A/N: So, I have stood at the water's edge, enjoying the efforts of a group of very talented writers, who's skill has brought back the fond memories of a show that unfortunately only lasted one season. To thank them for sharing their stories with me, I take a humble first plunge into the ocean. It's a one shot that takes place several years after the series ended and a few of the boys have left home (sniff, sniff). All the McFadden brothers plus Hannah are present and accounted for. It's a bit of a sappy piece but for a bunch of cowboys, these men sure knew how to bring on the emotions.
My gratitude goes to May who generously agreed to beta this. The fact that I can say that, elevates this little piece to a place it cannot reach. Thank you so much for doing it and creating the picture of the house. It's a first attempt at writing and with last minute tinkering, all errors are mine.
Home
by Bay5
Bright lights from the busy streets and tall buildings lit up the black metropolis skyline as Daniel McFadden leaned his head against the glass window to stare out into the night. He was tired and something about the view managed to thrill him and leave a fleeting sense of melancholy all at the same time.
A shrill siren wailed somewhere in the distance, and the laughter from a small group of late night revelers floated up from the sidewalk as his RV rounded the corner towards the highway. The band was making another long drive in the dark and, by morning a different city would be on the horizon.
It was 2 am and Daniel was supposed to crawl into the bed in the back to get some rest but he couldn't sleep. Strands of his dark brown hair still wet from the shower curled just behind his ear and loose arms hugged an acoustic guitar in his lap. Perched on a bench seat in his mobile home, grander and larger than any vehicle the McFadden family had ever owned, Daniel was wishing for the company of the crew riding in the bus behind. For someone who grew up in a house full of seven brothers, the quiet was unnerving and, with only the hum of the engine and the occasional low whispers of his driver and manager up front, loneliness was starting to seep in. Plus the adrenaline Daniel always felt after a performance pumped through his veins and the echoes of tonight's crowd still bounced around in his head.
Resting a polished cowboy boot up on the cushioned seat in front, the young musician slowly moved one of his hands to press his fingertips against the dark glass; letting the images of the city run underneath while his own reflection floated nearby.
Three tours and two platinum albums later it was getting harder to believe the face looking back at him belonged to the same kid who'd grown up on a cattle ranch in Murphys, California. The one who used to lay awake sleepless nights watching the moonlight dance on his bedroom ceiling thinking of a life like this.
A world away from Circle Bar Seven.
Back then he was one of the McFadden boys. Seven of them, under the guardianship of his brother Adam, struggling to keep the business running and the family together after their parents died tragically just before Daniel turned eight.
Now, three weeks shy of his twenty first birthday, he was there, living the dream that had been inside his heart and his soul ever since he was fourteen years old.
The dream to make it big playing music. His music.
Sometimes it was everything he imagined and he rode on incredible highs but sometimes, especially in the quiet, there would be reflective lows.
Not that Daniel was complaining about the gifts life had handed him. He was more than grateful. Most people would give an arm and a leg for what he had. He was finally in a financial position to help his brothers, to give back to them everything they had given him, all while doing what he loved the most. That alone made everything worth it.
It was just that at times, on the road, in hotels, surrounded by people he didn't know, Daniel felt far away from those things that grounded him.
Far from family and home.
Leaving the edges of the city, he could still see in the distance the big domed stadium where earlier tonight they had taken center stage to a sold out crowd. Letting his eyes linger there until all the bright lights disappeared into the blackness of the open highway, Daniel felt some of the restlessness melt away with it.
Breathing a deep sigh, the young singer absentmindedly strummed a few cords to fill the silence as he relaxed into the pillows behind him.
Turning his gaze up to the ceiling, he couldn't help but imagine a clear starry sky in the country, the low sounds of bedding livestock and the warm tickles of laughter drifting from a bright open kitchen window.
The chords he was playing turned into the soft notes of a song he used to sing with his family and a small smile curled his lips.
Thinking about them always brought him comfort.
Adam, Brian and Crane, three brothers above, Evan, Ford, Guthrie, three brothers below.
Daniel was in the middle and together they surrounded him.
Guthrie was the baby, maybe not so much anymore at fifteen, but to them he would always hold the title in the family. Something about him still had an air of innocence, a way of looking at the world believing it could be a better place. All his older brothers wanted to protect that. He was their blank slate, the one with no memories of their parents before they died. Together they could pour into him all the good things they remembered about Adam and Kate McFadden without thinking about any of the hurt.
