Disclaimer:
I Aslansphoenix declare that I do not own 'Peter Pan', Neverland or anything that you find familiar. Technically some of the characters did come from my head ... but I think they belong to Neverland just as much as any canon characters.
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Author's Note:
This is an interesting story ... at least it is for me to think about. Whether it is to read; I'll wait and see.
Very Long Author's note at the end.
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"All Children Grow up Except One"
Everyone Knows about Neverland,
About the home of Peter Pan.
Second to the Right, and Straight on till Morning.
To the place between dreaming and awakening.
Where one never grows old,
And dull memories fade.
There are rules in Neverland
Rules that must be obeyed.
Peter Pan is King of the Island,
His emotions control the seasons,
He is the one who can never grow up,
He is youth, and joy, and all things extraordinary.
But There are other Rules, for me and you,
Rules and Roles that must be followed, it's true.
"Girls are too clever to fall out of their prams",
So it's only Lost Boys find themselves in Neverland.
(Perhaps ... regardless, of the body they were born with ...)
Boys forget much easier than Girls,
They forget their homes and their families while in Neverland.
Yet when they return; they soon forget their adventures with Pan.
Girls remember though, and while it may be hard,
They remember the warmth, support and love.
(They're always torn between staying and going ...)
"No Girl can resist Peter Pan,
When he uses a specific voice."
(They all love him, is there ever a choice?)
In Neverland there are roles to be...
Boys are Lost, or Indians, or Pirates, or the odd Fairy.
Girls are Mothers, or Mermaids, or Indian Warriors true,
Or Fairies, or very occasionally; a Lost Girl too.
(If some Fairies can be in-between,
why not the more complex humans?)
All Children Grow Up, Except One.
Neverland is a place of Adventure and Fun.
There are Roles and Rules,
That shall be followed through
One more thing, which is True ...
In Neverland, You learn all about You.
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Chapter One.
George knew all the family stories.
George was the only child of James Darling, son of John Darling who was one of the brothers to the infamous story-teller Wendy Darling.
George knew all the family stories, the official versions, and the unofficial.
The most favoured story was the time when Grandfather John had been a child; he, Wendy and their younger brother Micheal had disappeared one night, they had reappeared months later with a bunch of orphaned boys.
The official report was that the children had only intended to leave for a night, but had gotten lost and had started living with some street-kids. Eventually they found their way home, bringing the orphaned street-kids with them and then Great-Grandmother Mary and Great-Grandfather George (whom this George was named in honour of) adopted the new children. The official story was very smooth, calm and a nice little 'good-Samaritan/appreciate your home' type of story. That was the story Grandfather John had told once, when pestered for an answer; though he had been vague on details.
The unofficial one told, was much more entertaining.
Apparently the Darling children had met a magical flying boy named Peter Pan, he had taught them to fly (Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust - George remember learning that part the hard way) and they had flown to a magical island called Neverland. There had been many exciting adventures; fighting Pirates, interacting with Indians and playing with mermaids and fairies. It always sounded exciting and engaging. After a time; the original children had returned to their parents; a group of Lost Boys in tow.
They had all grown-up, most had married and had children. Wendy had a daughter named Jane, who apparently had gone on to visit Neverland herself as a child. Now their children were grown and had their own kids - George included. Although; they were spread out across Great Britain, and a few families even lived across oceans; they still managed to be a kind of close family. Well close enough for most people to meet up at Christmas time.
All (well most) of the Darling Descendants (children and grand-children of Wendy and her brothers) referred to each other as cousins. Be they first, second, once, or twice removed (it'll got very confusing in George's mind) - they were all family. It meant that even though George was an only child, it never felt that way.
Many of the extended family, and quite often their friends and the other children of Dowling Street, would often converged to the Original Darling house, to sit in the old nursery and listen to stories told by Granny Wendy. That was how she was known to everyone; except for her actually grandchildren. They just called her Granny.
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Of course some families were closer than others. George had six cousins that were actually first cousins. Mary-Anne and Jeanette were the daughters of James Darling's sister Lillian; but they lived in America and only saw each other every few years or so. George's Mother, Annie, was the youngest of three siblings; and they all lived in the same area of London.
