Parts of this started off as a veeeeeeery weird conversation with a friend, so while bored at like 4 in the morning, I thought I would build on it for a really random, all over the place, lost skit.
In the hatch.
Locke - Lost!
Jack – what?
Locke – I'm mean, found…I'm not lost anymore.
Jack – Okaaaaaay.
Kate – I'm hungry. runs off
Desmond – Oops maybe I forgot to the lock the door.
Jack – Actually I'm hungry too.
Kate comes back
Kate – Apollo bar?
Jack – Mmmmm yum!
Locke – Wait! Is there a hatch your not telling me about?
Kate – no runs off into the HATCH shower
Jack – Oooh Kate's in the shower!
Kate – Hey! I'll throw a rock at you! …Wait no that's sawyer never mind…
Desmond – Hey look brother! The Hurley bird!!
Jack – You know about the Hurley bird?
Desmond – Yeah it crapped gold so I shot at it.
Locke – Isn't that like one season too early.
Kate – Shush! Otherwise I will throw a rock at you…wait no that's Jack…no! Sawyer!
Sawyer – Yep...hang on I'm on a raft. WAAAAALT teleport me back! Clicks his heels together, chants, and disappears
Michael – The bird!!! starts firing his gun, which doesn't shoot anything
Jack – Sorry man, I was supposed to give that one to Sawyer…er I mean I forgot to load it. Wana hand me the mag?
Michael – No! This is MY in-flight magazine! WAAAAALT! Clicks his heels, chants, and disappears
Jack – Ok this is getting weird. Will you hurry up and shoot the damn computer so I can time travel to the episode where Kate and me kiss.
Locke – Whoah! Not yet…I haven't finished playing pacman.
continues pressing the keys in a dyslexic fashion.
Locke – …16…22…no 23…42. Wooyeah! 108! I win!!!
Desmond – I've been here longer. I can get a better score!
they wait 108 minutes. Room starts to shake.
Desmond – See…7418880! Jackpot!
Jack – You said my name?
Kate – Shh…I'm wondering if we could make it a love square…Heellloooo there Desmond.
Locke – The island says that's season 6.
Locke shoves Desmond for winning and Desmond accidentally shoots the computer
WARNING WARNING WARNING
Zaps all the way forward to season 3
Jack – Awww I'm in a glass box…great.
Kate and Sawyer are in cages
Kate – Hey Sawyer, you wana break out of your cage so we can make out?
Sawyer – Sure.
Ben – Muahahaha holding camcorder Jack I have something you may find interesting…
Jack – Yey are you gonna start jabbing me with needles next.
Ben shows Jack the video
Jack -…Starts crying…again
Sawyer – Jacks crying.
Kate – Jacks crying?
At the beach
Rose – Jacks crying.
Charlie – Jacks crying?
On the boat
Jin - insert Korean
Sun – Jacks crying?
Kate – How do u know?
Sawyer – I sensed a change in the wind...I think I've spent too much time with Baldy.
Charlie – How do you know?
Rose – I can hear him.
Charlie – Ah I thought that was Aaron.
Flashback
Jack wakes up after falling asleep in surgery
Jack – Oh thank god it was a dream!
Nurse – Don't be silly, it's your flashback
Jack – Ah…crap.
Forgets about the surgery and wanders off to get obsessed over Sarah's new man
Jack – Its you, dad! rings number
Christian – Nope just a lost coincidence, that's Kate calling me.
Jack – You know Kate?
Christian – I'm an other.
Jack – …Other what?
Christian – Man. It's a love square!
Jack – Oh my god this is screwed up. FLASHBACK end…now! Clicks fingers now… Clicks fingers again
Jack sighs
Weird noise rises in from somewhere Hey look an orchestra.
Kate – Stop crying!!!
Jack – Kate? Oooh my trademark! KAAAAAAAATE!
Kate – oh my god why has it taken me so long… JAAAAAAAAAACK!
Sawyer – FISH BISCUIT!!
Charlie – Oooh I feel like a dharma fish biscuit…oh wait the hatch is gone now isn't it.
Claire appears
Claire – Someone took my baby!
Charlie – You're holding him.
Claire – Oh.
Bernard – HEY! Watch out there's a giant Lost sign about to hit you!
Boom
Yes, I have a weird sense of humour at 4 in the morning. lol