Ford was the second youngest and probably the quietest which made it easy for him to get lost in a family known for being loud and talking over each other. The sensitive teen was always worrying about whether he did or said the right thing and never once failed to remember his manners. If Ford was ever hard on anyone it was himself. Sometimes Daniel couldn't always relate to his introverted brother but like with Guthrie, he was awfully protective of Ford. His eighteen-year-old sibling was in his first year of university and Daniel was worried about how the freshman was doing without the rest of them around to look out for him. When this leg of the tour was over he wanted to make a special point of surprising Ford on campus with a visit, hopefully with a little less excitement than the first time.
Evan was next and only sixteen months younger than Daniel. As a result they shared everything, friends, sports teams, classmates, girls they liked; they even grew into hand me downs at the same time. It created a kind of friendly rivalry that every once in a while turned into something more when testosterone got in the way. When they were boys it was wrestling matches and arguments about who was taller than whom, then in high school the confrontations became about girls and grudges on the football field. Daniel was ashamed to admit they had their share of knock down-drag out fistfights, but at the end of the day they were brothers that loved each other, and if anyone else ever took a swing at either of them they could count on the other one to have their back. He was proud of Evan's achievements and missed the daily banter with his redheaded brother.
Crane was four years older than Daniel, and in an already tight knit family, the one Daniel turned to the most. Maybe it was because they had been roommates for as long as either of them could remember or, maybe it was because Crane shared his love of music more than the others, or maybe…maybe, it was because his third brother had stepped in to take over when Daniel desperately needed someone to.
Just after their parents died, Adam and Brian had had their hands full keeping the ranch going and food on the table. They also had four very young brothers to look after. Guthrie was still in diapers and Ford was just starting Kindergarten. At eight, Daniel had wanted so much to live up to their expectations and be strong but the scars of his parents' loss ran deeper than he let any of them know. It was Crane that took on the responsibility of providing the physical and emotional comfort Daniel needed, and in turn Daniel had come to depend on that.
Together in the dark and quiet of their room in the days after the accident, it was Crane that chased away the nightmares with reassuring hugs, and tried to make sense of a world turned upside down. Big brother was always there to keep an extra eye out for him. As the pain of doing anything happy lessened, they spent countless hours writing and playing songs together, sharing things that only music had a way of drawing out.
His quiet older brother was also extremely tolerant. When Daniel turned eighteen, Adam consented to the band playing in clubs around town. Crane in turn became the recipient of more than one pouncing wake up call when Daniel bounded into their room in the wee hours of the morning too excited to sleep. Crane was always willing to listen to his ramblings, even if it was from under the cover of a pillow at 1 am. He was Daniel's staunchest supporter when it came to pursuing his dreams, even now. When he flew to LA for the first time it was Crane on the plane beside him, as he had been all of Daniel's life.
This success was as much his accomplishment as it was Daniel's, and sometimes Daniel wished he could share it more. The best he could do was convince Crane to sing back up on one track on his second album, and even then his reserved brother refused to be credited.
Brian was second oldest and about as opposite in personality from Crane as two brothers could be. Where Crane was cautious and quiet, Brian was headstrong and impulsive. Sixteen when their parents died, Brian was left with almost as much responsibility as Adam when it came to the business and his young siblings. Not that Brian would have ever turned his back on the ranch even if their parents hadn't been gone. He lived and breathed the land and was fiercely protective of it and his family. Brian worked hard and occasionally he played hard, but whenever Daniel or any of them needed him, he was there.
Seeing the familiar outline of any of his older brothers leaning against the truck waiting for him always filled Daniel with a sense of comfort and stability especially in the months and even years after their parents were gone. Brian was there to pick Daniel up from music lessons and watched football games from the sidelines, and even though Adam didn't always approve of the late night excursions, he was there in a few rowdy bars when things got out of control for his band. His tough older brother had some rough edges but he always shot straight, said it like it was, and Daniel appreciated that. Whether it was taking them out hunting or riding out to check the cattle, or teaching them how to throw a punch, Brian had his own way of watching out for all his younger brothers.
Adam was the oldest and by the time Daniel was eighteen, Adam had been his official guardian more years than he had been his big brother. Their relationship was complicated and they definitely had their share of words. The two of them didn't always see eye to eye when Daniel was a teenager but now he understood Adam's motives more than he did back then and he was beginning to realize the pressures he had placed on the both of them.
