"'Do they collide?' I ask, and you smile. With my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter." - Death Cab for Cutie
A little Jatie fic, I hope you like this :)
I don't own a thing (except maybe JKelly's butt, amen).
x
"Mom, I'm going for a drive. I'll be back soon."
"Where?"
Katie Matlin grits her teeth at the top of the stairs.
"Just out."
She can almost hear her mom sigh in the basement.
"I don't think-"
"I need to go to Shoppers. Feminine stuff," she lies. She just wants to leave, and this conversation is incredibly annoying.
"Oh, alright." Her mom answers. And Katie almost feels guilty. "For how long?"
Katie nearly bites her tongue. "Thirty minutes maybe? An hour."
"Thirty minutes-" her mom starts to say.
"Be back soon," Katie blurts again. "Love you."
"Love you too!" her mom calls, but Katie's already scrambling towards the front door.
"Hey, can I come?" Katie hears from around the corner, and has to grit her teeth again.
"I'm just going for a drive, May" she smiles, fiddling with the spare keys in her pocket.
"I know," her sister says. "Can I come?"
Katie falters, and Maya's face falls. "Neverm-"
"Sure," says Katie, smiling. "Hurry up though, I'm leaving in five."
Maya grins. "Kay," she says, bolting up the stairs to grab some CDs and a sweater.
-x-
They drive and drive, Katie's happy that she brought her sister along after all. Maya turns the music louder, and they sing; shout even, dancing crazily.
x
"I'm hungry," says Maya, so they drive to McDonalds.
x
"Wanna keep driving?" Katie asks after they're done eating in the car, and Maya nods her head.
x
"Do you wanna take the long route?" Katie proposes, when they find themselves on the way back home. Maya nods, smiling.
They talk. About boys, about girls, about everything wrong, and everything funny.
x
"Oh, I love this song!" Maya exclaims, turning up the volume even still. Then she puts her arm out the window, tapping the car in time with the beat.
The song is incredibly sad, and Katie looks at her sister looking out the window. The girl isn't affected though, and Katie doesn't want to know what it could mean.
She feels the tears, but forces them back.
"Me too."
x
"That was a lot longer than 30 minutes," her mom says when they make it back home. Maya smirks at Katie through sleepy eyes.
"I texted you," says Katie.
"You both have school tomorrow!" her mom answers, and Katie can feel herself bristling.
"I know."
God, it was just a fucking drive. She and Maya needed it, and she isn't about to apologize.
"I don't want you taking the car this late anymore, especially if you're going to be wasting gas."
Katie nearly snorts.
"Goodnight."
Maya lingers though, cornered by their mom, unable to trail up the stairs behind her stomping sister.
"Thanks, Katie," she hears ten minutes later after Maya and her mom are done talking downstairs. Katie's door is shut, but she heard everything.
"I love you," she says softly, and she can almost see Maya smiling behind the door.
"Love you too, Katie."
x
Katie waits until the last light is turned off, and waits a little more until she knows everyone is asleep.
She's in pj bottoms and flip-flops, and doesn't realize till she's snuck back into the car that she's wearing one of Jake's sweaters.
She drives for a long time. The get-away was easy enough: no turning on the headlights, a quick ignition, and off she went.
She turns on the radio, and there's lots of dance music. She isn't in that kind of mood, and smiles when she sees Maya's left her CDs in the car. She picks one up, and puts it in, turning to song Number 1.
She knows this album is sad, but somehow it's just what she needs. She drives further and further from the city, and the deeper she goes, the sadder she gets. It's song Number 4 and she can't stop the tears anymore.
It's dark, so dark, and suddenly she's sobbing. She's 18, alone in a car on a Thursday night, and crying her eyes out, and she doesn't know why. For everything, she guesses. She needed to do it before Maya asked to come, and now that her sister isn't here, she can't stop.
She pulls over, the gravel crunching under the tires.
Not a car in sight.
She pulls out her phone and texts him.
x
"Hey," he smiles, throwing pillows and blankets and maybe a sleeping bag into the back of his truck. She's in the passenger seat, anxious.
