The Worst Listener Question
Alternate Ending
Me: Austin gets out of bed and suddenly realizes that he is standing two inches before the end of Chrom's majestic blade.
Chrom: Good morning.
Austin: Whoa. Take it easy…
Me: Austin looks straight up at Chrom.
Austin: Chrom?!
Chrom: In the flesh. Pixels? Whatever.
Austin: Look, I am extremely sorry for any sexual harassment that you received from Aysha. But I have part in this.
Chrom: *facepalm*
Austin: What?!
Chrom: I'm the assassin!
Austin: Oh. I mean psshhh, I knew that!
Me: Chrom takes a vertical swing at Austin, who dodges it like a boss. Just as soon as Chrom goes for a horizontal swing, Aysha bursts through the door on a motorcycle dressed as Link, wielding the Master Sword.
Aysha: Heeeeaaaah!
Me: Chrom is decapitated. Also, I think Austin shit his pants or something. I don't know. I only write this stuff! Not analyze it.
Aysha: GET OUT!
Austin: Okay!
Me: Austin walks outside, leans on a wall, and thinks about his life choices. He eventually gets bored and starts stalking Aysha.
Aysha: Forgive me, senpai. You were simply… *sigh* too much for this universe.
Me: Aysha picks up Chrom's severed head, and makes out with it.
Austin: Gross.
Aysha: Austin! What the hell?!
Austin: Sorry. I was bored.
Me: Austin points to a costume shop across the street.
Austin: Is that where you got the Link costume?
Aysha: Oh, yeah! Dude, that place RULES! Check it out!
Me: On the way across the street, Aysha hears a whisper that Austin apparently didn't hear at all.
?: When one thing is given up, another is received soon after, friend. Come to the back.
Me: Aysha stops, causing Austin to stop, as well.
Aysha: Hey, Austin? I think we should go to the back of the store, actually. Please?
Austin: Uh…okay?
Me: So they walk around to the back of the store. Little did they know, that what was behind that corner…would change their lives forever…
Tool Music Video Man: Hey. Got any spare change?
THE END
(For real this time.)