-1A/N: Hey, so this is my first SoN fic. Its short but was just plot bunny I wrote out at work. Much inspired by the Organ song of the same title, check them out. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy. R+R ;)
Memorize the City
It was just a normal day: went to school, hung out with my best friend, probably failed a math quiz, insulted and got insulted by Madison then went home, listened to some music then it all changed. I didn't even notice what was happening. I'm not an oblivious kind of person, I normally see things before they can sneak up on me, but not tonight.
I pulled up to her house and considered just honking the horn so I didn't have to exchange awkward conversation with her mother while she tried to convince her daughter to stay away from me. But I haul my ass to the door anyway. She's got me whipped and we're not even dating. As I raised my hand to the bell she slipped out the door, quickly closing it behind her.
"Hey." she said with a smile.
I felt my cheeks almost tear as I grinned back at her. "Hey. So what do you wanna do on this wonderful, same as every other night in LA, night?" Why can't I act cool around her?
We got into the car. "Let's just drive." I looked across at her and realised she was upset. Not red, puffy obvious upset, the worse one. Her cheeks were burning red and her eyebrows were knitted together like there was just too much going on in her head. "Spence, you ok?"
She looked back at me. "Yeah. My mom and dad are still… its not even them. Its me and my mom, we just keep… Can we just get out of here?"
I wanted to rush her away from all her problems. She didn't deserve to have her family fall apart - family is what the Carlin's are all about. I started the car and drove off. But not before I said something stupid again. "Sure. Tonight I'm your dyke in shining armour." Thankfully she just gave a little laugh and started looking through my MP3 for something to put on.
After a pit stop for ice cream we were still driving. Spencer was the morose DJ for the night. Now it was 'a lack of colour' by death cab for cutie. I'm not complaining but it's disturbing since she normally bounces about screaming to 'since you've been gone.' I decided she had to talk about it so I headed towards a quiet spot I know. And no, not make out point - I'm not Kelly. Its this little space that overlooks LA, it's beautiful and all you can hear is the hum of the city.
Spencer finally noticed we were somewhere new. "Ash?" I undid my seatbelt and sat sideways to face her.
"If you just wanna chill and think and be quiet with some gentle emo on, that's cool with me, I'm all for that. But if you decide you wanna talk about whatever happened or has gone on then I'm right here, ok?"
I think I finally said something right , she's just starring at me with watery eyes. She nodded and squeezed my hand before turning her attention back to the view. I just kept my eyes on her.
Song after song passed as the city lights hummed on. It was pitch dark now, the sky was a dark blue. The air was cool but it wasn't bitter, not with heated seats.
"What's this song?" she asked me quietly.
"Its the Organ, memorize the city." It was fitting.
"I like them." she was still just starring out the windshield. "I've never had that. A kiss where you feel drunk or something in your soul just wakens up. Everyone I've- every guy I've kissed, I've told myself I liked it. That I liked them but that's not true. I just thought I was meant to. But I like you. A girl. I know when I kiss you I'm going to feel all those things from the movies. I know I'll lose myself in you because I'm in love you."
I couldn't move. My brain was just frozen. All I managed was a throaty, "when?"
She just gave me a lopsided smile and inched forward. When she was too close to me to see anymore I let my eyes close. I could feel her almost touching me, could feel the warmth from her. I had to hold myself back. This had to be her decision. I wouldn't lose her to my own impatience. Then it just happened. Her lips were on mine. She softly sucked my bottom lip and I almost melted. It was the most subdued kiss of my life and now the only one worth mentioning.
When she pulled back she let her forehead rest against mine. I had to take a breath and hold it, I had to compose myself for her. This was a big deal, so I burned the memory of how she tasted into my head and finally spoke.
"What did you feel?" I asked as I tucked a stand of blonde hair behind her ear. She opened her eyes and I saw more of her in that moment than I ever had. She let me look into her soul.
"Like I finally found myself. Because of you Ash." A tear fell down her cheek so I kissed it away. "It felt right." She added.
"That was new for me too." She needed to understand this wasn't so much an orientation thing, it was an us thing.
"Kiss me again."
How could I not?