A/N: Wow, so this one-shot was not something I had planned. Never in a million years did I think I would ever write a Star Wars fanfiction as I only recently watched all the movies. Needless to say, I am now a fan.
I fell in love with Reylo after watching episodes 7 and 8. Initially this didn't inspire me to write a Reylo fanfiction, but after perusing some Reylo fan art (some of which is absolutely breathtaking) the inspiration came to me. I am completely fascinated with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and desperately just want him to turn back to the light for Rey.
Anyway, I really hope everyone likes this piece as it was extremely fun to write. Reviews are welcome, but please remember that I am new to the Star Wars fandom so go easy on me! I did my very best to stay true to the characters and the Star Wars universe.
Enjoy and please review!
The nightmare started out the way it always did. Rey found herself once again a small child running across the barren landscape of Jakku. Her feet sunk into the deep sand dunes with every step she took, which greatly slowed her progress and made Rey feel like she was running through ever thickening molasses.
Up ahead of her was a small ship getting ready to take off. There were two people walking up the gangplank hand in hand. A man and a woman. Rey knew who they were as they were the same in every one of her dreams.
"Mother! Father! Come back!" Rey screamed at the top of her lungs. Or at least she tried. That was another recurring theme in her dream; the inability to make a sound. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't yell, couldn't call out to them. And no matter how fast she ran she couldn't get any closer to her goal. The ship stayed the same distance away from her, like a mirage moving away from a wanderer dying from thirst in an endless desert.
"Please! Don't leave me! Please!" She cried out desperately, but they couldn't hear her. Suddenly a rock seemed to appear out of nowhere and Rey tripped, falling into a heap on the warm, grainy sand. She picked up her head and watched helplessly as her parents boarded the ship and it took off, disappearing into space.
Rey reached out her hand as if she could somehow summon the ship back to her. Hot tears burned on her cheeks. "No! Please!" She sobbed.
` It was then that the ground opened beneath her and suddenly Rey was free-falling into a dark pit. She screamed, but the sound was swallowed up by the air rushing past her at an incredible speed.
Then she hit the water.
Rey immediately panicked when she felt the cool, wetness surround her as she plunged beneath the surface.
Growing up on Jakku she had never learned how to swim, so it was sheer instinct that drove her thrashing limbs to try and propel herself to the surface. It was so dark that she couldn't see to know if she was getting any closer or if she was merely pushing herself further into the murky black depths.
She could feel her limbs failing as fatigue overtook her.
"Rey," a voice called out to her. It was his voice. The voice that continued to haunt her subconscious. "Fight it. Don't give up. Fight…fight…fight…"
Rey gasped, shooting upright. She placed a hand on her heaving chest as she struggled to catch her breath and regain her senses of her surroundings. The first thing she registered was that she was on her cot in Luke's hut on Ahch-to and that all was quiet and peaceful.
The second thing she realized was that she wasn't alone.
"You're here." She said aloud, into the dark.
"I am." Replied the deep voice of Kylo Ren as he emerged from the darkest corner of the room. He looked as if he too had been sleeping as he was clad only in dark pants and a black tank top. His mask and gloves were nowhere to be seen and he was barefoot. Kylo's eyes were guarded as he approached her, arms hanging unthreateningly at his sides. The scar she had given him when they had fought on the star-killer base stood out in the dim light. Rey tried not to eye his sculpted arms too much, but couldn't help looking over him once…then twice, also taking in to account the outline of his toned chest through the thin fabric of his shirt.
Finally tearing her gaze back to his face, she startled to realize he too had been eyeing her appreciatively. She flushed deeply when she realized where his gaze had lingered. Rey went to cross her arms over her chest, to cover up the thin shirt in which she was sleeping that left little to the imagination.
"Don't bother," said Kylo, coming to a stop just a few feet in front of her. "I've already seen anything you think you are covering up now." He looked down at her and Rey felt even more self-conscious when his roving eyes and stoic gaze gave nothing away. If he were any more enigmatic…
"What are you doing here at this hour?" She asked him, then shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. "Never mind. I know you don't have any more control over this damned Force connection than I do. I'm sorry it woke you."
That last sentence slipped out before she really thought about what she was saying. There was a long breath of silence and when Rey finally looked back at Kylo, his face was thoughtful as he stared back at her with curiosity. Strands of his unruly black hair had fallen in front of his eyes but that did nothing to shield her from their intensity.
