I'm such an ass.

I can't believe I did that.

I didn't even apologize and now I can't fix it.

I didn't even try to make it right. Maybe if I had, we'd still be together.

I would still be with you. I would still be in your arms and in your heart.

I can still hear you laugh as I tried to sing to you after our first date. I can still here you telling me that mine was the best version of L-O-V-E that you had ever heard. I can still here you humming to me as I fell asleep on your shoulder in your apartment. Best damn pillow I ever had.

Now, as look through the plexi-glass, I realize that I didn't, don't and will never deserve you or your heart. I know that now and I know that you do too.

All I want to do is to tell you that I'm sorry. Even though I know it won't do any good. I wish that somehow I could make up for what I've done to you.

Why did break your heart? Do you really want to know?

I broke your heart because I knew that no matter what I did, I would always end up hurting you. I would have broken your heart eventually over something that I know I would do in the future. Actually, come to think of it, I saved you from a lot of heartache and pain.

I know that it probably doesn't mean very much to you now but I am sorry. I am really, really sorry for what I did, but I wouldn't change what I did even if it could have lasted. It sucks that I can't tell all of this because then you would see how sorry I am, but I know that I can't because you'll probably never want to speak to me again.

I used to stare at you through the plexi-glass. I watched you drink your coffee and eat your doughnut, but not enjoy either one. I heard you laugh at jokes, listen to friends and give advice, all the while I knew that your heart wasn't in it at all… all because I broke it. I didn't just break your heart, I shattered it into a million pieces and I'm sorry.

I know that this probably means even less then my apology. Even so, here it goes.

I loved you. I really, really did.

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I know that with a little work, we could become friends again, though never as close as we were before.

I see you now slowly coming back from what I did to you. I see you smile and laugh and I know that it is for real. I also see him. I see him pick you up from work. I see him make you blush and laugh at the same time, every time. That is something I could never really accomplish. You only ended up just laughing or just smiling.

God, I miss your smile.

I miss you laugh, too.

I miss your kiss and your caress.

Most of all, I miss you.

I miss everything little thing you did to irritate me but only made me love you more.

I guess ol' what's his face is better for you in the long run. He really loves you and would probably never hurt you intentionally, or unintentionally. I know that you love him back just as much and I'm happy that you've found someone that makes you happy. I just wish that that someone were me sometimes.

Just to sum it all up. I'm happy that you're happy even if your happiness makes me sad. I loved you but I hurt you and I'm sorry. I wish I could go back but I can't.

I'm sorry.

Author's Note – No person is mentioned, therefore making this even territory for all CSI: Miami fans. If you like Speed and Calleigh, then good for you. If you like Speed and Horatio, good for you, too. If you like Speed and Eric, then… good for you as well.