A Piece of Me (To You)
There lay the ruins of battle. There lay the bodies of the line of Durin. There lay the body of the fallen Thorin, in the arms of Bilbo Baggins. As much as he tried to keep him alive, there was nothing he could do. It was too late. He sobbed until the tears could flow no more. (Farewell, Master Burglar.)
It was time to lay rest the fallen of war. Side by side, the tombs of Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli rested deep within the Mountain. Each of the dwarves paid their respects to them, then came the Elvenking and Bard. The final one being Bilbo, who stood by Thorin's side the entire time. It's what he did throughout the journey; he was not going to leave him now. Even with great reluctance, he needed to be by his side just one more time. He was left alone in his silence, just as they were to bury the tombs, Bilbo placed the Arkenstone in Thorin's hands, and layed a small, chaste kiss on his forehead. ("Farewell, Thorin.")
Bilbo did not stay for Dain's coronation as King Under the Mountain. For him, Thorin had been the one and only king to rule. Balin had been the first to bid him farewell, and Bilbo tried to explain what Thorin had been to him, but all he could mutter was, "He was... he was my...," and Balin shook his head as if he already knew what he wanted to say. He said his goodbyes to the rest of the dwarves ("Tea is at four. Stop by any time. Don't bother knocking!"), retrieved his chest of treasures, and began his way back home. His heart felt heavy, like the weight of the world had been placed on his chest, yet it also felt as light as a feather, one that could drift away in the winds.
When he returned to The Shire, Bilbo saw an auction being held in front of Bag End. All his belongings were being sold off, as the hobbits believed him to be dead. With the gold he received back at the Mountain, he could buy all the lands of The Shire. To prove he was the real Bilbo Baggins, he showed the auctioneer his contract, with his signature at the very bottom. But what he could snatch back at that moment were a set of silver spoons from the hands of Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. With that, he headed inside his smial when he heard the auctioneer call out, "What was he to you, this Thorin Oakenshield?" And all Bilbo could say, with great hesitance was, "He was my friend."
He closed the door behind him, and took a look aorund his home, how it felt cold and desolate. There was nearly nothing left, and dust was everywhere. He arranged a few things, and took out his magic ring to admire it for a moment. Once settled, the hobbit sat at his desk and took out some sheets of paper and a quill and ink. At that moment, all he could do was ponder at the events that had taken place in his home some nearly 3 years ago, and the whole journey he took with his new found companions. And of Thorin. So, he decided to write him a letter, one that no carrier bird could send. In it he explained the journey he took, not just a journey through Middle-earth, but also one of self-discovery and love. This is what he wrote.
My Dear Thorin,
The battle you fought may have ended, but the battle I fought has yet to cease. There were many a time throughout this journey when you doubted me, and I began to believe it at one point, but every time I have shown my worth. I fought the battle along side while also fighting one of my own. You had not been the person I knew back then on that faithful day in my home. You changed the moment you laid your eyes on that tainted hoard. I was afraid for you. I saw you be driven to madness in that mountain. I did what I thought best for all sides, including you. The outcome was one I hoped would not happen.
Something occured within me that was quite unexpected. In spite of your stubbornness, your doubting me, your sickness, you managed to wedge yourself within the confines of my heart. A place I believed no one could reach. In time, strangers became acquaintances, which became friends, and eventually to something much deeper than that. I did not want it to be what I thought it was, for fear of rejection, or worse, losing a great friend. So badly, I wanted it to be naught but a passing feeling. But as I lay your dying body in my arms, I knew I could not ignore what had been. I truly believe you felt the same way, even if you could not say it. Neither could I, until now. For all that you were, I had loved you. I still do. For no one could ever fill the emptiness as you have. No one ever will. You are not here in body, but always in spirit and memory. You were the oak tree, with an impenetrable exterior that no one could pierce. I was the acorn, which began with little knowledge of the outside world, but with time and patience had the potential to grow. It is with this that I must end this letter. It is now time to bid you a very fond farewell.
Your Burglar, your friend, your love,
Bilbo Baggins
Once he had finished writing his letter, he put it in an envelope, but did not seal it, so that he could look at it at any time. With tears rolling down his face, he patted down his vest, and felt some small object inside. It was the acorn which he showed to Thorin, the acorn which had brought him out of his sickness, even if for a moment. Bilbo reminisced about that moment, when he smiled down at him. He also remembered Thorin's dying words ("Plant your trees, watch them grow."). How could something as simple as an acorn bring him out of madness, put a smile on his face, give him peace, if but for a moment? For a second, he pondered at that, and the realization came to him. Thorin cared for him, deeply, and trusted him.
He went outside and planted it in his yard, and hushed a soft tune to it.
As the years passed, he no longer felt alone. Bilbo watched the tree grow, and every year, he would read the letter he wrote to Thorin under the oak, ending his visit by singing the same tune he had sung the day he planted it. His nephew Frodo would not ask why he did that every year, but he liked to think it had to do with someone he deeply cared for and loved.
It was time for Bilbo to leave, but before he did, he picked up an acorn from the tree he planted in Thorin's memory so many years ago, and put it inside his vest pocket. He believed it at first to be a somber day, but the thought that he might finally be at peace in the Undying Lands gave him hope.