The tension in the room was almost palpable and Rey hated it. She hated how his closeness could drive her to insanity. She hated how the Force seemed to ripple and throb between them as if it was trying to pull them closer. Most of all she hated the dull ache in her chest that threatened to rip her apart whenever he was near.
Finally, he spoke. "You were scared." His voice was so soft, so gentle. Rey's heart seemed to squeeze as Kylo's words warmed her to her core.
Enemy. He's the enemy.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible, desperately pushing down on the forbidden emotions that threatened to spill over.
"I was roused from sleep because I felt your fear. You were panicked…terrified. You felt like you were drowning, like you couldn't breathe. And you were alone…no one was there to save you."
"Please stop." Rey whispered, pulling her knees up to her chest in fetal position. His words brought the memory of her nightmare flooding back and she felt utterly overwhelmed.
There was movement as Kylo closed the distance keeping them apart and kneeled in front of her. He was so much taller than her that even though he was on his knees her head was barely higher than his, making their eyes almost level. Their gazes met and locked, neither one looking away and Rey tried to ignore the fact that the ache in her chest lessened the moment he came closer. Kylo's eyes dropped to her lips for a split second, and the act sent a jolt straight through her body.
"Tell me about it." He said, his voice impossibly lower, its deepness sending another shudder down her spine. Rey's eyes fluttered closed for a moment. She needed to cut off their connection in some way so she could think straight. Unfortunately, it didn't work the way she had hoped because she could still feel the part of Force that surrounded him as it brushed softly against the part of the Force surrounding her…gently coaxing, peeling away her resolve.
She pushed it back.
"Tell you about what?"
"Your dream." He replied, tone still painfully gentle and uncharacteristically patient.
Rey's eyes opened and she was once again swept away in his deep brown orbs. "That's hardly any of your business."
The corner of his lips lifted slightly and Rey blinked in shock. Had Kylo Ren just…smiled? A normal act for anyone else, but not for him. "Fair," he started. "But it did wake me up as well so that has to at least give me a free pass to ask about it."
To ask about it. Not to know about. Rey realized with a start that Kylo wasn't demanding that she tell him about her dream. Something else that seemed very uncharacteristic of him.
A sharp, shrill cry sounded from the entrance of the hut. Kylo leapt to his feet with all the grace of a true Jedi Knight and spun around to face the source of the noise. Rey couldn't help but notice that he was standing in front of her and had thrown his arm out as if to shield her from any potential threat. It made her feel warm inside, right before a twinge of guilt hit her.
Enemy. He's the enemy.
"What is that?" Kylo asked, pointing to the adorable, birdlike creature that stood in the doorway. It had big eyes, wings, and a flat nose that quivered as it took in all of Kylo's tall, menacing form.
It squeaked.
"That," replied Rey. "Is a Porg. They are all over the place here. I can hardly walk outside without tripping on one." Seeing as he was still poised and ready to attack, Rey continued. "They're harmless." She added quickly.
Kylo relaxed slightly and turned back to her. "A native species then. Native to where, I wonder…"
Rey frowned. "Nice try. I'm still not telling you where I am."
He shrugged. "It was worth a shot."
Unable to stop herself from smiling, Rey looked away to regain her composure. In the few weeks that these uncontrolled Force connections had been occurring the two of them had gotten more comfortable around each other. And Rey, despite herself, found that she was starting to enjoy being around him. Kylo was surprisingly easy to talk to and Rey found it harder and harder to remember the most important thing.
Enemy. He is the enemy.
Is he really my enemy though?
Yes. He killed Han. He is responsible for the deaths of countless others.
But Snoke was the one who twisted him. Snoke was to blame for everything. Rey knew that Snoke's influence couldn't make Kylo completely innocent, but he couldn't be as bad as he portrayed himself to be. The face of Kylo Ren just didn't match the Ben Solo that Rey was coming to know.
"It was the same as every other time," Rey started. Kylo looked at her in surprise. She then scooted over on her cot, silently inviting him to sit, and his surprise seemed to heighten. He recovered after a moment though and hesitantly lowered himself to sit down beside her. Rey still couldn't get over how even though he wasn't really there in the flesh, the cot dipped with his added weight.
