May 2015
It didn't work out with Ray and he was surprisingly fine with it. When she left the job, there was no animosity nor was the breakup the reason she put in the two weeks notice. This was very obvious because she had resigned prior to the breakup, but yes, after the very clear signs that neither his heart nor hers were fully committed to a love between them.
"Where are you planning on working?" he had asked.
With a serene smile, she happily said, "I'm not sure".
"Is it raise time? Or are my projects becoming boring? Did the ATOM project throw you for a loop, I swear when it's done, you'll get it," and he was being half humorous half serious and she would miss that the most about him.
(She knew at this point, at the turning in of that impersonal generic later, that they were coming to an end. )
She chuckled and shook her head. "It's not you or the money. "
And somewhere in his head, Ray could hear her multiple reasons. 'This insane city that was turning predictable, Oliver Queen, this stunted love, arrows and tired avoidance of implications.'
There, when he realized he was not a factor in her leaving or staying with the company, was when he knew he never had her at all.
They were a quiet two weeks, a quiet breakup that left her a little more alone, but not inconsolable. Because she had been feeling the distance and strandedness for months now, and it was not too long after she laid down her letter of notice that she realized it wasn't meant just for Palmer Technologies. It was, it turned out to be, her notice to the city, her notice to the man she'd loved for going on more than a year now. Bones could only keep her at his side for so long.
(The ground had long moved under her, plates making sufficient room for two. But the room stayed at one.
And now there was a very specific vacancy. A space unfilled but formed to fit only one particular thing, and she tried flooding it away, filling it up with knick knacks and this person or that person, but the space stayed all the same. So she kept it beside herself, bearing the weight herself and this was how she became stronger. And after she moved all the bones around, moving on turned into the easy part of it all.)
"When you quit Palmer Tech, had you already decided to work for Dr. Wells?" Oliver had his hands dug in his pockets, his best poker face on.
"With Dr. Wells," she corrected him, "and no. I didn't have a plan when I quit, I just didn't want to work there anymore."
She sat sturdy at her desk in the foundry, Oliver looking down at her. This was a private conversation, the foundry all theirs for a few minutes before the space was taken up by everyone else. Oliver was the first person she wanted to tell.
"So this wasn't the plan, it wasn't your intention to leave us?"
Suddenly, this felt like an interrogation, like she had some crime to explain and confess to.
He had thought, she knew, that she was going to focus on Team Arrow fully, one-hundred percent of the time now. That's what her two weeks meant to him, a commitment, a foolish swell of hope that she would be his, in that small way again. Like the foundry wasn't already a tight space with Diggle, Roy, Oliver, Laurel, the occasional indecisive Thea, the random guest appearance from Lyla, and Felicity taking up the room.
"Actually, it wasn't the plan and then it was-"
"Felicity," he stepped forward, and he took a hand out of his pocket to bring it to his forehead, covering his eyes.
Felicity shook her head. "I wasn't sure, but I had been thinking about it, for more than a while. It was just an idea, but every time I've worked with Dr. Wells, the idea's gotten bigger. And whenever I'm at STAR labs, Oliver it's...it's different and exciting."
"It's different because you're there for a moment, away from home. It's like when you go on vacation, you nurse the idea of moving, but it's not home. Plus, there's still something about that guy I don't like."
"Don't belittle this, Oliver. It's not some little adrenaline rush. It's a place where I get to help all kinds of people, people whose lives have been turned upside down, and in the process, we get to learn so many amazing things. I get to do that full time, and I don't need a cover job. I can say tell people, 'hey, I work at STAR Labs,' loud and proud. Not that what I'm looking for is vindication or a pat on the back, I just would like to focus on one whole thing, and this is good for me."
He wasn't happy about it, but he couldn't argue against what she believed was best for her, so he wouldn't try to dissuade her further.
Besides, they had been cracking under each other for the past year, a load of 'if onlys' and desires creasing their spines. He wanted her close always, and it was for that selfish reason alone that on her last day, he wished her luck without a tone of discord.
;;
June 2015
And when everyone but him bid her farewell at the train station - he had said his best of luck to her at the Foundry, suited up as the Arrow, rushing off to track someone down on his own - she knew he had made it so he didn't have to say goodbye at the base that would take her away from him. It was a final gift to himself and her that she appreciated, a refusal to say goodbye, a cut of hope that she was leaving but not staying over there forever.
("If this girl Chloe you've left us with isn't an exact replica in terms of skills and personality, I'm going to hunt you down and drag you back myself," said Laurel, a smirk on her face, although Felicity sensed she was pretty serious.
"Well, color me scared," Felicity laughed nervously. She hugged Laurel, whispering in her ear, "Be careful out there, and keep an eye on Oliver. He won't admit it, but you're getting better at this vigilante thing than him." Laurel nodded, stifling a chuckle and tears.
Diggle was completely unmade, throat clogged up, he had to mutter his words quickly. "We'll still be here when you're ready." Felicity kissed his cheek and nodded, though she didn't know to what.
Roy hugged for a few quick seconds, saying with a playful smile, "I'll be dropping by," he promised.
