A/N: Welcome one and all to one of the silliest fics you'll ever read! Okay, it might not be that bad. You'll have to see for yourself. In case you're confused, the gimmick here is Lucas' alternate outfits/colors having personalities all their own. Hee, this is going to be fun~ WARNINGS: Hetero- and homosexuality, crack and (basically) canon pairings, frequent OOC moments for our dear Lucas and perhaps others, mild cursing, and lulz. If you can handle all that, then welcome to the mansion! On behalf of everyone here, I hope you enjoy your stay. :B DISCLAIMER: I own nothing here except maybe the (lack of) plot.
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Lucas yawned, rolling out from under his covers and onto the floor with a soft FLUMP. Sitting upright and rubbing his eyes in an attempt to ward off his sleepiness, he threw the nearest thing he could reach from the floor up to the top bunk in order to wake Ness, his roommate, because Lord knows a simple 'time to wake up, Ness' never works. This item happened to be a Wiimote; it flew up and hit Ness right on the noggin, eliciting a sharp yelp and flailing of the arms on the dark-haired boy's part.
He sat bolt upright, holding his head and eyes scanning the area quickly for any signs of danger. But all he saw was Lucas picking himself up off the floor and giving him a rather tired smirk. "Good morning, Ness," he said, as if there was nothing wrong with this picture.
Ness stifled a groan. "Lucas," he began, making his way to the ladder on the side of their collective beds, hand never leaving his head of messy black hair. "I told you to just come up and tickle me awake or something. You don't have to give me a concussion every time!"
"Sorry," Lucas conceded, though his tone wasn't the least bit resentful.
The two got dressed in a more or less amiable silence. Ness' morning ritual was very simple; shed the pajamas, pull on the nearest articles of clothing that smelled somewhat decent, grab his trusty hat, bat and backpack, and he was done. Lucas was a bit more complex. He spent at least five minutes in the bathroom fiddling with his thick blonde hair before he so much as thought about getting dressed. Good thing all Ness' clothes were in the dresser out in the living area. The dark-haired boy didn't understand why Lucas even bothered with his hair; it always flipped up like an ice cream cone no matter how much gel he put in it.
Ness grew tired of waiting for his friend, who hadn't even figured out what he was going to wear yet. "Lucas, I'll wait in the hall. Take more than ten minutes and I'm leaving you!" he yelled through the bathroom door as he walked away, rolling his eyes at the blonde's goofy "Kay!" as he left.
Lucas stood in front of the mirror in said bathroom, frowning at his hair. He could never get it to do anything besides that trademark little flip. Sighing, he turned around and slid the little door that sat there open, revealing a small built-in closet housing all the boy's clothes. Pushing hangers aside and evaluating his options, he selected a clean pair of denim shorts from the small stack to the right. But what to wear shirt-wise? He saw that he had quite a few clean shirts to choose from: a teal and yellow striped shirt (which came with a painful pang to the chest upon sight), a two-tone red striped shirt, a two-tone purple striped shirt, a dark green and maroon striped shirt, and a blue and white striped shirt. Briefly he wondered where all these shirts had come from, but shrugged the thought off and grabbed a shirt decisively. He was feeling purple today.
-asdfjkl;-
Ike spotted the dark-haired boy standing in the hallway alone, his back leaning against the door that led to the room he and Lucas shared and foot tapping impatiently. The blue-haired mercenary slowed to halt in front of his and greeted the boy. "Morning, Ness."
Ness opened his eyes and looked up, recognizing the deep voice. "Oh, hey, Ike," he responded, pushing off the door and standing upright.
"Aren't you coming down to breakfast?"
Ness cast his eyes sideways, sighing. "I'm waiting for the blockhead," he answered, and they both knew who he was referring to. "No offense, but Lucas is exhausting to be around sometimes."
"Oh, none taken. I know all about that," Ike agreed, crossing his arms. "So would you; you're the one who lives with him."
Ness nodded. "Sure do. Dammit, I told him ten minutes was the max! It's been at least fifteen," he suddenly raged, turning and preparing to yell something through the door at the absent blonde.
Before he could, however, there was a sudden bloodcurdling scream, coming from right inside the door.