Adam was ten years older and even before their parents died he was someone Daniel and his younger brothers put up on a pedestal. He was good-looking, popular, athletic, plus he'd won scholarships and academic awards. Adam carried their father's name and he lived up to it. To four idolizing young brothers, it seemed like he was good at everything he did.
Daniel used to think his oldest brother had changed after their parents died but truth was he didn't change, his responsibilities did. Adam had been only eighteen that year, a kid really when it happened, but Daniel never saw him that way. To him, if someone as big and strong as his Daddy could die and leave them alone, he needed Adam to be invincible.
There was no way his eldest brother could live up to that.
He had expected Adam to just "get" him and resented what he thought was plain pig headedness on Adam's part. Problem was they were both stubborn. A lot of the fights in his teens had been about Daniel's music versus his responsibilities to the family and the ranch. More than once hurtful words were exchanged. Still, no matter how many times Daniel had stormed off angry, Adam was always there, sitting in the armchair in the living room waiting for Daniel to come home. To the younger boys he was "Dad" and they depended on the promise he made to them the night he told them the terrible news that their parents were gone…this family was sticking together.
Adam had put aside his own dreams for them and Daniel wondered if he was in the same situation, would he have been able to do the same. Sometimes he wasn't sure and the guilt ate away at him.
A hand rest on the back of his hair and a voice interrupted his thoughts, "Daniel, you okay?"
For a moment, caught between memories and reality, Daniel could swear it was one of his brothers asking until he turned around to see Joe, his manager, standing behind him.
Gripping Daniel's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze before coming around to sit down in front, Joe's voice sounded concerned, "You should be trying to get some rest."
Daniel let out a soft chuckle. The question reminded him of his brothers too.
"No, everything's okay, just too hopped up to sleep." Daniel confessed, straightening up and setting his guitar down.
The man who would have been about the same age as his Dad gave a knowing nod as he stood up, "I'll make you some cocoa."
The smile on Daniel's face widened to reach his eyes, "Thanks, Joe."
Cocoa. Not that Daniel would have wanted a real drink anyways. Watching the toll hard liquor had taken on his fellow songwriter Stormy Weathers' career was enough of a deterrent, not to mention the fact that Adam had been pretty adamant about Daniel being underage as far as alcohol was concerned. Beer at home had been fine at fourteen but Adam didn't want Daniel anywhere near it on the road.
Having three older brothers meant Daniel was used to being watched over and he didn't mind, plus he was pretty sure Joe was the only reason Adam had consented to him leaving home for a life on the road in the first place.
The benevolent and trustworthy manager had come into Daniel's life at the right time.
It had been five months after his failed audition with Jimmy Travello. Daniel's band was playing at the Timber Tavern when a casting agent happened to be having a late supper there and caught the first set. The agent was with a film crew shooting a TV pilot in Sonora. He gave Daniel a card and offered him a walk-on part that night.
The role was small but it was enough to get him noticed. Couple of months later, the same agent asked Daniel to come down to LA to read for a film. To everyone's surprise, including his own, Daniel was cast. The movie did moderately well at the box office, but Daniel's big break came when he was offered the lead vocals on the title song for the picture.
By the time the movie was released nationwide, the song was hitting the top of the Billboard charts, and the rest as they say, was history.
It wasn't at all the way Daniel thought he would get his big break but there it was.
Calls from multiple agencies starting coming in, vying to represent the rising young star People Magazine labelled 'One to watch'.
One of those calls came from a man named Vern, the head of Joe's company.
Vern was smart, and slick, and had a track record for producing talent but Adam didn't like the way he sounded. It was Joe, in his fifties, a small town guy himself, who had come in person to the ranch. He made enough of an impression for Adam to agree to another meeting to discuss signing a contract.
With everyone back a second time in their living room, Adam and Brian did most of the talking.
Crane had been his usual reticent self, sitting in an armchair across from Daniel, holding the contract in his hands with his glasses perched on his nose. He didn't say a thing until Adam had finally asked, "What do you think, Crane?"
Daniel still remembered all eyes falling onto his lanky brother.
"The agreement looks fair but as far as signing goes…" Crane had quietly answered, setting the contract down and turning his eyes to Daniel, "…I think there's only one person in this room we should be asking."