"Not necessary, but definitely appreciated," she replied.
Thea stood close to her, hesitant on a hug, but she did want to say something, only for her to hear. "He needs you, he's going to lose himself more and more the longer you're away."
Thea had been a thorny issue for months now, but everyone could agree that she was very observative.
"He's got a big team, now. And Laurel and Diggle know to keep him grounded. He'll survive."
It took a lot for Felicity to say that concisely, but it was the last bit of Team Arrow she had in her.)
Felicity waved goodbye, hopped on the train to Central City, where she would stay for three years and four months.
;;
August 2015
It didn't take long for Roy to keep his promise, just two months. It was an innocuous visit, a small desire for him to get away from Starling for a bit. He had not been the same since he found out he had, in part, been responsible for an innocent's death. (It had been close to two years since it happened, but people like Roy don't get over things like that, ever.)
"This is a nice apartment," Roy said, his eyes roaming the spacious living room.
"I know!" Felicity squealed. "Well, it's only two rooms and a bathroom and a half, but it's so much better than my old place."
"Dr. Wells must pay nice."
Felicity didn't verbalize anything, only gave a small nod that Roy did not see.
They made small talk, Felicity set him up in her small bedroom, and she took him to the lab to have dinner with her new co-workers. It was a very quick dinner, because not soon after, Roy and Barry were rushing off after the latest meta-human causing trouble in the city. This did not surprise Felicity, that she couldn't even get a visitor without the city needing her immediate attention.
It was frustrating at times, but she knew what she signed up for. Hell, she had signed a new contract with stranger risks. The pay off, saving people and second or third chances, they were worth it.
And Roy had fit in extremely well. She gathered that's why he had invited himself to Central City. She noted that the first time she worked with Barry and his people, his quiet temper had slid in quite well with Barry's non-linear awkwardness. The perfect unevenness that was the opposite tone Roy had with Oliver-and Felicity understood why sometimes it was necessary to step outside of that.
Everyone made it out safe and sound, even baddie of the week, and for once, it only took a few hours. Once it was all done, Roy and Felicity trekked it back to her apartment, where Felicity fussed over the scratch on his neck until he snapped her hand away enough times for her to give up.
"Have you always been this fussy about surface wounds?" Roy mocked her.
Felicity gaped at him, then threw a pillow at his head. The pillow muffled a surprised whimper.
"Sorry!" Felicity yelped.
Roy pushed the pillow aside and shrugged, "It's-no, I probably deserved that."
The truth was, she was overcompensating. It was nothing more than a scratch, she had seen much, much worse done to her team-former team.
"How is everything in Starling?" she asked quietly. She felt a quiet hum in the room, the question she had since the first full day she was gone from her home finally out there, all the while her number one question still unspoken.
Roy didn't feel the same zip of air settling below their feet. He took a sip of the hot cocoa she made, and nodded clumsily. "Good," he said after swallowing, "average, I guess, for Starling."
He smiled tightly at her, and when all he saw was a vacant, comprehensive nod at her end, he cocked his head, perplexed.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
He sucked in his cheek, the smaller hollow in his mouth allowing his brain to process what she really wanted to know.
"We're fine, too. Diggle and Lyla and baby Sara are amazing, Laurel disappeared for a few days a couple of weeks ago, like she tends to do. Go off on her solo missions, kick ass, come back to reshape us. That girl you got us, Chloe, is amazing. She knows her stuff."
He looked over at her, and quickly corrected himself, "not as well as you, of course."
"Clearly," Felicity chuckled.
"And Oliver's doing fine. I promise."
Felicity mustered a small smile, "Good."
"And how are things on your end? They being good to you?"
"They're great. Caitlin and Cisco are amazing, so smart and they-well, it's nice to not have to translate my babbling."
"We never thought you babbled," Roy reassured her. Felicity sighed, saying, "thanks."
They left it at that, with Roy not saying that Oliver was moodier than usual and that Diggle was having trouble adjusting to Chloe's unique definition of teamwork. With Felicity not mentioning that she was closing in on the case that brought her into Central City to begin with.
Yes, Felicity Smoak had an ulterior motive. STAR Labs was a fantastic opportunity, and yes she wanted a change of pace, and yes she wanted to be away from Oliver's excuses, but the reason she considered the option of moving at all was because she had one day, three months before moving, decided to take up Oliver's suspicion of Dr. Wells seriously.
She had known Dr. Wells for nine months at that point, and she admired his progress as an innovator greatly, so she felt a little guilty about teaming up with Iris West to have him sort of, just curiously, investigating him.
Yep, she had roped in Iris as well. She was the perfect person to keep an eye out for odd activity from Barry's mentor, what with her interest in reporting, quick wit, and proximity to the subject without even being too much on his radar.
("Is this an executive order from the Arrow?" she asked when they met in person the first week of Felicity's move.
Iris had heard it through the grapevine that Felicity worked for the Arrow, and although she occasionally asked about his real identity, for the most part she left it alone.
"No, this is more my thing?"