Both males froze for a split second. Then Ness barged back inside, frantic eyes scanning the room. "Lucas!" he called, rushing to the bathroom door that was still closed, Ike not hesitating to follow his lead. Ness pressed an ear to the door, hearing whimpers. "Lucas! What's wrong? I'm coming in," he said, waiting only long enough to get the words out of his mouth before he threw the door open, Ike hovering above him. They both peered inside anxiously.
Lucas was on the floor, dressed in denim shorts and a purple striped t-shirt and wailing into the tile, splayed on his stomach like he'd just heard the worst news of his life.
Ness and Ike rushed to his side, panic overriding everything else. "Lucas," Ike spoke over the boy's sobs this time, tentatively touching the blonde's shoulder, "what happened?" Ness was looking him up and down, trying to asses the situation himself. Had he hurt himself somehow?
Lucas groaned, silencing his cries for a moment. "I—I just," he hiccuped here, "...my h-hair won't do anything!" he wailed, crying as if this was a matter of life or death. "It just sits there in that annoying flip thing! It's so ugly! I want to die!"
Both Ike's and Ness' jaws dropped to the floor. But while Ike deadpanned, Ness about slapped the grief-stricken boy. "The hell are you doing, screaming like that over your damn hair! I thought you were dying or something, you stupid prick!" He picked Lucas up off the floor by the shoulders. "It looks fine! Quit being such a baby and man up!" Ike had never seen Ness so pissed off, though he couldn't be blamed; the bluenette was tempted to whack him for such a scare too.
Lucas looked shocked, staring at Ness with wide teary eyes. Then, most unexpectedly, he gave him a wide grin. "You really think so, Ness?" he asked, and one could almost see the stars in his eyes as he did so.
Ness looked nonplussed. "Wha—I mean—yes! Yes, damn it, you look fine." Ness looked to Ike for help. "Doesn't he look fine, Ike?"
Ike nodded. "Yes. Lucas, you look stunning."
Lucas turned to look at the tallest boy with a dreamy smile. "Aww, thanks, Ike!" he threw himself at the other in a hug. Ike looked down at the blonde with an eyebrow raised, nevertheless patting him on the head in response.
A few other Smashers could be seen gathering in the hallway outside the room, having heard the ruckus. Link had the tenacity to enter. "Hey, is everything okay?" he poked his head in and asked, shooting the three on the floor in the bathroom a questioning look. "We heard screaming."
Ness stood up, dusting his shorts off with an irritated look. "Yeah, yeah, we're fine. Lucas is just having a 'bad hair day'," he answered, using air quotes accordingly.
When Ike managed to pry Lucas off his middle, the three made their way from the dorm floor to the first floor, to the very end of which lay the cafeteria. Nearly all the other Smashers were there, sitting in small groups and chatting amongst themselves, eating breakfast contentedly and waiting for the day's practice matches to be posted. Grabbing various food items off the buffet table, the trio headed to their usual table and sat down with their group of friends, which consisted of Toon Link, Red, Popo, Nana, and Pit, all of which were about halfway done with their own plates.
Popo grinned through his stuffed mouth, greeting the latecomers with a muffled voice. "G'mrningf, Rukush, Nesh, Ike."
Toon Link frowned at him. "Don't talk with your mouth full, it's gross."
"Hey guys!" Lucas chirped as he seated himself between Ike and Ness comfortably, apparently having fully recovered from his little breakdown that morning.
"Mornin'," Nana acknowledged them.
"What's up?" Red said.
"A good morning to you all," Pit smiled.
"Hey all," Ness answered.
Ike just grunted.
"So why were you guys late to breakfast?" Popo asked, having swallowed his food. "Let me guess; Ness wouldn't wake up again."
Ness frowned, munching on his bacon. "No, actually. It was all Lucas this time." The dark-haired boy cast a look at the blonde next to him, whom had just taken his first bite of omelet. "He was throwing a huge fit over his hair."
Toon Link raised an eyebrow. "Like he always does?"
Ness shook his head. "No, even worse. He screamed so loud we thought he was dying, and he was lying on the floor sobbing like an idiot."
All eyes turned to Lucas now, who shrugged nonchalantly. "What? Don't tell me you guys have never gotten so fed up with your hair that you just go off."
Pit laughed. "I can honestly say that's never happened to me before."
"Nor me," Red added, regarding Lucas with an amused expression.
