The Search for Saltwater Taffy

Subaku no Hime: The idea for this hit me one night at work, while I was having a craving. I'm not pregnant, but do you know how hard it is to find saltwater taffy? Again, and I guess as usual, this is all right off the top of my head. (uploading off the top of my head without editing the storyline is becoming a habit. All I wrote out was a quick plot draft. If you happen to have any suggestions or comments, please feel free to let me know. My goal is to make readers smile;)

Summary: Rapunzel on crack, Naruto style. Ino is pregnant, and charges Shikamaru with getting her some saltwater taffy to fill her craving. No one in Konoha has any, so he asks some friends to help him out. The group searches far and wide, only to end up in the last place they ever thought they'd find it, now the only problem is getting it…

Disclaimer: Standard. Naruto, not mine. Rapunzel? Brothers Grimm. And originally, it isn't anything like the cheerified, cartoony Disney tale… it was dark. I own nothing, except my darned broken toaster and a computer that's seen better days.

Shikamaru's Plight

Ino glared at her husband with a deadly gleam in her lovely blue eyes. 'It's your fault, you creep,' she grated out. 'It's all your fault that I'm pregnant.'

'Takes two,' he replied, leaning back against the chair he was sitting on as Ino bustled around the kitchen, searching for something to nibble on. His beloved wife was five months along, and starting to show. There was a small bulge in the belly of her purple outfit, and she was self-conscious about it, although he loved it.

She whirled to glare at him, long, gleaming blond hair flying out around her like a halo of molten white gold. 'It takes two? Are you blaming me for this? Me?' she gritted her teeth at him, a sure sign she was getting pissed.

Shikamaru decided it was time to placate his little wife, because she got scary when she was angry. He wondered what would do it this time. 'No dear, I'm not blaming you for it, all I'm saying is that it takes two to make a baby,'

From her glare, he figured out that maybe this wasn't the very best thing to say to her. She simply snorted in disgust, and rooted around the cupboards, rattling the canned food and candies she'd hidden there for midnight cravings.

'What? There's no candy here? What the hell is going on?' she gritted, and turned to face him. 'Did you eat all the candy, hon?'

'No dear,' he replied, and at her glare, he shriveled in his seat. 'Maybe some of the neighbor kids came by, and they found some candy… ?' he finished lamely.

'That's likely it,' she agreed. 'But I need some more candy, love,' she smirked.

'I'll go to the store soon then,' he replied.

He didn't really want to go to the store, nor anywhere, but he knew that it was the most likely thing to do. If he didn't he'd end up having to placate her for hours, or rub her feet. He didn't really mind, but he was tired. He'd had a long day, hours of training, and a briefing for a mission he'd be taking in a few days.

He shook his head at the thought of himself taking extra missions. Not like him at all, but he figured if he wanted to take care of his wife and child, then he'd better do something. After all, she wouldn't be able to work for at least a year after giving birth, and he hoped to have her pregnant again by htat time.

So, he'd just had to give up his lazy, lazy ways and make a bit of extra cash. Not so bad, he told himself daily. It had to be worth it. Children were supposed to be lots of fun.

Though they required work.

But Ino wanted babies too. So he kind of had to do something.

Oh well.

'What do you need at the market, dear? I found a place that has those milk candies,' he offered. 'It took a while, but they got them in.'

'I need…' she paused for a moment, considering, 'saltwater taffy,' she finised.

'Saltwater taffy?' she nodded at him. 'No problem dear,' he smirked.

'I want apple flavor, and I want mint, and strawberry, and I want some of the toffee flavor taffies,' she smiled, imagining the flavors in her mouth, and the satisfying chew of good taffy.

'Okay dear,' shikamaru sighed, and walked out of the large house they shared with a small family. They had it split down the middle, and each family paid for half of everything. It was much more cost effective that way. After all, lazy as he was, he had his pride, and he didn't want to borrow money off of Ino's parents. His own would help if he asked, but he didn't.

He could support his wife and child all by himself, thank you very much.

