Defiantly she perched on the wooden stool wrinkeling her nose as the strong smell of alcohol filled it. For once perfectly sober she took in the scene of desturction left in the bar by drunk docters and nurses. It was disgusting really. These people had work tomorrow. She realised with a slight pang of guilt that if it wasn't for the mini Mrs Beauchamp she would have joint them sprawled on tables, floor and the bar long before now. Almost three months gone she wasn't taking any chances whatsoever, Nobody except Elliot and Sam knew about her condition.

It was killing her ignoring Sam but she didn't want her baby being abandoned by its father like she had. Better of the child just never knew him. Every time Sam looked at her in the corridor she was tempted just to throw her arms around him and ask for help. Truth be told even if she was barely admitting it to herself she was scared. Terrified even. Connie had never looked after a baby, what if she didn't have the natural gift? What if she was as terrible a mother as a wife or friend? Because she wasn't very good at beign either of them really either.

But she was strong and there was no way she would ever admitt to fear. Downing the juice in one Connie ordered another one. She half realised someone was missing that had been obvious with the general noise of drunks. Sam. He wasn 't there. Had he even been there all night? Spotting Joseph partly sober still beginning to stand up and go she glared. Joseph couldn't even get drunk when he had a chance, how did Jac ever begin to imagine dating him? Jac for her part was sprawled quite elegantly across the plushy leather seat, her hair brushing over her pale face.

"You just going to leave her there?" Connie almost snapped. He was so irritating.

"No...Well...I'm not sure," Joseph stuttered.

"I'll help you get her to the car, " She rolled her eyes, "Thats if your fit to drive?"

He nodded. She shook her head it was obvious he was under the limit anyway, even three hours in he hadn't been even slightly tipsy. And now looking carefully she could tell he was almost as sober as her.

"What about them?" He indicated to almost three qaurters of Holby staff, only three or four conscious.

"None of them will make it home. They'll get kicked out now and be pretty stuffed for transport unless they atempt to drive and kill themselves,"

"Are you going to drive them?"

She raised both eyebrows in exasperation,

"Do i look like a taxi driver?"

"Sorry,"

Together they lifted Jac. She was suprised at just how heavy the almost anorexic girl actually was. Must have been at least nine and a half, not exactly overweight but about the same as she herelf and she was definitly bigger than Jac.

"So wheres Sam?"

"He's taken a couple of weeks leave,"

She stared in shock, quickly recomposing her face to indiferance,

"Why?"

"Things have been tough lately,"

She shook her head disgusted. Tough lately? For him? She was carrying a baby. His baby; this just proved how irrisponsible he was. He should be wooing her, trying to get in her good books, trying to force her to allow him to play daddy. She realised that was what she wanted. Him to play daddy and them all to live happily together. But she was scared. As scared to do it with him as to do it alone.

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Over the next couple of weeks she found herself alomst floating into a depression. She was snappy and moody. Barely concentrating at work and barely living at home. The progress she had made in conquering her fear of the thing growing inside her had evaporated. Untill she saw him. Sam. Standing stephoscope around his neck he was treating a patient. His first ay back. Smartly she marched over waiting for him to finish,

"Mr strachan,"

He searched her face unsure how she was feeling or how he should reply.

"Mrs beauchamp," he chose.

She noticed he looked almost as tired as her. And she smniled that his eyes were on her stomach, which was slightly bulging now although only obvious if you looked hard and knew what to find. No one else looked that closely. She desperately fought the urge to say something soppy but for once Connie Beauchamp was feeling, almost human.

Finally with a roll of her eyes she slipped both arms around his neck and buried her head in his warm shoulder. Breathing in his gorgous smell. Suprised he wrapped his arms around her, pleased.

And I know that it's a wonderful world

But I cant feel it right now, I

thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now,

Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,

but I can only see when you're here,

here with me.