Shattered Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (KJV)

Hebrews 11:1

Disclaimers-there are many, many things I don't own, including Marvels Agents of SHIELD, the movie Bull Durham or the King James Bible.

When May was sure Coulson was indeed alive and in fairly good shape considering, she went out to help secure the scene with Ward. She left Sky with Coulson, not that she would have been able to tear the young hacker away from him if she tried. Phil did nod a little in response when May told him she was going out to check on things and would be right back. She smiled, patted his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before turning to leave.

"Can you send Jemma in?" he asked quietly as May moved towards the door. She just nodded and turned towards the front door.

Phil was still on the stretcher but he had managed to sit up. He was staring at his shoes, not saying much of anything. Sky was at a loss as to what to do so she hopped up and just sat next to him.

Before Simmons could arrive, Phil suddenly muttered as he slid off the stretcher. "I need some air." He staggered out into the hall, heading for the door. It took a few seconds for Sky to realize what was happening and to follow him. He stumbled out the front door and down the steps. He sat down on the ground leaning back against a crooked fence post. The breeze felt good on his face and he just tried to concentrate on breathing deeply. As hard as he tried, it just wasn't working. He wrapped his arms around himself, shaking despite the warmth of the sun.

Sky stayed on the front porch, getting the sense that he needed a minute alone.

Simmons came around the corner of the building and looked at Sky, who just pointed in the direction of where Phil was sitting. Jemma half walked/half ran towards him.

"Agent Coulson…sir," Jemma said quietly as she crouched down next to him placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Phil," he absently corrected without looking in her direction.

"Ok, Phil," Jemma said with a small laugh. "What can I do for you?" she asked. Out in the middle of the desert she felt pretty helpless. She took a cursory look at him and wasn't real happy with what she saw. His face was pretty beat up. Although she didn't see any active bleeding, she wanted to be able to clean him up as soon as possible.

"I don't know. I can't think. I'm cold," he whispered as he shivered a little despite being out in the sun, which was just beginning to set. He looked up at Simmons and unsuccessfully tried to give her a smile. Instead the tears started. He let them just stream down his face, not bothering to even try and wipe them away. That made tears well up in Jemma's eyes too. She sat down on the ground and put her arm around him, pulling him close. She pressed her hand to his cheek, not surprised to find he was pretty warm. She added fever to the list of things she needed to address in the comfort of the plane. Jemma heard footsteps to her left and turned to see Sky walking towards her with a blanket she'd grabbed out of their vehicle.

"Sit up a little," Jemma said as she took the blanket from Sky and wrapped it around him. Phil pulled his knees up and dropped his head down. "See if you can find some water," she said to Sky as she moved to kneel in front of Phil to see if he would let her get a good look at him. "Can you tip your head up a little?" Jemma asked quietly.

Phi did as he was asked. There was dried blood under his nose and around his right eye but as she noted earlier, he didn't seem to be actively bleeding. Sky appeared with a bottle of water and a towel she found in the car. She knelt down on Phil's other side and held his hands still while Jemma did what she could to wipe the blood away and get a quick look at his injuries. Without instruments and supplies there wasn't much she could do where she was. The fact that he was responding and was basically coherent made her feel slightly better but she wasn't going to be happy until she was on the BUS with everything she needed to do a proper examination.

"See if you can drink a little," Jemma suggested as she handed him the water bottle. Phil drank a little and handed the bottle back.

"They gave me water," he said quietly, assuring Jemma that she didn't need to add "dehydration" to his growing list of things which needed attention…soon.

Ward, May and Fitz appeared a few minutes later, having secured the scene.

"So, shall we make our way back to the plane? I can't very well do anything out here in the middle of nowhere," Jemma said as she stood up. All could hear the growing frustration in her voice.

"Yeah, we're done here," May said as she held out her hand to help Phil to his feet. He got up and just stood still for a few seconds, getting his bearings before he started to walk towards the SUV. Jemma walked next to him while Sky ran back into the building to just take a quick look to see if she could find his suit jacket and anything else he might have left behind.

Phil carefully climbed in behind the driver's seat with Jemma sliding in next to him. After some debating over who was going to drive, Ward got behind the wheel and May took the passenger's seat. Fitz and Sky climbed in and they set off.

Nobody said a word. All were filled with questions for their leader, but no one was brave enough to ask anything. Ten minutes into the silent ride, Phil was sound asleep.

Jemma kept a close eye on him as he curled up, head on her shoulder. She carefully reached to check his pulse without waking him. May turned in her seat to check on him. "A bit too fast for my liking," Jemma whispered, answering May's unspoken question.

