New story! It takes place a few years after season five. This story ignores a lot of season six, if not all of it. It doesn't follow the cannon universe in a lot of ways. I kind of just picked what I liked from the story and played with it, 'cause we all know Cady deserved better than what this show gave her. Hope you enjoy it!
Established (kind of) relationship fic. It ain't easy keeping secrets, folks.
Cady woke up early that morning, her lips dry and her breath visible in the chilly air. She was sitting quietly on the steps of Jacob's back porch, watching the sky. This cold weather is killing me, Cady thought. She was sitting quietly as she slowly came to wakefulness in the cold Wyoming air.
The sky was moving through it's sunrise, deep orange streaks cast across the sky. The back door opened and Jacob stepped out with two steaming mugs in his hands. Passing her tea to her, she took the mug and held it her chest. The sun shined bright, but it couldn't combat the cold on its own.
He sat down next to her and brought his mug of hot tea to his lips. A kiss on his shoulder caused him to turn his head curiously towards her. He leaned back just far enough to wrap an arm around her.
"You're freezing," he said, rubbing his thumb on her arm. He took another sip of his tea. They did this most mornings.
"Like ice." She pushed her toes against him, trying to steal some warmth from him. "But it's worth it." She looked back to the rising sun.
"Jesus," he muttered at her cold skin against his. She took a small sip of her tea, testing how hot it was, and let her thoughts carry her away.
Their affair was amazing. It was the most beautiful part of her life. But on some days, it was also the hardest part of her life. It had been two years, after all. The secrecy was wearing on her.
The way she always parked in the garage while he parked in the driveway so her car was concealed from anyone who drove by was fine for a long time, but it was getting old. It wasn't just that, it was a million tiny things that all added up to her feeling like her life was more lie than truth. It was seeing him at the grocery store and not stopping to talk. It was always coming to his place, never to hers, in case someone stopped over. The constant sneaking around and excuses for her whereabouts when her dad or Henry noticed she hadn't been home in a couple days.
Keeping their relationship a secret was no longer torrid, it was just exhausting. She was tired of lying to her dad, tired of lying to anybody. It had been eating away at her insides for months. She brought it up to him from time to time, but he was never open to making a change. And something had to change before she let the anxiety take over her life completely.
His voice snapped her out of it. "Is there something on your mind?" he asked pensively.
"Honestly?" she asked. A sip from her tea. He nodded. "I want to tell people about us." Maybe it was because she was tired, maybe it was because the beautiful sunrise made her feel bold. But she just had to say it.
She could see his jaw clench immediately. "Cady, we've talked about this," Jacob said with a sigh. "I don't think it's a good idea."
"Please, just hear me out. My dad has Vic now, and he's really mellowed out. And the tribe…"
The mug in Jacob's hand hit the step next to them loudly, tea sloshing out. He stood up, his body tense.
"Members of the tribe would be furious. I'd be accused of corruption, considering what kind of paycheck you get from me. And your dad would love an excuse to put me on the business end of that rifle he carries around." He paced, looking down on her.
His reaction floored her, and she could feel her temper rising. It always led back to this. They'd had this same fight over and over, and she was sick of it.
"So, you'd rather live your life hiding this than go through a few upset egos? My god, Jacob it's been two years." She stood up and looked at him incredulously.
"I don't want to hide any more than you do. But I don't see another way."
"There's another way. You just fail to even consider making a sacrifice for me, despite the fact that I make them for you every single day. I mean what, are you ashamed of me? Do you not want the tribe to know you've chosen a white woman?"
"Stop," he warned. His frustration was building with every word she spoke.
She desperately searched his face for any sign that he could change his mind. His eyes were steely and unwavering.
"I mean it, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I can't hide anymore." Her throat was tightening. "Do you love me?"
He clenched his jaw. "That has nothing to do with this."
"Do you?" she repeated.
"Of course I do."
"Then please, just be with me in front of the world," she pleaded. "What we do – this isn't normal, you do get that, right?"
"Cady… please try to understand." He reached out to touch her but she pulled away. There was nothing but pain to come from continuing this conversation. She knew how it would go. She knew his mind could not be changed, seemingly not for anything in the world. And she loved Jacob. God, did she love him. But she couldn't take another day of hiding.
Before her brain knew what she was saying, the words were already flying out of her mouth. "Nothing's ever going to change. I can't continue like this. I'm sorry, Jacob."
Her words shocked even herself, but it was right. She stood up and walked to his bedroom, Jacob following behind her each step of the way. Disbelief struck him as he saw her take her toothbrush from the bathroom and some clothes from the drawer he had cleared in his dresser for her.
His eyes flashed with disbelief. "You're sorry?"
"Yes. I am." Little cracks were forming in her heart. Brushing past him as she walked away, he was lost.
"Please try to be reasonable."
