Parallel Universe
Where the fuck was I?
The last thing I remembered was falling asleep on a train to New York City. Something didn't feel quite right. The
people here were different. The colors were bright and I felt out of place for different reasons wearing a gray
t-shirt, jean jacket, and too old, but too comfortable to throw away boots. The bus came to its last stop so I got
off. There weren't any newspaper stands or any familiar landmarks. I couldn't ask anyone where I was, they
would think I was crazy and send me to a padded room somewhere. I had put my hand in my inside jacket
pocket, okay I still had my money. There was a woman walking a poodle across the street she looked like she
was in a painting. Maybe the bus crashed and I was wandering around in a coma dream? There's was a diner
on the corner, it would have seemed liked the perfect place to start. It was too bright and shiny in here and I
was glad to be wearing my shades, but even through them, like the color of the poodle, to the people's clothes,
to the cars on the street, everything was just too vivid. This couldn't be real. I was about to order a coffee from
a waitress named Sue – or so her nametag said, but then I saw HER getting out of a cherry red convertible.
Whether or not this had to do with love, I'm not certain, but she is someone I recognized. Although, I doubt I'd
have sprinted out of here if it were the doofus and his co-hort that was half in love with him. I nearly got run
over, and the car beeped its pitch-perfect sounding horn, as I tried to cross the street. I touched her shoulder
and she turned around. Her brunette hair up in a bun with tiny strands dangling around her ears, she was
wearing a navy blue blazer, white silk shirt with a loose bow in the front, and a matching navy skirt. She looked
beautiful in those navy and white high heels.
I'm glad to have found a friend in this strange town.
"Hello." I said trying to keep my cool.
"Excuse me?" She turned around, "Do I know you?"
"Jackie, it's me…."
"I'm not this Jackie person."
She looked frightened and that was not my intention.
I didn't even time to process the whole thing when my best male friend dressed in a fancy
designer suit came flying out of the lobby of the skyscraper we stood by.
"Is this person bothering you?"
"He's just lost," she whispers
What in the fuck?
"Excuse me, Forman?"
But I knew what was next, "I'm not Forman. I'm afraid you have the wrong people,"
He put his arm around Jackie and I really wanted to punch him, "Come on, Stephanie, let
me help you with those shopping bags."
Stephanie?
She kissed him on the cheek. "No peeking, Alex….."
Alex?
That was when I noticed their matching platinum wedding bands, she seemed
nervous and as if she didn't want to be with him. It was probably wishful thinking on
my part.
That condescending dill hole turned up his nose to me as he gave me a dollar and told me
directions to the homeless shelter. They looked too perfect. Jackie is Stephanie and is
married to Forman who is Alex, a wealthy, yuppie couple in this place that I still don't
know the name of. There was no sense to look at the doorman. I crossed the street and went
back to the diner. If Jackie and Eric were two different people, what happened to the
others? And if they changed how come I was still the same? I pinched myself as Waitress
Sue put down my cup of coffee. I was almost tempted to ask her where the hell was I?
Waitress Sue's shift was over and I almost fell off the stool when, well I didn't know who
she was here, took over her tables. She asked me how my coffee was and would I like a
danish?
The cherry ones were her favorite. Her name tag says Cheryl. Kitty was Cheryl and a
waitress. That one was almost too easy. She talked different; her voice was kind of husky
like when she used to get angry at Forman and her voice went deep, gone was her
nervous and contagious laugh. I wondered if Cheryl is Alex's Mom? I can't take
anymore, I finished my bland tasting coffee and left a modest tip. I was going to check
out Chrissy's punk band and crash in her no doubt filthy apartment in the Bronx with her
band mates.
I wondered if they're the same? That doesn't seem to matter anymore. I wanted to go in
that apartment across the street and see Jackie/Stephanie, but I couldn't. Not until I find
out more about this place.
I was not about to waste money on a local bus so the only thing I could do is walk. I'm
going to see if I can find the library. What luck. There was a pay phone on the corner and
the phone books that usually get pulled out from those weird coil things are still intact.
Fuck.
I couldn't believe it. It said Community Phone Directory. The area code was 000,
but the yellow pages and the map in the front told me that the Community Library is 10
blocks from here.
