Red.

That was the only thing he could really see past the sandy beach, to be honest. No matter where you went, even if you had managed to access old military institutions where they were starting to get the sea back to it's old, azure self, the ocean would forever remained bloody red.

No, it wasn't water anymore… it was a sea of LCL. The scent was pungent, anyone able to smell it a mile away… but he had been so used to it. He just sat on the beach, legs brought up to his chest, and arms resting on his knees. Three years had gone by, and yet, true to the Curse of Evangelion, he had not aged. However, he no longer looked the same. If at all anything, he was different than how he truly was.

His brown hair, short and cut close with a rich shade of dark chocolate, was now snow white. His dark eyes, the color of dirt, now the same color as the ocean at which he watched with an impassive gaze. It had been a shock to him, at first. He looked like his friend, Kaworu. There was hardly any trace of the fourteen-year-old boy that had tried to save the world.

How ironic that he ended up doing the opposite. He stopped his father's ambitions, but everyone he cared about died. He had rejected Human Instrumentality, but the world was beyond repair. That task now fell to him, he who had brought it to an end.

The Near Third Impact, they called it… Even if it was incomplete, it was still just as terrifying as the previous ones, obliterating nearly all of life. Then, while attempting to fix his mistakes, he inadverdently started the Fourth Impact. In a way… he had doomed the world twice over. He had lost his friend, Kaworu. He tried to stop him. Even though he was an Angel, he still cared for him… he truly did not consider him an Angel, he thought him to be human. There was no denying that.

After the Near Third Impact, his world collapsed… his friends, who once gave him encouraging words, to continue helping him face the world, now looked at him with scorn. The only person that didn't look at him with scathing rage was Toji's younger sister. It was ironic, really. The girl he had hurt because of his screw-up from so long ago was the one who treated him with kindness…

To him, he felt that he didn't deserve any of it.

Shinji Ikari did not deserve kindness, not after all that he had done. Fourteen years did not change him. Fourteen years did not open his eyes. All it had done was close his eyes, forcing him to remain forever ignorant of the truth. When he awoke, the world was now cruel, and his friends, replaced with strangers. He expected it when he saw Asuka again, wearing an eyepatch over her eye. He saw her gaze, that kindness hidden beneath the scolding glare.

It had become dark and cold.

He sighed to himself, resting his head against his forearms. He had truly, in every sense of the word, screwed up… He had failed everyone. He may have stopped Gendo, and SEELE, and the total destruction of the world… but it was now vacant. Only he remained… yet he was no longer human either.

The Fifth Impact, that which he referred to as the Final Impact, had changed him, just as the Near Third had allowed his Evangelion, his mother, to transcend into near godhood. He wanted to save Rei so badly back then that he would gladly forfeit everything. To him, she was all that mattered. He didn't care if the world crashed and burned. All that mattered was getting Rei back.

He didn't even know that she wasn't even human, and even if he did know, he wouldn't have cared. That girl was among the first he had opened up to in those years, those long three years of solitude He wasn't about to lose her. The second Rei, Rei Q Gendo called her, wasn't like her… yet she treated him with gentleness. She helped embrace his new life, that the harsh reality in front of him was the world that came to be because of his selfishness not to be alone.

She was odd that way… but, then again, this was Rei Ayanami. No matter which one of her you were talking to, Rei would always be strange in her own little way. That was the part of her he cherished, the part of her he adored…

The part of her he loved.

When the Fifth Impact began, Lilith had been reborn through Rei, partially because of Gendo's stupidity. Kaworu had returned to the world, through the form of Adam, the first Angel. They had each given him the opportunity to create the world, or preserve it.

Rei told him to create the world of Human Instrumentality.

Kaworu told him to reject it.

