I do not know what to make of this, but all I know is that it is heading to about one in the morning where I live, I do not feel like doing school work, I have a lot on my mind, and yea…so whatever. Make of this what you will. I am letting my fingers fly over the keyboard of my laptop.

Shattered Soul

Anna stares out her window in her bedroom allowing those tears to fall freely down her cheeks now that everything is quiet and have settled down for the evening. It has been a couple weeks since the Thaw and everything had returned to an almost normal state that the town of Arendelle had always known. Elsa, despite the promises of never ever ignoring her little sister again, had fallen rather short on keeping said promise.

Of course Anna did not (nor ever would) blame her sister. She was the Queen after all and above all else, Arendelle would have to come first. Besides Elsa had a lot of work to catch up on and the three day winter in summer did not help matters much. So Anna put on the mask that she always worn for the past thirteen years, and did not allow an inch of sadness to show. It is because of this mask that no one ever saw the young woman dying on the inside.

The definition of the soul is that it is the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans. It is also regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part. This is the very essence that was already scratched due to the thirteen years separation from her sister with seemingly no apparent reason.

Those scratches soon eroded into something deeper. They started to turn into small crevices when she was pleading outside her sister's door after burying their parents alone, "We only have each other. It's just you and me, what are we gonna do?" Again she was only met with silence that night.

It wasn't until she was able to glue those shards and put on a happy front when it finally came time to open the gates. Even after everything was revealed, she still maintained that mask, never letting it fall even when Elsa had struck her heart. However the only time it did break was when Hans betrayed her, "Oh Anna…if only there was someone out there who loved you." He had said to her. Thus the glue faded and that crevice opened up once more.

Ever since then, she had not been able to glue the crevice back into place, despite Kristoff, Elsa, and Olaf's assurances that everything was not her fault, "Anna, I do not blame you. None of that was your fault." Elsa had told her for the umpteenth time one morning, "You have to learn to forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. Sometimes a good heart doesn't see the bad."

Anna snorted as she thought of that. Of course at the time she was comforted by Elsa's advice, but now it was as if she could feel Elsa pulling away again and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She had gone to Hans out of years of loneliness and unrequited love by her family, she had placed him in charge after she had driven Elsa away, and above all else she caused the accident that faithful night. Yes she had recalled the accident that occurred in the ballroom; that memory had come back a few nights ago.

How could she have a good heart when she had brought every misdeed upon her family? Another tear fell down her face and onto the window sill. The sky was awake as she stared into the lights and she wished Elsa was here to try and make her feel better, to stop these plagues of self-anger stop, to assure her that it is not going back to the way things were before, but alas she was not and Anna was not about to go looking for her.

Anna sighed and got up from her seat by the window and made a move to the door. Opening it slowly and quietly she made her way into the hallway. Not going anywhere in particular, she just allows her feet to guide her, the shadows allowing her already dark thoughts to get a bit darker.

In the meantime Elsa sat in her study, although she was not getting much work done. She of course was not oblivious to the rapid decline in her sister's mood. They still ate together during all meals, they took walks when Elsa's schedule allowed, and even hung out during the night when Elsa knew she would have minimal work to do the next day. However these past few weeks became increasingly harder to fulfill such events that she desperately wanted to have with her sister…her sweet, kind, and courageous baby sister.

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flickering of light coming from the window in her study. Turning in her chair she sees the Northern Lights glistening across the black sky. Elsa smiles sadly, "The sky is awake, so I'm awake, which means we have to play."

"Yes, we do have to play." Elsa whispers as an answer to the memory that just played. Looking back at the work load on her desk, she decides that she has done enough. Getting up she stretches and winces as she hears different muscles popping in her back.

Sighing, she walks across the study and towards the door. Opening it slowly and quietly, she steps into the hallway and tries to find her way to Anna's bed room. However while on her way, she hears whispering coming out of one of the rooms. Elsa, wondering who could be up at this hour besides herself and her sister, approaches the door and listens closely, "Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us." Gerda? Elsa wonders, who could she be talking to?

"I know that," Anna? Elsa again wonders, "But how long can the path last? It just seems like everything is going back to the way it was." Yes, that was definitely Anna's voice.

