214
Am I real?
Yukito yet again asked the question as soon as he regained consciousness after transforming back from being Yue.
"You are..." Touya muttered the same answer he had been giving Yuki. But those two words have never failed to be his reply, giving Yuki the impression that it was just something Touya had gotten used to answer. Just meaningless words. Words that defy their true purpose, to console. They only inflict more pain. It makes him feelhe was as worthless. For Yukito, the words seemed like a mask: plain civility from Touya.
Do the words I speak
Before you make you feel
That the love I have for you
Will see no ending
Touya has never been good with words. He wanted so much to do everything to ease Yuki's pain. But all he could do was mumble two words! For goodness's sake, how stupid could he get! Yukito was suffering, part of it his fault. And why? He should have told him sooner about the truth.If he had told him that he knew since the moment he saw him.Or that it never really mattered to him who Yukito really was, and what he was for that matter,Yuki would have believed that he wasn'tJUST a front for Yue. He's his closest friend, probably the most special person besides his grandparents. He's the only person capable ofreachingYuki's hidden distant self. He had so many opportunities to do so, but he didn't.
And now, all he could do was hold him.
Yuki's shoulders began to rock, silenced sobs escaping his lips.
Then allTouya could do was stare at him.
Well, if you look into my eyes
Then you should know
That you have nothing
Here to doubt, nothing to fear
"Yuki..."
"T-touya..." Yukito dropped his gaze to avoid Touya's.
"Yuki...look into my eyes..." Touya gently lifted Yuki's chin to force him to look. "What do you see?" he urged sensing Yukito's stillness.
"Nothing..." desperation could be traced from his voice.
"Look deeper..."
"I...I see..." Yukito gasped.
"Your reflection right?"
"Y-yes..."
"Because it's Yukito I'm looking at right now..."
Yukito suddenly threw his self into Touya's arms. He let out his sobs, all the ill feelings that had subconsciously accumulated due to his cheery disposition. Yes he was human, he was alive...
And you can lay your questions down
'Cause if you'll hold me
We can fade into the night
And you'll know
And still, all that Touya could do was hold him. And this time it was enough...
The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shan't cry
'Cause time may pass
But longer than it'll last
I'll be by your side
"Are you all right now Yuki?" Touya found his question stupid. Of course he still wasn't fine. What would anyone feel if you found out your existence is questionable? The existence itself was questionable. A matter of choosing between yes or no. Do I? Or do I not exist?
"I feel better now," he shifted so that only his head was leaning and then he wiped his tears with the back of his hand, "it's just that I feel tired. It eats up more of my energy every time, sometimes I'm afraid that..."
Touya was glad he trailed off, "shhh...nothing like that would happen..."
Take my hand
And gently close your eyes
So you could understand
That there's no greater love tonight
Than what I've for you
Touya then unexpectedly scooped Yuki's head to tuck it in his arms. He leveled his ear with his heart.
"Do you feel my heart beating?"
"Yes," Yuki's voice was kind of shaky from anticipation.
Then Touya grabbed Yuki's hand to place it on his own chest.
"Now do you feel yours?"
Well, if you feel the same way
For me then let go
We can journey to a garden
No one knows
Life is short, my darling
Tell me that you love me
Yukito can't answer with even a nod. He was overflowing with emotions that Touya understood his acknowledgement through his silence. He wasn't damn expecting this...and so he spoke too soon...
"Don't they seem to beat as one? Cause they do beat as one..."
Yuki suddenly looked at him with shock-widened orbs. Surprise was an understatement. And so are any synonymous words to it. Nothing could ever describe what he was feeling at the moment.
"T-touya? Is it true?"
So we can fade into the night and you'll know
The world could die
And everything may lie
But you won't cry
'Cause time may pass
And everything won't last
But I'll be by your side
Forever by your side
So you won't cry
"Of course..."
And Touya continued on holding him. And this time, it was more than enough. A promise of forever was sworn through unspoken words. And tears were nothing more but stars that add up to heaven's beauty. The moon was their silent witness, it held the final judgment of the sincerity of their feelings.
Is it real?
A/N: I had nothing to do and I edited this fic! It didn't change much though. I can't drastically change something I made years ago. It would defy the purpose of seing my previous self.
The song is called 214 by Rivermaya. I've known this song a few years already before I learned of the lyrics. I was a bit young when it was first realeased, that I only remembered the tune. First time I heard again about this song, I immediately thought of Touya and Yuki... hence this fic. I believe 214 is for the first line, "am I real?" 2 letters, 1, 4. But my friend pointed out to me, it could also mean Feb14. So is Rivermaya great? Or are they great?
Wait do I have to do the disclaimers thingy?
Ok...they're not mine...neither yours...though we pathetically wish so...
MINNA A-RI-GA-TO-U (ccs fans should be able to relate to this song...to those who can't...try hard to be able to do so. This song is great...)