"Not even I do that, Lucas," Nana sighed, picking at her pancake.
Lucas just shrugged his shoulders again. "Whatever," he said as he continued to eat.
"You just can't admit that that was out of line," Ness muttered, rolling his eyes and opening a packet of ketchup to squirt onto his scrambled eggs. Unfortunately, he opened it a little too roughly, and a good portion of it flew out of the little package and onto Lucas' shirt, forming a huge, noticeable blob of red on his side. Lucas, feeling something, looked down and gasped, all of a sudden glaring at the dark-haired boy fiercely.
"You...you bastard! Look at what you did! There's ketchup all over my shirt! Ugh, why are you so sloppy? Idiot!" he yelled at the boy next to him, getting all up in his face and hitting his shoulder. His voice was so loud some people around the cafeteria were now looking at them.
Ness jerked away from him, clearly surprised at his sudden flare of anger. "Woah, man, calm down. It's just ketchup..."
"Just ketchup? Just ketchup? Ness, this is a brand new shirt! It's...it's..." the blonde was shaking, his head bowed, when just as suddenly as before, he began to sob. "It's ruined!" he howled, attracting even more attention from everyone else. "I can't get this much ketchup off my shirt! It's impossible! It's going to look so tacky!"
Everyone at the table stared at him with disbelief, amazed at how fast the transition from rage to utmost sorrow had been. They were all quiet for a moment, not even Ness having any idea of what to say.
"Hey, Ike!" Wolf shouted from across the room. "Tell your boyfriend to shut the hell up!"
A few scattered chuckles and giggles were heard. It was common knowledge that Lucas and Ike had a 'thing' going on, and most of the teasing that had erupted once this fact was made public (by an all-too-estatic Peach, who else?) had died down significantly, though every once in a while it came up again. Ike rolled his eyes but didn't dignify the guy with an answer, instead opting to wrap a soothing arm around Lucas' shaking shoulders. "C'mon, Lucas, it is just ketchup. I know Peach could get that stain out if you asked her nicely."
Lucas' fit was reduced to sniffles. "Y-you really think so, Ike?"
Ike gave the blonde a bro-hug. "Of course."
Ness sighed, deciding that playing along was his best option in this case. "And I'm sorry I was stupid and spilled my ketchup," he apologized, not really meaning much of it.
Lucas wiped at his face. "Y'know, it's okay. It's just a shirt, after all," he reasoned, starting to giggle. "I was being silly, huh?"
"Extremely," the dark-haired boy mumbled under his breath, picking at his eggs, which were still ketchup-less. Everyone who had been watching, now satisfied, turned back to their own tables and the idle chatter resumed.
The rest of breakfast passed in a happy mood...for Lucas, at least. All besides him kept giving the oblivious blonde strange looks, wondering just what was wrong with him. He'd never gotten so angry in front of everyone like that before, nor been that turbulent in emotion. It was like he was PMSing or something. Ness was very careful after that while eating, not wanting another incident like the previous to unfold. Not even Ike had any idea of what had gotten into him.
After breakfast, at nine o'clock, the day's brawl schedule was posted. Since it was the weekend, they weren't official, but everyone still loved them because of how fun they were; while normal tournament matches were always three stock, no item, Final Destination only, the weekend matches were always wild and more fun-oriented. All the Smashers gathered around the electronic screen that listed the day's upcoming matches. The first one was as follows:
FREE-FOR-ALL. FALCO, IKE, GAME N' WATCH, ZELDA. FIFTY STOCK. ALL ITEMS ON. SMASHVILLE. BEGINS AT NINE FIFTEEN.
Most everyone groaned, disappointed that they hadn't been picked for the first match. Ike himself sighed, crossing his arms. "Fifty stock? That's going to take a while."
Lucas was looking at the other brawls scheduled throughout the rest of the day. "I...I don't see my name anywhere..." the blonde said shakily, like he was about to cry again.
Ness quickly intervened. "That's okay, Lucas! Today's only Saturday anyway. You'll probably have one tomorrow!" he reassured with a fake tone of excitement.
The shortest boy pondered this for a moment. "Yeah...you're right!" he suddenly agreed, smiling again. He then faced the taller bluenette. "Good luck today, Ike!" he sang, latching onto him again in a hug. "I know you'll do super awesome!"
