo!" Kasai answered. Kyoko laughed and lifted up one of her sleeves, showing a thick black line that had real twine stitches around it.
"I have a tattoo, too! My older brother has a lot more like them though!" Kyoko said, a stupid grin on her face.
"You're the younger sister of Kakuzu, aren't you?" Kisame asked, coming over to take a look at the surreal tattoo.
Two hours later Kisame was telling his mom the address of the apartment as he and Itachi got their things so they could move in with Kasai and Kyoko. The day had gone well. They were now living with two gothic girls in a dark environment and they didn't have to pay rent until they both got jobs (which would have to be within a month or Kasai would kick them out or kill them, which ever one she felt like doing that day). Well life had just gotten more interesting.
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"You three come here every day, every time we're on shift, and everytime you just are here to harass us!" Temari yelled at the three men, Sasori, Hiden, and Deidara. They were at the Rock&Roll Cafe in Konoha. Kasai, Kyoko and Temari all happened to work there. Poor them.
"Coquinkadinkaly!" Deidara said with a smug look on his face. Temari wanted to dump his food into his lap. Sasori sat in the corner, messing with the chains on his black leather Tripp jacket. Konoha seems to be goth central, Temari thought happily, being a goth herself.
"That's his word of the day if you didn't know Blondie!" Hidan said smugly. Temari scowled at Hiden for using her work nickname. Every worker at the Rock&Roll Cafe had to have a nickname. Kyoko's was Bloody Mary, Kasai's was Crow, and unfortunatly Temari's was Blondie. Hiden smirked and began to take a sip of his coffee. Temari used her tray to tip it upwards so it would spill all over him.
"Oopsies!" Temari said in a fake cute voice. She walked away with a smirk on her lips. Hiden scowled and began cussing as Sasori and Deidara rolled in laughter.
"Did you get 'em?" Kyoko asked, walking to Temari, her electronic orderpad in hand.
"Yep! Spilt Hiden's coffee all over him!" Temari said triumphantly. Kyoko laughed.
"Good thing Deidara orders his burgers plain! Or he'd ruin his shirt!" Kyoko remarked, laughing. Kyoko always laughed. Kasai walked over to them, empty tray in hand, an angry look in her eyes.
"What crawled up your butt and bit it?" Kyoko asked, indicating the fowl mood. Kasai glared back at table 7, the table that the three annoying boys always sat at.
"One, which ever one of you spilled Hiden's drink, DAMN YOU! Cause now I have to get him a new one! He's uber picky! And two, Deidara was staring at my boobs again!" Kasai practically yelled. Kyoko laughed.
"You know that's sexual harrassment," Temari told Kasai, who was fuming. She nodded and growled under her breath. Yep, Kasai was definately Temari's cousin. Kasai sighed and walked off.
"Hey, Kasai, I'm going on break! Tell Lady Tsunade that I'm going on okay? Zetsu just called and he wants to hangout! Later!" Kyoko yelled to Kasai as she put her uniform of blue jeans and black T-shirt with the cafe logo and her nickname on it on its rack. Then she burst out the door in her usual outfit of black Tripps, a red tank top that read: I'm not insane, I'm just a genius with a headache, and black combat boots. Kyoko ran out of the door and to the parking lot. Kasai sighed and went to table 8.
"Hey, Baby! Miss me?" Naruto asked, his head resting on his hands. Neji, Kasai's best friend, laughed. Kankuro snorted and leaned back against the booth. Oh great, Kasai thought, I have them!
"What do you want?" Kasai asked. Shikamaru pointed to a picture on the menu and Kasai wrote down what it was, a chicken burger. Lazy ass, Kasai thought, can't even tell me what he wants!
"Babe, I would like my usual, with a side of you!" Naruto said, flirtingly. Kasai slapped the back of his head. He laughed and looked at her.
"Hey, Naruto, I'm up here!" Kasai said, her pen rotating around her face. He was staring at her boobs. Neji slapped Naruto and glared at him. Kankuro looked around then at Kasai.
"Hey, where's Kyoko?" Kankuro asked. Kasai smirked.