"Hey," she smiles back, leaning to kiss him through the window.
She told him she could help, but he told her to just hang tight in the truck.
"So," he says, getting in and slamming the door, "where are we going?"
x
Her dad showed her the place a long time ago.
A little drive, and there they were – close, but just far enough from the city.
She can't remember why they stopped coming here, (maybe she grew up and her dad grew old) but it became her place. Where she drove when things got too crazy. And things seemed a lot crazy these days. It was funny, being here again when her and Maya were here just hours before. Her sister was the only person she'd allowed into her sanctuary.
"And turn left, here," she says softly. She's nervous as hell bringing Jake here. They could break up and this place will be tarnished forever – her place – but all she knows is that she needs him, and maybe she wants a night to remember him by.
The neon numbers blink back at her before he switches off the engine. 1:59am.
"Are you bringing me all the way out here to kill me?" he jokes, quirking an eyebrow.
She smiles.
x
It's about 100 wooden steps till they reach the bottom. Her phone is the only thing lighting their way.
"How much further?" Jake asks, gripping her waist.
"Getting tired?" she teases.
"Getting hungry," he answers low in his throat, as he kisses the back of her neck.
x
They reach the clearing, and Katie smiles when she sees the rocks. It forms a sort of hide-away – nothing much to look at in the day, but at night, it's almost like another world (a cave for two, really).
"Kinky," Jake laughs, and Katie hits his shoulder.
x
He lays out the two blankets he brought, along with the sleeping bag. He didn't have enough hands to bring the pillows, and Katie told him they'd be fine.
She snuggles closer to him, watching the flames crackle in front of her, the fire he made burning bright. A sadness pull at her heart again.
"Why'd you bring me here?" Jake asks after a moment. His tone is serious and Katie wishes it wasn't.
She shrugs, arching her neck up to kiss him. She doesn't want to feel sad.
He shakes her gently. "Katie-" he breathes, but she continues to kiss him.
x
His shirt is open, and her lips are on his neck.
They haven't done this before, and though the fire is burning beside them, Katie feels as though the embers are in her stomach.
She tells herself not to think, but then she can't stop – I'm ugly, I'm broken, do I smell okay?
"Can we play a game?" her voice nearly breaks, and she pulls away from him, her lips red and raw.
She wants to do this, she wants to, but she's not sure she's ready.
x
"Okay," she breathes, and he ignites the match. She told him to put out the fire, and he did. She told him to take the matches she had in her pocket, and he did. She told him to wait, to not light it until she said so. He did.
She pulls the ponytail out of her hair and the locks cascade over her shoulders. They stare at each other through the flame, and before she can count to ten, the match burns up.
She takes a shaky breath the moment they're surrounded by darkness again, and moves to pull his sweater off her. She thinks she can hear his breathing deepen, but her heart is pounding too loudly to tell.
"Okay."
The sweater is off now, and his eyes are amber in the firelight. His gaze is hungry, lingering over every inch of her. She blushes, but she's glad he won't be able to tell.
She knows the flame must be burning his fingers, but he continues to look at her, and doesn't drop it until the fire eats up nearly all of the match.
It's dark again, and it would be silent if not for their breathing. She doesn't let his eyes adjust to the dark though.
"Okay," she says again, only this time, her bra is off too. He has trouble lighting the match, and only at the last second does she cover her breasts with one arm.
She smiles triumphantly when his eyes betray his eagerness. He doesn't let the match burn out this time until the flame licks his flesh.
It's dark once more.
"Okay," she holds her breath and removes her arm, leaving her fully exposed.
His gaze is so intense it's torture, and the flame only burns for a few seconds before his mouth is on hers.
x
He's on top of her and they're sweaty, wrapped up in the blankets. She grips his hair and gasps.
She didn't know it would feel like this. She'd wondered, when they lied together naked before, but this was nothing like she expected. He's inside her, and she feels…full. It's not pleasurable yet, but he's moving and it's getting better.
