Author's Note: I saw the Divergent movie today (and loved it) and have been plagued with this idea ever since, so I had no choice but to write it! This will probably only end up being a oneshot (unless people really want more) because as fun as this was to write, I don't know if I have the time or the attention span/creativity necessary to turn this into a full-fledged fic.
The characters belong to the creators of OUAT, the concept of Divergent belongs to Veronica Roth. I can only claim obsession. XD
Thanks to Sybelle and Invinciblerenegade on tumblr for beta-ing this for me!
After the test, Emma hadn't been able to sleep. Her parents had frowned at the dark circles beneath her eyes that morning when she'd joined them for breakfast, taking her hands and assuring her that she had nothing to be nervous about. Trust the test, they'd told her, and trust in herself. She had just nodded at them, mouth full of words that she could never say, secrets that she could never reveal…the same words that had haunted her, keeping her up all night as they echoed endlessly through her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Regina's face after Emma had finished her test, her eyes urgent and full of sympathy and maybe even fear as she uttered the most terrifying words that Emma had ever heard in her life.
"Your results were inconclusive…Abnegation, Erudite, and Dauntless."
"Emma, the test didn't work on you."
"You can't tell anyone, not even your parents."
"They'll try to kill you if they find out, Emma."
"They call it…Divergent."
Suddenly, everything that she had ever thought and felt about herself was being called into question, and it terrified her. Now, as she stands milling around with her parents before the start of her choosing ceremony, Emma finds her palms sweating, glancing over her shoulder and wishing she were anywhere else but here. She always imagined that her own choosing ceremony would be easy. She had never imagined this.
Her parents slip away from her as the crowd forms outside the doors of the Hub, waiting to be called in for the ceremony. As the leaders of Abnegation, they have connections to nearly everyone in their faction, and everyone seems to have something to catch up with them today. Emma clutches handfuls of her drab gray Abnegation dress and closes her eyes, trying to steady herself, trying to focus on the task at hand. She has to choose…and she has to hide who she really is.
How hard can it be?
As she looks over, trying to spot her parents in the crowd, she notices him—or rather, feels him noticing her. His eyes are deep cerulean, almost piercing as he catches her gaze. His eyes match his clothes, Erudite blue, and she wonders what exactly she's done to make him notice her. Usually, she's able to blend into crowds—Abnegation don't draw attention to themselves. She freezes as he studies her intently, as if he knows her somehow—she wonders if she's seen him somewhere before too—as if he knows her. As if he can somehow see through those stupid walls that she's built up over the years without really meaning to, make them tumble down with just a look. Are all Erudite like this? So perceptive, so observant? Or is it Emma? Suddenly her heart seems to stand still, worried that she's blown her cover already. Is she that obvious that even a complete stranger can tell that she's—
No. No, he can't know. It's impossible. Emma shakes her head as if to clear it, trying to take deep, even breaths to calm herself down. When she looks up again, he's still looking at her, studying her as if trying to figure her out, and Emma feels the tips of her ears begin to grow hot with embarrassment. Abnegation is not supposed to feel self-conscious…but then again, Emma supposes as she stands there looking at him, she's a lot of things that she isn't supposed to be.
There's commotion at the front of the crowd, and Emma realizes that they've begun to let people in to be seated for the ceremony. She looks around for her parents, but is unable to spot them in the sea of gray and black, red and blue and white that stretches before her.
"You look terrified," she hears a voice whisper low in her ear, and she looks over to see the guy from Erudite at her side as they go through the doors. "You need to relax."
"I'm not terrified," she whispers back, but it's a lie and they both know it. She bites her lip, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. "Well, maybe I am, but that doesn't change what I have to do." Nothing does.
"That's right," he says matter of fact. "That's what bravery means. It doesn't mean the total absence of fear. It means being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."
"Really?" Emma asks, her voice skeptical. "Is that the textbook definition?" she asks, gesturing at his clothes.
He grins cheekily at her. "I may have paraphrased."
Somehow, that of all things makes Emma smile. "What are you even doing talking to me anyway?" she asks.
"Is there some law about talking to pretty girls that I don't know about?" he counters back. "Because if there is—"
"Emma!"
Her mother's voice cuts through before he can finish his sentence, and Emma looks around to see her waving her over to a seat with the other members of their faction. Emma turns to the boy, giving him an apologetic smile. "I have to go."
"I can see that. But before you do, hang on." His hand is on her arm now, and she looks up into those eyes again, eyes that seem to know her even though she's a complete stranger. "Don't worry about the choosing. You already know what you have to do. I'm sure of it. Just go with your gut." He smiles at her and lets her go. "I think you're braver than you think you are."
