"Oh for god's sake!" Kathryn Janeway slammed down her phone. "I knew this would be a bad idea. I told them it was a bad idea. But did they listen? Oh, no. The admiralty knows best."
Chakotay watched from the other side of her office as she threw her hands in the air and began to pace.
"We'll let the people vote on the name of the ship, they said. It'll be a wonderful public relations exercise, they said. Well they're not the ones who have to captain the damn embarrassment!"
She paused in the centre of the room, hands on her hips, flushed and grandly offended.
"It's bad, I take it?" Chakotay ventured.
"Bad? No, it's not bad. Bad I could live with. This is… it's ridiculous! Untenable! I am absolutely incapable of fathoming how the admiralty can allow this humiliating spectacle to continue."
"Are you going to tell me what it is or will I have to find out from the press release like everyone else?"
With a sigh, Janeway sank down next to him. "Oh, Chakotay. She's such a beautiful ship. She deserves so much better than this." Squaring her shoulders and straightening her spine, she looked him full in the face. "You are looking at the captain of the new Royal Research Ship—" a strangled sound "—Boaty McBoatface."
Chakotay, who had spent several years learning wisdom at his captain's side, held his breath and resolutely did not laugh.
[END]
A/N: this happened because mr tree reblogged a post at me on tumblr and said, "Okay, you must now write AU fanfic where Janeway is commanding Boaty McBoatface." title is from romeo & juliet because when in doubt: shakespeare.