A Mistake Gone Right
His fault or mine? I really didn't know who to blame. Was this even a blame worthy situation? Wasn't this supposed to be some right of passage into adulthood or whatever? I guess if you asked the people back from my hometown, they would unanimously place the blame on the woman. I grew up being told it was women's fault for dressing that way, for provoking him into questionable actions, blah blah blah.
However, unless you've been in that sort of situation, it's really hard to put the blame solely on one person. And for him and I, it was our fault and that was the truth. I tried to blame him; I really tried. I told myself repeatedly that he should have known I wasn't like all the other willing women. That he should have known drinking was influencing my decision. That obviously in sober state I wouldn't have agreed to engaging in such behavior with him. All of my excuses were weak because even I could remember the truth. The truth was I sidled up to him, awkward and desperate for something akin to passion and he had reciprocated with a red solo cup in his hand.
"Sakura," he gestured towards the center of the room were most of the party was gathered, "haven't seen you around this scene before". He moved closer to me and glancing up, I saw his face was very very close to mine.
Black hair was falling in his face and boldly, I reached up to push the stray strand away, "You just haven't looked hard enough," I lied smoothly. I felt strangely excited as I moved my hand from his hair to the back of his neck.
"Hmm?" His voice was low and he wrapped one arm securely around my waist. His eyes penetrated mine daring me to back down, "Have a drink," he offered his red cup to me.
"I have my own, " I replied coyly bringing my own cup to my lips.
I couldn't remember who initiated the first kiss, but I do remember being backed harshly into the wall, both of our cups falling to the ground. Beer splashed my shoes and I only remember thinking about my ruined shoe for half a second before letting out a small whimper of desire. The cold rough brick walls had felt so good against my heated body.
The lust built fast and his hands were roaming all over my flushed body. My leg was wrapped sensually around his waist and his hand traveled up my thigh and around my butt. He gripped the flesh hard and ground his core against mine.
Nearing the room, he suddenly lifted me up and my legs crossed behind his waist in response and I kissed him passionately. He carried me into the empty room not bothering to separate his lips from mine. He let me lead the kiss and I tried to remember all my tricks with a hazy mind. In the back of my mind, I vaguely remembered wondering where Ino was.
I most remember the feeling of strong desire. I wanted him and he very clearly wanted me. He must have felt the desperation I felt in my body because his actions didn't slow. His look was smug and frowning slightly, I wiped the smirk off his face by crashing my lips to his. Our teeth mashed to gather as we tried to gain dominance.
So lost I was in that, that I didn't even notice him closing the door and suddenly we were on the bed.
The next few seconds were a blur of hazy colors in my mind. Red from the top I was wearing, black from my skirt, pink from the laced bra showing as he pushed my top up to kiss my belly button, blue from his shirt..
I don't remember who took off whose clothes, but suddenly they were gone. I wondered, was it me? Did I tear his clothes off? For my dignity's sake, I hoped it wasn't me. Did he like how I looked?
Before I could even ponder those thoughts, he was on top of me returning my feverish needy kisses.
His hands ran up and down my sides, drawing a soft moan from me, stopping at my breasts.
He felt me squirm in embarrassment and pulled to smirk at my must have been red face. Keeping his eyes on me, he moved face down to my breast and placed a soft kiss on my nipple before taking the soft flesh in his mouth. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I moaned embarrassingly at the impact.
He lifted his face from my breast and stroked my cheek once. "Open your eyes," he murmured gutturally. My eyes shot open and I whimpered when I felt his hand move to palm my neglected breast. He watched in satisfaction as I reacted lustily to his actions. I pulled him down for a long kiss and closed my eyes losing myself in the moment.
I remember the emotions clearly, the want, the fire, the lust, there was so much lust.
When he entered me, I felt the stretching pain and I must have groaned in response because when I opened my eyes, I saw him nod as he waited for me to adjust.
He leaned down to kiss away a tear that had betrayed my unrelenting eyes.
He slid his tongue over the red marking on my neck and I let out a sigh to let him know to move again. I was so ready for the small piece of heaven that was minutes away.
He thrust into me and I felt a jolt of unimaginable pleasure. I squeezed my eyes shut and I gasped out loud as he thrust into my again. He lips met mine and I felt his tongue pass through my lips. I remembered the alcoholic taste, but the animalistic desire overpowered the alcohol.
I felt myself tighten and my eyes snapped shut.
He kissed me one last time before he drew back to whisper in my ear, "Come for me."
I came hard with my toes curling and my hands trembling against his bare back; his name slipped from my mouth, "Sasuske!" I felt completely at ease, no worries and free. It was such a wonderful feeling and I let myself drown in the small moments of pleasure.
