RULES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN
By Carla Keehn
This story is written for entertainment purposes only, not profit, and is not meant to infringe on any copyrights.
* * * *
Head Nurse Dixie McCall reached up and gently took the man's arm. "Let's us
go get a cup of coffee too, huh?"
Paramedic Roy DeSoto had heard her say those words a thousand times before to the family members and friends of the victims that he and his partner, John Gage, had brought into Rampart's emergency room. He still couldn't believe that he was standing there hearing McCall say those exact same words to him now. It was just an ordinary run . . . he thought, as his dazed mind wandered over the events of the afternoon, except at the end . . .
DeSoto felt numb inside. It had been less than an hour since Gage had been bitten by the rattlesnake and the venom was already affecting him. The worried man tried to convince himself that everything that had happened was just a bad dream. But the painful image of his unconscious partner, the stethoscope still dangling loosely around his neck, being wheeled into the emergency room had been too firmly etched into Roy's memory for that to work.
Twenty minutes before we find out if Johnny can take the antivenom . . .
He followed McCall through the busy corridor towards the staff lounge. Twenty more minutes . . .
McCall pushed the lounge door open a crack and looked in. Empty . . . she thought with relief. The look she saw on DeSoto's face troubled her: Dixie felt that she had to get him away from what was going on in Treatment Room 3 to someplace private where they could talk. The door opened the rest of the way and the head nurse walked over to the small kitchen area.
Roy slumped down in one of the chairs. It was a relief to be away from Chet and the rest of the guys. Deep down inside, he knew he wasn't fooling anyone but, at least for a few minutes, he didn't have to pretend to be emotionally detached from what was happening. DeSoto watched as McCall picked up the coffee pot and poured the steaming liquid into two mugs. It's always business as usual with Dix, even at a time like this, he thought.
The woman turned and first set one of the mugs down in front of Roy before taking the other cup and sliding into the seat across from the older paramedic. She took a sip from her cup and looked at DeSoto thoughtfully for a moment. "Well, today must be my lucky day," she said lightly, "the coffee's fresh for a change . . ."
Roy looked at her blankly for minute. "Huh?" He roused himself from his lethargy. "I'm sorry, Dix, my mind was somewhere else."
"I'm sure it is," she replied. McCall leaned forward and placed her hand over Roy's comfortingly. "Roy, listen to me. You can't blame yourself for what happened - -you were where you needed to be."
"That's what my head keeps trying to tell me, but . . . well, the rest of me isn't buying it." Roy looked at her intently, his blue eyes filled with worry. "I don't expect you to understand, Dix . . ."
"Try me," she urged. "I might understand more than you think."
DeSoto took a sip of his coffee and made a face as he swallowed the strong brew. He appreciated what McCall was trying to do but how could he make her or anyone else understand his failure?
"Johnny's my partner - partners are supposed to look out for each other. And I wasn't there to do that, not when it counted the most."
"I think that you're being too hard on yourself, Roy. We've all been where you are now, at one time or another."
"I wish I could believe that . . ."
Dixie looked at the paramedic sympathetically. "You know, Roy, what we do here at the hospital and what you and Johnny do out in the field reminds me of walking a tightrope in the circus. From our first moment on the job, we're taught not to think, not to feel, just to follow procedures and regulations. But, let's face it, Roy. When it comes right down to it, it can't be that way all the time - - we're all human. And it can't be that way when, most of the time, the very people we're trying to help are the ones fighting against us the hardest. I doubt that any of us would last long under those conditions if we didn't allow ourselves to care about the people we work closest with."
Roy stayed silent as he thought carefully about what Dixie had just said.
Dixie gave DeSoto's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Roy, you can't blame yourself for what happened to Johnny and you certainly can't blame yourself for falling off that tightrope every now and then. Like I said before, we've all been there."
DeSoto managed a weak smile. "Rules were made to be broken, is that what you're trying to say, Dix?"
"In a way, yes." She gave him a mock look of disapproval. "But if you ever tell any of the other guys I said that, I'll deny it."
"It'll be our secret." He glanced at his watch anxiously. "It's time," Roy said reluctantly as he pushed his cup away. "You know, I'm kind of afraid to go back and find out what's happening . . ."
"I don't think we should give up on Johnny so quickly," McCall said kindly, as she rose from her seat. "C'mon, Roy . . ."
When they got back to the treatment room, Chet was already there, hovering near Brackett's shoulder as the doctor examined the results of Gage's skin test.
Chet's still here - - Brackett must be really worried too, not to have asked him to leave the room . . .
Roy thought as he tried to find a place to stand where he wouldn't be in the way. He had worked with the doctor long enough to know that Brackett didn't like for anyone, except the paramedics and hospital staff, to be hanging around the treatment room when he examined a patient."No reaction," Brackett said, with a satisfied nod. He looked up at the nurse. "Carol, start the antivenom - - IV - - ten vials to start with - -"
Chet looked at Brackett in surprise. "Does that mean he's gonna be all right?"
"I'd say he's got an excellent chance right now," Brackett replied.