He recalled his life up to that point. Back when he was young, the world was so kind to him, his world that which revolved around his parents. He missed the days when Gendo used to smile, and he missed the days when he could be held within his mother's arms. Then his world, which was bright and joyful, turned icy and isolated when his mother had mysteriously vanished. Back then, he thought she had died. His father abandoned him, left him alone with his teacher and his aunt and uncle. He continued to remain isolated, listening only to the sweet music his casets brought him. After three years of solitude, his father brought him forward into the hellish world, forcing him into the cockpit of the Evangelion.

If you asked him seventeen years ago if he regretted that decision, he would have said yes.

If you asked him that question now, he would have said no.

He did not regret stepping inside the Evangelion. It was because of that decision that he found himself in a better world, despite all the harsh realities that existed with it. After so long… his world was becoming lively. It was slowly becoming how it used to be, back when his mom was still alive.

Then tragedy came when he had nearly killed Asuka, all because of the abomination that was the Dummy Plug System. And tragedy continued to plague him thereafter, first with Rei being devoured by the Tenth Angel, and then with the world that he had made through the Near Third Impact. It was as if his entire life was nothing but a tragedy, hidden beneath the guise of a happy, faithful world.

Shame how well that went.

He then thought about the people in his life. He thought about his friends at school, the technician staff at NERV, his father back when he felt their relationship starting to repair, and of his fellow pilots… Rei, and Asuka.

Had he not been through all of this tragedy, he would have accepted Human Instrumentality, to be reunited with his friends. Anything was better than being alone.

However, the fact is, he had gone through all of that hardship. He endured. He survived.

Thus, he chose to reject Human Instrumentality. Humans would forever remain separate, and a new being of existence would remain in the idle minds of disturbed men. All that was left was to forge a new world… yet that proved difficult.

Shinji Ikari held the authority to forge a new word, yet no matter how much thought he gave it, nothing would seem acceptable. He once thought of making a world based on his selfishness, where his family as alive, getting along, and he had all of his friends back with him. It would be as if the world was focused solely on him. But, he didn't feel that it would be right. He wanted the world to be fair to everyone.

That was where he hit the snag. Nothing he thought of seemed… right. For three years, since the day he rejected Human Instrumentality, he wondered if it was possible for him to really make the new world. He started to question even himself about his capabilities, despite no longer being fully human.

How odd.

He sighed again, this time allowing his legs to fall and spread out, and his arms to support him up, resting on the sand. He stared up at the blank sky above him. No matter how much time passed, the azure sky would never return. It would always be this darkened, crimson color. It was not like the sea, it was a cape of tinted red blackness that gave off the cold feeling of dread.

It had taken quite a bit of time to grow used to such a sight.

He had not realized that he had been pondering about what to do for the entire day, and found himself now lying on the sand, his arms behind his head, and staring listlessly up at the star-lit sky. He never did ask why stars continued to exist while the sky was so warped and twisted. Perhaps it was just nature preserving what little was left of the world.

He should have been grateful for that, at the very least.

"The world remains stagnant…"

He lifted his head up further, staring back at the figure who approached him. No humans were left in this world… only him and two others. Before him was none other than Rei, or rather Lilith, or whichever this being of existence was. All he knew was that she looked just like the Rei Ayanami he knew, bluish-gray hair, red eyes and all.

"I'm sorry…" he apologized, his voice strangely quiet and emotionless. Beings like him had no need for emotions. "I haven't found the perfect world to create yet."

Rei/Lilith offered him a sad smile in return. "You needn't apologize, Yehowah." Yehowah… that was his name now. Shinji Ikari had died on the day the Fifth Impact had claimed the world. "To Create a new world is not something that can be done so easily."

He had figured as much, seeing as how it had been three years, and yet, still no progress. "Sleep, Yehowah…" Rei/Lilith told him, gently placing herself beside him. "Think of a new world tomorrow… Time is endless."

