3 days after the escape from the Drifter...

Chapter One

Jacen closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of air, attempting to steady his breathing and heart rate so he could reach a meditative state. That level of tranquility was something that had eluded him since coming to Bast Castle.

He had wanted to use meditation to bring into sharper focus his memories of the last several weeks; since his release from carbonite really. The more he concentrated on those memories the more it made him sick to his stomach as he relived all that he had done while under Nom Anor's control. Using mind control on Danni to gain access to an experimental drug; then using her to dupe Anakin into agreeing to test it; letting the Yuuzhan Vong know of Hapes allegiance with the Galactic Alliance; manipulating Tahiri into using her healing powers because Nom Anor wanted to see what she was capable of; then kidnapping Tahiri and bringing her to the Drifter, where after escaping Yuuzhan Vong custody she'd experienced some kind of a mental breakdown and went on a killing spree. They didn't even know for sure if she was still alive – though Anakin believed she was.

He opened his eyes, heart racing and breathing erratic as guilt over the things he had done began to eat away at him once more. No wonder reaching a calm state necessary for meditation was beyond his grasp. Whenever he closed his eyes, he relived the things he had done, the friends and family he had betrayed.

He raked his fingers through his thick hair just as the door chime sounded. He considered not answering it – even knowing the person who was on the other side of it. But he couldn't avoid her forever and had a funny feeling she would not go away so easily this time.

He didn't move from where he was but signaled through the Force that she could come in if she wanted. His visitor walked in and took a seat opposite him on the floor. Her Force presence was calm and focused as usual, but Jacen detected a hint of worry leaking through – directed at him.

"You have been attempting to meditate," Tenal Ka stated.

Jacen allowed himself a brief smile. "Attempt is definitely the right word for it."

"I did not wish to disturb you but since meditation is proving unsuccessful, perhaps you would feel better to just talk about what is bothering you."

"You already know what's bothering me."

"We have always been close, Jacen, but I am not a mind reader. I do not want to make an incorrect assumption regarding what is going on in your heard."

Jacen knew that was his opening to confide in her, but still he hesitated. It wasn't as if he didn't want to. If there was one person in the galaxy he felt comfortable talking to about anything it was Tenal Ka. What held him back was knowing he had deceived her. He had been privy to all the information on the Yuuzhan Vong the Hapes Consortium was willing to share as newest member of the Galactic Alliance. Not to mention how he had been distant, even blown her off more than once so he could continue to develop Tahiri's abilities in secret.

"Jacen, I am not angry with you," said the red-haired warrior, breaking the silence.

"I thought you said you weren't a mind reader."

"That was merely Jedi intuition combined with having known you for so long."

He detected a faint smile on her lips and that made him feel marginally better. "If you were, you would be well within your rights to feel that way."

"You were not yourself. You cannot be held responsible when that organism implanted in your brain was controlling you."

Jacen disagreed. "I'd like to believe that but if I was any kind of a Jedi I would have questioned why I was doing the things that I was doing; why I had periods of blackouts. I've had a lot of time to think and it's making me wonder if something like this had happened to Anakin or Jaina, or even you, if the end result would have been the same."

"Jacen, even the strongest of minds have breaking points or weaknesses," Tenal Ka reflected. "It is part of being human – something you used to remind me of often when we were younger."

"It doesn't change the fact that I was the one doing those things. If Anakin had died that would have been on me. My actions were the reason he was on the Drifter in the first place. We don't even know what happened to Tahiri or Master Horn. If Tahiri did survive, the person she is now is because of what I did."

"Have you spoken to Anakin to see if he shares the same perspective as you?"

"I don't need to talk to my brother to know how he feels."

"You should still speak with him, explain your side of things. You cannot avoid him forever, and you will have at least made the attempt to reconcile. After that it is up to him on what to do next."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It is not easy but it is the most logical course of action."

How was it that after a short talk with Tenal Ka he could feel better than he'd had since Nom Anor restored his memories? She really was amazing. For about the thousandth time he counted himself lucky to have her as his friend.

The word friend reminded him that there was still a lot to sort out between the two of them; words that had been exchanged just before he had been frozen in carbonite to stop the Sickness virus from fully spreading through his body.

He felt like Tenal Ka's previous advice to talk with his brother held true here as well. Gathering his courage, he said, "with everything that's happened we haven't talked about us."

He could tell his abrupt change in topics – or maybe it was the topic he had changed to – momentarily startled her.

Tenal Ka recovered quickly enough, saying, "what is it you wish to talk about?"