"I think I'm gonna go tell the other guys," Chet said eagerly.
As Kelly slipped out of the treatment room, Dixie walked over to DeSoto and looked at him warmly. "I didn't realize how fond he was of Johnny."
Roy felt like a big weight had been lifted from his chest. His face broke into a smile. "I don't think Chet did either."
McCall moved away to assist Brackett as the doctor supervised the administration of the antivenom.
Roy watched silently as they worked then, reluctantly, he decided it was time for him to catch up with Chet and the others. DeSoto walked towards the treatment room door then hesitated. He looked back at Johnny one last time.
At that moment Dixie glanced up. The relief that had flooded into DeSoto's face disappeared and was momentarily replaced by the anxious expression that he wore earlier. Although Johnny was out of danger, Roy was still reeling emotionally from the day's events.
"Roy?" Dixie said, swiftly moving to the door and taking DeSoto's arm. "You going somewhere?"
"Uh, I was just gonna catch up with Chet and the others."
"Why don't you stick around for a while. Kel might want to talk to you later."
Roy looked confused. "Sure, Dix, I guess I can do that. I'll have to run it by Cap, but I don't think he'll mind."
There was a mischievous gleam in Dixie's eyes. "Good."
For a moment, Roy wondered if she was up to something. Then he quickly dismissed the idea deciding that the mental fatigue he felt was causing his mind to play tricks on him.
Dixie watched Roy leave then turned to the man standing next to her. "Kel?"
"Hmm?" Brackett muttered, adjusting the drip on the IV. "You say something, Dix?"
"How soon do you think it'll be before Johnny is moved upstairs?"
"Oh, about a half hour, maybe . . ." He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I can tell by that look on your face that you've got something on your mind, so give, Dix."
"I was just wondering how soon Johnny could have visitors."
"Visitors?" He furrowed his brow. "Right now I'd say tomorrow afternoon, sometime, at the earliest, why?"
Meanwhile, DeSoto took a seat in the waiting area. The afternoon rush had slowed down and by the time Cap came by about fifteen minutes later, Roy was the only one there.
"Hey, Cap," Roy greeted.
"Roy, we got a call so we're gonna have to take off, but I wanted to check in with you."
"You need me, Cap?" DeSoto said, rising to his feet.
"No, Squad 36 is responding with us." Cap looked at him with concerned eyes. "You okay, pal?"
"Yeah, I think so, Cap. I'm gonna leave just as soon as they move Johnny upstairs."
"Okay - -we'll meet you back at the station. Dwyer's coming in to take Gage's place for the rest of the shift."
After Stanley had left, the gnawing in Roy's stomach reminded him that it had been a long time since breakfast. He went to the hospital cafeteria and got something to eat. When he returned to the waiting area, he found Dixie waiting for him.
"I was afraid you had left," she said.
"No, I just went to grab a bite to eat. Is Johnny okay?"
She smiled at him warmly. "I thought that maybe you'd like to find that out for yourself." Dixie crooked her head towards the elevator. "Come with me . . ."
It was a short ride to the second floor of the massive hospital. Roy followed Dixie out of the elevator and down one of the corridors. With the hospital visiting hours officially over, it was quiet and the two didn't pass many people as they walked.
The woman finally stopped in front of one of the rooms. "I had a hard time getting Kel to agree to this, so I can only give you a couple of minutes." Dixie pushed the door open and motioned for DeSoto to go in.
"I guess if we're gonna break the rules, we might as well break'em all, eh, Dix?" Roy said in a low voice as he walked past her. DeSoto stepped into the room and hesitated at the foot of the bed.
Gage was still unconscious, but it was obvious that the IV was doing its work. Roy thought that Johnny's face didn't look nearly as drawn and the color was starting to come back into it.
He really is gonna be okay . . .
DeSoto started towards the door and almost jumped when a soft voice called to him."Roy . . ."
He turned and saw his partner flash a weak grin at him. Roy let out a deep breath. "I was beginning to think I was gonna have to break in a new partner."
Gage shook his head. "Don't count on it . . ."
Roy knew that taking risks was part of a paramedic's job, but this was one afternoon he didn't care to have to live through again for a long time. DeSoto peered through the small window above the door: through the glass he saw McCall glance at her watch.
"Dix had a hard time getting me in here, so I'd better go - I'll come back tomorrow during regular visiting hours."
"S-sure," Johnny slurred. "feel . . . kinda sleepy . . ."
"Get some rest, okay?"
"Yeah . . ."
Dixie stopped pacing and looked up as DeSoto came through the door. "What do you think?"
"I think," Roy replied, "that I'll take my chances walking that tightrope we talked about. I don't think I could handle the job any other way, Dix."
"Well, if it's any consolation to you, Roy, we all feel the same way." She linked her arm through his. "Now, how about we get out of here and go someplace where we can get a decent cup of coffee . . ."
The next afternoon, Roy saw Dixie at the base station doing paperwork as he and Chet came around the corner.