"Ooh, we starting our own crime division? You do the hacking, I do the street reporting, let's see, Eddie can be the unsuspecting inside source, I'm thinking we just need to round out the team, maybe recruit someone to be the muscle? Who am I kidding, I can do that too."
Felicity laughed.
"I'm serious," Iris said all too earnestly.
"I just found a few things on him that were...strange. And I know he's a friend to Barry and you probably don't want to get in the middle of that-"
"Felicity," Iris stopped her, grabbing her hands, "I trust you. You say the guy's sketchy, he's sketchy, and I don't want Barry getting into any trouble. I am the muscle in the family after all."
Felicity pushed down a grin. "Not your dad?"
In a hushed tone she said, "He's getting old."
After a beat, Iris pulled back, and in a serious voice said, "So does the Arrow even know you're doing this out here?"
Felicity shook her head, motioning 'no'. "I felt this needed a discreet touch, and his methods are very effective, but this Dr. Wells thing may affect another 'vigilante' altogether."
Iris raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "You mean the Flash?"
"That's what I'm hoping we'll find out.")
;;
late October 2015
[21:20] : Oliver. Hi.
[21:23] oliverjqueen : Hey. How are you?
[21:24] : Great. You? How's Dig? THE BABY? This e-mail thing is weird. Who does that anymore? Me apparently.
[21:24] oliverjqueen : They're all great. Sara's a runner. She's not allowed in the Foundry anymore. You're welcome to call or text me.
[21:26] : I heard. She sounds amazing. And no, I like this. It's like we're back at QC and I'm shooting you a dozen e-mails, but this time you're actually responding.
[21:31] oliverjqueen : In the days before the island, we had this IM thing.
[21:31] : Custom instant messenger coming up. Close any windows on your screen you don't want me to see.
/
[21:56] S: HI!
IMTHEQUEEN: This is a very bright green and red. Is this a Christmas theme?
[21:57] IMTHEQUEEN: What is this screename?
IMTHEQUEEN: Why are the star lab assistants asking to be my friends already?
S: You can change your name in the settings. IMO the name is not wrong...but yeah, should probably change it.
[21:58] S: And I invited everyone on our teams to be part of our very own IM system.
[22:01] S: Oliver?
[22:03] Q: IMO? Who exactly and can they see this conversation?
S: In my opinion, and no acronyms, duly noted.
[22:04] S: Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Laurel, Roy, Diggle, Lyla, and Chloe. And nope, this is a private conversation. Just sent Barry a message to tutor you.
Q: Dammit he's here.
[22:05] S: I'm erasing this entire conversation off the face of the planet because I named names. Goodnight!
Q: Fel-
She laughed while she erased the conversation, then squinted her eyes to read Cisco, Barry's and Caitlin's screen names. Caitlin's was a simple 'Sno', and Cisco's was a 'C' (she imagined he wanted a million less innocuous ones but reason won out) but Barry liked having his fun far more.
[22:09] S: I will change your screename if you don't.
IAMBARRYFAST: We're the only ones with access to this.
[22:10] S: Sure, let's take chances.
MRALLENNOTMRQUEEN: ?
S: I am going to screenshot this and send it to Mr. Queen himself.
F: You win.
Barry locked his phone and shoved it in his pockets.
"Was that her?" Oliver asked.
"Yep," he answered.
"How is she doing?"
Oliver sat at a computer in the Foundry, just a couple of stations over from Chloe who was working on something furiously at her computer.
"You could ask her."
"Just answer the question, Barry."
Barry sighed. The man was always so serious.
"She's great. She's basically Iris' best friend now, and all they ever do is talk in hushed tones and freeze up whenever I'm around, but that's probably because things between me and Iris are eternally weird now."
Oliver stared at him. "Sorry," Barry breathed, "she really is doing amazing. It feels like she's in charge sometimes, even. Seriously, I think our team was just waiting for her to come around."
Oliver turned his back to Barry at that. "So it's that easy," and he clarified, "Felicity's messaging program, pretty standard."
"Uh, yeah," Barry nodded though Oliver wasn't looking at him, "like any other IM thing, just extra secure and only accessible to us."
Oliver had Barry run off seconds after that, he was perfectly capable of running the program on his own.
One thing Oliver could appreciate about Chloe was that she knew when not to speak up. But when she did speak up, although necessary, sometimes it was too much for someone as stubborn as he.
Over her shoulder, she shouted, "Just pick up the phone. E-mails and messages won't hold you up forever."
He grumbled, stood up, and announced, "I'm going home."
She smiled at him, her short blond hair still strange for him to see instead of the swinging ponytail.
"Have a goodnight Mr. Queen."
;;
November 2015
Iris had a good steady temper, but she had no patience for bullshit. So when it became unnecessary for her to gather evidence because the truth was right there, staring at her, she couldn't not confront it. She had put two and two together.
Felicity kept ringing her, but she didn't answer. She had to call Barry in, and he was not going to be happy. She rang him.
"Hey Felicity."
"It's Dr. Wells," she spit out, she in the parking lot of STAR Labs, Caitlin missing and Cisco knocked out in his car. "He's the Reverse Flash. Iris found out and she went to confront him in his apartment, and I think Caitlin went with her-"
Barry was suited up, in front of her.