He nodded, and felt his eyes close him away from reality. In no time at all, his consciousness already faded away into the world of dreams… or at least, that was how he perceived it. Once his mind was fully elsewhere, Rei/Lilith's smile turned sad, her hand brushing against his cheek. "Three years have passed…" the voice of the one who abhorred the sadness of humans rung out, his body manifesting beside him, hands slipped into his trousers. "Yet, he still cannot envision the world that would not reflect upon his own desires." Kaworu/Adam tilted his head in thought. "Is it wrong to be selfish at times?"

"To most, yes, it would be…" she said, nodding her head. "However, Yehowah-" Rei/Lilith quickly shook her head. "No… Shinji Ikari deserves this once chance to be selfish."

"How curious…" Kaworu/Adam noted. "That is the first time you have addressed him as such since before he became a being beyond the realm of men."

Shinji Ikari had never been addressed as such since when he had done what the Evangelion he commanded had done, only to a higher extent. He was a being that was neither Angel nor human… he was something more, but not the same as Adam or Lilith. They were Seeds of Life, those who would give birth to a new existence. He was one who would give birth to a new world.

"I am aware of that…" Rei/Lilith responded, her hand now caressing his cheek. "Tell me… Have we made the correct choice? In giving him this role?"

"That is not my place to say, really." Kaworu/Adam shrugged. "All we can do is watch over the world he will create, regardless of whether or not it reflects his truest wishes."

"And if he does not create a new world?" Rei/Lilith questioned. "What if he cannot find a world suitable to his own desires… because he bears none?"

That caused the male to raise an eyebrow in question. That thought had not occurred to him… yet it made sense. Shinji Ikari was gone, thus any wishes he had were null and void. Yehowah existed to grant the wishes of Shinji Ikari, to bring about the world where he would be happy. If he did not exist, then the world he wanted would no exist.

So, this brought forth the question: how would you create the world that reflected the wishes of one who no longer existed?

"…Perhaps he would have that answer…" Kaworu/Adam answered after a long period of silence. "If Shinji Ikari's mind remained."

At this, the female being could only smile. "Then, perhaps…" she spoke with a soft, tender voice. "We should grant him the wish he holds at the very bottom of his heart… The wish he never spoke."

Kaworu/Adam's eyes widened in shock. "Are you certain?" he asked, still stunned. "You do realize the complications this represents, do you not?"

"I know of what is to come if we grant this wish of his…" Rei/Lilith said, her smile still present. "But… his heart is no longer what it once was. It no longer bears signs of weakness… It is strong, now. It has the strength to brave the world."

"And if he fails?" he continued to question her. "What if he falters, for even a moment?"

Rei/Lilith looked up to meet his gaze. That was all that was needed for him to smile in resignation, shaking his head, and then staring out at the world before him. "…I suppose it is foolish of me to ask such pointless questions…" Kaworu/Adam muttered under his breath. "…Especially if I am aware of the answers."

Rei/Lilith giggled in response. "Indeed you should…" she said with a teasing tone, quite unlike her previous behavior, as she stood up. "Now… let us begin."

"Yes, let us begin…" he spoke with a smile., before the two spoke one final time, in perfect unison.

"The Rebuilding of the World."

Shinji Ikari opened his eyes, meeting the bright blue sky that he had once forgotten. In his ears danced the sweet music that he cherished, the sound of the musician who could not hear his beloved tunes playing to his heart's content. All that Shinji Ikari could hear was the sweet Ode to Joy.

It only took him a moment to realize that he was not Yehowah, the being that surpassed both humans and Angels. It took him another moment to realize that he could feel his own sadness and frowning confusion, feelings that he had long forgotten, as he did not need it.

Finally, his brown eyes looked to the side. His reflection met him, revealing the face of the boy who had yet to experience the horrors that were to come. his hair as brown as the Earth itself.

He stared out at the crimson sea stretching out from the beautiful, proud city of Tokyo-3.

Finally, a smile spread out across his face.

"Second verse…" he found himself saying. "Same as the first."

-0.00: There Is (Always) A Chance-

Part One of Two: COMPLETE