10 blocks in the opposite direction. I had no choice, but to walk it. Then I noticed the
street signs, they are all numbers…I was on the street marked 100th. It makes sense that
the library was in the double digits. 90th street. I was thirsty from all that walking and
quite frankly I could have use a joint. Since that was not an option, I drank from the
brightly orange colored water fountain (it tasted like nothing) and went up the stairs to the library.
And if I didn't have all of those other experiences I wouldn't have believed who worked in the
reference department…in a screwing library no less. But his name wasn't Michael Kelso.
Nope. The nameplate on the desk said Josh Hayes.
Josh Hayes? Okay. He looked the same except his hair was a little shorter
than what I remembered and he was wearing a yellow polo shirt and khaki pants. This
had to be Hell. The city was diverse which is the only positive thing I've noticed so far. I
don't understand why all the colors were so bright. I played it cool like always and ask
Josh (please, this couldn't be real) if there's a newspaper I could read, he said yes and
showed me where they kept them. He wasn't hyper; he wouldn't be the type to have
wrestled with a puppy if a puppy suddenly showed up in the place.
The newspaper was named Community Newspaper. But, of course. I opened it up and
one mystery was solved instantly. Stephanie and Alex Van Sant (Van Sant?) were seen
out and about at the civic center for the ballet theater opening. She was so beautiful and
the picture was in color, her dress was sapphire blue and she had a stunning heart-shaped
sapphire pendant around her neck. What did Forman do to deserve Jackie? There seemed
to be a real sadness behind the smile. There I went with the wishful thinking again.
I turned the page and saw another familiar face it was an advertisement for a doctor's office
in town. Red Forman was a doctor….well make that Dr. Lance Summers.
Good for him. I hope he didn't prescribe any foots to go in any asses.
That left Donna and Fez. They weren't found in the newspaper and as soon as I folded
over the newspaper, I resisted the urge to tear out the photo of Jackie (err…Stephanie!)
that was when Fez appeared, in a transparent form, not as vivid as my surroundings were.
That's it. I'm dead, aren't I?
No, you're not dead.
I noticed we were talking telepathically.
Are you an Angel?
Nope. Just Fez.
I laughed, You got to keep the name…..
Yep. Do you fancy a lollipop?
No. Tell me what is going on.
He snapped his fingers and we were in the most lavish apartment that I have ever been in
my short life. I resumed talking with my voice.
"Okay, Fez, if you aren't an Angel, how can you transport people?"
"I just can. Do you really want to know what's going on?"
"Wait. What happened to Donna? I didn't see her at all. Is she….?"
"Nope. I'm afraid you won't recognize Donna at all…. she only comes out at night."
For a minute I thought she was a vampire and then it hit me.
"What's her name?"
"Babs."
Donna is a prostitute named Babs?
Barbara? "What's her last name?"
"Fox."
"Babs Fox? That sounds like a bad porno name…."
"You catch on…"
I had to ask. "Are you the same Fez…. do you know me at all?"
"Yes, I'm the same Fez from Point Place…your lovable Foreign Exchange Student and
Little Buddy." But it seemed like he was just saying that for my benefit.
"Now that we established that…do you live here? Because I can sure use something to
eat…"
"Help yourself to the kitchen. To answer your question from before….this is a different
universe."
"I'll say it's different, man."
"How did they get here, where do you get your um talents from, and how come I'm the
only one that's truly me?"
"You don't remember that day?"
"If I asked then how can I remember?"
I was about to lose my patience once more.
"The car accident…you don't recall?"
"Steven Hyde was not in a car accident."
Fez laughs, "So was Derek Van Sant."
"Fuck….am I related to Alex?"
"Yes. That's why you don't remember….Steven Hyde was your previous life. He's been
dead for a long time. Only the soul is tortured and won't let you back in your next body.
But Steven Hyde's last wish was to have everyone that he knew and loved
around him…well they are…just not in the ways you might have expected."
"This doesn't make sense! I saw my alleged brother…."
"Derek Van Sant is in the hospital….."
"Was I married to Stephanie?"
"No."
"This is bullshit…" I relented.
