A/N: The Gilmore Girls revival (which I am ridiculously excited for) has inspired me.
So here's my take at giving Literati the story they deserve. Hope you enjoy and looking forward to your thoughts.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls
Preface:
Jess Mariano was nothing like Holden Caulfield. Jess Mariano was nothing like Holden Caulfield because Holden Caulfield didn't leave at the end of the story.
"All I'm saying is that I don't understand why everyone is trying so hard." He let out a small puff of smoke. I didn't even try to not be irritated. We had only known each other for sixteen days and he irritated me beyond infinity.
"Those things will kill you." I retorted, tucking a lost strand of hair behind my ear. His sharp eyes zeroed in on me.
"And you would care about this… why?" I expected this question, so my answer was easily given.
"I don't. I would not however like to see Luke sad. Your death would make him feel like a failure." I said matter-of-factly.
"Well, that would be his problem."
"Plus, it makes your teeth yellow and your breath smell." I don't know why I said that, but I did. And I sounded like a ten-year-old.
"Now why would you care about that?" He sat up slightly. I suppressed a small gasp.
"I would hate to see the members of my own sex bereft of the opportunity."
"Opportunity of what?" He asked, trying not to act eager.
"Strolling arm in arm with you on a Sunday, of course." I smiled thinly. I sighed when he didn't react. He only looked at me. He looked at me a lot. I had not decided yet how that made me feel. It had nothing to do with my break-up with Dean. Well, maybe a little. But it had nothing to do with Dean, just the fact that he had dumped me and… how could I already feel something for this boy? Oh who was I kidding? This man. At least he thought he was. He was a regular Holden Caulfield. I bet he drank too.
"Why do you feel as if people are trying too hard?" I wondered out loud.
"I didn't say too hard." He corrected me. "I said they were trying so hard."
"But you implied…"
"I didn't imply, you inferred." He tossed the cancer stick on the curb and raised his eyebrows. "Happy?" Again that annoying strand of hair. I pushed it back behind my ear and caught Jess watching me.
"I didn't ask you to do that." I whispered, rolling my eyes at him.
"Yet I did it anyway." He said slowly, as if I was supposed to attach some meaning to it. He didn't know that I already had. I watched how he acted around me, compared to around others. He did act differently around me. Not always nice, definitely not always honest, but always, always attentive. Not that he was overly concerned about my needs, but he was always ever observant.
"You threw it on the ground." I accused.
"What's the problem? I should recycle it?"
"You should throw it in the trash can." I replied, feeling pettish.
"I will do that after I attend mass on Sunday." He said sarcastically.
"I'll be sure to let Mrs Kim know you'll be attending." I couldn't help but chuckle as he repressed a shudder at the mention of Mrs Kim. "You can be such a jerk sometimes." I added as an afterthought.
"Then why are you still talking to me?" He replied calmly.
"What do you mean?" I flinched at my own words.
"You're the town princess, aren't ya?" He taunted me easily. "You shouldn't be conversing with a young hoodlum like me." The sentence was only half-jesting.
"I don't know why you are even talking to me. You're obviously annoyed and think I'm stuck up."
"Yup." He glanced at my incredulous eyes. "It rhymed with 'up'". He shrugged.
And that's how it always went. We talked and wondered why we talked to each other. Yet we could not stop talking to each other. Even if it hurt.
"Why are you even with her?" I was standing outside in my pretty red dress and my pretty red lips. I should have felt amazing. It should have felt powerful.
Yet he brought her to the dance marathon. He should've just punched me in the gut, that would have hurt less.
"You know why." He gave me that condescending smirk. I gave him a long observing look and shrugged.
"I. am. Such. An. Idiot." I punctuated every word clearly. I didn't wait for his response, I walked back in the ballroom without looking back.
Why did we talk to one another? It wasn't because we were friends. It wasn't because we read the same books. It wasn't because we had such opposing characters. By the time we found out the reason, he was already gone.
Jess Mariano is nothing like Holden Caulfield.
I could've loved a Holden Caulfield.