Short one shot inspired by the promo tonight and something my friend Mathilde said. Hope you enjoy!
She knows it was hard for him to let her go, to leave her alone by herself and not have her back, but he had. Because when he said no she'd explained exactly why she needed to do this alone, and as soon as she said she was going to see her mother he couldn't really say no. Mothers were a personal thing they shared only when they were ready to, and Ziva wasn't ready yet.
It was a little strange at first because since arriving in Berlin early this morning he hadn't been out of eye sight from her and yeah, she felt a little empty without him having her back around the clock.
When she walked into their hotel room it was quiet, and far too quiet when it's Tony concerned. The fact that the television wasn't even going told her exactly where he would be. As she looked up right at the bed she saw him. She closed the door softly because he looked as though he was asleep, however she doubted he was truly asleep. He won't sleep until he knows she is back and safe, with him. He does look very peaceful though, Tony's always looked peaceful when he was resting or sleeping, like he had no cares in the world.
She walked up next to the bed and before she even thinks she carefully lays down on the bed beside him. It's not like they are going to discuss sleeping arrangements, they are at a point when there is no real need to discuss it. They both know they are going to share. It's different though because this is the first time they have just both silently agreed to share, all the times before this –even Paris- they had discussed the situation at least somewhat.
Almost as soon as her body comes to rest on the mattress his eyes flicker and they search in sleepiness until they settle on hers. And as soon as he does she watches as comfort falls across his face, because she's back and she's safely in reach of him if he needs to protect her. She just stares at him because she doesn't really know what to say right now, and he doesn't seem to mind her silence, because at least she's here next to him.
She doesn't know if she wants to talk about her mother yet, she knows he shared about his and she should honestly return the favour and let him in, but she hasn't seen her mother since she left for the Army so she guesses he won't mind letting her off for a little while. He knows she will tell him eventually and he's willing to wait until she's ready. And right now, she can see this all on his face, he doesn't need to say it aloud for her to understand it. They've always been good at that.
It's what makes them such great partners, such great friends, and such great… something else. She never has been able to figure out what it exactly is that they are, what they have layered beneath their friendship. Maybe one day soon she will truly know what it is.
He smiles at her softly then and she's not too sure exactly why she deserved that smile but these days she tends to enjoy his smiles way too much to bother thinking so in-depth to why she is receiving them. She smiles back in return and that tells him she's good, that she's okay and that seeing her mother for the first time in years had been nice. That it hadn't upset her like she always thought it would.
Sometimes when he just understands the way she works without words and the way he stares at her like he is with that smile gracing his lips all she wants to do is shuffle close and wrap herself around him. But she doesn't, she never does. But she's getting close to fully letting herself go when it comes to him because she knows he pretty much almost has. He doesn't keep much from her anymore and he's so open it almost scares her. Because when it came to love she has always been scared.
He rolls on his side so he can face her straight on and her heartbeat skips a slight bit quicker than before. She won't put it past him right now to do something that tightens her heart and makes feel like the most loved woman on the planet, because when it came to tough times for her lately he's been making her feel that a lot.
His hand doesn't find hers like last time because she has it tucked under her cheek, instead he settles for running a finger along her arm gently back and forth, so he has her full attention on him. Not that he didn't have it already.
"You could have stayed longer if you wanted" he said quietly. Because she's back a lot earlier than he thought she would be and he hopes she didn't think that she had to make her visit to her mother quick so he wouldn't worry where she was. He hopes that wasn't the case.
She shakes her head softly and her smile warms his heart a little, because she was touched that he was worried he'd done something wrong.
"No, it's okay. I wanted to come back when I did" she replied softly. He doesn't realise it but the way his finger runs along her arm right now is twisting her heart tighter with each stroke. It doesn't help when he looks at her like that either. She has a feeling if she doesn't risk a little she's not going to get much more from him tonight, so was there any real harm in letting him in right now? Letting him get that little bit closer? Because she knows she wants him to.
She moves the hand that's under her cheek and she finds his hand, because she wants more of him and she's finally going to do something about it. And even though right now is a really upsetting time in her life after losing her father and trying to hunt down his killer her mother was right, she did look very happy. Because deep down she is and most of that would be because of the man in front of her. The one who grips onto her hand in return because yeah, he likes it when they do this too.
However they are just too stubborn to admit it aloud yet. Or maybe they are just both scared, because going down this road is a risky one.
"You should get some sleep" he tells her, because they have a lot to do tomorrow, hunting down someone for revenge isn't an easy game and they both know that. This time she nods, because he is right.
"You should get some too" she returns, because she knows whether or not she tells him to sleep he will be worried about her all night.