"Hi, Dix," Roy said. Even though his sleep had been interrupted a couple of times the night before with several calls, he still felt good. He hadn't minded finishing out their shift with Dwyer. But, as far as Roy was concerned, he knew that he and Johnny were the perfect match as partners, anxious moments and all.
Dixie put her pencil down and looked up from the chart. "Ah, you guys here to see our star patient?"
"Yep, how's he doing?"
"Well he's getting his strength back. We may have to release him pretty soon or tie him down."
Chet looked serious. "You know, I had this lousy feeling yesterday that he wasn't going to make it."
"You were really concerned," Dix commented.
Roy knew that Chet didn't like for anyone to make a big deal bout his feelings. "Well, you'd better not tell Johnny that - - its gonna ruin their relationship."
The old Chet had returned. "What relationship?" He bristled. "I just didn't want to have to break in a new pigeon."
"See what I mean?" Roy commented, exchanging an amused look with McCall.
"He's in 205," Dixie murmured, pointing towards the elevator. She gave Chet a smile
before turning her attention back to her work.
Johnny's voice drifted out into the corridor as they stopped outside his door.
"Now, look, be sure and come back now because it was after the snakebite that things really got dangerous . . ."
"It's gotta be a nurse," Roy said commented to the man beside him.
Chet readily agreed. "Has to be."
The young nurse slipped past them as DeSoto and Kelly entered the room.
"Hi, Johnny." Roy said.
"Hey!" Gage replied in a pleased voice. He hated being cooped up in the hospital more than anything else. "How are you guys doing?"
"Well we were just about to ask you that same question," Roy replied.
"Listen, I'm doin' all right, doin' all right." Johnny said, shifting restlessly. "I just hope
they let me out of here pretty quick."
"Oh, no hurry, John," Chet said, throwing out the bait. "We could use the peace and
quiet around the station for a change."
Gage made a face. "Chet, the only way that station's ever gonna be quiet is if you get terminal laryngitis."
Roy looked on in amusement as the two bantered back and forth. "Hey, be careful or you guys won't have anything left to discuss once you get back to the station."
"We don't have anything to discuss now," Chet replied, a note of finality in his voice.
It was time to change the subject. "Listen," Roy began, "how did it feel to treat yourself in the field?"
"I'm glad you asked that!" Johnny said, eagerly. "Well, outside of the fact that my bedside manner was a little lacking, I started a perfect IV, even though the patient was a little squeamish."
"A little squeamish?" Chet retorted.
Just then the door opened. Roy looked up and saw Dixie standing in the doorway.
"Johnny?"
"Yes?" Gage replied expectantly.
"You have another visitor," Dixie continued.
"Oh yeah?" The more visitors the better, as far as he was concerned.
"Yes," Dixie said, cheerfully, "a very avid admirer . . ." She opened the door wider and led Ozella Peterson into the room.
"Hello, boys," the grandmotherly lady said.
"Well, hello, Mrs. Peterson," Johnny looked surprised.
"Your probably wondering what I'm doing in LA." She paused for a moment. "Well, my sister lives here and while I was in the area I thought I'd bring you some of my famous cookies. They're a great favorite at the church bazaar you know." She looked at Johnny with sympathetic eyes. "Of course, I didn't know of your misfortune until I called the fire station . . ."
"Oh, I'm much better now," Johnny protested. "I'm sure those cookies are gonna make me feel even better."
The woman handed the box of cookies to Johnny. After opening the box, Gage and DeSoto began enjoying the homemade cookies inside.
"Delicious . . ." Johnny murmured.
Roy glanced up. Chet had a disappointed expression on his face. "Oh," he said to the woman, "you remember Chet Kelly, don't you?"
Ozella Peterson looked at Chet and frowned. "No . . . not really."
Roy continued. "He arrived at the hospital a little later on."
"After," Johnny added, "all the work was done."
"Oh, yes," the woman finally said, still obviously straining to place Chet's face. "I seem
to remember there was someone else . . ." She gave Gage and DeSoto a motherly
smile. "Well, I'd better be running along. Good luck, boys."
"Thank you very much for the cookies," Johnny gushed. "Bye, bye, Mrs. Peterson."
Johnny and Roy continued to eat as they watched the woman leave.
"Wonderful lady," Johnny said appreciatively. He glanced over and saw that Kelly was slyly eyeing the box of cookies. "Hey, want a cookie, Chet?"
"No thanks," Chet said in a flat voice.
"Oh, come on . . ." Gage prodded.
Chet stared at the two paramedics. Roy thought that he seemed really hurt.
"She didn't even remember me . . ."
"But I do and that's what really counts." Johnny offered the box to Chet. "Now have a cookie."
Chet finally took a cookie out of the box. He glanced at it warily. "What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing's wrong with it!" Johnny sputtered.
Chet took a bite, then thought for a minute. "Um, fair . . ."
"He's all heart . . ." Gage muttered under his breath to his partner in disgust.
All in all, Roy thought, the normal order of things had been restored pretty quickly. And that suited Roy just fine. He knew he could handle falling off that tightrope every now and then - - as long as it didn't happen too often - -
The End