Let Me Go
Ok, thanks to everybody who reviewed when I first posted this story. I kinda got caught because I used a song in it, so the admins deleted this and my other fic, "I'll Be" (personally, I think it was an anti-journey person who turned me in), so I will be reposting each of them, without the song lyrics.
Thanks again for the reviews.
Clenching her small fists together tighter to conserve the warmth, Courtney buried her hands deeper into her jacket pockets, it was unusually chilly for the middle of May. She turned her head toward the opposing direction of the wind to keep her blond hair from whisping in the wind and becoming tangled and moved over to one of the chairs outside of Kelly's to take a seat as she waited for Jason.
He was a little late and she couldn't wait too much longer, her boss was very strict about being late, and she needed a job.
Hearing his soft tone of voice that was saved just for her, call out her name, she turned toward the wind as he approached her and smiled. Entangling her arms around his neck, Courtney pushed off her toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
She pulled away enough to look into his face; she gave him another smile and then replaced it with a stern look. "You're late."
Jason raised his brow, "since when did you become so strict on punctuality?"
"About ten minutes ago, when you didn't show up."
Sticking his bottom lip out enough so it looked like he was pouting, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"
"I suppose I could." She shivered as a new gust of wind blew past the couple.
"Why didn't you just wait inside until I showed up?" he asked, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, trying to warm her up.
"Because I have to get back home and study," she pulled back, "you know? Final exams that determine whether I get my bachelor's."
Jason nodded, continuing to stare into her sapphire eyes, "yeah, yeah I remember." He smiled and clasped his hands with hers, "so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow." Leaning down, Jason captured her lips with his, taking a moment to savor the moment between the two before pulling away, "Bye."
"Bye."
After looking once more at the man who knew her so well, but yet not at all, she turned and headed to work.
Jason watched as she gave him one last smile before turning the corner and out of his sight. He had thought for sure she had mentioned something about being done with exams; he probably misunderstood her.
Removing his hands from the warm pockets of his leather jacket he opened the front door to Kelly's causing the bell above to ring, signaling his entrance. The few patrons in the diner looked up but quickly reverted back to their previous actions once they saw specifically who had entered.
He was unfortunately going to have to eat alone tonight; something he hadn't really done a lot of since he met Courtney only a few months before.
Hours later, Courtney stood on the stage, behind the tacky gold curtain waiting for Myra to come backstage, signaling her turn to take the stage once again.
Stepping onto the stage, Courtney ignored the yells in whistles from the screaming, drunk men as she did her number. She wasn't Courtney when she was up here, no, she was Daisy.
She was ashamed of herself. She lost a little more of her soul and dignity each time she stepped foot onto the small stage.
But it hurt more when she had to lie to Jason.
Before she stepped off stage and back behind the curtain, something from the crowd pulled her back and she turned where her gaze landed upon his.
Sapphire on crystal.
Blue on blue.
The look in his eyes hit her hard. She had seen him look at other people that way, but never had he looked at her like that before.
Before she could react, he began to back up and head back out the front entrance.
"Jason!"
Forgetting her surroundings and where she was, Courtney ran off the stage and to the back door, hoping to catch him before he disappeared into the night.
"Jason, wait!"
His body whipped around angrily, "did you not trust me?"
"What? Of course I did…I just…I wasn't proud of it." The overwhelming urge to cry hit Courtney hard, but she still managed to keep the tears at bay. "I didn't want you to think less of me."
"So that's why you lied to me?" He wasn't mad that she was a stripper; she probably did need the money. But why didn't she tell him the truth?
"No, I just…" She couldn't explain herself, and now, now it was over before it really even began.
Jason nodded as he broke eye contact with her. "That's what I thought." He knew he was doing the wrong thing, maybe she did have a good explanation, but he was hurt; he was hurt for being lied to by the one person who he had found that had actually understood who he was.
Ignoring her distraught voice as she continued to explain herself, Jason turned his back on her and began to disappear into the darkness, leaving her alone as the rain began to fall.
She stood there for what seemed like days, but in reality was less than five minutes before Myra forced her to come back inside, managing to convince her that if she didn't she would end up with a cold, or worse, pneumonia.
Throwing her body onto the small couch in the dressing room backstage, she continued to let the tears fall. "He's gone."
"Who? That pretty boy that you're so madly in love with."
Despite herself, Courtney let out a small laugh at the other woman's comment, "I don't love him."
"Really?" handing Courtney her clothes that she had arrived in earlier that evening, she plopped her body down next to Courtney, "is that why night after night you come in to work with that…that look on your face."
"What look?"
"Oh please, Court. You know exactly what I am talking about. That look that says, 'I'm in love, and nobody can tell me otherwise…well, unless it's just the sex."
Shaking her head, she wiped her tear stained cheeks, "we haven't had sex, and from the looks of things, we never will."
By the time Courtney made it home it was almost three in the morning. More than anything she wanted to just allow her body to collapse on the couch in front of her and cry herself to sleep.
But she couldn't.
Right now she had to go across the hall to Mrs. Razzoti's and get Brandon, who she was hoping was sound asleep, although she highly doubted it, knowing he couldn't sleep when it rained.
Tossing her belongings onto the couch, she slowly made her way across the hall and knocked lightly on the door labeled 4C.
A short, plump woman with white hair that was pulled into a bun answered the apartment door. She grinned at the young woman before her, "hello, Courtney."
Courtney mustered up the best smile she could, "hey, Mrs. Razzoti, is he asleep?" the woman shook her head, "I didn't think he would be, considering it's raining…"
"Mommy!" The four-year-old boy with a head full of curly blonde hair, that was desperately in need of a cut; ran into his mother's arms. "The rain is too loud for me to go to sleep."
Courtney nodded as she readjusted the boy in her arms, "is it? Well maybe you'll have better luck in your Spiderman bed. Tell Mrs. Razzotie good-night and thank-you."
"Good-night Mrs. Razzotie, thanks for watching me while mommy worked."
With one final good-bye between the two women, Courtney and Brandon headed across the hall. Letting the door shut behind her, Courtney continued on carrying her son into his bedroom and laid him down in his Spiderman themed bed.
Pulling the sheet and comforter over Brandon's body, she leaned forward placing a kiss on his forehead, "night, sweetie. I love you."
"I love you too, mommy." With one last smile to her son she stood, but was halted by his voice, "are you gonna spend the day with me, tomorrow?"
"Yep, I'm all yours."
"Yes! Can we go to the park?"
"We'll see."
"Mom, watch this!"
"I see. Just be careful!" Courtney watched as her son excitedly rode his bike down the cement trail, without training wheels. Courtney's smile fell as her gaze came upon a familiar pair of blues.
She bit her bottom lip, wanting to keep the tears at bay.
His hands were stuck in the pockets of his leather jacket, and he turned his gaze to the little boy, who seconds ago just called the woman he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with, mom.
Hearing her son call out for her again, she broke the gaze and started after Brandon.
Thanks again for all the reviews the first time around, and since there are other journey boards, maybe I will eventually post them over there, where I won't get in trouble for using song lyrics.
P.S. I am working on ch.6 of SL and ch10 of IO. They should both be up by the end of the week.