Author's note: This is being written to match the season. The plan is to have it finished before I start my mocks which are mid January some time. It's a first for me to write something in the first person so I'd love to know what you think. I haven't had it read through so it may contain many many mistakes.
Warning: Contains occasional mild language and references to sex. Oh yeah and male/male relationships. Hopefully I won't have to up the rating past a T.
Disclaimer: I don't own atom. Nor do I own the gorgeous shoes I saw in New Look yesterday. Sigh. I don't seem to own much do I?
I love Christmas.
This year we're spending it away from the folks in an effort to include Axel into the festive spirit. Lioness' idea, she doesn't like to see Axel depressed. News flash Li, that guy is always brooding. Between you and me he's just doing it for attention. Something I am never guilty of myself. What? I can't help it if people are drawn to my sparkling personality!
Since we'll be enjoy the season of good will in the Aquatics Centre it is currently being transformed into a complete mess of oh so tacky decorations. Ahem. I mean a winter wonderland. An argument broke out earlier over who got to choose the decorations. I firmly believe the job should have been left to me, I have the best sense of style and, lets face it, I'm the only one with an ounce of taste out of this bunch of misfits.
Lioness, Shark and King instantly started to protest when I announced this. Saying that they wanted to bring some stuff from home, so that they had a reminder of their families over the holiday. Axel slipped into sulking and said he'd never decorated a Christmas tree before which had Lioness instantly fawning over him, saying that this year he could. Excuuuse me Missy, who're you to go about delegating tasks? I wanted to decorate the tree!
In the end the others won. So now we're stuck with a horrid mix of clashing, brightly coloured ornamentation in our beautiful home. This never happened with my family. We chose a theme, we chose a colour scheme and we stuck with them. My mother was always dead set on making the house look like one of those department store decorations, as in perfect. Of course the building always conforms, it's just the people inside that are, in the nicest possible way, dysfunctional.
Anyway back to decorating the Aquatics Centre, which is what the five of us are currently doing. King has locked himself in the kitchen. He claims he's making Christmas biscuits and other such tasty treats. But judging from the crashes, bangs and the hiss of steam that occasionally wafts under the door I'd say Spydah has sneaked in through the kitchen window and the two of them are engaging in all out war. Either that or they're partaking of the love that dare not speak its name. Dear god just shoot me! I didn't want to picture that!
Axel and Lioness are decorating the tree. Badly, I might add. They're putting on the decorations just about anywhere, they've missed a big chunk at the bottom and fairy lights look like they're tying the tree up not perched on the branches like they should be. This is what happens when you leave the delicate art of tree decoration to amateurs. Holy holly! Is that a seashell bauble they're about to put up. It's disgusting! It's an abomination, it should be jumped on then burn...
"Hey! My seashell baubles!" Says a voice coming up behind me. Oh my god! There's more than one! They hurt my eyes just to... Wait a minute I recognise that sexy surfer's drawl. Suddenly I can look on those decorations in a whole new light. Aren't they just adorable!
"They're very pretty." I choke out to Shark who is now standing beside me.
"My mum made them." Shark says proudly. OK, now I feel awful.
"Shall we get back to putting up the paper-chains?" I ask, quickly changing the subject. Shark nods and clambers agilely back up onto the chair, one end of a very long, neon yellow, chain in his hand. Yes, that's right, neon yellow. Now do you see why I wanted to be in charge of the decorating?
Anyway, nothing I've said so far has given you a clue as to why I love this festive season so much. Well this is the reason. Shark is standing on the chair, leaning forwards to tape up the paper-chain. From my vantage point, where I'm holding the chair steady with my foot and feeding him the length of the chain as he needs more, I have the perfect view of his shapely arse in his surfers shorts.
I could honestly stare at it all day. But then people might start to get a bit suspicious and I wouldn't be able to look at the rest of him in all his gorgeous glory. For example the cute expression of concentration on his face, his tongue poking out from between his lips and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as he attaches the paper-chain to a particularly difficult bit of the wall.
Finally he's done and he jumps down, placing a hand on my shoulder as leverage... I think I've died and gone to heaven. We survey Shark's work. It looks like it was done by a crazy, hyperactive monkey on crack. There's no order to it, the chains are just stuck up any which way.
"It looks great!" I say, straining to sound enthusiastic. I don't want to hurt my ickle Sharkie's feelings. "I couldn't have done a better job myself."
"Thanks man!" Shark grins broadly, slapping me on the back. See! Who says telling a little white lie never gets you anywhere.
"There. Finished!" Lioness announces standing back and looking at the tree proudly. How she can feel any pride about the dilapidated structure that used to be a perfectly healthy tree I'll never know. Axel seems pleased too, which makes a change because he's usually such a miserable bastard.
With uncannily perfect timing the kitchen door swings open. A cloud of steam instantly escapes and King emerges from this temporary fog. A thin sheen of sweat in covering his forehead and clutched in one oven-glove clad hand is a tray of biscuits. At least I think they're biscuits.
"Aww, they're lovely!" Lioness says as King comes over to show them off. "I like the star but I think the candy cane one is my favourite." She gushes. Wait a minute, she can tell what shapes they're supposed to be? Maybe I don't give the girl enough credit.
Hang on, hang on, I think I've identified the one that may or may not be a candy cane. Yup! If you squint and tilt your head to the left then the long one smeared with read and white icing must be the one she's talking about. Go me!
"Here. You all gotta try one now." King insists, thrusting a boiling hot, only just out of the oven, cookie into my hand. It's all I can do not to scream in agony as it burns my fingertips. "Careful, they're a little hot." He adds as an after thought. No? Really? Idiot.
Since my fingers have now gone numb from the pain I bring the biscuit closer to my face for inspection. Its a misshapen blob covered in white icing. Very suspicious looking white icing, maybe I wasn't far off with the Spydah and King theory. Oh gross, why was I cursed with an over-active imagination? I can't eat the cookie now that I think its covered with one of the two's... little swimmers...
"Aren't you going to eat it Hawk?" King asks, looking a little offended. Damnit! I put the biscuit up to my lips and nibble at the corner, trying to avoid the icing. Swallowing, I try to keep the grimace off my face. Actually it doesn't taste too bad, I just can't help picturing naughty things, things that will mentally scar me for the rest of my life.
Shark has already finished his. He's licking the sticky green icing (why couldn't I get an innocent colour like green for my icing?) from the fingers of one hand and he's already reaching for another. King slaps his hand away.
"I want them to last till tomorrow." He scolds the disappointed looking Shark. I'd never disappoint you like that Ollie. "For when we go to visit Garret." He explains and heads back to the kitchen, no doubt to hide the biscuits so Shark can't eat them all. It won't work, Shark has some kind of sugar radar.
"We're visiting Garret tomorrow?" I ask, unaware that we had plans. Another morning of planned Shark watching foiled. Oh well I can catch glimpses of him while out, its not like I have to be in the comfort of our home to do so.
"Yep." Axel confirms. "In the morning. In the afternoon we have to work, otherwise how are we going to pay for Christmas?" He has a point, I'll have to get in touch with my agent. See if she can get me something at such short notice.
OK maybe Christmas isn't that great after all. I've been forced to eat a very suspicious biscuit, the Aquatics Centre looks like a bomb went off in tacky decoration store and I have to work. We'll see what tomorrow brings eh?