AN: More of a teaser of a bigger story I'm planning. :) I don't own anything but this story
The Sin
With strength comes acceptation. — CielAlois
—
AT: Hi Ciel! :D
AT: What are you doing besides from missing me?
AT: Oh my. Do you think I will like you more if you don't answer? Let me tell you something—that's not possible ;)
AT: If you don't answer me there will be sex in the toilet at school tomorrow ;)
AT: Ciel?
AT: C'mon! I'm joking.
Ciel_P: I hate you…
AT: (L)
—
There was just something about the bed's unnecessary strong and tight embrace, where you lied hidden under blank sheets, curled into a small ball, that made it almost impossible to break free from its grasp in the morning.
Ciel Phantomhive was not an exception to this—his mornings left much to be desired. And for a boy of his reputation, sleep was not something he could bath in.
Right now, that was not the main problem he had to face.
Alois. Or rather—what he and Alois had become.
Alois Trancy was like an infection, slowly and steadily he drilled through skin and plagued his whole system. Alois made it impossible to think, to react, to keep the mask of unconcern glued to his own open face. This had happen too fast, without any hints, any obstacles, and the only one that doubted was Ciel himself.
Alois knew what he wanted. Ciel did not.
As the room became lit by the world outside, Ciel slowly opened his eyes to face the room. The sun's rays slipped through the cracks of the venetian blind and created fingers on his bare skin, from the birth of his thin hand up to his upper arm. Carefully, he tried to move his fingers free from the trance sleep gave him, starting there to his legs, only to find out that his legs was inexplicably tangled with a pair of two others.
No, no, no.
"Alois," Ciel managed to grump out but the name fell flat on the sheet like his hand. Alois was still fast asleep, head buried in a white pillow, breathing calculated and calm. Despite Ciel's previous hatred—or what he called hatred—it seemed to be as weak as his attempt to shove the blond boy off him and he knew why—Alois affected him. What would he be without Alois?
He didn't want to know.
There was like two sides of Alois. The perverted and idiotic and irritating one when he was awake, full of energy and impossible to read ahead and there was this—calm, soft and gentle. For unknown reasons, Alois was a cuddler in sleep and disregarding of Ciel's attempt of shoving him off in sleep, it was like a specific mechanism programmed in his mind that made him crawl towards a sign of human warmth.
And it was impossible to deny him when he looked like that, soft, with bleary blue eyes, pink lips and rosy cheeks—vulnerable. Ciel made a mental deal to never ever fall for anyone, it made you weak and Ciel couldn't be weak, but here he was and this was what he had. He hated Alois but he did more than that. And it was the "more" that made the tower fall to pieces and cover the ground around him with trash.
"Alois," Ciel tried again, a little louder this time, and shook his shoulder. "Wake up."
"Mm," Alois smiled in his sleep and quickly snakes his arms around Ciel's chest, tightly, skin against skin, warmth against warmth, until there was nothing left.
"Are you trying to kill me?" Ciel asked, without—of course—getting an answer. "Get off. I can't breathe."
"D—Don't go," Alois whispered, his voice sounding like thick porridge, and the tone almost—almost—made Ciel melt to a puddle in the floor. There was just something about him, like an open book—you knew what he wanted.
Before Ciel could snarl out a reply, there was a knock on the door.
Ciel frowned. He certainly didn't want to see his butler Sebastian's grin when he found out that he and Alois laid in an, um, awkward position at the dawn of a new day to come.
"Go away," he shouted. "I will tell you when I'm ready."
He didn't add "we." That would reveal a dependence on the other that Ciel didn't want to admit to anyone.
Because, he knew that his morality was already heading to the scrap yard. It didn't have to get worse.
"Hm," Alois muttered under his breath, probably being startled by Ciel's harsh shout. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Ciel answered and placed his hands in Alois' blond hair. "Now, if you don't mind, can you get off me?"
"But Ciel, you make such a good pillow," Alois complained and gently touched the sensitive skin on Ciel's cheek. "You are mine now and I don't want to let you go."
"That's not for just you to decide," Ciel snarled.
"No," Alois agreed and let one warm fingertip trail down the line of Ciel's jaw, "but I think, after what we experienced yesterday, that this is not as one-sided as you want me to think it is."
"Yes it is."
"Your arguments are not very stable in the mornings, are they?" Alois teased and crawled—if that was even possible—closer, one leg wrapped over Ciel's both, one hand in his blue hair.
"Go away," Ciel sighed but did not attempt to push the blond away.
"No," Alois said and Ciel could feel a breath warm and moist boom against his ear that made a shiver crawl through his blood-system. "Because, if I go, will you let me come back?"
No, he wanted to say but the words wouldn't come out. Truth was, he would. No matter what Alois did, what he planned to achieve with this madness—Ciel needed him. He needed him more than Alois would ever need Ciel.
"Don't worry about that," Ciel finally admitted, "I would."
"I know," Alois smiled and gently pulled Ciel closer to him, planting a soft kiss on Ciel's cheek, in order to make his face burn like a candle.
The problem was, Ciel enjoyed this. In the depths of his lonely heart, this was like a string of light. Not much, perhaps, but it was what he needed. Alois didn't care if he got rejected and it was unusual. Normally, rejecting meant good-bye.
Alois Trancy continued. He gave and gave and Ciel received and received and it mended the open wounds that otherwise would bleed out his terror. His memories. His past. Alois tried. It was enough, it was everything.
And as Sebastian once again knocked on the door-frame, Ciel told him to give them another hour. His head returned to his pillow after this arduous task, and he found that Alois was smiling at him, not with lips, with eyes.
"Well," Ciel signed and shrugged. "Go ahead. I'm your pillow."
"Yay," Alois chimed and drilled his head between the crock of Ciel's throat and shoulder, taking approximately two seconds to fall asleep and growing limp where he laid widespread over Ciel.
Ciel said nothing and started to move his fingers through those blond locks instead of continuing with his mental arguing.
—
AT: Do you love me?
AT: Because, you know, it's okay if you don't. I can live with it. Because I love you. And I will never let you go. You hear me? No matter what happens :)
AT: :) (L)
Ciel_P: … Idiot.
Ciel_P: (L)
—
fin