"Why is this taking so long?"
Sirius watched his best friend pacing the waiting room of St. Mungo's maternity ward, as he'd been doing for most of the last ten hours.
"I'm sure everything is fine," he tried to calm him, "Don't worry, Prongs!"
But James was obviously worried, and Sirius couldn't fault him for it. He too was feeling quite anxious. Not because he feared that anything might go wrong with the birth—he trusted the healers were more than capable—but because the place was too exposed and too unsafe for his liking. If Voldemort or his Death Eaters got wind of their presence, they could be in big trouble. However, James had been adamant about Lily giving birth at St. Mungo's, where she'd receive the best care from skilled healers prepared for any complications. He was taking no risks with the birth of his first child. The Order of the Phoenix was on alert and patrolling the building. Still, Sirius would have liked to leave sooner rather than later.
"It's Lily's first birth. These always take longest." said Peter.
Both Sirius and James looked at him strangely.
"And how would you know?" asked Sirius.
Peter shrugged. "I think I read it somewhere."
Sirius snorted, while James shook his head with an irritated scowl. "And how is this information supposed to help, Wormtail?" he snapped.
"I... I don't know", stammered Peter, "I... just... thought..."
"Well, that's the problem! You never think!"
A look of hurt crossed Peter's face. Uncertain he looked at Sirius, who just raised his eyebrows. It was unlike James to snap at people like this for no apparent reason, even if it was Peter. He really had to be under a lot of stress. Mumbling something about "getting a cup of tea" Peter got up and exited the waiting room, leaving Sirius and James alone.
"What if something is wrong?" James whispered. For the first time since Sirius had known him he sounded truly afraid.
"Nothing is wrong!" Sirius said firmly, suppressing his own anxiety, "You heard Peter; it's normal to take this long the first time."
"Yeah well, Peter's knowledge isn't usually the most accurate, is it?"
"I'm sure he only meant well."
James looked guilty. "You're right. I shouldn't have snapped at him. I'm going to apologize to him when he gets back."
Just then the door to the waiting room opened, but it wasn't Peter returning, it was one of the healers. "Mr Potter?"
His face a mixture of dread and hope James got up.
The healer smiled at him. "Congratulations. You have a son."
Sirius let out a loud cheer, while James looked dumbstruck. Slowly he broke into a grin. "I have a son." he said, sounding amazed.
"You do." said Sirius grinning and hugged him, "Congratulations!"
Suddenly the worried expression returned to James's face. "What about Lily?" he wanted to know from the healer.
"Your wife is fine." the healer confirmed, "Both of them are."
"Can I see them?" James asked hopefully, and the healer nodded.
"This way please, Mr Potter."
Sirius stayed in the waiting room, wanting to give the Potters some privacy.
Feeling elated he found that he could not stop smiling. For a little while he completely forgot to be worried. James and Lily had a son! And he, Sirius Black, was going to be the child's godfather! Despite the war he was feeling hopeful for the future.
After a while James returned, followed by Peter, to Sirius's surprise.
"Two sons!" James proclaimed, "Can you believe it?"
"Two?" Sirius repeated, confused.
"Twins." Peter explained with a smile, "Wait till you see them, Padfoot! They're perfect."
Sirius experienced a sting of jealousy. Peter had already seen them? But he was James's best friend! He should have seen them first! His indignation quickly drained away, however, in the wake of mischievous thoughts. Sirius thought of twin terrors Gideon and Fabian Prewett at Hogwarts; he could hardly imagine what the new twins would be like, raised by Marauders. Now that he thought of it, hadn't Alice had twins yesterday as well? Sirius wracked his brains, attempting to recall more of Frank's excited and almost unintelligible floo call, but soon gave up.
"I'm so happy!" said James, still grinning madly, "I wish Moony wouldn't have to deal with his furry little problem tonight, and could be here and celebrate with us."
His friends shared a look. Neither Sirius nor Peter had told James that they suspected Remus of being a spy; he would never have listened to them. Though Sirius still felt somewhat dirty for even entertaining such a suspicion about one of his best friends, he had justified it to himself by citing Dumbledore's worry of a leak in James's circle and the fact that Remus had been acting more distant lately and hedging with his words. It was a flimsy rationalization, and it did nothing to help Sirius sleep at night, but at the same time he just could not help his doubt and paranoia, excessive as it might be.
Better disliked than dead. With that morose thought, Sirius returned his gaze to James's bouncing profile, cheering himself up instantly, hurrying after him into the room. Sirius's eyes at once caught on the tiny swaddle of blankets cradled in Lily Potter's arms. She looked terrible, likely in the last stages of utter exhaustion, but simultaneously radiant. It was her expression, Sirius decided: one of pure, unadulterated joy.
