Just a daft little thing for a CoS Contest. This was my second win in a row, which I was quite proud of.
The topic was Fred and George's first year at Hogwarts, and I decided to take a different stance on things - remember those report cards for James and Sirius in OotP? ;)
Of course, I don't own anything, as it all already belongs to Jo Rowling.
'Morning, Potter.'
'Good morning, sir.'
Professor Snape gave Harry the glare of contempt he generally saved for scum of the earth such as him. 'Now, I know you've so enjoyed working through the illegal antics of your dearly deceased father and his like-wise friend -'
Harry clenched his fists.
'- but Mr Filch requested that you work, as you have been doing, through a box of cards he'd like sorting out. Considering who they are 'records' of, they are certain to be badly damaged, which should keep you busy for a while.' He smirked, and though Harry looked elsewhere and took a deep breath, his blood boiled. He'd hoped to get away in time for lunch with Ginny today.
Instead of socking Snape very hard, as he believed he should, for the good of wizard-kind in general, he sat in his usual place as Snape dropped a large dusty box in front of him.
'Now,' he said silkily, 'I have business elsewhere today, which is far more important than sitting around watching you copy out events from years ago. You will not leave this room until these cards have been copied out. You will not use magic to assist you in any way. Is that clear, Potter?'
'Yes, sir.'
One last glower for good measure, and he swept out the door.
Harry sighed and pulled the box toward him, carefully picking out the first card. He presumed that these were records from when Filch first started at the school (which would be when it first opened, he thought to himself) and fully expected them to disintegrate on touch.
However, it was in even better condition than those which he had been sifting through previously; they couldn't have been more than a decade old. Curious, Harry read through the first card:
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Detention records of Weasley, Fred and Weasley, George. September 1988 – June 1989.
Records kept – 97. Detentions served – 96 (must find out what happened to them for that last one. Might deserve chaining to the wall)
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Date: September 1st, 1988.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George.
Crime: Throwing Dungbombs at Mrs Norris.
Punishment: One hour cleaning Dungeons with Professor Snape.
Additional notes: Incident occurred after Welcome Feast. Earliest in year a perpetrator has ever been caught. Must keep eye on these two.
--
Harry was amazed, and wondered why Snape had asked him to reorganize the records of Fred and George. Who knew, he might get a dangerous idea or two off them …
A rat had eaten the corner of this first card, so he carefully copied out the information on it before reading the next escapade, which had happened only three days later.
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Date: September 4th,1988.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George. Also: Jordan, Lee.
Crime: Sneaking around when should be in bed.
Punishment: One hour cleaning Astronomy Tower with Professor Sinistra.
--
Date: September 5th, 1988.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George. Also: Weasley, Charlie.
Crime: Attaching Flint, Marcus, to candle bracket by underclothes.
Punishment: One hour cleaning bedpans in hospital wing. NO MAGIC this time.
--
Harry continued reading, ignoring his duties (of which there were surprisingly few anyway), stifling a laugh every now and then by coughing loudly. He didn't know whether Snape had just made up the 'more important business' and was listening at the door for any sign of him not working, ready to swoop in and order him to write out his own detention card.
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Date: October 13th, 1988.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George.
Crime: Releasing Dungbombs between lessons.
Punishment: Cleaning Transfiguration classroom (without magic)
--
Date: October 14th, 1988.
Names: Weasley, George.
Crime: Releasing another wave of Dungbombs.
Punishment: Cleaning Argus Filch's office without magic.
Additional notes: Must discover supplier. Must also discover why Weasley, Fred was not around. Is first separate offence.
--
Harry thought of the Marauder's Map, safely tucked away upstairs in his trunk, and allowed himself a sly smile before continuing.
--
Date: Novmeber 5th, 1988.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George. Also: Jordan, Lee.
Crime: Releasing fireworks from Astronomy Tower. Insisted it was a Muggle tradition.
Punishment: Cleaning Care of Magical Creatures pen for a week without magic.
Additional notes: Must speak to Professor Dumbledore about decree for ceiling chains. Would be useful for these two.
--
The cards carried on for throughout the year, filled with Fred and George's random practical jokes. Harry found it a wonder that they had had any time for homework or leisure, the amount of detentions Filch had ordered upon them. He read every card, fascinated by the early history of the only students to ever give orders to Peeves. Every other week, it seemed, they had done something even more extraordinary than usual which caught Harry's eye, often along with fellow nuisances to Filch.
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Date: February 19th, 1989.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George. Also: Weasley, Charlie.
Crime: Transfiguring Mrs Norris into a Flobberworm and laying a trail of lettuce around school.
Punishment: Cleaning up every last spot of mucus without magic.
--
Date: April 1st, 1989.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George. Also: Jordan, Lee.
Crime: Stealing Polyjuice Potion. Sneaking around when should be in bed. Using 'pieces' of students and teachers to turn suits of armour into immobile replicas of said students and teachers. "We thought everyone could do with a bit of cheering up, is what we have to say for ourselves. And it's our birthday!" (May Merlin help me if this is true)
Punishment: Repickling Professor Snape's collection.
--
Date: June 26th, 1989.
Names: Weasley, Fred. Weasley, George.
Crime: Putting love potion in cups of tea of Argus Filch and Professor Snape.
Punishment: Learning the Memory Charm before performing it on all those who require it, after which their own memories will be modified.
Additional notes: Must remember to destroy this card. Could bring back painful memories.
--
This seemed to be their swansong for their first year, as it was the final card in the box. Wishing he had been there to witness such a memorable event, yet hating to imagine the scene playing out, he copied out the few cards that were damaged; minor incidents from early in the year, one involving cockroach clusters and a box previously filled with chocolates. Filch seemed to prize his records of the twins' misdemeanours over anyone else's, they were in such good condition. Maybe it was a pride thing, he thought as he left a few minutes later, only a little late to meet Ginny, deciding that if Snape wanted him to stay, he should set a better example himself, and if he didn't like that, well, he could always try out a couple of tips he'd picked up from the Weasleys …
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