Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder
Will I ever find happiness?
I lie alone shivering in the cold reality
of my fate

But does it have to be this way?

will my true self ever reveal itself?
or, am I destined to be an outcast for all time?
i used to think death would bring me relief from the pain
what a fool I was!
To think that something as beautiful as death would associate with me

Will i ever find a place where I belong?

Even the consolation of night is fleeting
Soon I will fade away as well
but until then I have my miracle
my coffee
which alerts the senses and drowns out my pain.