Hey get a load of this guys! my real name is John, John Weedy I am a friend of Garry's and I've heard all the stories about my friend but someone's got the name wrong and twisted the story a bit so I've written what really happened! This is a true story! Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns Harry Hotter and this is just a parody! so please don't sue me!!!!!!!! Chapter one A NEW HERO This is how it really went......... One Saturday morning a child was born, and his parents gave him a name,... a name that many years from now will be remembered for many years. This name was Garry...., Garry Trotter! Mr and Mrs Trotter Had finally had a baby. Garry was a little boy who was loved a lot by his parents..... * One full year had passed as quickly as a pack of stampeding hedgehogs and for the first time in Garry's life came his first 1 year old birthday! As usual Garry was bashing his favourite sock against the window when he saw something that he'd never forget; a hooded man was standing at the window with a pink stick and he was tapping it against the door. Garry heard his father running down the stairs and shouting to his mother "you've burnt the bacon!" but then he heard a loud bang just like a sound you get from making a loud bang! the whole house shook and Garry fell on the floor. His mother came running up the stairs, she quickly picked Garry up and then she pulled out a brown stick and said "sabus garyoly". Suddenly Garry felt a great warm feeling, his legs were all wet then he suddenly went as stiff as a stuffed jellyfish!, He felt a lump rolling down his leg!! "stop playing with that" cried his mother "it's dirty poo poo!" His mother put him on the bed and ran to the door, but it was too late! A man was standing at the door, his mother held up her brown stick but faster than Garry could say "goo gu gubablurrrrr" His mother had fallen to the floor! The man was getting closer... and then he put his face right above Garry's and.... Too late, Garry had touched the mans face with his pooy hands and the man flung backwards, tripped over Garry's mother then landed on her brown stick! The brown stick had gone straight through the mans ear and out the other side! The end that was sticking out of the mans ear started to flash and burn and then a fire ball came out of the end of it and bounced off Garry's head leaving a burn mark on his forehead! The brown stick carried on spitting fire and then the house started to catch fire!!! * In a small neighbourhood somewhere in the middle of England, a cat was sat on a wall. Meanwhile in Surrey something was happening; a man stood in a long black coat with dark sunglasses and a gun in his hands and he started shooting at the lamp posts of Public Cycle. Suddenly a tree came out of nowhere and waddled across the road to where the man in the black coat stood. The man in the black coat started to say something... "I didn't expect to see you here Miss Ronald-mac-donaldall." The tree began to wriggle and then it fell over, like a corrugated iron roof in a hurricane, it stared to say "can you unzip this costume?" "I've been trying to get out of it all day!" "Ah" said the man with the gun "I can see that you have been doing transvesteration........ hold on" he unzipped the zip to reveal a very in shape woman with black hair and wearing green tight trousers with a black cloak around her there were square spectacles on her head and a very tight green top that pressed against her chest . "Thank you Fumblefraud!" said the woman. "where's Aggregate". The man with the shades said "He should be here any minute!" "do you think it's seff?" "to let sutch a dangorus pesen wit a litteeeel bowwwe ?" - "why are you speaking like that professor?" interrupted Fumblefraud "I've swallowed some twigs" said professer mac Donagle. "Well professor, I would trust Aggregate with my wife, if I had one " said Fumblefraud. Then out of nowhere came a low rumbling noise immediately followed by the distinct smell of eggs. "Pardon me!" said Fumblefraud. The two professors stood waiting for half an hour until the street was suddenly lit with a very large head light, there was an irritating squeaky sound coming from behind it, the enormous head light came closer. Was it a giant sized motorbike lent to the driver by Garry's godfather? But what the hell was Garry's godfather, Garry's human sized godfather, doing with a motorbike that size anyway? Ah, but no! It was a tricycle, a beautiful yellow tricycle, a beautiful shiny yellow tricycle with rainbow tassels on the handle bars. The man riding it seemed to be carrying a sack that apparently contained a baby. The professors waited a good ten minutes as the man on the tricycle made pathetic attempts at peddling closer, it was no good, his legs were far to long and because of his size they came up to his shoulders as he tried to peddle. He finally gave up and got off, he strode over to Fumblefraud, going ten times faster than when he was on the tricycle. The man was very big, , about the size of a golf ball is when c ompared to an ant. When he reached Fumblefraud he stopped, "'Ere `e is, sir" said the big man. He lifted the sack off his shoulder and gave it to Fumblefraud "The little thing was sick when we was flying over Bristol" said the golf ball man "Thank you Aggregate" said Fumblefraud. Fumblefraud put the baby down on the door step of number 5 and left a note on it's leg.