It was a decision Daniel had made years ago but it still didn't make it any easier. He had suddenly felt scared especially when he saw the same fear reflected in all his big brothers' eyes looking back at him.
He was leaving them…he was leaving home.
"Daniel?" Joe cut into his thoughts again, holding out a steaming cup, and a sly smile, "Mail's here."
Quickly accepting and putting the hot cocoa down, Daniel eagerly reached for the letter in Joe's other hand.
It was a big fat envelope with Guthrie's handwriting scrawled on it. Without fail, his fifteen year old brother sent monthly letters detailing the comings and goings of the ranch. Sometimes it took a while for Guthrie's letters to catch up on tour but Daniel always looked forward to receiving them.
He eagerly ripped open the envelope and from its pages fell a newspaper clipping. Picking it up he smiled immediately at the headline. It was a story about the new rodeo star on the PRC, Evan McFadden. It was complete with a picture of his grinning brother shaking the dust off his cowboy hat.
Joe took a glimpse, "Looks like there's going to be more than one star in the family."
Beaming with obvious pride Daniel smiled in agreement.
He was absorbed in Guthrie's letter when Sam, the driver, called from up front, "Hey Joey, Tommy wants to stop for gas. That okay?"
Daniel looked up as his manager leaned over him to check out the window for the other RV, "Sure, tell Tommy we'll pull over."
The buses slowed and Daniel put down the letter as they turned into the next gas station.
Looking out the window he could see the parking lot was empty except for a small lamppost lighting up a corner with a lone phone booth under it.
Glancing at his watch, Daniel realized on the other coast it wasn't too late. He sat up suddenly and grabbed onto the arm of his manager, "Hey Joe, you think the boys would mind waiting for me for a bit while I make a call? I won't take long."
The man chuckled and tilted his head, "Kiddo, your name is painted on the side of the bus. Think people will wait."
Daniel wasn't sure why, but he found himself blushing as he grabbed his jacket and hopped off the bus with Joe's deep chuckle following him out the door.
Crossing the shiny black pavement, Daniel made a straight line for the orange yellow light in the corner. Jumping over a crack in the pavement, he pushed open the phone booth door and reached into his pocket for the handful of quarters he always kept handy there.
Depositing the coins, he waited for the sound of them falling in before dialling the familiar number.
The number for home.
The arena was buzzing tonight.
Evan McFadden leaned out and lifted up his cowboy hat to get a better view. Upbeat music blared from the loud speakers and livestock paced anxiously in the pens. To his right, a group of all-girl trick riders in statin jumpsuits and fluttering flags rode out to warm up the crowds. It all looked promising but just under the glare of the flood lights Evan could see sheets of rain pouring down.
His shoulders slumped. A wet Saturday night at the rodeo.
In the grandstands, spectators filed into cushioned seats, arms loaded with warm nachos and sugar donuts and the comfort of a covered roof over their heads.
The people didn't care about the rain and for the moment neither did Evan. But the dark clouds rolling over the grey sky showed no signs of letting up and with bull riding up in the second half, eventually he would have to leave the comforts of the tent and ride for his eight seconds of glory.
It was getting colder out too and the damp weather was stiffening up some already sore joints. At least the ground was softer when it was wet, Evan thought to himself as he retreated back under the shelter.
"Hey McFadden, toss me the tape when you're done." Russ one of the other riders, yelled from a chair in the corner.
Wrapping his own sore elbow with one last turn and cutting the tape, Evan tossed the roll and grinned good-naturedly at his friend, "I think it's going to take a little more than some glue to keep you together." At thirty two, Russ was a veteran on the circuit with probably as many broken bones as he had lived years.
The lean cowboy laughed and grunted as he reached down for the tape that had missed its mark and fallen to the ground, "Too damn old for this."
Russ was a good guy. He had been a mentor of sorts for Evan, taking him under his wings last season, Evan's rookie year on the circuit. This year, defying the sophomore jinx, Evan had started making a name for himself, winning enough to earn what he thought in his mind was respect from his brothers Adam and Brian. He wanted them to see he was serious about making a go of being a professional rodeo rider and could actually do it.