"They're not at his apartment."
Felicity shook, cold and frightened all at once.
"There's another set of hallways in the labs not in the blueprints. I found them a few weeks ago, but we needed more information but Iris, Iris figured it out, I don't know-"
He picked her up, and ran them to her office, where she showed him the schematics she found in Dr. Wells computer. Barry wanted to know everything about her investigation, but he would do it later.
He took her with him to the secret passageway where she hacked into the security frame, and then rushed off without her. She whipped out her phone, and dialed the Foundry.
"Chloe."
"Chloe, it's Felicity."
"Clearly."
"I need-Barry's up against," she stopped herself. This was Barry's fight. Maybe he needed backup, but that was it. "If Diggle or Laurel is around, tell them I might need them tonight."
Diggle could get a jet from Lyla and Laurel could practically fly, plus they were the more reasonable ones on the team. They would listen to her if she asked them to not jump right away.
"Diggle's here, he's on his way. Roy's with him."
"Thank you."
They hung up, and Felicity gulped hard. She had her own idea on how to help.
She jogged to Dr. Wells official station, uploaded all his data to an external drive, and destroyed his station. She heard a commotion and ran in the direction of the noise.
"Felicity!" It was Caitlin, who sounded more urgent than wounded, thankfully-hopefully.
Felicity reached her, and gasped when she saw a gash across her forehead.
Felicity reached out to her head, then pulled Caitlin in for a hug.
"Felicity, Felicity," Caitlin sounded, she realized, shocked not urgent.
Felicity pulled back. "Dig and Roy are coming, is Iris behind you, where's Barry?"
"I-I...they disappeared. Just, I didn't see them go in any direction, Dr. Wells had Iris, and Barry charged at him, and they were just gone."
Felicity sat Caitlin down, grabbed the nearest towel, pressed it to her forehead, and ran to the door she had opened for Barry earlier.
She ran down a small hall until she reached a cold room where an empty wheelchair stood. She yelled Barry's and Iris' name, she banged on the walls and even found another hallway, and she dialed both their phones, but there was never an answer.
She spun herself back to the main labs where Diggle was carrying Caitlin to a table and Roy was pacing frantically.
He spotted her and rushed over.
Caitlin was crying and he didn't know what to do, couldn't even say anything. Diggle shouted, "let's get her to the hospital." He turned his head and saw Felicity. "You okay?" he yelled.
She nodded, managed to say, "Yes."
She closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Barry Allen collapse in front of her, and Iris West yell "Barry!" as she kneeled beside him.
/
Felicity sat outside the hospital room, counting the minutes. He usually recovered in minutes. It'd been two hours.
She heard very deliberate steps and her heart stopped. Oliver had called her on the way to the hospital, asking her if she was okay. He hadn't chastised her yet.
She looked up and sure enough there was Oliver Queen. He sat beside her, and neither spoke immediately.
Felicity bit her lip and finally looked over at him. "I was investigating him just weeks before I moved over here. When I got here, I asked Iris for help. She figured she could trust me, and so she did. For months, there was nothing, just this suspicion that he was behind some weird disappearances. But then Iris found alias after alias of Dr. Wells, leading all the way back to the Reverse Flash's first known appearance. At that point, it was just about catching him in the act."
"Did she? Catch him in the act? Is that how this happened tonight?"
Oliver finally looked back at her. She had stopped crying a couple of hours ago, but her face was still flushed.
"I'm not totally clear yet. She's in there with Barry," she pointed at the room. "Something happened because she's not really willing to talk. Even Joe can't get at her right now. I think they're just focusing on Barry right now."
She looked down, her hands fiddling in her lap.
Oliver felt his throat unhinge, but he snapped it back. He was angry but he was also grateful to, one, see Felicity safe, and two, see Felicity at all. He'd seen her a few months back when he dropped by with Laurel to help on a case, but it'd been brief and absolutely professional. All straightened backs and absolute words.
He placed a hand over hers, and gently pressed them. "I wish you had let me help, that you told me, that you and Iris hadn't gone rogue mission on this. But you've kept them alive and they know who their enemy is now, so…"
Felicity let him keep his hand there, even reaching one hand over it. "I knew it was going to hurt you when you found it, so you can get mad at me Oliver. But it's something I felt I could handle."
"Was this why you left us, too?"
Felicity pulled her hands away. "It was amongst my other valid reasons."
It stung him, that she meant that, and that she was clearly done talking about it.
He stood up and cleared his throat. "I'm going to see him."
Felicity avoided his gaze and he stepped in.
Surprisingly, Iris stepped out a moment after he went in.
"Iris," Felicity stared in wonderment at her. She stood up, and enveloped Iris in a deep hug. She felt her friend shake, heard her cry, felt her crying on her shoulder, her sweater padding her.
"I'm sorry," whispered Iris.
"Don't be."
They stood hugging for several minutes, until Iris wiped at her eyes, forcing herself to stop crying.
"I'm going to tell you," she said resolutely.
"You don't have to. It's been a long day."