"I am. It's reasonable to want to tell my family and friends about the person I love. It's reasonable to want to be able to go to the grocery store together. To not want to feel like a secret." There were tears in her eyes and her voice was cracking. Finally, she grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter. It was all she could do not to break down and cry.
"Wait- this can't seriously be it. This can't be the end."
"I don't think that it's the end. But I know we can't keep going." Any attempt at keeping herself together was futile. Tears were streaming down her face openly. His eyes were painfully confused, which only made it worse. One minute they had been sharing tea, the next she was gathering her things and leaving him.
He reached out for her, and this time she didn't deny him. Pulling her into him, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. His nose was buried in her hair. She closed her eyes, forcing more tears down her cheeks. Her lips quivered as she tried to memorize every detail of him. His smell, his warmth, the way his body pressed into hers…
"Cady…" he said softly. "Please don't go."
She choked on her own words. "I have to go. I'm sorry."
It took all the strength she possessed, but she pulled herself away. She wished Jacob would take his eyes off of her because she was too ashamed.
She was in her car, driving back to her house. With a sideways glance at her toothbrush and spare clothes, she hit the steering wheel and let the tears flow.
At work it must have been apparent that she was in a somber mood because the whole atmosphere was quiet and everyone seemed to be tiptoeing around her. She ended up going to her office and closing the door most of the day. Normally she took her lunch to a bench in a nearby park, but she'd been skipping lunch altogether.
She wasn't eating much of anything, her appetite leaving her completely. Mint tea was her go-to all day. After sleeping horribly, tossing and turning all night, she was sure she looked like a mess.
It went on like this for a few days. No sleep, not much food, and spending most of her time in her office. She told herself she needed to be more involved with the legal team and get her spirits up, but she couldn't bring herself to crack a smile. Leaving Jacob was her own choice yet she was falling apart. How could she carry on like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't? Cady missed him. She couldn't sleep without him.
At the end of another bland and quiet day at her desk, there was a tap at her door.
"Hey boss… we closed up a little while ago. Everyone else has left. I just wanted to let you know I left a sandwich for you in the kitchen."
It was Mason Running Bear. If Mason was leaving out food for her than it was clear he noticed she hadn't been eating at work.
She had hired him in the group of applicants from Jacob when the legal aid center had first got up and running. He had family on the tribal council. Other than Mandy, he was one of her oldest employees. He had a long slender face and long black hair that fell to the middle of his back. His eyes were dark but kind and he had a crooked smile. Although he was tall and broad-shouldered, he wasn't intimidating in the slightest.
She forced a smile. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
"I know," he said with that crooked smile. "See you Monday."
He left quietly. She walked out to the kitchen and saw the sandwich on the counter. Tentatively, she bit into it, chewing slowly.
Cady didn't have many pictures of Jacob, and certainly none of them together. But she did have one on her phone that he didn't know about. It was one she had quietly taken of him while he was playing his piano. She pulled this picture up on her phone and looked at it shakily.
She thought about the first time they slept together, back when it all started. It had been a late night at the office. Jacob had seen the lights in the windows as he drove home and pulled in to tell her she probably shouldn't stay at the office too late by herself. She told him she just needed another hour to finish signing papers. He didn't look convinced that it was a good idea, so she told him he was free to stay and help.
"I don't think my signature is the one they want," Jacob had said.
"I made signature stamps. All the good lawyers do."
He held out his hand and said, "Show me what to do." She'd smiled at him and told him where to sign. They stayed there and stamped papers repeatedly. At some point she looked over to him, causing him to look up at her too. They looked at each other just a little too long to be decent.
Once they had finished up they had gone to the sink to wash their hands of the ink that had dyed their fingertips black. When she had turned around after drying her hands off he was standing behind her, watching her. She looked up to him, the air thick between them. His eyes were quiet and calm and completely focused on her. And then they were kissing, they were closing the blinds in the kitchen, they were undressing quickly…
When they were redressing, somewhat awkwardly, they agreed it was a one-time thing, not to be repeated.
That was only true till the next time, though. One night Cady was staying late at the office, this time painting the walls. She was trying to brighten the place up a little. Jacob pulled up and it happened again. And again, they agreed this was the last time.
Soon Cady would stay at the office late a couple times a week, not really sure what she was hoping for. Maybe she was hoping he'd see the lights still on as he left the casino and stop to warn her of the perils of being out here alone this late. It went on like that for a while. In reality, the danger was never in being there late at all. She was perilously close to falling for him, despite the fact that wouldn't admit it to herself or see that he was too.
He would stop by and it would, of course, happen again. And they'd say it again, too: this is the last time. It got to the point where neither of them really believed what they said, as they zipped up their pants and straightened their hair. One day, Cady went to his house to tell Jacob she wanted to hire more help. As she was getting ready to leave he invited her in for coffee, and one thing led to another.
Afterward they had laid there and just talked for a while. When it came time to get dressed, neither of them promised that this was the last time. And that was that.