Disclaimer: Still don't own Chuck, but if I did, oh boy, the fun I would have, haha.

A/N: Okay, so I'm continuing the saga of the "Adorable Psycho" once again, and this time, it's a multi-parter. I hadn't intended for it to be that at first, but this story just kept growing! I really think this is the best of the bunch, so far, but I'll leave that for you to decide. This will probably be two or three chapters when it's all said and done with, I'm thinking. Now, some folks have voiced a bit of apprehension about Sarah behaving in such a sociopathic fashion. To those people I say: sorry! That's just the story I want to tell with this Sarah. She's a lot of fun to write, and she's just so loveable, even if she is terrifying, haha. Now, this part doesn't have quite as many laughs, I think, but this has always been about dark comedy anyway, so it is what it is, I suppose. Thank you as always to the great MXPW for some key input, helping me sort out my many scatter-brained ideas, and for the encouragement to write this. If you like it, why not drop him a line and say thanks. If you don't like it, I assure you, it's all my fault. I really hope you enjoy the story, and I look forward to your feedback. Thanks!

Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law

Part 1: Temptation's Bitch

Cast in order of appearance

Sarah Walker --- Yvonne Strahovski
Brunette Skank 1 --- Kate Beckinsale
Brunette Skank 2 --- Megan Fox

Buy More Plaza
Burbank, California
November, 2010

Sarah hated rules. Her dad taught her at a young age that rules were meant to be broken. The CIA had taught her the same lesson. True, the agency had their own rules, that they suggested agents follow, but they constantly looked the other way as long as the job got done.

That's why when Chuck had insisted that if their relationship were to continue that they'd have to set up some basic ground rules, Sarah had balked at the idea. But when he said that he couldn't continue to date her unless they came to a formal agreement on proper behavior within the confines of their relationship, she'd folded like a cheap suit. She'd never regretted agreeing to Chuck's stupid rules more than she had that week.

If Chuck realized how much restraint Sarah had shown over the past couple of days, he'd be so proud of her. True, she'd gotten herself into the position to have to show that kind of restraint, but that wasn't important. What was important was that she was living by the letter of Chuck's law, if not the spirit.

The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement Article 3.1

Sarah Walker, hereinafter called Sarah, shall agree that during a given week (constituted by seven continuous calendar days), to kill no more than three (3) people for any personal or other non-professional reasons, except in matters of self-defense as defined by paragraph four (4) of article three (3). Shall this limit be exceeded, Chuck Bartowski reserves the right to "cut off" (withholding of coitus, or any other form of physical intimacy) Sarah for a period of time that shall be no longer than nine (9) days, but no fewer than five (5) days.

So after choking a man to death on Monday for dinging the door to her Porsche and laughing about it; stabbing a rude customer who thought the best tip he could give her was a slap on the ass, in the throat with a pencil and watching him bleed out on Tuesday; then later that same Tuesday, capping a man outside the Buy More that threatened Chuck that he would "stomp a mud hole in his ass" for not accepting an exchange with no receipt; Sarah was on very thin ice.

Normally she dreaded possibly going over her limit for a week. It was bad enough that Chuck wouldn't even touch her after her violation of the rule, but his disappointment in her made it even worse. And she was really scared that one day, he would just up and leave her, despite his insistence that he wouldn't.

But this week she was motivated by more than her normal fears. This was not the week that she could afford to be cut off. Her first anniversary with Chuck was on Wednesday. They'd been dating, for real, for a whole year! She and Bryce had anniversaries, but they never celebrated them. Chuck, on the other hand, had gone all out.

He'd booked them reservations at some swanky restaurant – which he wouldn't tell Sarah where, and although she knew she could find out if she wanted, she decided to let him surprise her. He'd bought her a present that promised to be both beautiful, and touching. He'd reserved them a room at a five star hotel, so that they would feel like they were getting away, even though their lives as spies wouldn't actually allow for them to get away. He'd really set up the perfect night, and Sarah wasn't going to allow her impulses to ruin it before it began.

So when she asked her local grocer if he had any fresh apples in the back, because all of the ones on display were soft, and many of them had spots, and he'd insisted that they "talk about melons, not apples" as he stared at her chest, she resisted the urge to snap his neck right where he stood.

When the pizza delivery guy had brought her a pie loaded with olives, she'd managed not to track down his car and run him off the road.

Hell, she'd even managed to avoid killing Jeff when she found the toilet-cam he'd installed in the employees only restroom at the Orange Orange.

And she'd almost made it. It was Sunday, so she had just two more days, and she'd be free to exact justice on whomever she decided deserved said justice for another week.

Of course, as fate would have it, she wasn't done being tested. She was far from it.

Sarah walked happily across the parking lot of the Buy More Plaza. It was just about Chuck's lunch time, and she had very specific plans for just what her nerd was going to eat during his break. Hint: it wasn't food.

As she made her way through the last line of cars, she heard a conversation that made her ears perk up.

"Did you see that cutie in the Buy More?" one woman said.

Sarah prayed to God that the woman was weird and was talking about Casey. Or maybe she was really weird and was talking about Morgan. Just don't let it be Chuck.

"Oh my God! Yes! I didn't know they made nerds like that!" another woman exclaimed.

Yep. They were talking about Chuck. Casey certainly wasn't a nerd, and Morgan…well, he was Morgan. She knew from the beginning they weren't talking about him when she was honest with herself.

"I've been eyeing him for a couple of weeks now," the first woman said.

So, this skank had been stalking Sarah's Chuck, had she? Well, she better had been just looking.