"No, Felicity, I have to tell someone the things I've seen today."
She pulled back from Felicity's arms, and had her sit beside her.
She kept a hand on Felicity, and started.
"I found out who the Flash was, that it was Barry. It was that day I needed someone to pick up my TV from Eddie's apartment, it was the last thing left, and you weren't answering."
"Still sorry about that," Felicity interjected. Iris waved it off.
"My dad was busy, said he had a hostage situation downtown, which was fine. I was going to go, maybe get a neighbor to help. So I get there, and Barry's walking down the steps, carrying the TV with my former upstairs neighbor. He loads it in my dad's truck, and I ask him how he knew I needed help. He said you'd told him, that you were going to be tied up and he didn't mind. So he leaves, and I'm thanking my old neighbor, trying to say goodbye, when he says Barry did most of the heavy lifting. Barry had the tv at the steps just seconds after he'd ask him for help. It was such a small comment, but I guess when the truth is right there, it just takes something small."
Iris paused. "I mean, he's always been pretty scrawny, not the strongest guy, and he's clumsy. But he had the tv on the steps in seconds. My 72 inch TV. And Barry is friends with Dr. Wells, who is probably the Reverse Flash, who has it out for the Flash, who is the Flash because of Dr. Wells. There was no question, Felicity."
Then she let go of Felicity's hands. "And then I was angry. Barry was lying to me, all this time. Even you lied to me, but iIt was his secret to tell, not yours. I calmed myself down. I was going to yell at Barry when I wasn't so pissed off at everything else, not so disoriented from my breakup with Eddie. Just be only mad at Barry. But I didn't last long, just a few days. I was going to go straight after my shift, and I had the luck of Caitlin stopping by for coffee at the close of my shift, so I invited her along. I only told her I had to pick something up from my old place-she didn't know where I used to live-and to wait outside. I left you a voicemail on my way up to Dr. Wells apartment. Felicity, I-"
She stopped. Then continued.
"I was going to knock him out when he wasn't looking, call Caitlin up, and...it was foolish, I knew even then. But he hurt Barry in so many ways. Anyway, he was too fast, I was too slow. I told him what I knew, he noticed Caitlin waiting outside. He picked me up, and I fainted at the speed, but suddenly we were in some cave thing. I hear Caitlin's voice, and she told me she saw someone speed by her, and she ran up the stairs but I wasn't there. She called Cisco, but no reply. She hailed a cab, tracked me to the lab-did you know they planted me with a tracking device?"
"What-no," Felicity answered, she wasn't surprised though. Caitlin liked to keep track of everyone who knew Barry or the Flash.
"She got there, saw that Cisco had been knocked unconscious on his way out of the labs she guessed, and followed my trail until it died out at some hidden wall, she said. Dr. Wells said we were in the way, we were ending things for the Flash before they'd begun. Finally, Barry got there. Wells picked me back up, Barry came at him, and we left."
"You left?"
Iris nodded, tears brimming again. "I was confused. Still confused. It was a dark, cold road. Raining. Barry looked as disoriented as me. I pulled him to the side of the road, yelled where are we...Anyway, it took us a bit to find our way off the road, find a roof. We wandered around until we saw a sign, said we were entering Central City. My phone was wet and useless. Barry tried bringing us back to the lab, but every time we rushed into the city, there was like this barrier. Wherever we tried to go through, we ended back on that long cold road. He said the moon kept going back to the same position, the same cars kept passing by. It felt like forever, but he did some sort of equation, picked me up, ran us at a time he mapped out at an angle or something... and we were back."
Felicity gaped at her. She and Barry had been stuck in some time loop. It must have thrown Barry's abilities. She was surprised they'd made it back.
"And Dr. Wells?"
"We didn't see him."
/
Later, nine hours after Iris' and Barry's return, after Barry finally awoke, he would tell his team that based on a missing road sign, they must have traveled back at least seven years. That Dr. Wells had probably attempted to take them somewhere and sometime specific but Barry had grabbed Iris from his clutch and pushed him enough to throw off his trajectory. Dr. Wells was probably stuck in some time loop himself, but nothing was certain.
Dr. Wells and the Reverse Flash wouldn't be heard of again for some time.
;;
December 2015
Ambition, she learned, was the sin of the year. Ambition led her to Central City, ambition drove Dr. Wells to insane lengths, ambition consumed Ray. By the end of the year, Felicity was glad to have been away from the rise and fall of a man she could have loved. There were sympathies offered, but she had no need for them. She decided, her ambition had been of the good kind, and she was not at fault for the way it drew out the evils of men.
Oliver didn't boast or pluck at wounds when he and his team rounded out the damage, and he gave Ray a proper burial, wishing he'd been able to save him. This could have been Oliver's ambition, could have been him if he hadn't taken a step back to look at the scope of his actions. But Oliver was better than he gave himself credit for, and Felicity knew it never could have been him, dead maybe another way, but not this way.
But that was another team, now. She was part of another. The year was closing down, and she was determined to move ahead, not trace back regrets.