"With Zetsu," She said happily. Kankuro's face darkened and glared out the window. Zetsu was Kyoko's best friend, she convinced him to get rid of the large flytrap necklace hat thing and just go with out it. He didn't look like a geek so much now. Out the window was Zetsu and Kyoko. His skin was half black, half white because a chemical accident. Probably the same one Kisame was in.
"Don't worry Kankuro! She said she wouldn't go out with him!" Kasai said with a smile, "But I never said he wouldn't go out with her!"
"Hey, sweet thang! I would like my drink!" Deidara called from table 7. Naruto turned around and glared at him.
"She's mine Deidara!" Naruto yelled at him.
"I don't see a ring on her hand!" Deidara called back.
"Well I don't see you makin her laugh!" Naruto said.
"I don't laugh around either of you..." Kasai said, but they ignored her.
"Ya know, Ka, this reminds of when we were running from the cops and you tripped and you blamed me and we started fighting while we were running and then I ran into a tree!" Neji told Kasai. She laughed. Naruto and Deidara glared at him. Damn him, they thought.
"Anyway I gotta go. My shifts over!" Kasai laughed looking at her watch. Neji rolled his eyes. Kankuro, Hiden, Shikamaru, Naruto, Deidara, and Sasori groaned. Now they would never get their food!
"Hey, Kasai, could you give me a lift?" Temari asked, coming up behind her. She was out of her uniform and was wearing a long black skirt and a tank top that read: I'm not a loud-mouth. I'm the distraction for the shy one. It was a bit weird to say the least.
"Yea, got it. Hey Kankuro you comin'?" Kasai asked, looking at Temari's older brother and her cousin. He nodded his head and scooted out of the booth to follow them.
"Hold on out in the Hummer. Temari, watch him so he doesn't kill Zetsu. I gotta go get changed," Kasai said, already taking off her apron. Naruto nearly sprang outta the seat, if Shikamaru wasn't holding his shoulder.
"I'll come with ya, sweet cheeks!" Naruto said again, this time Neji punched his arm. Really hard.
"Stop being a pervert, Naruto!" Neji ordered. Naruto whimpered and curled up in mock sadness. Kasai sighed and walked off. She came back a few minutes later to see table 7 empty. Good, she thought, walking out of the cafe. The wind kicked up her skirt, so she had to hold it down. She was wearing a green and pink plaid miniskirt, tall knee high socks, black boots, and a black tank top that read: bad kitty, it was a cobweb cross that had a cat in the center and the number 13 on it.
Temari and Kankuro were bickering in the hummer, Kankuro kept pointing to were Kyoko and Zetsu were, before they drove off in Zetsu's car. Joy. This would be a long drive.
After dropping them off, Kasai realized she needed some personal time. She headed to her apartment, plans on how to relax forming in her head.
A/N: Hey everyone! It's us! Hellbat and Psycho! We're sisters writing this story so thanks for reading chapter one! In the next chapter is going to be all about Temari and her personal time, Kasai and her time with Itachi (no, we aren't pairing them!), and Kyoko and her time with Zetsu (who has a major crush on Kyoko!).
Okay so as you already may know, Kakuzu and Kyoko are related. Kakuzu happens to be her older brother. It's our story so deal with it. Kasai is the Sand Siblings cousin as well. Oh in case you're wondering, this story takes place in modern time, and none of them are ninjas. Why Zetsu, Kisame, and Tobi (he appears next chapter) have weird skin colors will be explained next chapter! Oh and one more thing, they all are goths! If you want an idea of what they look like, go to and search 'Spader7' and click on the ID thing then go to Browse Gallery you'll need to look for Street Fashion Naruto -Guys/Girls/Akatsuki. We don't own those pictures so if you are Spader7 please yell at us and let us know if you think it's okay for us to use your pictures for inspiraion,okay? Not all outfits are the same. We will not show you what Kyoko and Kasai Zuki look like so use your imagination! Well enjoy chapter 2 when it comes out!
Naruto - Please Review! Now can I please have a date with Kasai::puppy dog eyes::
Hellbat - NO!!
Psycho -- Must resist puppy eyes!!