I couldn't stand listening to him bitch about me and about how little I meant to him. So I kissed him, hard, just to shut him up. I opened my mouth up to his prying tongue and moaned at his taste. He always tasted the same, like the whiskey he always drank. I grasped the back of his head pulling him closer to me. All I got in response was a grunt and him pulling at my suit jacket. Soon I had his shirt over his head and pants unbuckled, all my clothes had already been pulled off by his frenzied hands. My panties were ripped in two and I took off my bra to save it from the same fate.
"Wesley too many clothes!" I moaned out in frustration, I needed more contact with his body.
Wesley pulled the rest of his clothes off and yanked me up, dragging me by my hand to the bedroom. We never 'made love' we only had rough, hard and fast make up sex. Our relationship wasn't a relationship per say, we just used each other to get what we wanted and along the way I just happened to fall in love.
I gave a grunt of pain when my back hit the wall next to the door, before I could complain the door was opened and I was pushed toward the bed. Wesley was on top of me and pushed himself in, I wasn't as ready as I could have been but I took the little bit of pain that came before the pleasure. Wesley moaned low under his breath and started an unforgivable rhythm. More times than not the pleasure of having sex with Wesley cancelled out the actually pain that came with it, but other times I didn't feel any pleasure just the pain. Sometimes I would wake to find myself alone in bed with bruises along my body and bleeding from unmentionable places. I ignored all that because I loved him with all my being.
I felt his hands wrap around my neck and I knew he was close to his climax. Wesley liked to choke me because he liked knowing that he held my life in his hands and it made him feel powerful. I hated it because sometimes he wouldn't stop until I passed out from oxygen loss. His grip tightened on my neck and the force behind his thrusts got harder and faster. I could feel myself tearing and I almost couldn't stop the tears from forming, but I did because I would do anything for Wesley.
My vision started to blur together and I knew I would be encased in blackness before Wesley came. I was almost grateful that we were at my apartment because when I would wake in the morning he wouldn't be there. Then again I would have loved to wake up to the unadulterated smell of Wesley and lay in his arms pretending to sleep. That's just a fairy tale though because no matter how hard I tried it never happened. If I did fall asleep at his place he would sleep on the couch until I left.
As my vision faded out I heard him shout out Fred's name and not mine. It never was my name he shouted when he climaxed it was always hers. I always did wonder though, if Fred knew what Wesley was really like, if she knew about all his dark desires and evil ways. But I knew she didn't and she never would know because she was worth having to hide the real him, but I wasn't. I meant nothing to him.