AN/ This might be leading up to a full story so look out for it.
Disclaimer: I disclaim every bit of Prince of Tennis.
I don't know where we are going. We are just moving; one way or the other. It doesn't matter. Nothing does. It's just us, our feet slapping the pavement in a dance, our harsh breath; the feeling that nothing else compares to this moment.
We don't take score. This isn't a game. Tennis has always been something special; something that fills me. But this match, this opponent is more than that. It's just further.
We play until my arms feel like lead. He's stronger – always has been, my brother – but when I miss a painfully slow ball it's over.
But it's not.
He walks away and gestures for me to follow. I do. Why not? I have no idea what this is leading to; that this moment is the defining one in my life; that I am fast approaching the point of no return.
He takes me to the hill. We lean against the white picket fence and the ocean is mere inches from our feet. It is blue and shines like gold. Like his eyes, and like mine. We lie on our backs and take in the other expanse of blue, this one larger than even the ocean, but never as deep: the sky. He eats an orange. I think of a question.
'Did you miss us?'
He pauses mid bite, just for an instant, and then continues on. When the fruit is good and swallows he says. 'I missed you.'
'Hm.' I'm young but not stupid. I have ears and the thin walls don't keep the screaming matches away. Usually Mom wins but seeing the artful way Ryoga twists a tennis match I find it hard to think he can loose in any other kind of match. It's stupid but it doesn't stop me from thinking it.
As I am consumed by my thoughts my brother is not so burdened. 'Come on, Chibisuke. Let's go swimming.'
It is the first time he has ever actually asked me to go any where with him. He uses motions all the time but mainly he just expects me to follow. I do. I guess it is part of being the little brother. We strip until we are only in our boxers – excluding my hat. He dives fist and it is graceful. Just a little splash and he stays underwater for so long. I jump in after; a cannon ball. Water goes everywhere. Just as he surfaces he gets load of water right across the face. I get a scowl in return.
We wrestle in the water. He's bigger and faster but I am good at getting loose. Eventually though tradition comes true and little bother looses to big. We tread water to stay up but he is hanging on me making it difficult. I never give and he doesn't let go. It goes on.
It feels so good so . . . normal having Ryoga around. I haven't seen him in half a year and I bet Mom doesn't even know he is here. He always come back, he phones and rights letters, but they are for me; just like he missed me.
'I missed you.' It just slips but I don't regret it. He laughs. I can feel in where my back is against his chest. His chin is on my shoulder. He is using me as a prop the lazy ass.
'You had better.' He says and I can feel his smirk.
He is heavy. I'm still tired from our match. My legs and arms are beginning to burn. I'm suddenly aware that the moment we get out of the water. When we climb back the trail and go back to the house that every one else will be there. Mom will be there. There will be fight, I know, and he will leave. I'm not ready for that. I don't want him to go again. I ignore the burn.
'Where were you?' I ask.
He shrugs. 'Traveled a lot. Went down to Mexico a couple times – I told you about it on the phone right?'
'Uh-huh.'
'Oh, well that's it mostly. Hung out with some cool guys and played some tennis. They sucked.' I know the feeling.
'Ever find the grand dream yet?' It is an on going thing between him and Dad and I'm just the go between. Ryoga and Dad don't fight like Mom and him do but it got really awkward after he left all those years ago. Just how long has it been? It is hard to remember a time before his constant coming and goings. I was young and memories get fuzzy over time.
I feel him stiffen but he chuckles. 'No, not yet, but I'm getting closer!' He steals my cap and dunks me under water all in one swift moment. Salt water stings and I come up sputtering. He is laughing and swimming out of reach. There is no way I'm going to let that happen. I don't realize he has lead me to the shore under he is feet away from the dangling ladder going up the cliff. I panic.
'Wait!' I shout. He thinks I'm working on a poor ploy and laughs. His hands are on the first rung and his body is coming out of the water quickly. 'Really, wait!' I kick harder and I'm now chasing him up the ladder. He is like a squirrel but I some how manage to catch his foot. He falters, almost slips, and looks down at me. His smile falters when he looks at me. The irrational desperation I feel must be clear on my face.
'Chibisuke . . . ' I cut him off.
'Wait! Just wait!' I shout hysterically. What am I doing? There is water on my face not from the ocean. I refuse to believe I am crying. He climbs down the ladder until our feet are on the same rung. He embraces me in an awkward hug and I feel heat in my cheeks.
'Sorry.' I tell him and swipe furiously at my eyes.
'Ryoma.' It is the first time he has ever called me anything but Chibisuke. I'm surprised – shocked – and if he hadn't of been holding me there I might have fallen back into the sea. 'What did I do?' He asks it right into my ear. The hairs on my neck stand straight.
I shake my head pitifully. You would think that I, Ryoma Echizen, the boy with little to no feelings would be able to go through this without a break down. That might have been what I wanted to think. Why I tried so hard not to care. But it was out now so I might as well let it all go. It couldn't get any more embarrassing.
'It's what you are going to do.' I mumble.
He sighs. 'Dammit you're right. I promise I won't go in there and start a big fight, alright? In fact, I should just leave now.'
'No!' It is instant. I let go of the ladder and wrap my arms around his waist. He struggles with the new weight but I'm not afraid of falling. I'm afraid of going up.
'What the hell – Ryoma!?' he hisses obviously having a hard time supporting us both. Why can't he just let go and let us fall back again? Why is he fighting this?
I really am crying this time. Tears, snot, and shoulder spazzing. I don't let go when he slowly begins to drag us up the ladder. I get louder. It is hard for him to get our combined weight on to the cliff but he does it. When it is over he is on his back panting and I'm curled onto his chest sobbing. I think he finally hears my babbling because he freezes.
'Ryoma I can't stay.' He says and I make a horrible noise because I know that he can. He could if he really wanted to. He wasn't kicked out, he ran away.
'You can.' I manage to say. The tears are easing. Welcome back to reality Ryoma. Crying doesn't solve problems it just makes you weak. Before he can argue with me I add the truth. 'But I know you won't.'
He tries. 'I'll call you every day. I'll get a cell phone and send postcards and . . .' He will but it isn't enough.
'I'll miss you.' I say. 'I love you.' He hesitates.
'I do too. More than you know, but . . . '
I lean down. He meets me half way. We kiss.