Then five months ago he had a bad spill off a bronc that landed him in surgery, rehab and a whole lot of time to think. Back on the circuit only a month ago, Evan had a pin in his arm along with a healthier respect for how tough and short a career on the PRC could be. Russ had sat down with him to have that talk more than once. He took it better from the seasoned cowboy than he did from his older brothers but Evan loved it too much to give up, at least for now. It was what he wanted to do, but he was starting to understand what Adam and Crane were trying to pound into his head about thinking about his future.
He was never going to university like Crane and Ford but he had picked up brochures for the community college in Stockton when he was home. He also had an interesting conversation with a stunt double when he went to LA to visit Daniel on his movie set. The man had given Evan his number and said they were always looking for riders for Westerns. Apparently a ton of actors cast in those movies had no horse riding experience whatsoever. The day Evan had been there, they were shooting a scene on horseback and Daniel was the only one that even remotely looked like he knew what he was doing.
Evan planned to sit down in a couple of weeks over the holidays to discuss things with Adam. It was a Christmas present he was sure would please his oldest brother.
The rodeo girls riding out with the banners flew by again and a cute blonde caught Evan's eye but soon it was the music that had been in the background that made him smile.
It was the opening to Daniel's latest song 'Seven' with the catchy rock beat mixed with the country sounds that made his music so popular.
It was strange and good to hear the familiar voice while they were so far apart.
He was proud of his brother and this song. It was about them, their family. A lot of Daniel's songs on his second album were.
His first release, an emotional ballad titled, 'Not this Life' was a piece Evan was certain Daniel had written for Adam. It was a thinly disguised tribute to their oldest brother and what he had given up to keep them together.
Evan had been home for the weekend the first time they had played the advanced copy Daniel sent. Adam had sat tight jawed through the whole song and, when it finished he didn't say anything, just grabbed his hat and excused himself to check the stock. Hannah's eyes had been wet and Evan was pretty certain Adam's had been too.
Letting his brother's lyrics wash over him, Evan was suddenly filled with visions of warm couches by the fire and the familiar faces that sat around them, legs laid out over armrests and heads leaning back against wooden posts.
Glancing at his watch to see if he had time, Evan shouted out to the arena director, "Hey Pete! Can I use the phone in the office?"
The heavyset man with grey hair waved his hand, "Go ahead."
Throwing on a slicker, Evan ducked out into the rain holding onto his black Stetson. Sloshing across the muddy ground he made a straight line for the little trailer with the office phone while the last of his brother's song filled the air.
"Hey McFadden! It's Saturday night, live a little."
Looking up from his small wooden desk, Ford barely had time to open his mouth before the group knocking on his door disappeared as fast as they'd come.
It was his fifth interruption in the last hour alone.
Sighing, Ford ran his hands over his face to try and rub the stress from his eyes. The dim lighting from the ceiling was making him sleepy. No way he was going to get these chapters done before his roommate came back.
It wasn't helping matters that there was music blasting from a stereo next door and loud voices from the common room carried down the dorm hallway. It seemed like everyone on his floor was going out or in the process of going out. It was Saturday night after all.
With term exams only a couple of weeks away, Ford had no idea how some of the kids in his freshman class could even think about taking the night off. Maybe things were different for them. For Ford, there wasn't the luxury of failing. He couldn't let his family down. Adam and Brian were paying good money for him to go to Davis, money the ranch didn't have to spare. Daniel had offered to pay his tuition but even if Adam had accepted the offer, money wasn't the point. The point was his family was making sacrifices for him to be here and he couldn't take his education for granted.
"Ford?"
About to lose his patience and snap at the latest intrusion, Ford stopped short when he opened his eyes and realized it was Anne from his biology class standing in the doorway.
"Anne!" Ford stood up and felt his face flush when one of the girls behind her giggled. Why did girls do that, even at Davis, travel in packs and giggle?
Another girl whispered behind her hand loud enough for Ford to hear, "Who does that anymore, stand up when people walk in the room?"
Ignoring her friends, Anne coaxed, "Come on Ford, everyone has to let their hair down once in a while."
The petite sophomore with long dark curls was about the prettiest girl Ford had seen at Davis or anywhere for that matter, not that he'd been many places. Ford almost gave into temptation but resisted. "I really need to study."
Before Anne could answer, Ford's roommate Scott burst past them into the room with his girlfriend in tow. Smelling like booze, he gave Anne a glassy-eyed double look before motioning to Ford with his thumb, "M…McFad-den, out."
Everyone here called him McFadden. Growing up if someone at school used that name, either Daniel or Evan would always yell back, 'which one?''