While I basked in the aftermath, I saw the intense look in his eyes as he let out a swear. I felt the pleasure of him stiffening an releasing into me. I felt like he had marked me and I saw stars as I pulled him down for a simple inexperienced kiss.
He pulled out and flipped us over so that I lay on top of him.
No words were exchanged as we both fell asleep still panting from the effect.
I woke up in a panic because I had been dreaming about about running straight off a cliff. When my eyes shot open, my panic turned into fear because I was in an unknown location in bed with no clothes on.
I stared into the face of a sleeping Uchiha Sasuke and slowly moved to untangle myself from him. Still in shock, I slipped out of the bed shivering as the cold air kissed my body and grabbed my clothes that were tossed haphazardly around the room last night.
Feeling tears well up in my eyes at what I had done, I slipped into my clothes slowly starting to realize that I had lost my virginity, something so important to me, to the man I barely knew who was still sleeping in the bed.
I had to stop a sob threatening to escape my lips and let only a few tears shed as I walked towards the door wincing at the soreness in between my legs.
Taking one last glance back at the sleeping man, I opened the door and walked out so utterly filled with regret.
I made it back to my dorm before breaking down. I banged hard on the door noting I didn't bring my keys with me last night and waited for Ino to open the door. Looking left and right, I prayed for no one else to walk out of their dorms.
Needless to say, she was in shock at the sight of my tear stained face. Looking over her, I saw that she was still in last night's clothes, but at least she made it back to her own bed.
"Ino.." I started to say, but as soon as the words left my mouth, a sob left my lips, "I don't understand how this could have happened!
"W-What happened?" Ino pulled me into the room and lead me towards the couch in the living room. I sat down against it wrapping the baby blue blanket covered with flowers around me.
I could only shrug and say that I slept with Uchiha Sasuke.
Knowing how much this meant to me, she sighed and went to the kitchen to get our go to comfort drink since our childhood-hot chocolate with marshmallows to dip.
She came back and sat down in front of me leaning against the coffee table offering me a cup and I took it.
"I just don't understand why? Like, why did this happen to me?" I cried out feeling my heart break all over. There was a part of me that held onto the childish dream of having only one man to be intimate with. And now, it could never happen.
I took a sip savoring the sweet yet slightly bitter taste of hot chocolate. I'm not a virgin anymore... I thought and burst out crying all over again. Ino silently patted my back, letting the tears pour out freely. The blanket was soaked by the time I finished crying.
I let out a small smile to let her know I'd be fine, but it was incredibly late and I knew we both had exams the next morning, "Ino, please go to sleep, we have that stupid exam tomorrow or is it today?" I let out a watery laugh. "I guess today because morning is here."
She looked unsure, worried for my state of being, but I gave her another small smile to let her know I would be okay. She moved to go sleep in her room, pausing to ask one last time if I was okay.
I nodded once saying, "Yeah, I'll go to bed in a minute." I heard her footsteps fade away and I remained seated staring at the slowly lightening sky outside through the window. I knew this happened all the time. People slept together; it was college; it was a time to explore. But that had never been me. I didn't want to explore and I sure as hell didn't want my first time to have been with someone I barely knew. I remained in deep thought for a while before accidentally falling asleep against the couch.
I had a very fitful sleep.
Before I knew it, it was eight in the morning and I jerked awake, sweating profusely. I had been dreaming, but I couldn't remember the events, only the emotions. There was happiness, passion, jealousy and I'm so sure Sasuke was in my dreams. Fuck. Even my dreams wouldn't relieve me of this new nightmare that was reality.
Jealous of the closed door to Ino's room, I dragged myself to the bathroom and stripped down to my underwear. The sight of me in the mirror caused me to to shriek. An unfamiliar girl stood exactly where I was facing the mirror. She had an unrecognizable tired, slightly puff from crying face and there were reddened splotches on certain areas of my body.
Hickeys. I shuddered as I traced the neatly lined marks across my collar bone.
Sasuke nipped my collar bone and I let out a pleased moan. Smirking against my neck, he nipped me again. I grabbed his shoulders for support.
At the memory, I clapped my hand over my mouth disgusted.
The sudden banging at the door had me wrapping my towel around me hurriedly.
"Sakura?" Ino called out probably in reaction to my shriek.
"Ino! Look at this! This is disgusting!"
Ino glanced at the line of marks I was pointing to and instead of being aghast, I saw her try to bite back a smile. She really tried to hide her laughter, but couldn't as she choked out, "Uchiha Sasuke, man or animal?"
Glaring at her for her lack of tactic, I said, "It's not funny."
Horrified that she insulted me, she tried to placate me by offering an apology, "I'm really sorry, For-Sakura, I didn't mean to make a joke of it..."
After a quiet moment, I let out a small questioning whisper to answer her, "An animal?"