Sirius felt his lips curving upward to copy her smile, and, for once, his worries seemed to melt away into the back of his mind, leaving only a pleasant, heady sensation.
"What are their names?" he breathed, turning at first to James but aborting the motion halfway, leaving him angled awkwardly.
Lily answered anyway, "Harry and Charlus Potter," she said, twisting about slightly to show both newborns. Sirius did not quite catch which one was which, but he supposed he could figure that out later; they looked identical, at any rate, both somewhat like discoloured mandrake roots with fine dustings of black fuzz. Somehow, they were still incredibly endearing.
"Harry and Charlus." Sirius repeated, grinning like a loon. Even had he wanted to, he doubted he could have convinced his facial muscles to change their orientation.
"Excellent names!" Peter complimented, voice faltering somewhat near the end of his short exclamation. Sirius shot him a half-hearted annoyed look. Peter never seemed to know what to say, and what did come out of his mouth seemed forever awkward or incorrect. Another glance at Lily, however, showed that she hardly seemed to care, and was beaming at the man.
"Why, thank you, Wormtail." James said, walking around Sirius to give Peter a hearty cuff on the back before pulling both of his friends closer to the hospital bed. Now Sirius got a good look at the babies, and confirmed that his earlier assessment had not been far from the mark. Two pairs of bulbous, watery eyes stared up at him and one of the babies moved his head about slowly. That one was slightly bigger than the other one, and perhaps slightly less ugly.
"You'd better watch out, Prongs." Sirius murmured, turning to James with a conspiratorial smirk on his face. "They'll be beating off the women with sticks before you know it."
"Sirius!" Lily reprimanded, though playfully and with none of the rancour that had coloured her voice in their school days. Mission accomplished, Sirius leaned back and affected a smug air. James punched his shoulder.
"Great. It'll be your job to teach them all about it, Mister Dogfather." James's mien suddenly grew serious, though he was still smiling. He leaned in and winked, whispering, "No joke."
Sirius stared at him in incomprehension for a moment. "You mean Godfather? Serious?"
"No, you're Sirius." James said, laughing boisterously. Sirius did not even bother to scowl. He looked around dazedly. Lily was leaning back, cradling her sons, and Peter was beaming at him. Sirius felt a giddy warmth blossoming inside him and spreading throughout his body.
"Godfather." he said again, only half-aware of the movement of his lips, his mind having been shocked into somewhat of a muddle. The word came out somewhat garbled around his grin, and he nearly fell over as James slapped him heartily on the back.
Then he sobered. That he was the godfather would only matter if James and Lily died. No… Sirius's duty as godfather would be never to be needed in that role. He looked around suddenly, as if paranoid that Death Eaters would be hiding out in the hospital room ready to ambush them at any moment.
Sirius was already his friends' secret keeper. Now he had another tie to them. Death Eaters really could be after him to extort the information out of him. He would never betray his friends, but Sirius's old self-confidence was gone. What if dark wizards had some other method to get it out of him?
Peter seemed to notice his sudden low mood, and put a reassuring hand on his arm. Sirius looked at the portly little man with new eyes. Peter. Nobody ever really noticed Peter.
"I was thinking, Prongs." Sirius began, turning to his best friend and pulling him a little to the side. Peter turned away tactfully, for once, to talk to Lily again. "You're going to stay at home with Lily now, right?"
James nodded, looking somewhat bemused at this change of topic. "Six weeks, yes. What is it?"
Sirius paused for a moment to put the words together in his mind, "I'm scared you won't be safe." he admitted.
"But the charm—"
"I know." Sirius said, "But it's obvious that I'm the secret keeper. If they kill me, everyone who knows where the house is will be able to tell."
"What are you saying?" James seemed torn between several disparate emotional states.
"Dumbledore says—you know what Dumbledore said about there being a… leak."
"No, I don't believe it." James declared, looking somewhat betrayed at Sirius's reminder.
"I don't either." Sirius lied, "But just in case, you know I'm the obvious choice."
James frowned. "Well so what? We have to have a secret keeper."
"Well, yes. But what if it wasn't me, and everyone just thought it was me?"
"You're saying we should change secret keepers? Who?" James asked sharply, finally getting the point. Sirius nodded once. He turned around and twitched his head slightly at Peter.
A/N: Read and review! Fluffy-Bond and I are co-writing this story. We thought it would be fun to play around with this admittedly hackneyed plot, so though this is not a parody, it does make jabs at some common cliches. The German version can be found under her account at fanfiction s/8983482/1/Der-Zwillings-Trick