A few of the nearby Smashers scoffed, while others aww'd. Ike chuckled and rubbed the boy's back gratefully, not missing the fact that Lucas was being awfully touchy-feely today, much more so than usual. "Thank you. And while I'm fighting, maybe you and Ness could go get that stain of yours taken care of?"
"Yeah! That's a great idea! Right, Ness?" Lucas detached and turned to the other boy, beaming and just absurdly happy over something so trivial.
Ness faked a smile, internally rolling his eyes. He couldn't very well turn him down, though; the stain had been his fault, after all. "Yeah, 'course. I'm sure Peach hasn't got anything else to do."
"Then it's settled," Ike nodded, gently pushing Lucas away. "You kids have fun."
Ness grunted. "You're only two years older than us."
"But you still act like kids, right?"
Ness merely turned away, grabbing Lucas' wrist and dragging the blonde off with him and ignoring Ike's warning of 'be careful with Lucas, okay?'. As they turned down the corridor, he muttered grumpily. "He's so high and mighty...I don't know what you see in him, man."
Lucas giggled a little uncharacteristically, skipping along with his taller companion. "Aww, c'mon, you know he's just teasing. He's really cute, and he's super duper nice to me! Total dreamboat."
"Dreamboat?" Ness looked back at him, letting go of his wrist. "Seriously?"
"Mhmm!" He grinned. "Come on, Ness, you halfta have a dreamboat too! Who is it? Is it Nana?"
Ness grimaced. "What? No. Nana's too high-maintenance for me."
"Suuure."
"Shut up."
As they traversed the hallway, a short little man tottered on by, followed by a legion of tiny little Pikmin of varying colors. His glass helmet shined in the fluorescent light coming from the bulbs on the ceiling. It was Olimar, the mysterious spaceman. It amused Lucas to no end that someone like Olimar, who had to be at least twenty years old, was shorter than them by almost half a foot. The blonde waved at him as he walked by, and Olimar saluted them both with the tiniest of smiles before toddling past them.
Ness' eyes were trained on him the entire time, discreetly and yet pretty obviously. Lucas noticed this and paused, causing the dark-haired boy to in turn halt and look back at him with a cocked eyebrow. The blonde's expression was blank for a second before his face broke into a wide grin and he pointed at Ness. "You liiike him!"
Ness' face immediately went red. "H-huh? What are you talking about? I don't even—"
"Don't lie! I saw you making eyes at him," Lucas winked, skipping back up to his side. "It's okay though! I support your secret love one hundred percent!"
"Sh-shut up!" Ness elbowed him hard, causing him to wince a bit, but the dumb smile never left his face. "Besides, there's no way he'd be interested in me anyway."
"And he admits it!" Lucas laughed. "You never know until you try, though! Same thing happened with me and Ike."
Ness sighed, shaking his head. "But...Olimar's a guy. And so am I."
Lucas' eyes narrowed. "And what's wrong with that?" he cut in fiercely, his tone sharp and defensive.
Ness held his hands up, unnerved by the sudden demeanor switch. "Nothing, nothing, just...I'm not sure he'd be okay with something like that, y'know? We barely know each other, anyway..."
"Well, if you don't hook up yourselves, I'll do it for you!" Lucas decided, pushing past him and heading for the stairs.
Ness facepalmed. "Hell no, Lucas, we don't need another matchmaker," he protested as he caught up with his buddy, ascending the stairs two at a time.
Up two more flights, they found themselves on the dorm floor once again. The ladies dorms were nearest the staircase, so it took a mere few strides to place themselves in front of the door, Ness taking initiative and rapping his fist on the dark wood. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
They waited a few seconds before the door opened, revealing Samus in nothing but her Zero suit. She looked down at them with an almost bored expression. "Yes?"
"Is Peach here?" Ness asked her. "We need to ask her a favor."
Samus stepped to the side, beckoning them inside. The two filed in past her, observing the room curiously. It wasn't all pink and girly, like one would expect. It looked exactly like theirs, just minus the various posters of Ness' and with a few decorative things like pictures and vases of flowers. There were two couches sitting around a T.V. mounted on the wall, and it was on one of these couches that Peach sat, painting her nails. When she saw the duo enter through her peripheral vision, she looked up and smiled at them, pleasant as ever. "Oh, Ness, Lucas. What brings you two here?"