I sighed as I stepped into the shower tentatively tracing a hickey I knew to be there and gasped at the onslaught of memory.
His lips kissed me down my body, nipping and sucking as he pleased, doing things I had never even fantasized about doing. I didn't complain for I was lost in my own world of ecstasy. His tongue roamed over my body and I couldn't, or didn't want, to do anything about it for I was trapped in pleasure. The soft mewling sounds coming out of my encouraged him.
In the shower, I tried to wash the scent of Sasuke off of me. I scrubbed my skin raw angrily, but I could still feel his presence over me, on me, as the details of last night came back more clearly hitting me like a bullet.
The pleasure...
I cried again, this time because of the guilt.
The guilt of desiring more.
I turned off the shower dreading the upcoming exam. I could barely remember anything intellectual over these very visual details.
I dress in black pants and a turtleneck and clipped half of my hair up leaving tendrils of hair to frame my face. I couldn't take any chances and waited quietly sipping on a cup of coffee as I waited for Ino to finish her shower.
As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom, I saw her eyebrows shoot up at the sight of my outfit. She wore a denim skirt and a blue polo and all I could do was send her a challenging glare daring her to question my ware.
She looked pointedly at me, but when I snapped, "It's cold outside," she rolled her eyes and moved to gather her stuff.
We walked out of our door and knocked on the door across from ours to wait for Tenten and Hinata.
As friends from high school, we decided to room in the same dorm and floor, but for once I dreaded facing all three of them at once.
Tentent opened the door yelling "Hinata! Hurry you're ass! We're going to be-" she stopped short noticing my attire, "Uh, Sakura, what the hell are you wearing right now? It's fucking hot outside"
I looked helplessly at Ino and she could only look away, "I was cold?" I half asked and half stated. I silently prayed for no more questions to be asked.
When Hinata came out, she didn't as any questions and I let out a sigh of relief grateful for tension before the exam. It served as a distraction from my night before.
We left the dorm towards the direction of class and I saw Sasuke leaning against the hood of his car with another girl wrapped in his arms.
We made eye contact and he smirked at me. Enraged, I only glared and walked stiffly past him. That asshole didn't even have the shame to look away...but there was a part deep inside of me that felt slightly pleased at being able to catch his eye again this morning.
In class, I felt uncomfortable, like I was a completely different person. I was just so aware of what had happened the night before and I felt like everyone's eyes were on me, but I couldn't do anything but duck my head down to hide myself from this new unfair world.
"S-Sakura-chan?" Hinata called sweetly. At my name, I glanced at her with slightly reddened eyes, "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
I loved this girl, she was always so concerned about others, but this time I didn't want to talk so I just sniffled and shook my head.
The worst part about this morning was him being in this class. Of course he never showed up on regular lecture days, but today just had to be an exam day.
When he walked him, I suddenly felt so vulnerable and naked; my sense of security was lost and I just didn't know when that would change.
"Oi! Teme! You decided to show up today? I didn't see you last night! Where were you?" Naruto yelled suggestively from behind where we sat.
I slumped down low in my seat at the insinuation, but I could hardly blame the idiot for saying that.
As Sasuke walked past Naruto, he bopped him on the head smirking that beautiful smirk I had fallen for last night. It was the same smirk that I had felt against my lips and body.
His onyx eyes pierced me to the very soul and I felt my hands move to brush the stray strand of hair falling across his face. He closed his eyes as I made contact and pulled my hand to cup his cheeks where I marveled at the smoothness of his skin.
He sat down to the girl I saw this morning and I looked away in disgust. I felt a pang of hurt stab my already crushed heart. Why me?
His lips brushed mine softly and he pulled back to look into my eyes before resuming his attack on my lips. I gasped to take a breath and he took advantage and plunged his tongue into my mouth. The alcohol getting to my head, I refused to lose the tongue battle and I fought him for dominance. His hand crept up to the back of my head, tangling the pink locks in his hand and I fisted my hand against his shirt while the other pulled him closer.
I gasped at the sudden memory and dug my head deeper into my crossed arms on the desk.
I felt exhausted all of sudden and the sound of Hinata and Naruto talking almost lulled me into a much needed sleep.
However, the professor walked in carrying the stack of exams and I heard many people groan, but one stood out to me in particular. That groan had embedded itself into my memory and there was nothing I could do ease the ache it caused.
There was little said by the students as the professor passed out the exam for us to begin.
Only two people failed the exam: Sasuke and me. Both easily one of the best students in the year.
Rewritten 9/9/2014. Hopefully better? But it's going to make reading the next few chapters awkward because they haven't been changed yet. You have been warned? Hopefully the writing was better in this one!
Oh do Review?
Sasusaku779