Aunt Ruth was the middle child and George privately thought of her as Aunt Ruthless. She was a cold, hard, driven woman, who was very good at getting her own way. She wasn't a horrible person; there were many legends about cruel villains cowering in fear from Ruth's iron stare as she protected some 'underdog' (admittedly there were a few times where the person hadn't needed protecting). But she had a way of looking down on everyone and making them feel small. She also found fault with everyone ... except for her children.
The twins - Mitchell and Eliza. George's least favourite cousins.
They were 11, a year older than George, and attended George's school. Mitchell was the school bully; helped by his height and muscle; he could pass for a teenager when he wished to. His favourite victim was, of course; George. Luckily George had a large enough group of friends (made up of other cousins and regular school chums) who helped keep Mitchell to verbal insults more than physical bullying.
Eliza ... actually wasn't the worst; she could be quite kind and caring at times, but she was also very self-absorbed - or more accurately; she was a spoiled brat. Everything had to be her way or in her favour, or there would be consequences. She was quite good at manipulating adults into thinking she was an angel and the others were at fault.
Naturally, they were both Aunt Ruthless's blind spot; to her they were absolute perfection. The worst thing about the two though; was that they both liked to behave as if they were older (and therefore better) than everyone else. It made George sick, that neither of them ever seemed to enjoy being their age. Thus George tended to avoid those particular cousins whenever possible.
The other set of first cousins were far more enjoyable to be around.
Annie and Ruth's older half brother was called Taran. Taran Jackson was as unlike the iron-willed Ruth or George's own soft-spoken, but uptight Mother, as could be. He was quite ... wild. He traveled the world and seemed to thrive when being outdoors. He was loud and brash and didn't seem to have the over-bearing sense of propriety that English Gentlemen were expected to have. Taran was the main source of George's knowledge on camping and survival skills, and he was definitely one of George's favourite family members. In fact George adored all the Jackson family.
Partly; because it allowed George to be closer to the Darling side of George's family.
Taran had, against all 'sensibilities', fallen in love with one of Annie's close school mates. She had just so happened to be Jane, daughter of Wendy. Jane had grown up to be a well-respected lady, she was highly intelligent, with a flair for languages and was a skilled artist. She could be over-eager, dramatic and a bit too talkative at times, and if she scolded you; you always remembered it. But Jane was still wonderful to spend time with, and all the cousins knew to go to Jane if they had trouble with any school lessons.
Jane and Taran had two daughters - Margaret and Angela.
Margaret was 12, almost 13; one of the oldest of the youngest set of second generation Darling Descendants. It was unanimously agreed among all younger than her, that she was their favourite, due to being the group mama. Margaret was the most quiet of her family, she preferred books to rough-housing with the group, liked to follow rules and had a disappointed stare that no one wanted to experience.
But she was also calm, elegant, genuinely kind and was confident in herself - without ever being arrogant about it. Margaret had an unassuming way of being in the right place at the right time; she was very sensible - while everyone else (George included) would be scrabbling around searching for a solution from outside the box, Margaret would calmly survey the scene then walk over and find the obvious answer; sitting inside the box. the one place, most people would never look.
The best thing about Margaret, was that - while her feet were planted firmly on the ground, her head was able to be flying in the clouds. Margaret had a kind of maturity that Eliza pretended to have, yet was able to appreciate and sometimes participate in things others thought were 'too childish'. She believed in the fantasies of her cousins, and the magic of childhood.
George knew growing up was unavoidable, and an adventure to look forward to, but one could (and should) still enjoy being a child while able. Margaret did, and George loved her all the more for it. Even if she didn't like playing in the mud with them.
Then there was Angela.
If ever pressed, George would be forced to admit to being slightly scared of the youngest Jackson. Angela was seven years old and extremely energetic, she was very fluid in her emotions and would flit from one to another. Angela would put everything into whatever one emotion she was feeling (she never seemed to feel more than one at a time) - everyone felt lucky that Angela was rarely angry or sad.
Angela was very girly, loved all things sparkly and adorable; she and her friends were always keen to play dress-up, or fairy princesses. George did feel slightly guilty about finding that a tad (and it was only a tad) bit endearing, when George found the girl-girlness an irritating trait in Eliza. Perhaps it was because it seemed to be who Angela genuinely was, while it always felt more put-on by Eliza.
Angela's endless energy and extreme emotions (plus her odd expression with all things sparkly) would be enough to rightfully terrify anyone, but they were also endearing qualities that most people loved about the young girl. What scared George though; was the knowledge in her eyes, a depth that made George feel that there was so much more to Angela than there was to most people.
Angela, like her Mother, was a skilled artist - far beyond her age level. When she drew she became quite and focused. Considered unnatural when most people, outside of her immediate family, were used to her bouncing off the walls and speaking a mile a minute. But it was when she was drawing that the depth in her eyes showed the most. With just a look Angela seemed to be able to strip away the layers of a person, and see them for exactly who they really were. And she was skilled enough to capture it on paper.
That was what scared George about Angela. That she seemed to know George, more than George felt comfortable with being known.
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Despite being scared by the younger girl, George did adore the whole family. George never felt uncomfortable with any them, they (like Granny Wendy) made George feel accepted. Because; with almost anyone else George almost always felt a sense of un-comfortablness, that just wouldn't go away.
It wasn't like with Vincent or Eustace from school.
Vincent was just weird and never seemed capable of being normal. George and George's group of friends, never mocked him and sometimes remembered to try and include him in games, they were certainly nicer to him than Mitchell. But no matter what Vincent was just odd and couldn't fit in. Eustace on the other hand, chose to isolate himself. He was a loner and a bit of a jerk, he was always against everyone, and behaved as though everyone were against him. It was like Eustace would disagree with anything, just for disagreement's sake.
No, George's un-comfortableness wasn't anything like those two extremes.
George generally got on quite well with other people. Unlike Eustace, George had no problem with liking the same things as other people; in fact it was fun to have a group of friends who enjoyed similar adventure stories, and who liked to play the same rough-and-tumble games. people who respected George's opinion, and whom George could respect in turn. And unlike Vincent, George knew when it was better to keep the mouth shut.
It was not so much that George couldn't (or wouldn't) fit in, but more ... an on the edge of George's awareness of something just not being right.
George had always gotten on better playing with the boys than the girls (although there was a pact between some of the cousins, to never reveal that they secretly enjoyed being forced into playing tea-party with the girls). Not that George thought guys were better than girls; Maria (George's best friend) was proof enough of that. Maria could spit, kick, bite and fight better than most of the boys in their year. She was a spitfire that proudly lead them into battle during their games.
But George couldn't help but notice that there was something ... undeniably female about Maria. She would proudly exclaim that 'she was a girl, and she could kick their butts!' before doing anything, yet there were, well, more girly moments.
George hoped Maria would never find out these thoughts, it would cause George a lot of physical pain, but they were true. Like the fact that George had once caught her twirling in the dress her mother had forced her to wear. It was another 'take-the-secret-to-the-grave' type situation (George felt privately that Maria had been quite pretty, not that she wasn't always ...). Or that, sometimes Maria would absentmindedly twirl a strand of her hair; like Margaret or Nicole, and even Eliza and her girl friends would often do.
It was the little things that reminded George; that even though Maria was a tough Tom-Boy, she was still a girl ... and despite her pretenses; she was comfortable being a girl. What really sealed that knowledge in George's mind; had been one of the times Maria had joined the cousins for story time at Granny Wendy's home.
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George loved going to Granny Wendy's.
Granny Wendy was a remarkable Lady, Angela had once described her as being a 'wondrous mix of Springtime and Starlight'. George wasn't much for metaphors, but that that worked for her. Wendy was an old lady, with white hair and wrinkles, but there was still something so beautiful about her. George thought it was her personality/characteristics just shining through. Wendy was the Lady who chose to grow up, but despite physically and mentally being an adult; she still maintained the heart of a child. She truly believed in magic, in fairies ... in everything that most grown-ups did not.
George was not a natural leader. Did not like being put in charge of the group games, was content to let Maria make most of the decisions, and you couldn't get George up on stage for a presentation if anyone's life depended on it. George definitely preferred to allow others to be in charge, and to sit back and observe.