Regretting the agreement he had made with his roommate to make himself scarce tonight, Ford gathered up his books and apologized to Anne, "Maybe next time, okay?"
She gave him a sweet smile, shrugged and walked away with her friends.
Practically pushing Ford out the door, Scott whispered, "Make it late, o'tay, chap?"
Chap? He preferred McFadden. The door slammed in his face.
Adjusting the load of books in his arms, Ford felt a weight settle on his shoulders as he moved past the various groups of laughing people in the hallway. He felt like a fish out of water here. He had never been at any school without at least one of his brothers being there too and he felt alone.
Crane had told him the first term freshman year was the hardest, getting past the first set of exams, and the stress of being away from home. He was right. Ford was really missing the ranch and his family. Even pitching hay sounded good right about now. It was too expensive and not practical to spend every weekend going back and forth but there were plenty of times he wanted to. He was really looking forward to the long Christmas break.
Ducking into the laundry room and finding it empty, Ford found a corner space and sat down on the cold floor. He pulled out his wallet and flipped it open to look at the picture of him and Cleo.
They had been together since high school. After graduation she had stayed in Murphys and went to work at her dad's supply store. A ring that Ford had bought with borrowed money from Evan was on her right hand. He had given it to Cleo before he left. Not an engagement ring, Adam would have had something to say about that, just a promise ring. He loved Cleo or at least he thought he did, but four years was a long time to wait and lately he found himself thinking about girls like Anne.
Opening up his books, Ford spotted a pile of old boxes sitting in the corner and seeing them suddenly reminded Ford of the day he'd moved in.
Homesick, he lingered over the memory.
Everyone made the drive, except for Hannah and Evan who was still recovering from his surgery. Ford insisted that was too many of them taking time away from the ranch, but he had the feeling they couldn't decide who should go. Even Daniel made the drive up from LA to join them.
Pulling up in his black jeep, his famous brother's arrival caused quite a scene. A bunch of sorority girls who had been looking too cool and aloof to notice the freshman arrivals, suddenly started screaming and running at Daniel before his cowboy boots even hit the pavement. The noise and commotion drew the attention of others and before long a growing crowd pressed in around their recognizable brother.
Between them, the three oldest siblings managed to extract Daniel from their midst only slightly disheveled. Guthrie was enjoying the excitement, and Adam and Brian looked mildly amused, but Crane's face was ashen. Ford knew Crane had been there in Chicago a year ago with Daniel when things after a concert had gotten out of control.
After a short discussion, they all agreed it was best for Daniel to meet them at a nearby restaurant after they were done unpacking. His fourth brother sounded genuinely apologetic and even a little upset as he gave Ford a hug and made a promise they would catch up later. Daniel kept saying how proud he was of Ford and how this was his day and he didn't want to spoil it. For the first time Ford was beginning to realize not everything about his big brother's rise to fame was all roses.
There was a time growing up that Ford thought he might want to follow in Daniel's footsteps and find a career in music but a few stomach churning performances quickly made him change his mind. Plus seeing Daniel's life exposed to the public, Ford knew he would never want to live in a fishbowl like that. Even the amount of attention they were drawing now was making him uncomfortable.
Unfortunately by the time they found his room, word was already out that he was Daniel McFadden's brother. People whispered and pointed. A group of girls lingered outside in the hallway so that Adam, Brian and Crane were forced to brush by apologizing and raising the heavy boxes above their heads.
Once they were inside the room they could still hear people talking outside.
"They don't look like Daniel do they? Not even each other really. Are you sure they're brothers?"
"I don't know, they all look alike to me… dreamy!" The last words almost drowned out by a rounds of giggles.
"The bearded one is so hot. Imagine if he was a professor here? I would just die."
Crane's face turned a bright shade of red as they listened. Brian mouthed back the word "professor", laughing and trying to kick out his lanky brother's knee.
Then one of the other girls piped up, "I don't know; tall, dark, and muscles is the one I would go for."
Then they all laughed at Brian's expense including Adam, while Guthrie pretended to flex his biceps.
Ford wasn't sure how he felt about his brothers being talked about like objects until a quieter voice said, "I don't know, I'm glad it's the blond one moving in. Roster says his name is Ford."
Ford was bracing himself for the mocking to turn his way when another girl saved him by saying, "Even the youngest one is a cutie."