Come on. I deserved a better explanation than this.
"Put Steven Hyde to rest…."
"I thought you said I'm not dead."
"You're not, dead. Steven Hyde is. And he's battling for your soul, Derek."
"Well, if I am this Derek Van Sant person then how come I don't have any knowledge
about him?" I took a bite of the peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich that I made, it
was awful. Much like the coffee at the diner. It was tasteless.
"You know what, you will think me for this later, my friend."
Fez snapped his fingers and all of a sudden it was nighttime and I was in a back alley.
Would Jackie kill me if I said I would know those legs anywhere? The woman in the
tight, but bright pink glittery mini dress spoke in a semi-Southern drawl and emerged
from the car window after being rebuffed. It was Donna. Or should I have said the
horribly named Babs Fox? Her red hair was teased kind of like in the way when me and
my horny friends in Point Place would fantasize about her and Jackie at their slumber
parties.
I thought you were supposed to evolve when you died? So why was she a hooker? What
lessons did she need to learn in this life?
She came up to me and I half hope that she recognized me.
"Hi Sugar," She put her arm around me, it didn't feel like Donna's arm, "Do you want
to go somewhere?"
She must not get rejected too many times; she didn't look like a worn and a beat up by
her pimp kind of prostitute.
I remembered I had money in my jacket pocket.
I pinched myself I couldn't be dead…they're all interacting with me,
Steven Hyde
Maybe, I was tripping. It was best to play it out. Maybe, the last joint I smoked was laced
with something?
This was just a dream before you know it, I would be back in the kitchen eating Mrs.
Forman's homemade waffles.
"Well?" She pouted her lip ready to move on to the next guy, so I knew I had better say
something.
"Sure, but I don't have a place…"
She smacked her lips and smiled, "I do.. What's your name, honey?"
"Hyde."
"I'm Babs Fox."
So, I've been told.
When we got to her small apartment, yet, everything was so brightly colored even though
it was nighttime, I hoped that Jackie would forgive me, because I had to do something.
She wanted to see the money first, maybe that was why she doesn't get hassled by her
pimp, I didn't even see him around, so what the fuck do I know? I put what I hoped was
enough on the table.
She smiled and before she could ask me anything I kissed her on the lips. It was empty. I
might as well have kissed styrofoam. She pushed me back on the vivid green sofa and
told me the money I gave her "only covers an hour." Donna – err, Babs kissed me and it was
like air. I don't feel anything good or bad, it was like the edible but non-tasting food
around here.
"Come on, Sugar, just relax, let me do the work…." She put her index finger with her
painted and manicured long red nail on my lips when I tried to reply, when she started to
undo my belt, I realized two things, I didn't want to continue this situation and yet there
was a time in my life when I would have thought Donna was my, dare I ever said it,
romantic soulmate.
I don't want to have sex with Donna…oops, Babs Fox whatever incarnation she
happened to be here.
Fez made his point. Okay, if I'm Derek Van Sant, then there was no point about trying to
get Babs to remember Donna and her life in Point Place, because she had completely for
better or worse moved on to the next life. I felt bad for her having to turn tricks in this
one. It doesn't seem right.
So, how did I get out of this predicament?
Babs froze like a department store mannequin and Fez came out of this light chamber.
"You lied to me….you are an Angel!"
"Maybe, I am."
So a perverted peeping tom gets to be an angel and Donna the feminist and honor student
was a hooker?
"You're doing it again…."
"What?"
"Comparing lives. I'm an Angel because I chose not to go through the life process again
like everyone else. Including you, Derek. I couldn't risk not loving candy. Want a candy
bar?" He seemed to pull one out of nowhere.
"No. It has no taste."
"For you, Maybe…"
"I thought Angels didn't eat…."
"Will you stop being logical?"
"Okay…take me where I need to be."
Fez snapped his fingers and we were in a hospital….and there was Derek Van Sant.
ME?
He's hooked up to all those tubes and machines and there was Stephanie by his bedside,
holding his hand. And damn it, I hated seeing her cry.
"I thought she was married to F-Alex, my brother?"
"If you want to return to this life and all of these answers, I can help you, if you don't,
you can come with me and be an entry level Angel."