A few hours later, Shikamaru ran into Naruto and Sakura. He was panting heavily, and had a worried look on his face.

'What's the matter?' Sakura asked solicitously. 'Is Ino running you off your feet again?' she laughed.

'Sort of,' he replied, abashed. 'I've been looking for saltwater taffy for her, because she has a craving, but I cant find any in Konoha.'

'Really?' Naruto asked. 'Why don't you just take her some ramen? Ramen makes everything better.'

Sakura glared at her old friend. He still hadn't learned, although Hinata wasn't the type to make any demands of her husband. She was too busy worshipping him.

Although to be fair, Naruto worshipped his sweet little wife as well.

'Saltwater taffy?' she mused. 'Didn't the small shop at the edge of the village on the Waterfall side have some?'

'No. I've been there.' He replied. 'There is no saltwater taffy in Konoha.'

'I wonder why?' Naruto mused.

'It's not easy to make, Naruto kun,' Sakura offered. 'No one really likes making it because it's messy, and takes a whole lot of work to do. Not to mention it has to be really hot for a while before you can do anything with it.'

'Oh,' he replied. 'Then why did people invent it?'

Sakura could only chuckle at that. 'You figure the confectioner would have ordered some if they didn't want to make it, wouldn't you?'

Shikamaru sighed. 'This isn't helping me any. I have to find some, or Ino will be…angry.' Sakura could feel his shudder at that.

'Okay Shikamaru, we'll help you find some.' Sakura offered.

'You're such a –'

'Are you sure you want to say that, Naruto kun?' sakura asked sweetly.

'Eh-heh. Umm, say what? I wasn't going to say anything.' He replied, scratching at the back of his head.

'Good boy, or I might not do your laundry while Hinata chan is away for that Hyuuga clan function.' She threatened.

Inner Sakura cheered her on, 'yatta! Good girl! Don't put up with that crap from the Naruto boy. And don't put up with crap from Ino pig's husband, either.'

'So what do we do?' she asked Naruto and Shikamaru. 'Do we send out a distress call to all the hidden villages for saltwater taffy for a pregnant woman?'

'I can't help with this one, Sakura,' Naruto offered sheepishly. 'I have a lot of practice to do. Jiraya sensei has a move he wants to teach me, and then I'm playing with something new on the Rasengan.'

'Well then,' she said. –Traitor!- inner Sakura screamed. 'How are we doing this, Shikamaru?'

'Umm,' he shifted his eyes sideways, towards the back of the retreating Naruto.

'You have no idea either, do you?'

'Umm, sorry?' he shrugged. 'I don't know what to do. Ino will freak out if I can't find her any of this taffy stuff.'

'Can you pacify her with something else in the meantime? She's a cutie. She'll calm donw once she knows people are trying to help her.' Sakura offered with a half smile.

It was true that Ino was a cutie, but she wasn't sure how true it would be about her calming donw.

'I have an idea,' Sakura mused.

'I'll just bring her some of the milk candies until we can find the stuff.' He offered, lazily. 'How soon do you think you can find it?'

'Well,' she gave him the look. 'I can't expect you to leave your pregnant wife while you search for saltwater taffy, so I guess I'll have to ask for some help.' She looked over at him slyly.

'How much?'

'Cost of taffy, and whatever the others want. I'm on days off from the hospital right now.' She grumbled. 'Tsunade sensei decided I needed a vacation or I'd go nuts. So I'm pretty bored.'

'Who are you going to ask?' he queried.

'I don't know. I'll let you know when I put a team together.'

Shikamaru sighed at the retreating pink haired kunoichi. Who knew finding some saltwater taffy would turn into a mission that required a team of seasoned shinobi to complete?

He sighed again, slumped his shoulders and went in search of the chewy milk candies.

Poor Ino.

Poor himself.

Subaku no Hime: read, and please review. Rapunzel on crack, and saltwater taffy instead of rampion. If anyone has an idea what rampion is, let me know in review please. I'd like to see what everyone's opinion is.

Rating will go up sooner or later, but I don't know how much.