In the room Gerda looks at the princess with pity. She was now the only one that could see passed the princess's well placed mask. The former Queen of course was the exception, but seeing as she was no longer there with them, it was Gerda who learned to tell what feelings Anna was hiding, "It isn't Anna, and you know that. You cannot allow these feelings to keep consuming you. Have you talked to Elsa? Kristoff? Or that nice snowman…what is his name again?"

"Olaf." Anna answered as she let out a giggle. Sobering up she shook her head, "No, I honestly haven't. Besides Kristoff went back to harvest ice and Olaf went with him and Sven."

"And Elsa?"

Anna sighed, "I do not want to burden her, and she doesn't need to worry about me when there are so many things that are more important."

There was a slight drop in temperature. However Gerda was the only one who seemed to have noticed since Anna made no reaction to it. Before Gerda could reply to Anna's comment, the young princess stood up and stretched, "Well I should head to bed now. Thanks for the talk."

"I think you should really talk with Elsa." Gerda stated firmly yet gently.

Anna smiled sadly, "No. This is my burden to work out alone. Elsa has done so much for me, the least I could do is not burden her with my petty problems."

Elsa was listening outside the door, and just as the door opened Elsa hid herself in the shadow in the corner. Anna was too caught up in her thoughts to notice anything as she returned to her room, "You can come out now." Elsa heard Gerda's voice.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." Elsa apologized quickly feeling like she was eight and she was caught with her hand in the chocolate jar, "But I couldn't help it."

Gerda smiled as she pulled the young monarch into the room that was previously occupied by the princess, "It is ok dear. In this case I can overlook it."

Elsa sighed and then felt instantly hurt, "Why did she not tell me what she was feeling?"

"I think you know the answer Elsa." Gerda stated, "Not only because she gave the answer to that question, but there is another."

"Which is what?" Elsa asked, "I told her that I am always here for her. I would drop everything to protect her…no matter what."

"I know that and she knows that, but Elsa she has been on her own just as long as you have. Yes your parents did their best, but they never really helped her nor was there for her like they were for you." Gerda stated. She and Kai were against ever separating the girls, even Kai (being the King's closest friend) tried to sway his mind about the separation, but the King held firm. Even towards the end Gerda tried to persuade the Queen to allow the girls to have some sort of contact. However the Queen had told her that on multiple occasions she tried to sway the King's mind, but to no avail.

Elsa bowed her head and light flurry started to occur, "But I am her sister. I am supposed to help her, not the other way around. How long has she been concealing this from me?"

"It is not your fault," Gerda said as she placed a hand on Elsa's shoulder. The girls after all, were like her surrogate daughters especially after the accident, "Anna was never one to openly express her true feelings. She'd rather place everyone else first than think of herself."

The snow stopped and Elsa snorted, "She was always like that. Didn't matter if the person was a stranger, or if there was an animal in need, she was always an outgoing person…"

Gerda nodded and that trait thankfully did not wavier…at least not until now it seemed, "They say the people who exhibit the most kindness have experienced a lot of pain." Elsa looked up now and paid strict attention, "The ones who act like they do not need love, are the ones who need it more." Elsa knew that to be all too true for herself, but for Anna? "The ones who take care of everyone else's needs are the ones who need it most." Elsa nodded, but what did Anna need most that Elsa had not already given her? "The people who smile a lot may be the ones who cry when this is one around."

The last part struck Elsa, after all how much pain could Anna be hiding from her this very minute? Was she crying back at her room right now? Elsa made a move to see, after all she had to see her sister. She had to be there with her sister, "No." Gerda grabbed Elsa's arm, "Not yet."

"But if she is-"

"Do not approach her just yet. Trust me. You will not get anywhere with her."

"So when?"

"You'll know when the time comes."

Elsa just stared at the woman who had been like a mother to her and her sister, she could see something in her eyes, and knew for some reason that she was right. Anna was just as, if not more, stubborn than she was. Nodding her head, she knew that she had two options: let Anna come to her, or wait to grill her sister. As she leaves to go into her bedroom, she stops outside Anna's door for a brief moment and even though the sounded is muffled, she swears she could hear Anna's whimpers.

The urge to knock in almost unbearable, but she remembers Gerda's words. As she walks away, she enters her bedroom and immediately changes into her night clothes. Then as she lays in bed staring up at the ceiling, another problem comes to mind. If Anna chooses to come to her with her problem…how is Elsa expected to help when she does not know how to help herself?