"Step on the gas or I'm going to take over," May muttered to Ward.

After what seemed like a journey of a thousand miles, Ward pulled the vehicle into the cargo bay, next to Lola.

Everyone climbed out but Coulson and Jemma. Agent Hand and her minions started towards them but were quickly stopped by Ward, May, Fitz and Sky.

"Whatever you need, it can wait," May spit out as they all stopped in front of their guests, arms crossed presenting a human barricade to protect their beloved leader.

Agent Hand nodded in agreement. "We'll be in the command center," she replied quietly.

"Let Simmons take care of him," May said as she held up her hand to Sky who was heading back to the SUV. Sky made no effort to hide her disappointment but May didn't care all that much. They headed inside, readying the plane to take off.

"Well, sir, I don't know about you, but I am quite ready to get out of this vehicle," Jemma teased as she climbed over Phil's legs and stepped out into the now quiet cargo bay.

"Don't call me...oh I give up," Phil chuckled as he allowed Jemma to take his hand and help him out. Slowly they crossed the cargo bay.

"I'm going to grab some things and meet you in your quarters, okay?" Jemma said as they stepped inside. Phil nodded. When she was sure he was steady enough to handle the stairs she headed to get her medical bag and some other supplies.

After taking his time on the circular stairs Phil opened his door, never so happy to see all his "things". He stepped in, planning on heading for the bathroom but realizing quickly he was going to end up crumpled on the floor if he tried to go too far. He managed to make it to the couch, collapsing with his head back, staring at the ceiling.

That was where Jemma found him a few minutes later.

"Okay let's get a better look at you," she said a little nervously as she turned on all the lights so she could work. Phil moaned and squinted a little at the light, which in truth wasn't really all that bright. "Sorry, it will just be for a minute," Jemma assured him. "Do you want me to call someone to come in?" she asked. "Agent May or Sky?"

"No, I'm sure May is trying to get us off the ground quickly and Sky will just hover," Phil said quietly. He was so unsure of what he wanted or needed at that very moment.

"True," Jemma said with a small laugh. She helped him out of his tattered dress shirt before wrapping the blood pressure cuff arm his left arm. At the beep she glanced at the high but fully expected reading. She jotted down the numbers on small pad with the SHIELD logo. She checked his pulse which was a little slower than it had been in the car. Rummaging through her bag she looked for the thermometer as Phil toed off his shoes. "Turn your head," Jemma said as she stuck the probe in his left ear. Five seconds later she frowned at the result.

"Fever?" Phil asked, not surprised given how crappy he felt at that moment.

"100.1," Jemma stated as she put the thermometer away. "I'll give you something in a minute to bring that down. Obviously I've seen your face, any other injuries I should know about?"

Phil took a minute to actually do a quick inventory of how he was feeling. "Just a little battered and bruised, I think. And a massive headache," he admitted. "I need to…" he said as he motioned towards the bathroom.

"Of course, give a yell when you're done, I need the light in there to really get your face cleaned up," Jemma said as she helped to him his feet.

Phil used the bathroom and washed his hands, carefully avoiding glancing in the mirror. He had yet to see his face and didn't really want to do so until Jemma had assessed the situation and cleaned him up.

"You can come in," he called out. He put the toilet lid down and took a seat.

Without much conversation Jemma gently cleaned his face. She came to the conclusion that nothing needed to be stitched up and was fairly confident he wouldn't be left with any noticeable scars. "Do you want to shower before I put some antibiotic ointment on your face?" Jemma asked.

"More than anything I would like a hot shower," Phil admitted with a laugh.

"Alrighty then. After that I would like you to lie down and get some rest," she announced as she reached into the cabinet and rooted around for the bottle of Advil.

Phil just shook his head, a little too vigorously he quickly realized as the room started to spin. Jemma gave a little unladylike snort as she guided his head down a little. She rubbed his back as he put his head between his knees.

"I need to get dressed and go downstairs to reassure everyone that I'm fine," Phil whispered a minute later when he was sure he wasn't about to pass out or throw up.

"Even if you're not fine, sir," Jemma said carefully, adding the "sir" to make sure he knew she was serious about her suggestion.

"Yes," he answered simply as he took the pills and water she handed him. He swallowed the pills and carefully stood up. "Can you send May in?"

"Certainly," Jemma answered, quickly realizing she wasn't going to change his mind. "I will leave the ointment on the counter, she can help you with it."

"Thank you, for everything…again," Phil said quietly as he grabbed her hand and pressed a quick kiss to the back of it before letting her go.

TBC

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