He holds her like she might leave him, and she scratches his back to let everyone know he's hers. She's whimpering and he keeps kissing her, breathing raggedly. He starts to thrust and she moans; his hands find her face in the dark and holds on.
It's sighs and grunts and oh, oh! as he fucks her, their faces twisted with ecstasy.
He moves faster and they grapple each other's skin, holding on as if their lives depended on it.
She's sore, but his love, seeping through her veins like syrup – warm and wet and thick – soothes her.
He looks into her eyes and she nods, gripping his face while her fingers caress his jaw.
"I'll pull out," he swears, his forehead against hers. She pulls him tighter, biting his lip as she kisses him. She can't speak, the pleasure mounting, and he thrusts deeper.
The fire died long ago, but Katie's burning.
She feels him twitch, and with one final thrust, he pulls out. She's open and suddenly so cold, missing him inside of her.
He comes on her stomach and her thighs, wrapping himself around her as he feels her shiver. He's a blanket, soft and heavy, completely engulfing her.
This place is hers, will always be hers…but as he lies on top of her, kissing her nose, maybe he's a part of her too.
x
"So this is why you brought be here," he grins, pulling her on top of him. She almost laughs.
"I come here to get away," she says, and laces her fingers with his. He nods.
She wants him to ask again, wants him to laugh again, to say something, anything.
But he doesn't.
Maybe this was a mistake.
"Katie," he starts, and she can't look at him.
"I know this place is special to you. You don't have to tell me why, I just…thank you, for bringing be here."
It's dark, and they can't see a thing, but Jake feels her smile against his chest.
x
"Don't be embarrassed," he laughs. They're in the back of the truck now, blankets and pillows and sleeping bags and all, and Katie's laughing too.
"But this is normal right?" she squeaks. He kisses her forehead.
"Yeah," he smiles. "It happens. Don't worry, it'll go away."
She clasps her legs together as another sound escapes. "Oh my God, kill me!" she groans.
He can't help laughing louder. "It's just air. And the fact that you haven't had sex in a while. And the fact that I have a huge cock."
She bursts out laughing and has to clench her legs even tighter together. Jake's howling with laughter now too.
"Shut up!" she pouts, and jumps on top of him.
x
They try again, but she's too sore.
"Sorry," she rasps.
"It's okay," he assures. And when he holds her hand, she knows it is.
x
4:58am.
"Want McDonalds?" he asks.
She smiles.
x
They're at his house now, but she doesn't want to leave him.
"Coming?" he takes her hand.
x
They throw the sleeping bag, pillows, and blankets on his floor.
She tells him she wants to take a shower, and he tells her he'll wait for her.
When she comes back into the room, he's fast asleep.
x
She sets her alarm; she's got 30 minutes to sleep before she has to drive back home. She lifts up the covers to get into his bed, and finds his arm outstretched.
x
It's 7am. Her alarm blares and she scrambles to shut it off. His eyelids flutter, and she tells him to go back to sleep.
He tells her he'll drive her back home. She tells him she has to get the car back anyways.
x
She's sitting in the driver's seat and he raps on the window. She jumps, startled, but rolls it down.
"Hey," he says, and hands her some banana bread. "Helen made it, so I don't know if it'll be any good," he smirks.
She giggles. "We just ate."
"Take it," he shrugs. She gives him a look, but he just smiles, as if to say you know you love me anyway.
"Thanks. For everything, I mean. See you later," she says, and presses a hand to his face to give him a quick peck. She ignites the engine and reaches for the gearshift when he stops her.
"Kate," he says, low. "I love you."
She's the kind of girl who drives to get away, who needs her space, and who knows she's hard to love.
But if she already misses him in the passenger seat, already misses him in her place – close but just far enough away, already misses his skin on hers, and he's the kind of boy who means everything he says, then maybe she can be brave and tell him she loves him too.
And with quiet sincerity, she does.
x
She parks in her driveway, the gas tank full.
I just want to say thank you to all my readers. It really means the world, thank you :) Review?