AN: this is my first posting ever, so please, please be kind when reviewing? Criticize me to your heart's content, but be gentle! Tell me what's wrong with it, and I will fix it.
Summary: Insight into life as a muggleborn during the first war. Short. Oneshot. A page from lily's diary. Was originally intended as a prologue to a multi chapter story, but my mind couldn't foucus on the 1978-1980 timeline, so I'm squashing everything I planned to do with Tiger Lily's Tale into one chapter (you won't be seeing that for a while as I plan to plan a bit more first)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to their creator: JKR.
Excerpt from the Diary of One Lily Evans
"It's so hard to believe that this will be my last night as a student of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Tomorrow my classmates and I will be handed our diplomas, and then we will board the school train one last time.
I wish I weren't so very scared of life after Hogwart's. But there are too many unknowns to be entirely comfortable, and there are some very good reasons to be scared.
For example; A self-proclaimed Dark lord is running about killing muggleborns. Muggleborns like me. He's also started killing people who associate with my kind. Most of the populous that aren't muggleborns, are so scared that they won't be seen lending assistance to people like me. We're told that his followers are everywhere, and most believe this.
How am I supposed to get a job in that environment? I want to be a healer, but will St. Mungo's hire a muggleborn? I know they still treat muggleborns, but will they hire one? Would they make themselves an even bigger target by hiring me? Or is the war making them desperate for healers?
I worry about finding a place to live. I don't want anything big, or fancy, just large enough for me to live in comfortably. It will be hard to find a kind soul that will rent to a muggleborn. If I don't find one I'll have to rent space in the muggle world.
And if I can't find a person who will hire me, I'll have to try to find a job in the muggle world with only one year of secondary school under my belt. Maybe I'll have to leave the wizarding world altogether. It would be safer, if this dark lord, Voldemort, wasn't intent killing all the muggles too.
Another thing that worries me is James, my boyfriend. It took less than seven months for him to ingrain himself into my life so completely that I can't imagine it without him as an integral part, I feel that if he leaves me I'll break so badly that no one will be able to put me back together! In my mind James freaking Potter has turned into my one constant.
This scares me.
This is also on the top of my lists of reasons that I cannot leave the wizarding world;James is a part of it, and he would not survive in the muggle world.
And I don't know how things will change between us once we leave school.
My friends worry me too, but then I remember that most of them are purebloods, and that Voldemort has always shown a reluctance to kill their kind, the 'clean', the 'pure.' My other friends, some in the category above, are planning to either fight, or leave the wizarding world. They hold no illusions of keeping their heads down and outlasting the war. I often lie awake at night and wonder who will outlast the war. Sometimes, I make myself sick by selfishly hoping that strangers will die in the places of those I love, and I feel guilty every morning when I receive the paper, and I read about the near daily attacks, and the deaths of so many strangers. I irrationally think that, because of me, one of these strangers, each with their own flock of loved ones, died in the place of one of my loved ones.
I need to stop worrying, and I need to sleep. What may come will come, and all that I can do is try my best.
-Lily E. June, 1978"
A/N: That's all folks, nothing more is coming of this! Contructive criticism welcome.