Blue's Poos, by Dickfart
"Sir, your dog has defecated on my property for the last time," said Billbob Frank, boasting a mountain of cerulean blue fecal matter towering over his McMansion. "If you don't get that dogone dog under control this instant, then I will have to give 'er the old yeller treatment."
"I'm sorry, Billbob. Won't you come into my...?"
"HOUSE!" said the voice of creepy children.
"Yeah, house!" said Steve, ushering the unwitting soul inside. He sat ol' Billbob down and prepared a line of cocaine for the beverly hillbilly boi howdy.
"I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush, and now I've got my..."
"DOPE FRIEND!"
"That's right. Let's snort!"
"dAww, shucks. I couldn't..." said ol' Billbob.
"Oh, but you...?"
"MUST!" said the cult of bloodthirsty children.
"Yes, you must!"
"Well, when you put it that way, yer darn tootin'!"
Ol' Billbob snorted that line of coke, and instantly sprang to his feet and said "My BIRTHDAY DONE CAME EARLY!" and he jumped into the squishy part of the tower of feces in his yard.
"Wow! Good job, Blue!" said Steve. "You helped ol' Billbob find his purpose in life."
"Buh BOW!" said Blue.
"A CLUE A CLUE!" shouted the hellspawn.
"Yo mama sniffs glue?"
"No, it's a CLUE!" slaying a goat.
"Oh, a CLUE!"
But before Steve could jot down the clue in his handy dandy notebook, he tripped over some fishing line and landed head first on a machete, piercing his skull and killing him instantly.
"That's what you get for snorting Mr. Salt," said Mrs. Pepper, who then proceeded to marinade Steve, bake him at four hundred degrees, and feed him to her daughter Paprika who was always "hungry!"
The End