"He has the most beautiful eyes!" the second woman said. "And that curly mop of brown hair…"

Sarah couldn't disagree with that assessment. Chuck really did have the most soulful, kind eyes Sarah had ever seen. And she loved his curly hair. That said, those eyes, and that hair belonged to Sarah! Not these hussies! Sarah took a peak at the gaggling bitties. It was exactly what she'd feared. They were gaggling brunette bitties.

Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement, Article 5.2:

Chuck shall agree that he will limit contact with any woman with brunette hair to matters of a professional nature, except in cases specified in paragraph four (4) of article five (5).

Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement, Article 5.4:

Chuck's contact with brunettes in a personal setting shall be permitted under only the following circumstances:

-The woman in question is Ellie Bartowski-Woodcomb (Chuck's sister)
-The woman in question is handicapped, and needs assistance (in this case, Chuck is to limit contact to that which is absolutely necessary to aiding her)
-Sarah has dyed her hair brown for some God forsaken reason, in which case Chuck is permitted as much contact as he wants with that particular brunette…over and over again, if he so chooses, or if Sarah decides he is going to regardless of his wishes.

Sarah smiled briefly recalling the nervous reaction she'd gotten from her boyfriend when she'd brought forth that particular provision. The smile quickly faded, however, when she remembered just why she was even thinking about the contract. The two brunette bitches that were discussing her Chuck.

"So what's the story with him?" Sarah heard one of the women ask.

"Oh, he's got a girlfriend," was the answer given by the woman who said she'd been keeping an eye on Chuck.

Well, at least these two whores knew the score. Surely now, they'd go about their day and leave their school girl crushes on Sarah's property as just that: a crush, and Sarah wouldn't have to risk endangering her upcoming celebration. But then…

"Well," one of the women drawled. "It's not like that's ever stopped us before."

And as the two women laughed, Sarah's rage grew. Not only were they both sluts. They were a slut team, for crying out loud. God, she wanted nothing more than to rip out the heart of both women and watch the life expire from their eyes. But she couldn't. There still had been no inappropriate social contact, and protocol dictated that she had to wait for that.

"But wait," one of the women said. "His girlfriend is that really pretty blonde over at Orange Orange."

"A food service employee?" the other one asked with a chuckle.

"I know," the first one said. "How will two very highly successful business women such as ourselves compete with the likes of a woman that spends her days making minimum wage preparing frozen treats for the masses?" she asked sarcastically.

"Sorry yogurt girl," the second one snorted.

Sarah was now shaking with anger. She would literally give almost anything to be able to kill these stupid tramps. But she would not give up her evening with Chuck, and that's what was really on the line. Dammit, if only the addendum she'd tried to get passed the previous month had gone through!

The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement failed amendment 27:

If Chuck engages in contact with a brunette that Sarah deems inappropriate, Sarah reserves the right to kill the brunette under protection from article three (3) paragraph one (1), as the death will fall under special provision two (2) from article three (3) paragraph four (4) as it relates to "protecting her territory". Such action shall not be deemed permissible, however, unless Chuck actually engages the woman in question in conversation. Petty jealousy (as discussed in paragraph three (3) of article four (4)) is not grounds for Sarah to kill said woman.

Sarah was so incensed, she didn't even notice the two women walking towards her.

"Speak of the devil," one of the brunettes said flippantly, bringing Sarah's attention back to the present. "I guess you heard every word of that?" the woman asked.

Not waiting for Sarah's answer, the other broad spoke up. "Well, you should know, Blondie, that there's nothing you can do to stop us. If we want your boyfriend, we'll take him."

"Yeah, but don't worry," the first woman said. "When we finish with him, you can have him back," she added with a laugh.

Now both women were laughing. They were laughing at her. And they were talking about sleeping with her Chuck. Sarah saw red, and any thoughts of keeping her agreement with Chuck flew right out the window.

Sarah grabbed one of the women by the collar and slammed her into a nearby car. With her first victim momentarily stunned, the blonde turned her attention back to the other woman who was starting to run. Her flight was short, however, as Sarah swept her legs out from under her, sending her crashing to the ground. She picked the woman up off the pavement and tossed her head-first against the door of the car her friend was laid against.

Sarah stared down at her prey, two weak and defenseless and terrified whores. Sarah didn't feel like being merciful.

She didn't know how long it had been. It could have been hours, but the fact that the two women who lay sprawled on the ground in a pool of their own blood were still breathing indicated it had probably only been a couple of minutes. That's when Sarah regained her wits. That's when she realized what she'd done.

Shit! What was she supposed to do? Chuck would probably be coming out the doors to the Buy More any second now, and here were these two nearly dead bodies at Sarah's feet. She had to do something.

Thinking quickly, Sarah rushed over to her car. God, she hated to think about how hard it would be to get the blood out of her upholstery, but there were worse things in the world to deal with. Like, for instance, not being able to be with her boyfriend on their anniversary.

Sarah pulled up next to the two fallen potential romantic rivals and ran around to the passenger's side door. Throwing it open, she haphazardly piled both women into the seat, shut the door, got back behind and the wheel, and took off.

Her first instinct was to drive somewhere to dispose of the bodies. Of course, Chuck would no doubt figure out what happened later, and she'd be in trouble for what happened, and for lying to him. No, the best thing to do was to be honest.

Then something occurred to Sarah: these women weren't dead. They were still breathing, if only barely. If she could get them to a hospital, she could possibly save their lives, and thereby save her anniversary celebration with Chuck. It was the perfect plan, really. After all, there was no rule against beating the shit out of two deserving sluts. All she needed to do was keep them alive for a couple more days. "You better not die on me, you skanks," Sarah spoke through clenched teeth.

A/N: Next time, we find out how Sarah deals with the situation she's put herself in, and how she tries to save her anniversary. Hope you enjoyed this, and please review. You guys are awesome. Peace.