I want to be with Stephanie.
Who cared if the places and names were different? What does it matter? Who cared if I
am a dork and would wear a suit and tie to work? And think people like Steven Hyde
were losers. Even though none of us are.
Maybe, I'm (Derek) was different than his stuck up snob of a brother, Alex.
Maybe, Derek was supposed to help Alex to be a better person. It wouldn't be the first time.
You couldn't choose those things. As long as they were good people, but that wasn't
always guaranteed or maybe the people were forever good, but their choices weren't. It
was the Circle of Life and I couldn't really stop it.
No one can.
Either way, I needed to make a decision.
First I had to ask what happened to the lives as I used to know them.
Steven Hyde died on his 21st birthday. He and Jackie were on their way back from the surprise
picnic she prepared for them, before the not-so surprise party from the Forman's. He had to save
Jackie, so his instincts were to maneuver the El Camino so it would be the driver who
had the brunt of the impact. His car hit a tree.
Jackie Burkhart moved out of Point Place soon after and went to live in New England
with a guy she settled for, gave birth to 2 children (Paul and Jill) that she adored, but
died of her secret pill popping addiction on what was the 10th anniversary of Hyde's
death.
Donna and Eric moved to Madison like they originally planned, they got divorced after 5
years of marriage. She wanted to travel and be journalist, he got his bachelor's in
accounting, his romantic soulmate was not Donna, but a woman at the firm he worked
at named Hillary Graham, they had 1 son, named Eric R. Forman.
His wife had died of a decades battle with cancer. Eric died 6 weeks later.
Michael Kelso married Brooke and raised their daughter Betsy. He changed
jobs and became a birthday party clown for children (and dogs)
He died peacefully in his sleep.
Red and Kitty died within 6 months of each other and chose to reincarnate rather than be
Angels because they had business to do in the next life.
Laurie Forman made it to 40 by marrying the first guy who had the right amount
of zeroes in the proper places on his bank account. She had one of those mysterious
drunken swimming pool accidents. No children.
Edna and Bud Hyde reconnected after the funeral of their son, but it didn't last.
She left town again, he went back to alcohol and they lived bitter and lonely
lives until their deaths. Her at 56 from a heart attack and him at 54 from cirrosis.
Fez died at 25 in a plane crash who repented for all of the bad things he had ever done
when the plane went down in the Atlantic.
I just wanted to be with her…no matter the form.
"Just close your eyes," Fez instructed me, "and just relax. Is Steven Hyde behind you?"
I don't remember how I (Hyde) died, but apparently I reincarnated into Derek Van Sant
and this body was as young as I was, give or take a year or two, so I had already
been living this life and did battle with my tortured soul.
I wanted to be with Stephanie.
If that was who Jackie was, then that was the life I wanted to be in.
"Yes." I tried to remain focused on the present and focused on her most precious kiss.
Fez snapped his fingers and…
(blankness)
(previous life memory finally let go and put back in its proper place)
Fez to self: Steven Hyde was at peace and could finally move on.
Hospital
Stephanie Van Sant held the hand of her brother-in-law, Derek. She didn't mean to hurt Alex. He just found out
about the affair that was going on since high school, the guilt was eating Stephanie up inside. Her parents told
her it was Alex that she needed to marry, he was the one with the college degree, he was the more
career-motivated of the brothers. The only thing she could do was have little trysts with his brother from the
time she turned 17 years old. It was a classic case of brothers fighting over the same woman. Derek was on his
way to tell Alex about the affair a month ago when his silver Lexus hit a tree. He was at his attorney's filing for
divorce.
"Derek, oh my God! You're finally opening up your eyes."
"Stephanie," Derek tried to get the words out of his mouth, "I—I love you."
"Ssh, no talking, darling." She kissed his forehead, "I love you too."
But first she bent down and kissed Derek on the lips before she left the room with a huge
whirl of excitement around her.
That's the first real feeling I've had in ages.
Fez flew overhead and smiled. He faded upward into the air.
What one car accident taketh away another one giveth back.
He earned his wings after he finished his task of reuniting the two souls, that regardless
of time and space, who would always be lovers.
END