Here goes nothing, he thought nervously. "On Valc, when I was about to be put into carbonite you said some things. I mean, more specifically you said you loved me. Did you mean that? Or am I interpreting that wrong? Did you mean you loved me as a friend – "

He wasn't sure how long he might have rambled on for if Tenal Ka hadn't made it perfectly clear to him in that moment what she had meant by leaning forward and placing her lips on his. The first time she had ever kissed him he had been completely shocked by her actions – not the least of which it being a completely open display of affection in front of all their friends at the Jedi Academy. Now, years later, the overwhelming feeling he had was relief. Relief that her feelings for him were as strong as what he felt for her. Relief that with one kiss Tenal Ka had conveyed she wanted much more than just friendship from him.

When they parted, faces still very close together, Tenal Ka said in barely audible whisper, "I meant what I said. I only wished I had not waited until I thought I was going to lose you to say it."

Jacen reached out, caressing her cheek with his hand. He wondered why it had taken them so long to reach that moment – why they had made up excuses to just remain friends. It all seemed so silly now. There's no turning back, Jacen thought to himself by closing the distance between them and initiating the kiss this time...

[*[*[*[*[*[

Tenal Ka was in very high spirits when she used Bast Castle's communication room to make contact with the Royal Palace on Hapes. She had been off the grid for days, completely out of contact with the Consortium. For the Queen Mother that was unacceptable. Running off on rescue missions and fighting the Yuuzhan Vong were no longer considered a part of her duties.

Now, it was back to reality and she needed to contact her parents to let them know she was all right and would be returning soon. The selfish part of her was already thinking of asking Jacen to return with her to Hapes. The last time she had been scheduled to return home had been after the genocide she had witnessed on Dathomir. Jacen had offered to escort her home back then and she had turned him down. Of course, they had ended up taking a detour in the Imperial Remnant to stop the spread of the same virus that had infected the witches of Dathomir. Jacen became infected with it and had spent months encased in carbonite, while she had no choice but to return to Hapes and assume the throne as she had promised to do.

This time she wanted things to turn out differently. With Jacen fully recovered now, they had been given a second chance. Although their respective duties would always require them to spend some time apart, she would do what was necessary to keep that to a minimum. If he offered to accompany her to Hapes this time she would not turn him down.

While she was checking in with her mother, Jacen was going to find Anakin. She knew he was dreading the conversation but as an added incentive, had promised him they could continue what they had started earlier once they were both done with their respective tasks.

Moments after Tenal Ka punched in the code for the secure holo frequency, her mother's face appeared on screen. She wore a severe expression, causing any lingering thoughts of Jacen to disappear from her mind.

"My daughter, it is good to see you are unharmed. Though I wish I did not have to start off most conversations we have that way," Teneniel Djo added with an arched eyebrow.

"I will be returning to Hapes once I have a working transport available," Tenal Ka informed her, choosing not to comment on her mother's remark.

"How long will that be?"

"A few days at most."

"I see. What message would you like me to give the Royal Court regarding your absence?"

"Tell them I had an urgent matter to attend to and will be returning shortly."

"They will undoubtedly ask questions. You have been gone for sometime – very unusual for a Queen Mother."

Tenal Ka frowned. Her mother usually spoke her mind instead of dancing around a subject but that was exactly what she seemed to be doing then. "Mother, if there is something on your mind, please speak freely."

"As you wish, my daughter," she said with a slight incline of her head. "You willingly chose the life of a ruler. That means putting the well being of the Consortium above all else, especially in times of war. To be absent as long as you have does not reflect well on your leadership. The people need to believe you have their best interests at heart. To do that, you need to be here."

Tenal Ka stiffened. "If the matter were not urgent, I would have returned home sooner."

"Could you not have left the rescue of Jacen Solo and Tahiri Veila in the capable hands of the other Jedi?"

"It was necessary that I be a part of it."

"What happens the next time there is an urgent Jedi matter? Will you run off and leave your people again? I do not say these things to be harsh but these are the same questions you will face upon your return. You are my daughter, which is why I know what your heart truly wants, but you took an oath and you must abide by that."

"I will fulfill my duties as required. Anyone who questions that will be charged with treason," Tenal Ka responded matter-of-factly.

That seemed to settle the matter and her mother moved on to a new topic. "Now that we have addressed your return, there is a much more urgent matter we must discuss. My network of informants believes the Yuuzhan Vong have infiltrated certain aspects of our government, including the Royal Court."

Tenal Ka's eyebrows shot up at that news. "How certain are they?"

"Very. There is one senator in particular from Gallinore that they are following as we speak. There are several others we are watching as well."

Tenal Ka wanted to ask why she had not been informed sooner but she already knew the answer. She had been completely out of contact for days. She was very fortunate her mother was looking after things in her absence. Things that were her responsibility...

"I will message you again when we are ready to leave. In the meantime, please continue to watch over our people."

"As you command, Queen Mother."

[*[*[*[*[*[

With a satisfied nod, Anakin closed the outer panel that contained the Tyrant's navigation system wiring. For a ship that had been sitting around collecting dust for more than twenty years it was remarkably well preserved. Aside from the natural decay of some of the wiring that was bound to occur over time, there wasn't much Jaina, Zekk and himself had to do to make the ship space worthy again. They probably could have flown it as is in an emergency but they all felt safer ensuring everything was in top working order – particularly the weapons and shields. Another day or two of work and then they would be on their way.