Once he had settled, Rey continued. "I was a child on Jakku again. There was a ship in the distance and my parents…they were boarding it. To leave me." She swallowed down the rising lump in her throat. "I was running to catch up and crying out to them to stop but-" Faltering, Rey had to take a breath before she could speak again. "But no matter how fast I ran I couldn't get any closer, and no matter how loud I screamed they…they didn't hear me. I watched them get on that ship and leave. Neither one looked back. They never look back." Rey drew another shuddering breath, acutely aware of Kylo's solid presence right next to her. Strangely, it brought her comfort. "The drowning you mentioned is because the ground swallowed me up and I fell into some sort of water. It was so dark, and I couldn't swim. So dark…" She shivered involuntarily from the memory and tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over.
Kylo then did something that Rey wouldn't have expected in a million years. Reaching up he placed a comforting hand on her back. He wasn't really there, but Rey felt every millimeter of where they touched with every fiber of her being. She was too hot and too cold all at once. She wanted to push him away and lean into him at the same time. She wished he would stop, yet also wished he would pull her closer. Her head was spinning so badly that she inevitably closed her eyes once again and focused on the way the Force was moving between and around them now.
Due to their closeness, the branches of the Force surrounding each of them were nearly completely intertwined at the center where they were touching, and Rey noticed how the ache in her chest was almost entirely gone. On the outside, circling them, the Force that was around her mingled and twisted around the Force around him, like two snakes winding about each other's bodies. Every brush, every brief point of contact between the Force made Rey feel as though her own body was being stroked. The whole experience was so sensual that her breathing became labored as she fought against the urge to shift closer to him. Rey's whole body had already completely betrayed her as it burned for more contact with her sworn enemy. But now her mind was turning on her as well, urging her to give in. To just lean against him. Surely it wouldn't do any harm…
Beside her, Kylo had gone stiff and when Rey opened her eyes and turned her attention to him, she realized that her too was breathing raggedly. His face showed clear internal struggle and she wondered if he could feel it too. The hand that wasn't touching her, his right hand, was clenched so tightly at his side that his knuckles were white.
Their eyes met and his heated gaze slammed into her own. Rey nearly gasped with the force of it. At this point the whole hut was humming with the energy of the Force and Rey didn't know how much longer this level of tension could be held in place.
She felt herself slipping and a wave of dizziness came over her. Whimpering, Rey slumped against him and finally, finally, got the contact she craved.
Kylo shuddered and that tension broke, no, shattered, as his arms slipped around her, pulling her tightly to his chest. The hand that had rested against her back didn't break contact with her body, merely slipping around her to grip her as tightly as possible. The other cradled her head, his fingers winding through her hair. Rey's scalp tingled everywhere he touched her. Her whole body felt like a live wire. She inhaled deeply, letting his intoxicating scent fill her senses and wrapped her arms around his torso, softly squeezing.
Their Forces became one in that moment and stars seemed to explode behind Rey's eyelids as she pressed closer to him. The feeling was so unbelievable. Raw, unbridled power surrounded them and filled the room. If it felt this good to just be held by him Rey couldn't even imagine anything more. It amazed her how gently he was holding her, and at the amount of tenderness emanating from him almost too much to bear. He couldn't be all bad. No one who could hold someone else with this much caring and compassion could truly be evil.
"Ben…" His real name slipped from her lips because in that moment Rey knew she was being held by Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren.
Ben shivered and she felt him bury his face into her neck. It took Rey a few seconds to realize that his whole body was shaking. Was his crying? Or just…overcome.
"I hope you know…" He started, voice slightly muffled. "That I'm here for you whenever you feel lonely. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by your family, and Rey," Ben paused and let out a shaky breath. "I want you to know that I would look back. I will always look back to you."
A sob ripped through her body and Rey clutched at him even tighter. She still didn't know how it was possible for her to feel him as if he were really there, but she didn't care anymore. All she cared about was that he stayed with her and would never let her go.
Ben pulled back enough to softly brush the side of her face with his hand. "Rest now. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."
Suddenly exhausted, Rey allowed Ben to gently lower her back down so she was lying on her cot. He pulled the blankets up around her and stroked her face. Rey's closed her eyes and relaxed completely, surrendering to him.
"I'm not going to give up on you, Ben." She whispered, feeling drowsy as sleep beckoned her. "Not ever."
She could almost see him smile as he touched her cheek once more. "Good." He whispered. Right before sleep claimed her, Rey could have sworn she felt Ben's lips softly brush her cheek.
"Sweet dreams, Rey. My sweet Rey…"