Don't own anything, except for my ideas.
Fiction or Reality?
It's as if I can't think! My head is swarming with all the possibilities of many thoughts none that I won't to open up or even go into. If I could choose when to try and when to turn away then it would make my life quite a bit easier, but that won't happen until I deal with the matter at hand. The one that is surrounding my most inner thoughts, the one that will help me deal with my concerns and my battle. My thoughts are like a fight that I can't seem to win no matter what I try to do.
The only way that I can probably win this is to call off the whole thing until I have some grip on what seems to be affecting me. In addition, there's only a small group that I can rely on for the necessary support that I need to help me get my thoughts back together. In all my years I have never been this conflicted before, never so confused or faced with so much turmoil that I'd ever be forced to reconsider doing the one thing that matters the most to me, but being away from those which can help me make sense of things that to me hurts more than anything.
That's why it's impossible for me to even consider talking to my superiors about what's going on with me. I need to be able to focus on my job but in order to do that I will first need to be able to rely on myself and believe in what I can do in order to know that I can count on myself and my instincts when the time or situation arises.
I never thought a time would come when I'd have to rely on those who I know but barely know to help me make sense of what's going on. I may know her but when it comes to being outside of my reality, it challenges me to believe that I can't be wrong that I need to try and remember that promise I made to her on the day that we made a commitment to be together. All that I can think about is that all my alternate lives are closing in on me to the point that I can't seem to tell the real from the made-up anymore. All I know is that if I want to keep myself from going insane, I need to spend some time in reality getting back in touch with who I really am. Which is why I have to break away from the job for a little while and try to reconnect with my loved ones?
Fiona had been noticing a change in Adam's personality one that she knew wasn't a very good one. Yet noticing it was one thing doing something about it was going to be something completely different. She knew that one way to get through to Adam was with their job and the other was with the twos pride and joy the most precious thing in their lives next to each other and that would be there beautiful little boy Wesley. It was very unusual to see a pile of case reports sitting on Adam's desk, past the deadline to hand them into Harry for his closure of the mission. What was even more unusual was the fact that Adam himself was nowhere in sight, with a very angry and rampaging Harry looking for him and his teams reports.
"Has anyone seen Adam?" asked Harry in an open-ended question to all those in the grid at the moment
"Not in a few hours" came back from one of his junior agents (who's not on Adam's team)
"Same, haven't seen him since he came back from lunch Harry. And that was over three hours ago" came Ruth's voice from behind a case folder she was looking over
"Fiona, have you seen you husband?" Harry asked with the slightest hitch of concern
"Sorry Harry, I just got in a little over an hour ago, myself and I haven't even seen him since we parted ways this morning from the house. Which I find quite strange since Wes was a bit under the weather this morning and Adam was worried about him" supplied Fiona with a slight hint of concern for both her husband and child in her voice
"Then where is he? Malcolm, locate Adam's cell now" Harry called out,
"I'm on it," said Malcolm, in a rush to reach his computer and start the trace on his missing colleague and friend.