Nothing as soul-baring as what Angela was capable of, but George could pick up on the little things, that others were aware of, but tended to ignore. Everyone went through a faze where they doubted Granny Wendy's stories. It generally seemed to be when people got to 14 or 15, sometimes the doubting began a lot earlier and occasionally some would last right until being considered an adult. But the doubting always occurred.
Some people went the extreme disdainful 'Those-stories-are-so-silly-and-childish' way; They became quite frustrating to deal with. Every now and then; one of the oh-so-against-the-stories people would mellow, or do an turn-about and slide back into listening to the stories. Thankfully most of the extended family dealt with their doubts in a more privet manner, allowing the kids to keep believing.
George felt it was a better but more sad way.
Benjamin was the grandson of Curly Darling, and in George's opinion; one of the coolest cousins. He had started to doubt around 13, but he kept attending the family gatherings and listening to the tales; even at 17. George had once asked him whether he believed in Peter Pan. George remembered the answer well.
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"Hey Benny ..."
"Yeah Kiddo?"
"Do you believe in Peter Pan?"
"... Why do you ask kid? Are you doubting?"
"Grandfather John is very adamant that they never flew to a magical place called Neverland. But there many arguments for the stories being true - like all the little details that don't change. And I know you don't believe in the magic of it, but you still listen and encourage us to believe, but well ... what do you believe?"
"The truth kid?"
"Duh. Please."
"I ... don't believe that they ever flew off to Neverland, I don't believe they ever interacted with Pirates or Indians or ... the fantastical elements of the stories -"
It was a common politeness amongst the cousins to never say that fairies weren't real. Mostly because it would start a riot with the younger kids chanting about how much they do believe (George would freely admit to having fun on such a chanting riot).
"- But I do believe that Peter Pan was a real boy. I think maybe; they ran away and lived on the streets with Pan and the Lost Boys. Maybe they had run-ins with drunks or people that could be portrayed as Indians. I think the adventures have a basis in reality, but amplified by childish imagination. Fantasy to make dealing with Reality Easier. And honestly I think that Pan actually ... ah Never mind."
"What? I'll keep bothering you until you tell me."
"Kid ... I don't want to break your spirit ..."
"Mate, how can I make up my own mind if nobody tells me anything."
Sigh "... I think Pan died. Be by the hand of the inspiration for Hook, or by natural causes of living on the street. I think his death brought Granny Wendy back to reality and that was why the kids came back."
"That's seems logical. Thank-you."
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Benny's theory seemed to be what most 'doubters' believed.
George didn't know which version was real, the more 'realistic' way was more logical ... but there were just some things that made George doubt the doubters. For the most part though, George had decided that it didn't matter if it were real or not; they were fantastic stories to listen to. George loved listening to all the stories told by Granny Wendy; the made-up fairy tales, the re-vamped classics and best of all were the tales of Peter Pan. Full of Adventure, Good vs Evil, Pirates, Indians, Treasure and Epic Battles; it was everything George liked to listen to.
But there were some parts that George didn't understand; like the 'looks'.
The Peter Pan tales were magical to listen to. George wasn't sure if they were real, but they were brilliant to listen to. The listening children could request their favourite parts, or ask questions if they wanted. George was more keen on just listening, but was always keen to join with the rowdy acting out the of the battle scenes. One thing that George noticed; was the 'look'. It was that 'look' which firmly and forever reminded George; that Maria was, in fact, a girl.
When listening to the tales of Peter Pan, every female would get a 'look' in their eyes. A kind of gleam of longing, and sorrow, and understanding.
George didn't understand ... but still saw it.
When Granny Wendy spoke about the mix up of 'Thimbles' and 'Kisses'; Maria had given a soft sigh. George, sitting next to her, had noticed; Maria's mouth a twitched in a small strange smile, and her eyes had sparkled with the 'look'. All the other girls had that 'look'; even (maybe especially) those spouting about 'Neverland being nonsense'.
And it wasn't just girls.
George noted that many of the men had similar looks; none of the longing, but definite sorrow and understanding. Sometimes the younger males would one day listen to a story and then get the 'look' on their face. It was more obvious with them (the ones not yet considered men), because they also had a moment of shock at their own understanding.