;;;
01 January 2016
Felicity rang in the New Year with her new team. Barry gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Iris hugged her father, faced away from Barry. Barry purposely kept his eyes on the streamers falling down on them. Cisco swirled Caitlin and they laughed.
Felicity caught Barry's gaze and caught his hand. This could be easy. They were celebrating in Joe's home, despite the fact that Barry and Iris could never speak more than a few terse words. (He was angry, she was angry, Joe tried his best to keep them, his family, at a sort of middle.)
Barry kept an easy eye on her, and she saw him gulp. He was already feeling guilty over something he didn't have.
Her phone beeped, a text message for once. She looked at the lit up screen, her hand slipped from Barry's, she smiled.
Oliver: Happy new year.
She was quick to reply, Happy New Year! :D
;;
March 2016
They had closed STAR Labs for a couple of months following the incident, but Caitlin had been antsy about going back to her proper work. They had been working out of Barry's place and it was horrible. Sometimes there would be a makeshift office at Iris' old job, other times it was Felicity's living room. It never worked well.
Until one day Caitlin threw up her papers, yelled out, "My family has money! I've had access to my trust fund for nearly four years!"
Felicity, Barry, and Cisco stared up at her. They didn't know where this was going.
"I'll just," and she pointed a finger at Felicity, "I'll set up the funds under a private research sector that you're going to invent right now, have it buy out STAR Labs and Cisco will be the sole benefactor and my name will disappear from any documents so my family doesn't get any satisfaction from knowing I buckled."
She turned on her heel then suddenly turned back. "Felicity, you'll be our director. You basically threw out the last one."
"I wouldn't call him a director," Felicity mumbled.
Caitlin humphed and Felicity drew into her seat. Caitlin threw up her hands and made her way to the door.
(When it was settled, Caitlin only made one rule-no one mention where the funds came from. Felicity made another rule that if she was going to be in charge of the research facility, they keep the name STAR Labs. She was a sucker for sentimentality.)
By mid Spring, Felicity was chasing after numbers, chastising Cisco everyday for every new insane idea of a weapon he had, and sending Barry a million messages about keeping a lower profile. Not once in her life did she grow up thinking she'd be both an accountant and a babysitter to ridiculously smart scientists and (practically) raising a superhero.
;;
April 2016
[14:18] Q: Hey.
[14:29] S: Well hello stranger.
Q: Sorry, I've been busy.
[14:30] S: No worries. Glad to hear from you outside of work.
S: This is outside of work, right? Do not tell me you have me in a private conversation to discuss a case.
[14:31] Q: I wouldn't dare.
S: Good. So how it goes? Is Roy still dating that crazy bike chick?
[14:32] Q: Just because she likes to go on the road with her motorcycle doesn't make her crazy.
S: Hey, he's crazy too. Always breaking up, making up in the same week.
Q: Point taken. And yes. Anyway, how's your team doing?
S: My team. Ah. Hold on, I like the sound of that. MY TEAM.
[14:33] Q: You should be proud. I know I am.
[14:34] S: Of course I'm proud, how many MIT grads are in charge of their very own vigilantes? Living the dream, I tell you.
Q: I knew being the director of STAR Labs was going to go to your head. Felicity Smoak has an ego.
[14:35] S: Learned from the best. ;)
[14:36] Q: Chloe is going off on the comms about something, gotta go. I'll keep in touch.
S: Saving that promise. Be safe.
;;
June 2016
"I always found this time of year so weird, middles are so odd," Iris mused.
They sat at her dining table, in the home she shared with her father.
"Me too," Felicity agreed. Sometimes, Felicity just studied her best friend. She was a beautiful and pensive girl who weighed a thousand thoughts at once. A lot more since that past December. She and Barry had finally bypassed angry, but now stood on awkward ends where they had said sorry but neither could really grasp what had passed. Barry had once said most of it to Iris, told her the way he felt, how long he'd felt it. That had been a fixing of her reality already. Then there was the other truth, the one he hadn't said and she had found out for herself. Another jilt to her world. And Barry felt a lack of loyalty on her end. She had forsaken the Flash some time ago, and when she wrote articles about him, it was always fact, not perspective-it hurt his ego but he knew it was her job. Then those days when he had to reassess his beginnings as the Flash, even his childhood, she wasn't there those days. She holed herself away for six months in Metropolis at a newspaper internship. They missed each other but they didn't know how to be near each without static filling up space.
"I just want to thank you again for leaving me here for six months. It's been so great not having someone to talk to around."
"You had Caitlin and Cisco and my dad," Iris ticked off on her fingers.
"Joe is great. He has given me better advice and food than any other man in my life, bar none, seriously, I might adopt him."
"Hands off," Iris threatened.
Felicity threw her hands up in defeat. "Caitlin and I did do some bonding. Some. I love her. She's just very work oriented."
"Which must be great given your boss status."
"I am no boss," Felicity amended, "but it is great. Just not much fun to do with it when work is over for me."
Iris nodded, and flipped open the laptop she had sitting in front of her.
Felicity gasped. "Are you working?"
"I do have a deadline for a brand new job. Can't be slacking off." Iris cracked her fingers, but when her hands landed on the keyboard, she sat back.
