A ficlet I wrote at one in the morning a bit after watching 'Falling'. I couldn't not write something for that ep. And so here you go. The first thing I've submitted in forever.
Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order. It belongs to Dick Wolf and friends. Please do not sue me.
Mike knew that it would be one of those nights when he did not sleep.
He would dream dreams he would not recall, and wake sweating in the dark, alone.
The girl, Lacey, had smiled at him, smiled with her innocent face completely open and trusting. He had tried to save Lacey from what her parents would do to her, tried so hard.
Two nights ago he had been so consumed by the idea that he could save her that he wasn't able to imagine the possibility that he would be unable to.
Jack had reined him in, yanked his leash.
Her parents would mutilate her, and there was nothing he could do.
In his empty apartment he sits on his couch with his head in his hands. It is times like these that he is struck by the awful futility of his job, of everything.
Between the couch cushions he finds a lost, worn baseball, it's stitching coming undone. He strokes the soft leather.
There is a knock on his door and Connie is there. She lets herself in and deposits a large pizza box on his coffee table. He should have known that she would come, that she would never just let him sit around to brood and be angsty.
They eat for a while in comfortable silence. Neither of them mention the Talbots.
Mike takes a sip of his drink and Connie eats a bit of olive out of the pizza box.
"You couldn't have done anything." she tells him.
He does not look at her. She goes on.
"Even if Jack hadn't-"
"I could have helped her." He cuts her off and she sees tension in his jaw.
Connie's tone softens to a murmur beside him.
"You can't save everyone Mike. That's not the way the world works."
She is right of course.
He lowers his head. Connie puts her hand on his cheek and brings his face towards her. She kisses him, taking his pain and making it hers, making it theirs. When they are on his bed and he is poised above her, he takes her face between his hands. If he did not have her, he does not know what he would do.
Afterward, when their sweat is cooling;
"Acceptance." he says into her hair.
"Hmm?"
"We couldn't save Lacey Talbot. There is nothing else we can do. If I don't...If I don't accept it then I'll go mad."
"I won't let you go mad."
He kisses her temple. "Thank you."
They drift asleep, and Mike sleeps right through until dawn.