"Evelyn!" her friends shouted in shock. "He's like twelve! You could go to jail for saying that!"
Guthrie was actually fifteen but still baby-faced. The look of shock on his face had all the brothers in silent fits before they descended on him in a good natured pile-up on Ford's new bed.
They managed to not only bury their baby brother but also the apprehension of leaving home for Ford.
It was an image that made him smile even now as he thought of it.
His family meant so much to him.
Reaching into the other side of his wallet for the calling card Adam gave him, Ford unfolded himself from the floor and made his way out of the laundry room. He rounded the corner past a large group playing a drinking game to the phone stalls by the elevator.
Sunday was the day he usually called but hopefully they were still up.
Closing the door on an empty booth, Ford dialed the long series of numbers.
Muffled sounds of the party outside buzzed against the glass doors but Ford felt some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he tried to focus on each ring.
Closing his eyes he waited for a familiar voice to answer the phone.
The house was quiet tonight except for the ticking of the old clock on the mantel of the fireplace. A glow from the back porch streaked in through the dark bay windows casting a soft light on the wooden floor of the large kitchen. No one else was around and the click as Adam put the phone back in its cradle, echoed in the empty spaces.
There was a time when he couldn't even hear himself think there was so much noise around. Now the silence almost seemed heavy.
When he was eighteen, Adam thought it would take forever and that his own life would pass him by before his little brothers were old enough to take care of themselves. Now most of them were out of the house and he finally understood what one of the ladies at the church meant when she said The days may seem long Adam but, trust me, time will fly.
Sighing, he walked out of the kitchen, savoring the phone calls tonight. It was so good to hear their voices. He missed them filling the house.
Minus holidays and the occasional visits, Daniel had been away from home for almost three years now and was either on tour or in recording studios. Evan was in his second year on the PRC and travelled to rodeos for a good portion of the time. When he did stop in at the ranch, it was only for a few weekends here and there to help out with round up or when they needed him for something else. Ford was eighteen and studying at Crane's alma mater UC Davis. It had only been a couple of months but already to Adam, it felt like he'd been gone for a long time.
All three of them calling tonight was a pleasant surprise.
Moving into the living room, Adam noticed that Brian had left his jacket over one of the armchairs. Despite working together all day they rarely had time to sit down in the evenings to talk anymore. Adam was looking forward to their dinner together next week.
Brian and Pamela, his wife of two years, lived on the south end of the property now in a small house he built with Adam and Crane's help. It was close enough to the big house for them to go back and forth and run the ranch together but afforded the young couple some privacy.
Adam was happy for them.
It surprised everyone when Brian courted, fell in love with, and settled down with the pretty young nurse. Even more so when he became the first McFadden brother to become a father in the traditional sense when three months ago Katherine Grace McFadden had come into the world, the first female McFadden born in three generations.
Putting Brian's jacket up on the coat rack with his, Adam grinned at the memory of his second brother flushed with pride and joy when he stepped out into the waiting room to announce to the full house that it was a baby girl.
"What do I do with a girl?" Brian looked out at them with teary eyes.
"What you'd do with a boy," Hannah answered affectionately hugging him, "Love her."
"Who would have thought, Brian has a daughter?" Guthrie laughed, "What should we call her?"
"Bet a bunch of heart-broken women would call her poetic justice." Crane teased, but the big smile on his face and the warm embrace he gave spoke of his true affection for his brother and his new niece.
It had been a special day for all of them.
Climbing up the long stairway, Adam stopped at the top and looked down the hallway at the open dark rooms. Guthrie was the only little brother left at home now and even he was away sleeping at a friend's tonight. Crane was still technically living at the ranch but he was on a plane at the moment to Philadelphia.
He was going to visit Molly and surprise Daniel.
The young couple's long distance relationship had survived the three years of Molly's internship in equine surgery at Penn State. Upset at first, Crane finally decided to use the time to take correspondence courses from USC in hopes of getting his accounting degree to better handle the ranch's finances, not to mention Daniel's. With both of them finished soon, Adam was pretty sure Crane was going to propose. In the meantime, a visit to see her coincided nicely with being able to attend a show in Philadelphia on Daniel's latest tour. Something Adam knew would do the both of them some good. The absence of Molly and Daniel at the same time was harder on Crane than his quiet brother was willing to admit.