"How do you do it Felicity?" Iris said so low Felicity almost didn't hear her.
"Do what?"
Iris turned to her. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes soft but pointed at her.
"Stay away from the best guy you've ever known?"
It was a question everyone, she knew, avoided asking her. Maybe not in that specific way, but she knew people wondered why and how she kept away from someone she had wanted. But everyone had been good and no one had brought it up, except Iris right then. Felicity knew though that this one time someone finally asked her, it had little to do with her.
Felicity tucked in a smile and looked down at the table.
"I focus on the things that do me good, like ice cream, going undercover as a high society brat when the mission calls for it, working a 24 hour seven day a week job with maximum payoff but no sleep, having the best friend a girl could ask for."
Iris and Felicity laughed.
"And occasionally dating a senator?"
"That was once!" Felicity defended herself, "And he was only morally ambiguous in the end."
Iris laughed again.
.
September 2016
It had been over a year since she had been in Starling. Her eyes stung and she blinked furiously. Thankfully Barry didn't notice.
"Yeah, we're taking the train back," Felicity griped at Barry once she was composed. He'd convinced her to run them over, and she had agreed. That was her fault.
"If you insist," he said. He zipped past her and back to bring the luggage they'd packed. They stood right outside the Verdant, the day bright for the fall, but the streets empty so they needn't worry too much about being seen.
Felicity grabbed her packed bag and let herself into the building, Barry behind her
They were there for three days, as backup to Laurel who was in charge while Roy and Oliver were out of the city, chasing after someone, and they had taken Chloe with them. Diggle had stayed behind as the backup Arrow, and no one had asked Barry to come by and keep watch but toddler Sara was having a bout of sickness so Diggle was rightfully distracted, and besides, Central City was having a nice month of tranquility. And if anything happened, Barry could easily be there in a...really, you know already.
Felicity took to her old station, but there were a lot of new programs and procedures to follow.
("It's fine, it's fine. I got this. The old system was A+, but this is fine," she muttered to herself. The new system was more than fine, she recognized, she was just a little territorial.)
Laurel handled each night beautifully, and she called in backup right away when she needed it as opposed to last minute. And she didn't blow up when things didn't go exactly to plan-she grumbled, sure, but she would do this breathing exercise thing and then smile. She should be teaching Oliver at this point. Barry was only called in a couple of times, and Felicity was more on standby, and Felicity knew this wasn't her team anymore.
She had let them go and they had survived.
On the last night, Laurel turned in a chair several times, the way kids do, spinning. She whistled over at Felicity, who perked up and rolled herself over to Laurel.
"Look at Diggle," she giggled, pointed at the screen that caught Diggle in the Arrow outfit running past a security camera.
"I vote we replace Oliver for a year or so, let Diggle have his moments of glory, finally send Oliver to a spa," Felicity said.
"I am with you," Laurel smiled.
"Sometimes he's better you know," Laurel said. "I'll catch him laughing or smiling. I think he's getting better at it."
"Yeah, I think it's just very gradual. Every year he's a little nicer to himself."
Laurel tilted her head at Felicity. "That's an interesting way of putting it."
Laurel was, Felicity determined, at heart always an investigator, heart of a cop underneath it all. The good kind, still intimidating though.
"I think he tried to strip himself of the good things in his life in the name of the way he was, the way his family way. Like some ill treatment when he deserves lives just as much as we do."
"I get it, though," Laurel said, "All the shit that happens around here, the things we've screwed up. We gotta pay, and I'm sure someday we won't owe so much, but how do we know when those days are up?"
Laurel breathed heavily. Felicity ran over the situation at hand in her head. Two vigilantes with a similar state of mind working together in the same city that's wrecked them over and over again. Something about that could turn them inside out, maybe even their team.
"Felicity?" Laurel called her back.
"Hmm?" she looked up.
"You don't have to worry so much about us. We were a little shakey when you took off, but Chloe stuck us together real quick. She had no time for transition periods, and I don't know where you found her, but I'm glad you did. Think about it. Where would The Flash and his two people be if you hadn't looked out for them? Maybe they would have figured something out, maybe someone else would have found them and helped them, but instead it was you. And now you have your own little company, and there are meta-humans out there looking for you, for the one person in Central City who has the capacity and means to help them."
Felicity smiled at the woman before her. Here Laurel was marveling at Chloe and at her, Felicity Smoak, but it was Laurel who-despite her hardened ways-was keeping the team on this end at bay.
"Someday I'll get to tell some poor kids with nowhere to run how THE Black Canary gave me a pep talk," Felicity grinned.
"That's it, you're banned from the Foundry!" Laurel proclaimed, emptily.
;;
September 2016
[02:02] Q: So you're banned from our little cave?
[02:03] S: Your little cave? What have you done to the real Q?
Q: I may have taken something.
S: Well it's 2am, so I am not surprised. And it was several somethings, no lying allowed here.
[02:04] S: Public?!
Q: Wrong button.
Sno: I am enjoying this very much already.
DIG: So glad Sara woke me up just now.
[02:05] Sno: Dig! How are you.