He wished for a bit more time to tinker, not just with the Tyrant but with the other ships housed in the hanger bay deep insider Vader's fortress. In particular, the Tie-wing that had probably been his grandfather's personal fighter. However, he knew they needed to return to the fleet. Even more important, he needed to find Tahiri.

Gathering his tools, he marched out of the ship, finding Jacen standing at the bottom of the boarding ramp. His brother's presence wasn't a surprise. Anakin had sensed him standing there for some time, debating whether or not to come on board.

"Need a hand with anything?"

Anakin fixed him with a strange look. "You've never shown any interest in this stuff."

"I used to when we were kids."

"You would just end up playing with whatever pet you had at the time while Jaina and I helped dad with the Falcon."

"You're probably right about that," Jacen conceded.

"I appreciate the offer but I've got it covered."

"Well, if you don't want my help maybe we can talk instead."

"Look, Jacen, I'm kind of busy trying to get our ride out of here ready so Tenal Ka can get back to Hapes."

"Anakin, it's important."

Anakin sighed at hearing the pleading note in his brother's voice. "We don't need to do this. I get that it wasn't you doing the things that you did. I'm over it, okay?"

"Even if I did believe you, which I don't, you won't even look at me. Not that I blame you. Just because I was under control of the Yuuzhan Vong doesn't erase everything I did. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Sorry won't change what happened to Tahiri because of you," Anakin said, an edge to his voice. "I can probably forgive you for tricking Danni into giving me an untested serum for whatever reason the Vong wanted you to do that, but I can't look past what you did to Tahiri. The Tahiri I saw on the Drifter was like a completely different person – and that's all thanks to you. How could any part of you have thought it was okay to get her to keep developing her abilities when it drew on her Yuuzhan Vong side – made her addicted to pain? Nom Anor was controlling you but it wasn't all the time. I know how that thing they put in your head works. You're still free to make your own choices except when commands are issued. How come you couldn't see what you were doing was wrong? Why didn't you say something about the blackouts you were having? If you're all knowing about the Force how come you couldn't break free of his hold on you?"

Anakin finished venting and didn't feel one ounce better; if anything he felt worse. He hadn't meant to unload on Jacen like that, but his disappointment and anger with his brother had boiled over. He had expected more from him. His older brother was supposed to be powerful and yet he hadn't been able to fight off the commands being given to him from the modified slave seed implanted in his brain.

Rather than give Jacen a chance to respond to anything he just said, Anakin marched back inside the Tyrant.

[*[*[*[*

"That should be more than enough to get us to the Remnant," Zekk said as he finished refueling the ship that would take them all to where the Galactic Alliance fleet was stationed after they dropped Tenal Ka off at Hapes.

"Better to be safe than sorry," was Jaina's reply. "With our luck we'll end up running into the Peace Brigade or a Vong blockade."

"Thanks. That makes me feel loads better."

"I'm just being pragmatic. You used to like that about me. What?" Zekk was giving her an odd look for which the life of her she couldn't interpret.

"Nothing. You just seem almost in high spirits. I haven't seen you like this in awhile."

"It's no big deal," she said, turning away and pretending to inspect a mark on the hull so he wouldn't see the slight crimson color tinting her cheeks. They had spent every night together since coming to Bast Castle. It wasn't the first time they'd slept together but something seemed different now. For the time being, however, she didn't want to dissect what was happening between her and Zekk or over analyze it. It was what it was and they could figure it out as they went.

Quite unexpectedly, a warning klaxon blared throughout the hanger bay. She and Zekk exchanged worried looks before rushing over to a small computer station. Jaina tapped into the fortress' defense systems as Anakin had shown her. The readouts on the screen in front of her coupled with live visuals from the hundreds of holo cams strategically placed throughout the planet confirmed that there were a convoy of ships heading toward them.

"Those don't look like Vong ships," Zekk commented, looking over her shoulder.

"That's because they're not," Jaina responded, taking another look at the sensor readings. "The call signs they're giving out belong to the Galactic Alliance."

"Really?" Zekk said, sounding just as shocked as Jaina. "I thought this place wasn't that well known."

"It's not. That's one of the reasons I thought we'd be safe here. I'm surprised the Galactic Alliance would even think to come here. They can't possibly be looking for us."

"You'll have your chance to ask them very soon. They're just about to reach the main landing pad."

As the ships touched down one by one, Jaina paid close attention to one of the individual fighters with the group. It was a Claw craft. Though she had a feeling it was him she was still surprised to see Jagged Fel climb out of his fighter.

She and Zekk went to grab the others before heading outside to find out what had brought the Galactic Alliance convey to Bast Castle.