Stopping in the doorways of their old rooms, Adam thought about his brothers that had called tonight.
They sounded so young on the phone. University students or big stars, they were and always would be his little brothers and he couldn't help but worry about them.
Being so far away, he couldn't watch out for them. Not that he expected all of his brothers to stay forever. He'd been ready himself at eighteen to leave the dust of their small town behind as soon as his high school commencement was done. It just seemed different now that it was the younger boys leaving home.
Adam wondered where their lives would take them.
Ford had picked Davis, a place he was familiar with, but it took a lot of courage for Adam's introverted young brother to leave home. Things had been less scary and unknown compared to when they sent Crane off but Adam still had that same empty pit in his stomach leaving Ford there. At least it was only for school. In his heart he felt Ford would come back home again like Crane.
Evan and Daniel were different stories. Those two had put more gray hairs on his head growing up than the rest of the brothers combined. Probably always would. Guthrie had a way of finding trouble too but at least Adam had a few more years to keep a close eye on him.
Evan's recent accident had done little to squelch his enthusiasm for getting thrown off a bull night after night and Adam had a feeling even if Evan did leave the PRC he would go looking for something else just as thrill seeking. Evan had said something in his conversation tonight about sitting down for a talk? Adam wasn't sure he was too happy about his little brother's career choice but at least he understood the world of rodeos and cowboys.
Daniel's life of rock and roll and Hollywood he knew nothing about and that scared Adam. His brother worked hard for his dreams and Adam was proud of him, but there were temptations and pressures to Daniel's new life that Adam was just beginning to see. A lot of people, ones that Adam didn't trust, wanted a piece of the charismatic face they saw on the cover of those magazines. They didn't see or care about the vulnerable little boy that Adam knew. There were times he wanted to reach through the phone or TV screen and tell his little brother to come home.
Like tonight. After hearing how tired Daniel sounded, Adam was glad Crane was on his way there.
Turning off the hallway lights, Adam thought about his parents. He wondered how different life would be if they had been here tonight to answer the phone instead of him? He wished they had lived to see Daniel and Evan's success and Ford and Crane with University degrees and probably someday Guthrie. He wished they had been there in the waiting room to hold Brian's baby and someday his.
There was so much they had missed. He hoped he had done right by them.
There were times when he doubted if he was the person to give his little brothers what they needed. He wondered if he had made the right choice keeping them all together, especially when people like Tom and Carey Barrett had offered to take the younger boys.
Adam quietly opened the door to his bedroom. He took off his boots and sat gently down on the bed careful not to wake a sleeping Hannah as the mattress took his weight. He watched his wife in the soft moonlight streaming in through the open lace curtains. Her dark curls were spread on the pillow and her hand was resting even in sleep on her just swelling belly. It had been a journey full of frustration and tears but Hannah was finally five months pregnant.
God he loved this woman. She was an anchor and a refuge for him. How in the world he convinced her to stay even after finding out about the brood of brothers living with him, he'd never know.
Watching her sleep, Adam felt some of his previous doubts dissipate away. He was starting a family and had made a home with her but he had already created one with his brothers.
A place where they would always belong, he hoped his brothers knew that.
Curling his body around Hannah's and covering her hand with his, Adam felt a sense of peace fall over him. He couldn't imagine his life any different.
He played over in his mind the last of his conversation with Daniel and it warmed his heart.
"Daniel, you okay?"
"You sound just like Crane."
"That's because he worries about you. We all do."
"I know. I'm all right. Just tired."
"Anytime you want to take a break you can, you know that right?"
"I do."
"Okay then, we want you home for Christmas, you hear?"
Daniel let out a soft chuckle, "Okay, Dad."
The line went quiet for a moment.
Daniel spoke up first. "Adam?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For always being there…and, Adam?"
"Uh huh."
"I love you."
The older brother let a smile rest on his lips and in his heart. The big rock star was still his affectionate little brother. He closed his eyes to let his own words reach out to the both of them.
"I love you too, Danny. I love you too."
Crossing the parking lot back to his waiting RV Daniel felt his steps were lighter and somehow even the dim lamp seemed brighter.
Couple of weeks and he would fly back for Christmas.
Lifting his face up, Daniel could see small flakes of the rain turning into snow falling gently down.
No matter where they all were, they were together under one sky. Nothing could ever change that.
There would always be a place where he was loved and safe.
A place he could call home.
.
The End