DIG: Good! You?
S: This is my goodnight song.
[02:06] C: Come on, this is just getting started! We never get the man himself on these chats.
Q: Is that me? I am the man?
F: Thanks for the invite everyone, really.
S: There was no invite. But that is okay I think.
Q: Fel-wait, no names, right?
[02:07] C: Nah, who cares! Who's reading this really, just don't mention, you know…
L: That we're creatures of the night?
C: OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU.
[02:08] F: My love, it's been too long.
L: You are literally right next to me. Felicity, your boys have been drinking.
[02:09] S: Who let them be together this time of the night, really?
R: My bad. Bar and I were hanging, I might have agreed to pay Oliver and Laurel a visit
at the Foundry.
DIG: It's officially over.
Sno: This is my fault.
F: CAITLIN YOU ARE THE BEST YOU MAKE THE BEST ALCOHOL.
[02:10] Q: I might have tried it.
S: How the hell are you functioning.
Sno: WHERE ARE YOU, THAT IS NOT SAFE.
F: It was less than a teaspoon, he's fineeeeeeeeeeee.
L: So far.
C: Will you marry me?
[02:11] F: Already asked.
L: I admire you girls so much, really.
R: He's falling.
S: I'm...crying?
[02:12] Lyl: I was going to kill my husband for waking me up for this, but no, this is superb.
S: LYLA. LYLA. LYLA. Can I send you Barry for a week?
Lyl: My dear Felicity. No. Everyone, go to sleep.
[02:13] Sno: I'm honestly worried for Oliver. Barry, can you run?
Sno: Oh God that sounds ridiculous.
R: He's up..he's down. He wants me to say…
R: ...I've had the time of my life? I don't know what's happening.
[02:14] F: He's singing! Caitlin's here!
L: He always swore he hated that movie, ahahaha
L: I've had the time of my lifeee
Lyl: No, I never felt this way before, yes I swear..babe!
DIG: It's the truth and I owe it all to you
[02:15] C: CAUSE I'VE HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
S: And I've searched through every open door.
F: Oh God it's wearing off, are you guys synchronizing this?
Lyl: Til I found the truth!
L: And I owe it all to you!
[02:16] R: Nope. Goodnight everyone.
Lyl: For once, he's right.
DIG: Let's do this again sometime, at a holier hour.
C: BOO. Okay. I'll miss you the most Laurel.
L: Blame the song, I'll miss you too.
C: okay, I'm dead. Bye.
[02:17] S: How is he?
F: Caitlin said he's fine, we just need to put an IV in him to keep him hydrated.
S: Okay. Goodnight.
And that was when she decided to get a second phone, one for business, one personal, so she could at least shut off the personal line at night.
;;
2016 November
"Once in awhile, I'll think there's something going on with you and Barry, and I don't mind it."
"Papa Joe, I thought you had bigger dreams for your boy."
"You're a big dream, Felicity. Sure, it would have been quite a dream for Iris to want be with someone as great as Barry, for Barry to come full circle. But dreams change, and you can't force the heart."
"Don't I know it."
Thanksgiving had just ended, and Iris was digging out the Christmas decorations from the garage. Barry was in there with her. Things had finally relaxed a little between them, and they were easy smiles and good-natured family dinners again.
(Barry removed himself to the way things used to be before everything, for the sake of things. And Iris was trying to coax him out of it, earning his trust, encouraging him to let her be a part of his team. He wasn't letting her, so the truce and in between it was.)
"It would be easy, me and him. I know this life all too well at this point, and he's just the sort of guy I never thought was real. You know how on those tv shows they make those ridiculously cute but smart and awkward and totally affected by emotions sort of guys?"
Joe cocked an eye at her. "No."
"Well, what I'm saying is, those guys are like one in five million, and you have that one right under your roof. He stumbled into my city and he found me, but it never happened."
Felicity ran a hand through her hair, like she'd run over the scenarios a million times, and it frustrated her every time.
"Que sera, sera," Joe hummed.
Felicity heard the door burst open, boxes hitting a wall, finally sliding over into the living room.
"I think these boxes multiply each year," Iris huffed. Barry followed behind her, and a box slipped from his hand. He ran to catch it, and set it at Felicity's feet.
"This one's just for you," he grinned. She smirked, ready to fire at him, when her phone rang.
"It's Caitlin," she said, stepping aside to answer. A minute later she was yelling at Barry to head to a robbery in progress.
Iris watched them all the while, and she turned away when Barry left. She felt a sting of envy, like she'd been outcast from her best friend's life, on his outside now.
Felicity stepped back inside, and noted Iris' muteness. "Hey, he'll be back in a minute, it's nothing too crazy."
"Yeah," Iris nodded.
Joe caught Felicity's eye, and said, "That's not why she's upset."
This was a despair Felicity could not walk her friend through, though, because Felicity was still cutting at the trees of that forest.
She whispered to Joe, "It would be too easy to not have consequences." She meant Barry, she meant Iris, she meant herself, and she meant the man she was tempted to call for a sense of comfort.
;;
(The first year and a half were, she was going to find, the easy part.)