"I promise I'll try" he smiles, because she knows him too well. There will be only one thing that will keep him asleep, one thing that will leave him knowing she is alright all though the night. And right now she thinks she could really do with being held in his arms for the night. So close that she can feel his breath warm on her neck and his chest rise calmly behind her back. To be honest there is nothing more than that that she wants right this minute.
The ball is in her court and she's got to make her move. She leans forward and her heart is racing against her ribcage because she knows exactly what she is about to do right now and she is sure her heart will stop. This is the biggest step she's ever taken with him but she's about to do it, because he's given her a lot lately and she hasn't returned his love enough.
When her lips touch the corner of his time feels frozen in the moment and yeah, this was the best thing she has ever done. Kissing him always felt right and this time it meant so much more than it did seven years ago. He kisses her back and as soon as he does she knows she's done the right thing, she hasn't ruined their chance, she's just made it a brighter possibility. And that makes her heart so light.
She pulls back way before she would truly prefer but this was only to assure him that she wasn't going anywhere, that she was going to be here and if she left she would take him with her. Every step of the way.
"I'm not going anywhere Tony" she told him and his eyes were staring at her in a way they never had before, and he wasn't holding back any of his love from his gaze.
"Neither am I" he said, because he's got her back, always. His smile that he gave her was special and when his arms came around her and pulled her in tight she realised that yeah, she could maybe get used to sharing a bed with him like this.
She's glad she got a peaceful sleep last night wrapped up in Tony's arms because today wasn't a very good day. She knows it's her nature to hunt people down and bring revenge for what they have done, but after today she doesn't think she can handle doing it quite like this. She knows she had Tony worried all day, he was chasing after her everywhere and at that one point when he almost lost her he'd been in a panic.
But he'd held on and as soon as the day was over and the one responsible for her fathers death was taken care of he relaxed. She didn't however, and she guesses they ended up in this bar because she needed to relax, and like the rest of their time here Tony had just blindly followed her.
His job isn't to protect her anymore, it's now to comfort her. And not that it is really his job to do that, he just takes the roll upon himself to look after her. Because she's important to him.
"To Berlin" he says at her side quietly, she hasn't realised she hasn't being paying attention to what is going on right now, her thoughts are blocking up her mind. Her eyes snap up and she turns to look at him, he's smiling at her. He's toasting to Berlin, to their time here. She's not sure if the toast is to the start of trying to move past her father's horrible death because yes they got the guy, or if it's about them. A toast to what is in the small steps of a beginning for them. Nothing has been said but they are at that point now where things between them, they were starting to actually look like it was going somewhere.
And whatever one it is she will raise her glass to it with her partner.
She's too quiet for him and he doesn't like it, he wants to make her smile again, like last night. He craves a smile from her right now and honestly, she deserves to smile more. When she puts her drink down on the bar a new song starts and it's a softer song. He doesn't think for more than a second before he grabs her hand softly and tugs her out towards the dance floor.
"They're playing our song" he charms with a smile, because he just wants to make her happy tonight, he doesn't like sad Ziva. He prefers the happy one that laughs at his bad jokes.
To begin with she looks shocked, like she didn't expect him to pull her out onto the floor for and impromptu dance. But she doesn't think about it and her arm goes around his shoulder automatically and her hand slips into place where it belongs in his larger one.
She doesn't know why he does this, why he goes out of his way to make her happy. But she loves him for it.
He pulls her close and sways them to the music in the background, his eyes never once leaving hers. He's so focused on her and he wants her to realise that right now to him, all he cares about is her in front of him as they have this dance. And not for a second does she drop her gaze from his, because right now all that mattered to her was him. Her thoughts from today all but gone for now.
"Tony" she whispered and a smile ghosted over her face "We do not have a song" she said, because she cannot remember ever having a certain song being theirs, it would be something she would remember.
He smiled in return and leant even closer to her. She was smiling, he loved that she was smiling.
"We do now" he said as he pulled her tighter against him and she all but melted against his figure as they danced slow and peacefully to the music. There was a reason she fell in love with this man.
She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in all day and she leant her forehead against his cheek. She was relaxed, and it was because of him.
"Thank you for coming Tony" she whispered against his neck. She didn't know what she would have done without him here. And to think she didn't want to bring him along in the beginning because it was dangerous. It would have been more dangerous for her if he hadn't of had her back the whole time.
"I will always be here" he whispered in return. There was more to that comment and she knew it.
He would always be there to have her back at work, he would always be there to be her partner for whatever she needed him to help with. He would always be there to be her friend and he would always be there to stand before her and hold her heart in his hands with a sure grip, never letting her go.
Hope you liked it!
Hundan