Title: Expectations
Rating: General Audience
Pairings/Characters: Frank/Laurel, Frank Delfino, Laurel Castillo
Spoilers: Through 5x01
A/N: I'm still working on my other fics but after Thursday's premiere ripped out my heart, I had to try and make it a little better and more hopeful. Hopefully, we'll still be seeing them interacting regularly on the show and getting closer.
Expectations
"Hey," Laurel says, tone light and surprised, as she walks into the house to find Frank talking to Oliver as Chris looks on from his carrier. It's not an unwelcome sight. "Wasn't expecting to see you."
"Yeah, had to ask Ollie about something, and figured it couldn't hurt to do it in person so that I could see my godson." He says the title with pride, a little subconscious puff of his chest, and she can't help but smile at his eager willingness to take on the role, despite what's happening between them—or rather, what's not.
"I'm glad you're here," she tells him quietly as the rest of the group comes in behind her.
Oliver immediately goes to greet Connor. And as soon as Michaela sees Christopher, she makes her way over and picks him up from his holder. "I've missed you. Yes, I have," she coos, walking the smiling baby over to the couch. "Come help auntie Michaela de-stress!"
Laurel watches them for a moment before shaking her head and turning back to Frank. She really is pleased to see him. She's been wanting to clear the air, and now is as good a time as any.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asks him softly, gesturing upstairs towards her room.
He seems hesitant but ultimately nods his assent. "Sure," he agrees before letting her lead the way in silence.
She's nervous but knows that they need to talk, now that they've both had some time to think after their last emotional conversation. They've talked in between but the topics have been confined mostly to Christopher and his baptism. She can see that he's hurt, even though he tries to hide it around her, be as accommodating as ever. She told him during that conversation that he should have wanted to ask something of her, and when he did, she denied him. It wasn't fair to him, but now that they've had some distance, she knows what she wants for her future. And she needs him to know, too.
Once they are in her room, she shuts the door and walks over to her bed, sitting on the end of it. But Frank stays standing with arms crossed, unwilling to get to close. He also stays silent, waiting for her lead this impromptu talk. But she really doesn't know where to start, so she falls back on common ground.
"Chris misses you," she tells him softly.
A small grin crosses his face—he lights up—and god, she loves how much he loves her son. "Yeah?" he confirms.
She nods, letting her own smile widen. "Yeah, he keeps looking around, especially at night. I know he's looking for you."
"Maybe I can come hang out with him more," he hedges.
"Yeah, that would be good," she tells him before they fall back into a silence he seems willing to let drag on.
After a moment, she takes a breath and pushes herself to finally just say it.
"I miss you too," she tells him before pausing, trying not to get emotional. This isn't easy for her, especially after everything that has happened. Her walls are higher than they've ever been, and despite everything he has done for her and her son, she doesn't know how to let him back in completely, how to be vulnerable, and trust that he's not going to leave her again, that she's not wrong to open up to him and love him.
But she continues on quickly before he can say anything, because if she doesn't do it now, she may never get the courage again. "And I'm so sorry, Frank. I didn't want to hurt you, and I don't want you to think I don't care about you, that I don't have feelings for you. I do. I'm just not ready for all of that yet. I need to focus on Chris. And," she lets out a forceful breath, all the stress she's feeling in that sound, "with this law clinic, I just have no time for it. I have to do well this year and in this clinic. I need the tuition, and I need to raise my GPA so that I can do well for my son, so that I can make sure he has a good life, and—"
"Laurel," Frank speaks up then as she starts spiraling, gently cutting her off as he comes to sit next to her with that ever-present understanding in his eyes. "You don't need to explain. I get it." And she can see that he does, that he's not just saying it, and suddenly it's a weight lifting off of her and she feels the relief flowing out of her. "I'm sorry, too," he continues. "I'm sorry I proposed. I was—I just didn't want you to leave me, and it felt like I didn't have anything left to lose, you know? That if I didn't put it out there right then, you'd never know how serious I was. But I'm sorry I put that on you. If you need to do this right now, if you need to be on your own, I'll support that. I'll support you."
"Everyone was making me feel selfish," she confides, looking over at him. "Oliver kept calling me mean, and to be honest, I was afraid to tell them how I really feel about you, so I get why they were saying it, but… They got me thinking and they weren't wrong. I was using you for sex because I can't do the rest of it right now, and that's not fair to you."
"You weren't selfish, Laurel," Frank calmly objects, comforting her when she doesn't really deserve it. "I knew what we were doing. I knew you weren't ready for more. I was fine with that arrangement."
She watches him for a few moments, wishing that she hadn't let the others cause her to doubt what she was doing, what Frank was expecting. But she thinks it ended up being the right decision, for now at least.
"Do you still have the ring?" she asks then, tentatively taking a step forward, testing the waters.
"Yeah," he says with a slightly furrowed brow, not quite sure where she's going with it.
She just nods, taking a moment to think—to question one more time if she can let him in like this—before she takes a chance.
"Don't get rid of it, okay?" she blurts out quickly but quietly.
He just looks at her a moment, and it feels like he's looking into her soul, like he knows her better than she knows herself. "Okay," he agrees, voice barely a whisper.
Another wave of relief rolls through her, and they share a smile, a long moment, before she looks down at her hands to break the tension between them, to remove the temptation.
"Michaela and I are being abstinent," she tells him with a soft laugh, changing the subject slightly back to safer territory.
He's amused. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, maybe it will help with school. Give me a clearer head and more time to study." She laughs softly.
He laughs before nodding. "Maybe I'll be abstinent, too."
She shakes her head. And as much as the idea of him with someone else makes her stomach churn, she says, honestly, "You don't have to do that."
"I'm not interested in sleeping around," he tells her instantly, unbothered by the idea of being celibate. She never thought that the man she met two years ago could ever voluntarily abstain from sex. The idea is as amusing as it is reassuring. "And maybe… maybe I could come over a little more, spend some time with little C," he asks again, looking for confirmation that he's wanted there.
"That would be good," she says softly before going further. "Maybe you and I can spend some time together when you do? I might not have a lot of free time but we could do more together than just have sex; I mean, even if I'm studying you could just come and spend time with Chris while I'm reading. We can just hang in the same space? I know it sounds silly."
"No, it doesn't," he says instantly, eagerly taking her up on the offer. "I'd like that, Laurel."
"Okay," she nods, "then we'll do that… when I can."
"Okay." He smiles at her. That hurt she had been seeing is disappearing, and something deeper is taking its place—happiness, maybe. They haven't had a lot of that in the last couple of years but she thinks things are looking up, for all of them.
"Don't get rid of the ring, Frank," she reaffirms suddenly. She's not ready but when he proposed, she was tempted. And she wants it, she thinks. One day.
"I won't," he promises. "I'll just wait, 'til its right."
They share a smile, and she leans in to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, just as they hear Chris start crying downstairs.
"We better get back down there," Laurel says, standing when he does to make their way downstairs.
Chris sees Frank first, and he stops crying almost instantly, the most adorable smile crossing his face. Frank happily walks over and takes him from Michaela.
"Hey, Little Man, I've missed you," he coos. And that's another thing she never thought she'd see tough-guy Frank Delfino doing.
Laurel comes up beside them, her focus on her son; but after a few moments, her attention turns to Frank and she smiles up at him as remains absorbed by Chris. He loves her son so much, just as much as he loves her, and she doesn't think she could have ever asked for anything more.
Maybe she's not so wrong to love him after all.
