Pandora Hearts does not belong to me.

As soon as you read this sentence, you are not allowed to sue me for any blown off limbs, Gilberto hating you, bullet holes anywhere on your body, or any damage. Yes, you are allowed to throw tomatoes at me if this is lame. (Note: The spacing is fucking messed up. Don't ask.)

Kids, wear a bulletproof vest. That is very much suggested.

1. Debate with Xerxes on how Gilbert has a very large pedophile fetish. If Gilbert objects, pull out a picture of Oz and place it in front of his face. (Make sure that Oz is shirtless. Don't make it too explict kiddos.) As Gilbert dreamily looks at it, say: GUILTY! XERXES, WE HAVE A LYING PEDOBEAR HERE!

2. Take away his ciggies. And hide them. And give them back to him six weeks later. And make sure all drug stores suddenly "close".

3. Better yet, go to Oz and say: Hey Oz, want to try one? They're really good and taste like candy. Que Gilbert leaping out. Add that weird pedophile smile for more effect.

4. Might as well tell Gil the truth and admit that every week a fangirl is hiding under his bed and waiting to rape him. He's going to yell at you some weeks later, so you have enough time.
5. Give Gilbert a album with XerxesGil, OzxGil, or any other malexhim. Watch how he never realized our closet pervert minds. (Make the pics rated R for better results.)

6. Every night, camp near Gilbert's window in a tree. And start knocking and tapping on the window. If he tries to look out, hide. When he continues to try to go to sleep, continue making noise. Continue doing until he is paranoid or desperate of sleep.

7. Oldest trick in the book, dye his hair to some color he must detest. (Pink, purple, hot pink, green, anything flamboyant.)
8. When Gilbert is sleeping, VERY VERY quietly write on his forehead: "I am Oz-sama's bitch." Results will be shown in the morning. (If you want to, write it in non-washable permanent marker.)

9. Shave a pattern on his head. It can be ANYTHING. Use your imagination kids.
10. Steal Gilbert's hat. (Well durrrr.)
11. Ask Gilbert why he would want to follow such a pedophile like Uncle Oscar and how he used to be such a good boy back then.

12. With Xerxes's help, lock Alice and Gilbert in one room. Gambling with Xerxes on how many seconds it would take to destroy the whole room and 1 feet around it is fine. Just don't use your mom's Visa credit card

13. Throw Gilbert into some strip club. BUT, make sure everyone in there is a large fan girl/boy (O_O) of our lovely seaweed head.
14. Call him any other version of seaweed head, or just think of any food or thing that is long, wiggly, and black. (Examples: Licorice head, kelp face, mussel head, soba noodle head.)

15. Ask him annoying questions that really waste his time. (Example: You: Gilbeeeeert, how are babies made?)
16. With the help of Xerxes, toss him into a room with one cat. Take his gun too.

17. Get Gilbert drunk, record the whole thing, and post it on a magical video sharing website called YouTube.

18. Much much better for chaos, place Emily and Gilbert in a single room. You'll hear gunshots in 3 minutes.

19. Make paper dolls out of Gilbert's hat. He can wear those instead... right?

20. Draw things on his jacket... what things? I think you can go obscene here.

xxx

For some odd reason, whenever I try editing my stories, it shows that I edited it, but it never shows when I look on the page with the story? Odd.

First of all, I am sorry this is lame. Their is a lot to tease about Gilbert, but my brain is known to die. (A lot.) You may throw whatever you want at me except explosives.