His words stay with her as she finds her parents and sits down, clasping her hands tightly in her lap as she watches more people filter in, taking their seats with their factions. She watches her parents, wondering what they would do if they were her. David had been born into Abnegation, but her mother had been a transfer from Candor. Had she felt this way before she had made her choice?
I wish I could tell you, Mom…I wish I could tell you so much.
She sits as still as a statue as the ceremony begins, barely registering the sound of the Candor leader's voice as he welcomes them to the choosing ceremony. She glances around, seeing Cora, one of the leaders of Erudite, glancing at her before her eyes flicker back to the stage, where the first initiate—Aurora—has just transferred from Erudite to Amity. There is a smattering of applause as she joins her new faction before the next name is called. Emma's nails dig crevices into her palms, and she jumps as her mother puts her hand on top of hers, so much love and kindness shining in her brown eyes that Emma's heart nearly breaks. "I love you," her mother mouths as the crowd applauds once again.
"Emma Swan."
And here it is, the choice that will change the rest of her life. Emma's heart leaps into her throat as she slowly stands up, her parents stepping out into the aisle to give her room to leave her seat. Before she goes, she throws her arms around them both, closing her eyes as they enfold her into their embrace, savoring the feeling of her father's hand coming up to cradle the back of her head as it always does. They hold on for a moment longer, reluctant to let go, as if each of them know the choice that Emma is about to make.
On shaky legs, Emma makes her way down the stairs and onto the stage, where five bowls and a knife await her—one bowl representing each faction. Emma takes a good look at each one as she walks towards the table: water for Erudite, earth for Amity, glass for Candor, stones for Abnegation, and finally, fiery coals for Dauntless. Five bowls, five factions. One choice that will alter the rest of her days, and one knife to make that choice.
They make it seem so easy.
She's sure that everyone in the room can hear the way her heart is hammering against her ribcage as she approaches the table, taking a deep breath as she takes the knife into her hand. She holds up her other, gritting her teeth against the pain as the blade cuts into the tender flesh of her palm. Bright red blood wells up from the cut, like the blood that is pounding in her ears as she holds her hand over the bowl. Dauntless sits right next to Abnegation. Oh, the irony.
I don't know if I can leave them.
She wants to look back, but can't, forcing herself to stare at the two bowls before her. Her hand hovers over the gray stones of Abnegation—gray like her clothes, gray like her life. Next to it, the coals of Dauntless sit, the embers glowing brightly enough to nearly sting her eyes, and she knows her choice before she even makes it.
She shifts, and hears the sizzle as the blood from her hand hits the burning coals.
"Dauntless."
There is a roar as the Dauntless leap to their feet, welcoming her to their faction. Emma is offered a hand and jumps from the stage, immediately being pulled into a one-armed hug by someone she has never seen in her entire life. It is strange, and surreal, and so right somehow that she can't help the smile that flickers over her face.
When she sits down, she glances in the direction of her parents, catching their eyes as they stare at her. Her father is looking at her like he's never seen her before, wonder and shock fighting for position on his face, and for a moment Emma feels a pang, worried that she's made the wrong choice after all. Her parents are everything to her, how can she just walk away from them like that? What if…
What if I made a mistake?
But then she sees the pride shining in her mother's eyes even as tears stream down her cheeks, and she knows that she's made the best decision for herself. Her parents understand that. They know that. They are proud of her, and they would always love her.
I am Dauntless.
A few more choose their factions, but Emma doesn't pay attention until she realizes that the Dauntless are on their feet again, welcoming another new initiate. She rises with them, shocked to see the boy from before, the Erudite boy, striding down from the stage and being pulled into hugs and handshakes just as she was. He looks relaxed and happy, his eyes seemingly locked on the empty seat to her left, as if already claiming it as his own.
"See?" he whispers as he sits down next to her. Emma's breath hitches as he gently jostles her arm, not sure why she's acting like this. She's just made the biggest choice of her life, turned her back on her family, been brave for the first time that she can remember. Surely letting this former Erudite sit next to her is easy compared to what she's just done.
"I told you you were brave," he says, smiling at her. "You just proved me right. I'm Killian. Killian Jones."
Killian Jones. The name seems familiar somehow, or maybe she just thinks that because he seems so familiar to her.
"Emma," she whispers back as another girl is called up to choose her faction. "Emma Swan."
"Welcome to Dauntless, Emma Swan."
His eyes meet hers once again. In that moment, Emma knows.
She knows.
He's Divergent too. I'm…I'm not…
I'm not alone.
And later on in the ceremony, when she feels his fingers brush against hers beneath their seats, she takes his hand and holds it tight, breathing a sigh of relief when she feels him squeeze hers back.