George thought all people were crazy ... but ... the fact that there was something that all females got, and more older males also learned to get, and George didn't. It was just a reminder to George of the 'edge-of-awareness' George had. A reminder that George just didn't quite feel right.
It was when getting ready for bed that 'edge-of-awareness' wedged itself into being a proper 'awareness'.
George had gone to follow the rules of 'brushing teeth before going to bed', when George accidentally glanced up at the mirror. George paused and then scowled at the image there. Light brown hair fell in gentle waves to just below the shoulders, framing a heart-shaped face. It was a face that some could almost consider as 'pretty'. There was a white nightgown; it, like the hair length; the nightgown was worn to appease Mother and Father.
George scowled at the one in the mirror.
That was the real reason Aunt Ruthless and her children were George's lest favourite family members. They never called George 'George', no they used the dreaded full name. The name given to George at birth, the name that never felt like it belonged with George. Just as George could not understand the 'look' that even the most tom-boyish Maria had, just as looking in the mirror always felt wrong. The reason why George couldn't fit in completely.
George never felt whole being a Georgina.
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End of Chapter One.
Author's Note:
Here this chapter ends. This is a very long Author's note, which works because it is at the bottom of a very long chapter.
Other chapters probably won't be as long.
A)
This story was inspired by two things.
- Firstly: Some really good fan-fictions where Peter Pan was secretly born to a female body, but was/is male in heart and mind, and that was why he could not return with Wendy. As a Peter/Wendy shipper; this made their already heartbreaking story even more so (which I never thought possible). It got wanting to explore the idea - but not with the regular characters, because of the second thing.
- Secondly: There was very specific gender troupes in Neverland (will be explored/expanded on in story). Being an actor, a wanna-be author and living in this time where Gender is becoming less of a 'taboo' subject, has me fascinated with wanting to explore gender roles and rules in Neverland.
B)
Originally I had wanted George to be Margaret's child, making George the great-grandchild of Wendy, but I realised that if I wanted to do the job properly then I need to have a wider range of characters. And the Peter/Wendy shipper in me wanted more Wendy around. Therefore there are strong allusions to Peter and Wendy having feelings for each other, but their story was still exactly what is in Sir J. M. Barrie's Amazing work.
Also Taran is based on 'Disney's Tarzan'; which I also do not own. I may at some point write a fic that explains my crazy conspiracy, but basically; I like the idea that Jane from 'Tarzan' was actually Jane, Wendy's Daughter.
C)
Two Writing techniques I'm exploring.
- You'll notice in this chapter that I did not use pronouns for George. This is because George was born as Georgina, but doesn't yet know/understand that he was born as the wrong gender. I the author think of George as male, and I hope you the reader do as well, but at this point in the story George believes it would be wrong to think in that way. So instead of thinking with the female pronouns that Society expects, he just uses 'George'. The proper pronouns will come, once in Neverland.*
(*Of course they're going to Neverland, where else would they go?)
By the way; writing without pronouns for your lead character - is really difficult. That challenge is part of why I want to write this story.
- That brings me to my second technique. It isn't too obvious in this chapter; but George is actually a side character. Not the protagonist, not the hero, not the villain and definitely not the damsel in distress. Most of the story will be from George's P.O.V, making George my 'lead character', but not the main character. That intrigues me.
D)
Though this story is more influenced by the novel, there may be aspects from other versions of 'Peter Pan' sprinkled throughout. Such as the ideas from 'Hook' (Also not mine), where Wendy helped orphans and was known as 'Granny Wendy'.
E)
This story has a Trans character.
I am not Trans, I was lucky enough to be born into the body that matches my heart, mind, and soul - I am a girl through and through.
I DO NOT mean ANY offence to anyone with this story; I am not trying to upset anyone. I am merely writing this story because a) I am fascinated with gender roles in Neverland, and b) I want to practice my writing skills and delving into the minds of different characters.
F)
The characters are all a bit (or a lot) stereotypical, but that is intentional.
Hopefully this story is not too horrible.
If you have read this, then thank-you.
I will update whenever I update.
Tuesday 16th January 2018.