Ness ditched pleasantries, getting right to the point. "We need you to try and get this stain out of Lucas' shirt," he said, grabbing said boy's shirt and holding it out to her, showing off the dark red patch.
Peach blew on her nails before standing up, walking over to them and examining the problem closely. "Oh dear! What, is this blood?" she asked, her tone worried.
Lucas actually laughed. "Oh, no, Peach. It's just ketchup."
"Oh, thank goodness," she giggled herself, straightening up. "Well, I'm not sure if I can get it out...it looks like there was a lot of it that dried in," she thought aloud, tapping her chin with the tips of freshly-painted nails.
Lucas' face fell so much it was almost comical. "Wait, so my shirt really is...ruined...?" he trailed off, tears already forming in his eyes. Ness frantically motioned to Peach from behind him, begging that she do something before he broke down again.
Peach was shocked by such a severe reaction from the blonde, but nevertheless patted him on the back soothingly. "Oh, Lucas! I never said it was impossible!" she revoked her words, replacing them with careful ones. "It may take a while, but I'm sure I can get it done eventually! Just leave it to me."
And just like that, Lucas' expression was happy-go-lucky once more. "Really? That's totally awesome! Thanks so much, Peach!" he sang, hugging her around the middle just like he did Ike.
Peach laughed, though she gave Ness a questioning glance, one that he answered with an exasperated shrug. "It's no problem, sweetie," she assured him, ruffling his hair just a bit. "You can leave the shirt with me, and I'll take care of it."
Lucas nodded happily. "Kay!" he exclaimed before shrugging out of the shirt quickly and holding it out. When Peach took it from him, though, his expression blanked for a few seconds. He observed his surroundings with an air of confusion. Turning to Ness, he scratched the back of his head. "Why are we in the girls' room?"
Ness gave him a funny look. "To have her get rid of the stain on your shirt, remember?"
Lucas frowned. "What stain?"
"...the ketchup stain from breakfast, man, don't play stupid."
"We ate breakfast?"
Ness facepalmed for the second time that day. "My God...Lucas, just shut up."
"What? I seriously don't remember anything. What day is it?"
"Now you're just being an idiot."
Peach watched the two interact with an amused smile. "Anyway, I heard Ike was fighting this morning. Weren't you going to watch, Lucas?"
Lucas looked genuinely surprised. "Ike's fighting?"
Ness grabbed the blonde's wrist a little too tightly. "Yes, as a matter of fact, we were," he answered for him, dragging him away. "Bye, Peach."
Lucas was used to going along with whatever Ness had to say with very little knowledge of the plan, so he merely gave the fellow blonde a small wave. "Goodbye, Miss Peach."
She giggled and returned the gesture. "Bye, boys."
Once back in the hallway, Ness shot Lucas an annoyed look. "So are you happy now? Your precious shirt's gonna be just fine."
Lucas thought about this. "I guess so," he answered, not entirely sure what he was talking about.
"What do you mean, I guess so?" Ness retorted, internally raging. "You were so hell-bent on it before!"
Lucas shrugged. "Like I said, I don't remember anything. What did we do?"
The two made quick work of jumping down the stairs to the second floor, where the match teleports were. "Whatever. Even if you really don't remember, I'm not in the mood to explain it." They entered a broad room with many various portals to different places. The only active one was labeled 'Smashville: Audience', and it was this one they walked towards.
Lucas suddenly noticed something. "Wait, hold on. I'm not wearing a shirt..." he said, glancing down at his bare torso.
Ness snorted. "I'm sure Ike won't care much," he said, stepping through the portal.
Lucas blinked a few times before shrugging and stepping through the portal himself. With a bright glimmer of light and a sharp SHWOO sound, he was gone.
—e—n—d—c—h—a—p—t—e—r—
A/N: I just love my sound effects. SHWOO, seriously? I'm such an idiot. :B So Purple!Lucas is bipolar. And a bit girly. Hopefully you found this chapter mildly entertaining. Next up: Red!Lucas. Can you guess what his personality will be like? Lol. And yes, the NessxOlimar is serious business. So, thoughts? Leave a review telling me whatcha liked, didn't like, things I can improve on, etc. etc. Thanks in advance! Until next time~. C: