It was a pleasant day at the guild, everybody talking and laughing with each other.
Except for a certain ice make mage, sitting alone at a table in the corner.
A sigh slipped through his slightly chapped lips.
Tired eyes scanned the room, finding their desired target across the room.
With her.
Gray let another sigh escape the confines of his mouth, his cobalt eyes drifting back to his empty glass.
He heard the light, bubbly laugh of one of his teammates. Her. Along with her giggle, there was the unmistakable chuckle of the pink candlestick standing next to her.
Natsu.
The most perfect human ever. Well, in Gray's eyes.
Seeing Natsu with Lucy sent a pang through Gray's chest. He knew Lucy wasn't intentionally trying to hurt him, but seeing them together was too much at times.
He wanted Natsu for himself. Not for Lucy, not for Lisanna, not for anybody but him.
He wasn't sure why he felt how he did, but the ice mage had recently discovered emotions deep inside him, felt only for the dragon slayer. It was a strange feeling, and it was hard to describe. When he saw Natsu, he felt heat flush his face, and a warm, fuzzy feeling went through him. His stomach did these due!b little flips, and a strong feeling of trust and admiration flowed through him.
There was just something about him that made him special. Maybe it was the way he never gave up, and fought until he could no longer stand. Or the way he cares so much about Fairy Tail and all of his nakama. Natsu always had a smile on his face, and he knows how to brighten someone's day. There's also his perfect pink hair, and the way his scarf falls in such a way that shows without words that he's proud to wear it, which is weird because it's just a scarf. Not to mention, Gray had to admit Natsu had a very nice body, exposing it 24/7 with his vest.
Natsu, Gray had decided one day, was perfect in just about every way. Even when they bickered and fought each other, the raven haired teen was happy.
Too bad his feelings won't ever be returned.
After all, Natsu probably didn't, swing that way. Plus, it was obvious the fire mage had something special with Lucy, or so everyone was saying. Always going to her house, asking to go on missions with her, never paying the slightest attention to Gray. Well, except for when they brawled.
Feeling a pain in his chest and the sting of tears behind his eyes, Gray decided to go. Sliding out of his chair and walking to the door, he was almost at the handle when a certain water woman stepped in front of him.
"Gray-sama! You're leaving already?"
"Hey, Juvia. I'm tired,so I'm heading home."
"Huh? But, it's only a bit past three..is Gray-sama not feeling well?"
"I'm fine, just didn't sleep well last night."
And with that, he flung open the door and half walked, half dragged himself home.
About fifteen minutes later, Gray opened the door to his small house. He had already lost his shirt somewhere along the way, so he shrugged and wiggled out of his pants, then flung himself onto his half-made bed in his messy room. He wasn't lying at the guild, he really was tired. He stayed up thinking about basically everything to think about, his active mind preventing sleep. Even now, in the quiet peacefulness of his house, he found himself picking at a thread on his blanket instead of sleeping. With nothing else on his mind at the moment, his thoughts gradually drifted to Natsu.
Rolling over and shoving a pillow in his face, the raven let out a groan of frustration.
It just wasn't fair.
He was relatively close with him before, the two of them usually going on job requests together or just hanging out.
Until Lucy came along.
Gray cared for his new friend, obviously. But ever since she showed up, Natsu rarely ever glanced in his direction any more, and the only times they were even near each other was when they fought.
He hated it.
It's not fair.
Gray sniffled.
It's not fair.
He wiped at his eyes.
It's just not fair.
Small beads formed at the edges of his eyes.
It's just not fair.
He felt that damned pang in his chest once more, and his breath hitched. Finally, Gray stopped fighting it.
Just this once, while nobody is looking.
Just this once, he'll allow himself to be weak.
Gripping his sheets and leaning on his pillow, Gray let the tears fall, and made no effort to stifle the pitiful whimpers and small sobs. Eventually, those small sobs grew louder and more frequent, until soon the ice make mage couldn't stop the tears even if he tried.
She took his place.
Screaming into his pillow, he repeated himself in his mind. 'It's not fair. I love him. It's not fair. I was there before her. It's not fair.'
He let the onslaught of tears continue on.
She took him.
It's her fault he's feeling this way.
Lucy probably doesn't love Natsu.
But Natsu could love Lucy.
Another wave of jealously washed over him, and sadness flowed through him. Feeling weak and vulnerable, he laid down completely and hugged his pillow.
Natsu would never love him.
He loves Lucy.
He never looks at Gray. He can't possibly even like Gray, let alone want to love him. After all, all they ever did was shout and punch each other.
It was killing him, not being able to let the dragon slayer know how he feels.
He would just have to find a way to accept it; Lucy and Natsu probably love each other, and he is now a thing of the past.
Sliding under his covers and holding his pillow tighter, Gray slowly closed his eyes, beginning to drift into an uneasy slumber. His tears had stopped flowing, but the crying made him feel as tired as had been in a long while. He felt weak, his thoughts still attacking him.
He would never be good enough. Why would Natsu even consider Gray as nothing more than his nakama? Natsu would never love Gray.
He just needed to accept it.
He would never be her.